Neelix tells the Borg Babies a spooky tale to distract them from Voyager’s high-stakes (well, medium-stakes) mission! Will the CyberKid Detective Squad discover the chilling reason behind the lights being briefly turned off? Will someone fix the coffee replicator before Janeway drives the ship into a space ditch? Is “The Haunting of Deck Twelve” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?

A doctor is sick, and the only doctor who can save him is The Doctor! The EMH hops into WinZip and e-mails himself back to the Alpha Quadrant for a medical emergency unlike any other! Can he save his cantankerous, emotionally abusive genius of a pseudo-father? Is it possible for the marvelous presence of Counselor Troi to be kind of a drag? Whatever happened to all that holo-rights stuff? Is “Life Line” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?

In an episode that should not be listened to by anyone ever, we decide to drink multiple rounds of something called a “pickleback” while discussing the violent, rage-soaked return of Kes to the Voyager stage! Can she save the ship from her angry old lady self? Will this story bring long-awaited closure to the Ocampan arc? Did we provide any coherent commentary in the second half of this episode? Is “Fury” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?

B’Elanna falls from the sky and lands in the adoring clutches of an alien bard! He’s writing for his life on a proxy of ancient-ish, renaissance-ish Earth, but B’Elanna is more of a math person! Will she escape back to Voyager before the bard can finish his peacemaking masterpiece? Will anyone notice that Harry also fell from the sky? Is “Muse” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?

Three con artists on a garbage scowl engage in the Delta Quadrant’s most devious crime: unauthorized Voyager cosplay! Can Janeway put an end to their spree before her reputation as a killer is replaced by a reputation as a cheat? Will random criminal guy take his one-man show “I, Tuvok” on the road? Is “Live Fast and Prosper” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?

Janeway takes four sad-sack crew members out for some mandatory fun in a gas giant! Can a tightly regimented afternoon of professional development and forced morale building turn these weirdos into Starfleet material? What insane lengths will this season reach in order to avoid dealing directly with its main characters? Should this thrilling look into Janeway’s staff management philosophy have been a two-parter? Is “Good Shepherd” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?

WRASSLIN’ COURT convenes to bring you all the high-flyin’, hard-hittin’, bone-crunchin’ action of what is arguably Season 6’s most boring episode! Will Icheb’s newly found parents put his future in a figure-four leglock? Can Seven of Nine take their nefarious (yet well-obscured) plans to Suplex City? Will Tom hit Neelix with that Sweet Chin Music and send him flying out the airlock? It’s time for Eternal Grapplehug Wrestling, and the in-ring action will answer one big question: Is "Child’s Play" GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?

After striking out with holograms, malicious aliens, and holographic cows, Harry Kim decides to try dating the undead! Can his Academy crush be salvaged from her new life as a corpse-recycling alien with great makeup? Will their rekindled love create yet another diplomatic incident for Voyager? Is “Ashes to Ashes” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?

Voyager makes a regrettable return to Fair Haven in an adventure that simultaneously strains the limits of holographic technology, audience credulity, and human compassion. Will Tom and Harry be burned as warlocks, as we always suspected they might? Will Janeway’s digital boyfriend lead the NPC revolution? Will Star Trek writers ever leave the Irish alone? Is “Spirit Folk” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?

Chakotay & chakompany are kidnapped and held hostage by a Borg youth group on the hunt for a new deflector array! Can Harry pull off a daring rescue from within the derelict Cube? Can Seven muster enough parental authority to get these adolescent killing machines under control before Janeway resorts to biological warfare? Will Neelix have to open a Hot Topic in cargo bay 7 to placate the moody Borg teens? Is “Collective” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?