The Pitch-off Project

Clare Blackwood and Ryan F. Hughes unleash the monsters within to create iconic new Universal-style movie monsters. Clare plans a massively awful onscreen kiss. Ryan gets cagey about a Dracula. And in the end, as is so often the case in Hollywood, it all comes down to the branding possibilities of the franchise.

Josef and Leete are alone in the boardroom answering your listener questions and doing some pitching of their own.

We’re back in the boardroom with our Executive Marketing Guru, Jessica Fife. This time, we’re marketing the Grace Smith, Hayden Finkelshtain co-production Don’t Tell Daddy: Meow. Our marketing strategy touches on Peter Dinklage, hot, fit young guys and credit card scanners.

We’re keeping mum as Hayden Finkelshtain and Grace Smith pitch their movies based on the title Don’t Tell Daddy. Hayden explains to the boardroom how sexy things happen. Grace makes Hayden lose his fucking mind. And in the end, the only rule is: There are no rules.

Josef and Leete are alone in the boardroom answering listener questions on the end of Inception, romantic subplots and Alopecia Jerry. Followed by a lightning round of movie pitches titled: Over, Sideways and Under; Acorn: the Story of Oak; A Hundred Bad Guys With Swords; Make Like a Tree and Love; All I Gotta Do Is Jump; and The Legend of Hardwood Jones.

After a brief announcement from your favorite movie execs, we’re in the boardroom for another marketing mix with our Executive Marketing Guru. This week, we’re working on Jimmer Lowe’s movie Orlando’s Finest. Our marketing strategy touches on shot-for-shot remakes, Paul Dano and the Netflix home screen.

Natasha Safarian and Jimmer Lowe put on their mittens and create movies with the subtitle They Bloom in Winter. Natasha lays all her millennial cards on the table. A frustrated Jimmer gives us a minute-by-minute breakdown of his movie. And in the end, you gotta make the first one before you make the second one.

Josef and Leete are alone in the boardroom answering listener questions on pubic hair, angry characters, beer sponsorships and billionaires. Followed by a lightning round of movie pitches titled: Younicorn, Vampire-in-law, Moby Dick 2: Dicks Out!, Hot Garbage, Share and Share a… Love? and A Dog Called Splot.

We’re in the boardroom for another marketing mix with our Executive Marketing Guru. This week, we’re working on Connor Ferris’s movie PreFabulous. Our marketing strategy touches on Trojan condoms, virtue signalling and The Emoji Movie 2.

Jessalyn Ferguson and Connor Ferris let it all hang out when they pitch movies in which Channing Tatum will finally do full frontal. Jessalyn takes all the parts that nobody else could play. Connor educates the execs on what the young people are doing nowadays. And every once in a while in Hollywood, we get to make a deal where everyone’s a winner.