The Otis Advisory

Objects in mirror are more dangerous than they appear.  Say hello to the Double Whammy - citizen Sam, Crypto Child King of Bait Coin and Uncle Fester of Pennsylvania, two snappy dressers with a thing for cash – yours!   Both Sam the Bait Coin banker and Fester the Terrible happened in plain sight.  Did no one see this coming?  Have you had the water at Camp Lejeune?  All here in the latest Otis Advisory.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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Here's the real story of Red Nose Reindeer guy who got jacked around by a bunch of snotty, two-faced reindeer who gave him a hard time about having the wrong color nose.  Privileged little social elites laughed and called him names until Santa put a boot up some reindeer butt and shut down all the “wrong color nose” business when he picked red nose guy to run point on the flying sleigh.  Hear Podcast ~ Get Otis ~ Wash Hands  

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America’s medical sweetheart has now gone the way of the buffalo and the gag order has finally been lifted.  No more gagging on Anthony Fauchi!  All that chin boogie about “follow the science and put on your eating pants,” was just some bumper sticker at a wet market.  Remember, an aged steak just means it’s one step closer to rotten.  D'Otis  has the story.  Hear Podcast - Wash Hands.  

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The gooey cheese in the mouse trap was just Bait Coin the whole time!  Billions washed away while the bed-wetting fake money king orders his Taylor Swift tickets, the ones that cost more than your car.  Blood splatter analysis has Bad Donkey all over it.  If you had a donkey in your pants, you got your share!   Otis tells what took down the whole bait coin slaughterhouse and how Congressman lady Maxine California helped count it all.  HEAR PODCAST ~ Wash Hands.

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Twitter’s new Prince of Darkness cut his pajama-wearing payroll in half.   The Honor Snacks cash box came up light, which means turn in your gun and badge.  But at House of Twitter it’s more like pack up your Zen toothpicks, your Woopie moisturizer and your Keyser Soze lunch box and take your big wheels back to the house.   Hear Podcast.  Wash Hands.

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Smash Mouth politics pops when there’s another hot mic moment.  It’s your best chance to get a good snootful of what you’re not supposed to see. Like catching them in knee-high black socks and open-toe sandals trying to validate their parking ticket.  It might be uncomfortable, but when its Bad Donkey getting caught, they just have another hit of laughing gas and remind you that you’re the problem.  It’s like a Bad Donkey miracle!  Hear Podcast.  Wash Hands. 

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If you’re ever filling out some job application and you come to the race question, this might help if you’re in the unfortunate situation of needing to check the White box.  Sorry pal, but here’s how you make the most of it.  Just draw in that little sad-face symbol right there next to the offensive word White to declare your shame, remorse and instability for having to be that way, ‘ya pig.  And whatever you do, don’t even think about writing in “not my fault” or some jive ass deal like that.  It damn sure is your fault so start drawing the “I’m Sorry” face and learn to like it!  Hear Podcast.  Wash hands.

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Lawyers are saying that Little Hunter was just too drunk and high to pay his taxes.  Go ahead, try that out yourself next Tax Day.   Washington already knows that Hunter is a lot like cat pee – you can never get the smell out.  “Hey, even a hurricane has a dirty side.”  But don’t worry Little Hunter, you can still use your arrest warrant as a floatation device. Oh the larceny!   Hear podcast.  Wash hands.

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Just about everywhere you go is half infested with men.  Your rulers aren’t so happy about it since men usually like meat and high octane - both bad.  They know that men are naturally stinky and have no visible means of support. This leaves them open to becoming victims of Wife Supremacy, which means they’re “SOL” – Flemish for “somewhat out of luck.” There’s no cure for wife supremacy and the chances of it happening to you increase with age. Otis Advisory has the whole story from behind the razor wire.

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Meatless Monday is really not that different from finding out you live in a dry county.  Same deal - you just have to move.  But to make it worse, you are supposed to want to eat bugs so you can be more like Bill Gates.  But what if you don’t want to be like Bill Gates?  Can't you just go back to a T-bone and a vodka tonic?  Otis Advisory has the whole story from behind the razor wire. 

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