After being kidnapped and conscripted into a pay-per-view space kickboxing league, Seven of Nine has no choice but to become the most electrifying drone in sports entertainment! Can she layeth the smacketh down long enough to keep Tuvok (and herself) alive? Can Acting Captain Chakotay teach Penk (The Great Jeffery Combs) to know his role and/or shut his mouth? Will the Space Court smell what the writers were cookin’? Is “Tsunkatse” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?

Tom, Chakotay, Harry, and Neelix return from an away mission with horrifying memories of atrocities that they maybe, almost probably, did not commit. Can the crew unravel the mystery behind the galaxy’s most aggressive public monument? Will Tom successfully douse his trauma in beer and cartoons? Is “Memorial” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?

After becoming an overnight musical sensation on Planet Jerkwad, the Doctor shockingly decides he prefers adulation over casual disrespect! How they gonna keep him down on the metaphorical farm now that he’s had a taste of fame? Can Janeway crush his dreams in time to save the crew from Chief Medical Officer Tom Paris? Does this finally satisfy the “vocal performance opportunities” clause in Picardo’s contract? Is “Virtuoso” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?

Voyager gets becalmed over a planet with a temporal compression phenomena, leading the planet’s primitive civilization to make a highly questionable choice in personal lord and savior! How will Janeway respond to her new role as angry sky god? Can the crew escape orbit before their worshippers become violently secular? Is “Blink of an Eye” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?

Tom Paris lures the entire crew into his “Irish Pub in Alpharetta, Georgia” Sims 4 holo-mod. Janeway shocks herself by getting, uh, a little too into the game. It’s (kind of) the exploration of sexy social holo-norms we’ve long awaited! Can the good Captain “Katie O’Clare” reconcile her need to maintain control with her need to not be lonely all the time? Is it possible that we learn a little too much about what Janeway wants in a romantic partner? Is “Fair Haven” GOOD... or is it GARBAGE?

Men will literally create a micro-wormhole to establish a quantum communications link with a lost starship instead of going to therapy. Can Voyager’s most unlikely TNG guest star bring words of hope to the best friends he’s never met? Can Kate Mulgrew win an Academy Award for a UPN show? Is “Pathfinder” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?

Greetings, Tarnished. Queen Annika Hansen the Seventernal has plunged her mind into the ever-flowing river of Accursed Knowledge, and her thirst for clarity has been slaked instead with the nectar of madness. Harken the Noble Triumvirate of Barking Fools as they face podcast death again and again in their quest to answer the Elden Question: Is “The Voyager Conspiracy” a shimmering falcon… or is it nothing more than the fading whisper of the fire as the ashes fall cold?

Against her better judgment, Seven gets roped into Chakotay’s nerdy anthropology hobby! Will joining an away mission to recover a pre-WW3 space vessel from the belly of a roving subspace phenomenon help her discover her love of aerospace history? Was Zephraim Cochran just some first-contact also-ran whose only notable contribution was inventing warp drive? Will this episode be one giant leap for Season 6? Is “One Small Step” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?

Seven learns the dangers of mashing buttons in space when she accidentally awakens a long-dormant race of subspace raiders! Can Voyager prevent them from going back to their pillaging ways? Will Seven face the wrath of Janeway’s chiding finger wag? Why is Naomi Wildman in this episode? Where is her mother? Is “Dragon’s Teeth” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?

An alien attack aboard the Delta Flyer leaves Tuvok recovering from a tragic case of Thinking Neelix is an OK Guy! Can he recover before Neelix talks him into a bro’s weekend on Gatlinburg VI? Is there such a thing as true self, or are we simply just what we are at any given moment? Should Tuvok be worried that no one seems to miss the old him all that much? Is “Riddles” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?