The Pitch-off Project

Megan and Trevor base movies around the location of a derelict warehouse full of old ratty wigs that we found. Megan skirts the child labour laws. Trevor deals with an infinitely expanding cast. As with all movies, it all comes down to marketing.

We need a movie with the tag line “They have 48 hours… to create a lifetime of memories,” and Mary and Andrew are up to the challenge. Mary needs to inspire a sympathetic view of the elderly and puffer fish. Andrew has difficulty with the visual representation of coding. The winner is selected through a rigorously scientific process, give or take a Madea.

Inspired by a line from last month’s episode, Anthony Botelho and Kayla Whelan pitch movies with the title I Have Tasted Vegan Blood. Anthony reacquaints us with a forgotten classic. Kayla subverts expectations with her casting. In a surprising twist ending, Josef actually picks the winner based on the content of the discussions.

Grace and Julia are tasked with rebooting Scooby Doo with an R rating. Grace answers the age-old question “What are Scooby Snacks, really?” Julia invents a new sensory experience. Like all movies, the greenlight comes after a thorough calculation of projected earnings and market research. Ka-ching!

Kris and Hayden put a new spin on the iconic film franchise. Kris devises new ways to torture our hero. Hayden pitches 24 movies in the space of one. We’ll all have to check our privilege to find out who wins!

Colin and Saba deliver conceptually similar biopic premises. Colin must decide how many characters he will play himself. Saba reveals a dark secret about a Hollywood A-lister. Which contestant will have the creativity and the guts to get the win?

Alison and Becka compete to create The Great Canadian Movie. Alison sets a space movie in Manitoba. Becka spends a shocking amount of her time describing Canadian sex acts. Canadian nomenclature might be the deciding factor.

Nathan and Lauren flip the flop that was Waterworld. Nathan crams in too many C’s. Lauren thinks twice about a genocide. In the end, Josef decides that puns can be pretty funny.

Aley and Hayden try to fit Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Jessica Walter into equal-sized leading roles. WHO ARE MIKE? WHAT IS NEZROUGE? The winner could be determined by the presence of hives!

Katie and Adam cash in on the sexting craze. Brooke Shields faces her legacy. A female protagonist must change her name. It all comes (or cums) down to spelling.