The Pitch

What is this, why does it exist, how did it get approved, and who bought it? No Rules: Get Phat isn't tied to any cartoon, even though it looks like it should be. There's no movie, no novelty song, no toy. It just... is. Let's try to unravel this mystery together, though I gotta tell you that we don't get very far before we start talking about gym class.

Your car is the only safe place. Forget about it.

The dirtboys are back with, well, here we go.

Watch this.

Kris and Kole talk about moderation, valuable fluids, and parasites.

ALSO: Shirley Temple desires. The middle. Too much news. Every house comes with Encino Man. Deer semen is very valuable. Osama Bin Laden’s entertainment collection. Sources, methods, triangulation, and crazy parasites. The zone defense.

It's time to learn about the virus that makes you a vampire, and turns sasquatches invisible.

A baby's gotta do what a baby's gotta do, but we really wish they wouldn't.

Hey everyone! Welcome to the last season of X-Men The Animated Series. It's...not good y'all. These first two episodes, The Fifth Horseman and Jubilee's Fairytale Theater, are some of the weirdest shit we've ever seen. Not just weird X-Men episodes, but across all media. I don't even want to describe them to be honest. The first one is all about Apoclaypse and is sorta racist, and the second one is so weird and bad I kind of like it? I don't even know.