IN WHICH we meet Mrs. Lovett’s pie-baker, who she keeps imprisoned in the basement; then he is slain by an assassin with a hammer, and she has to hire (that is, trap) a new pie-baker. ... Mrs. Oakley revenges herself upon her husband and Big Ben with the help of some kind of purgative she spikes their meal with ... and Johanna’s bestie Arabella Wilmot hatches a scheme for Johanna to dress as a boy to sniff out news of the fate of her fiancé.

A tip-top welcome to all you flash kiddies, game hellcats, natty lads and knights of the brush and moon, to the Chaffing Crib! 'Tis another Saturday night, and that means it’s time to schuck yer flyers and put up yer pins. Top off yer tumblers with straight Stark Naked, sluice yer gobs with a big splash of the same, and swivel yer lugs my way, because another rare bit of prattlery in the form of the Penny Dreadful Story Hour is upon us like Tom, Jerry, and good old Bob Logic on a lively gin hell full of dimber doxies!

IN WHICH Sweeney Todd is almost caught by a nest of highway robbers while running for it, after the lapidary he tried to fence the pearls to smelled a rat and shouted "stop thief"; the loathesome Pastor Lupin gets very drunk and tries to swindle his way to Johanna's sweet favors by working on her mother, but is taken down a peg by Mr. Oakley's cousin, a burly beefeater named Ben; and Colonel Jeffery tries to investigate Sweeney Todd's shop for evidence of his friend Thornhill.

A tip-top welcome to all you arch doxies, rum coves, fly Corinthians and knights of the brush and moon! Welcome to the chaffing crib! It’s another Saturday night, wherefore 'tis time to schuck yer flyers and put up yer pins. Fill yer flickers with clear blue lightning, sluice yer blessed ivories with a healthy noggin of same, and swivel yer lugs my way, because another rare bit of chaffery in the form of the Penny Dreadful Story Hour is upon us like Dick Turpin on a chawbacon’s swag on market day!

IN WHICH Johanna learns sad news about her missing fiance, and Sweeney Todd makes an attempt to fence the pearls he stole from Mr. Thornhill after murdering him in Chapter 1 ... but the pearls are worth the equivalent, in modern money, of about $4.5 million. The attempt will not go the way the barber hopes ....

A thunderous welcome to all you dimber doxies, prime coves, fly Corinthians and knights of the brush and moon! Welcome to my chaffing crib. It’s Saturday night, and that means it’s time to schuck yer flyers and put up yer pins. Fill yer flickers with blue ruin, sluice yer tombstones, and prick up yer lugs, because another episode of the Penny Dreadful Story Hour is upon us like Dick Turpin on a spooney!

IN WHICH we are introduced to Johanna Oakley, our heroine, who pines for her fiance Mark Ingestrie, whom she believes to be lost at sea; and to Col. Jeffery, one of our heroes, and close friend of Thornhill, the sea-faring gentleman who Sweeney Todd "polished off" last week in Chapter 1. Thornhill's dog continues to bedevil Sweeney Todd.

Then, in Chapter 4, we are introduced to Sarah Lovett, the comely widow who operates the most famous pie shop in London, in Bell Yard (street). We also get to learn how Sweeney Todd is blackmailing his apprentice boy, Tobias, into being faithful and keeping his mouth shut.

WELCOME TO ALL you rum doxies, prime coves, Corinthian Toms and knights of the brush and moon, to The Chaffing Crib! 'Tis another Saturday night, wherefore 'tis time to schuck yer flyers and put up yer pins — fill yer flickers with clear blue ruin, sluice yer tombstones, and prick up yer lugs, because another episode of the Penny Dreadful Story Hour is upon us like a high spicer on an oofy spooney.

IN WHICH we are introduced to a new podcast (or, rather, a reorienting of an old one) that seeks to replicate the experience of a London street urchin listening to an older kid reading/performing the latest installments of the weekly "Penny Dreadful" story papers. It's the tippy!

Then, as those early-Victorian street urchins would say — we throw the hatchet! We let fly the customary "teaser," in the form of the first chapter of SWEENEY TODD, THE BARBER OF FLEET-STREET — in which we meet Todd as he is terrifying his young apprentice, Tobias; and then we see him, by some mysterious method, cause a customer to disappear in his shop without a trace! The customer, Mr. Thornhill, was carrying a very valuable string of pearls ...

IN WHICH Flora and Charles are interrupted in their canoodling by the sudden appearance of THE VAMPYRE ... the next-door neighbor, Sir Francis Varney, who dropped by to view the mysterious portrait and to try again to buy Bannerworth Hall.  (This is our first episode conducted remotely via Zoom, and a glitch in the audio forced us to use one of the monitor mixes, so the stereo effect isn't right ... we're working on it!) 

IN WHICH we get to meet Old Admiral Bell and his faithful sailor-servant, Jack Pringle ... and more vampirey things happen to poor, hard-swooning, sharp-shooting Flora Bannerworth, and Henry's mom's boyfriend goes just a little overboard in trying to get rid of Flora's inconveniently-appearing boyfriend, Charles Holland ... meanwhile, Kris and Jenn and Finn make some equally bad decisions about which phrases are going to trigger the drinking bell.

Chapter 15: THE OLD ADMIRAL AND HIS SERVANT ... THE COMMUNICATION FROM THE LANDLORD OF THE NELSON’S ARMS ...

Chapter 16: THE MEETING OF THE LOVERS IN THE GARDEN ... AN AFFECTING SCENE ... THE SUDDEN APPEARANCE OF SIR FRANCIS VARNEY ...

IN WHICH Jennifer, Kris and Finn carry on with their Amontillado-fueled impersonation of Joel, Tom and Crow through three more exquisitely Dreadful chapters of the second-most-famous Penny Dreadful of mid-Victorian England: James Malcolm Rymer's "Varney the Vampyre":

Chapter 12: CHARLES HOLLAND’S SAD FEELINGS ... THE PORTRAIT ...THE OCCURRENCE OF THE NIGHT AT THE HALL ....

Chapter 13: THE OFFER FOR THE HALL ... THE VISIT TO SIR FRANCIS VARNEY ... THE STRANGE RESEMBLANCE ... A DREADFUL SUGGESTION ....

Chapter 14: HENRY’S AGREEMENT WITH SIR FRANCIS VARNEY ... THE SUDDEN ARRIVAL AT THE HALL ... FLORA’S ALARM ....

IN WHICH your intrepid hosts give the full MST3K treatment to one of the most beloved of Lovecraft's early horror writings ... 

It's like of Mystery Science Theater 3000 only with 2 fewer robots, 2 more humans, 1 less movie and 4 more chapters of an audiobook narration of the campiest, cheesiest bit of Tales-from-the-Crypt melodrama the Penny Dreadful era had to offer! A stereo podcast, with the story in your right ear and your hosts' sarcastic remarks in your left. Pour yourself a great goblet of aged amontillado from the cask in the cellar, put your headphones on, and join us!

Chapter 8: THE COFFIN ... THE ABSENCE OF THE DEAD ... THE MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCE, AND THE CONSTERNATION OF GEORGE ...

Chapter 9: THE OCCURRENCES OF THE NIGHT AT THE HALL ... THE SECOND APPEARANCE OF THE VAMPYRE, AND THE PISTOL-SHOT ...

Chapter 10: THE RETURN FROM THE VAULT ... THE ALARM, AND THE SEARCH AROUND THE HALL ...

Chapter 11: THE COMMUNICATION TO THE LOVER ... THE HEART’S DESPAIR.