The Pod Universe with Dylan & Dalton

Hell has broken loose in the Dark Universe, and we could really use some levity — both there and in the real world! Fear not, for our heroes may be dead, but at least there's, uh, these guys. Time to meet Dark Universe MYSTERY MEN! For the first time, the Didactic Mr. Dylan has (mostly) stepped off his political soapbox to deliver a pure action-adventure romp whose primary objective is to show the fans at home a good time.

Hear how Dylan took his mission to create some frivilous fan-service way too seriously and wrote a massive tome that had to be cut almost in half to make it to air.

PLUS: A clip from our latest bonus episode, in which D&D workshop a Dark Universe version of Sondheim's "Into the Woods."

TIMESTAMPS

00:00:00 - Start 00:06:03 - Fan Expectations 00:14:24 - Act One 00:40:13 - Discussion 00:45:11 - Act Two Part One 01:07:54 - Discussion 01:13:41 - Act Two Part Two 01:29:37 - Discussion 01:37:07 - Act Three 02:10:56 - Mid-Credits Scene 02:12:27 - Post-Credits Scene 02:13:44 - Discussion

Author, journalist, and co-host of the wrestling podcast Tights and Fights Lindsey Kelk joins Dylan & Dalton to revisit a cringey teen-targeted dark fantasy from 2006 — The Covenant, starring current Oscar-nominee Sebastian Stan! What makes this film so memorably bad, and how will Lindsey reimagine it into something worthy of our Dark Universe?

Plus: Lindsey tells us about her latest novel, The Bell Witches, a YA/crossover fantasy with some very interesting (and entirely accidental) parallels to this week's movie! 

AND THAT'S NOT ALL! Before we sign off for this week, Dylan's prepared a special teaser for his next canon pitch, Mystery Men!

Our podcast partner for this episode is not a podcast, but a novel, written by AYADU cast member Ella Dawson! Check out her new romance novel, But How Are You Really? available now in print, e-book, and audio formats.

TIMESTAMPS 00:00:00 - Intro and meeting our guest, Lindsey Kelk! 00:05:42 - Breaking The Covenant (2006) 00:40:59 - Quick break for Ella Dawson to talk about But How Are You Really? 00:41:49 - Workshopping Lindsey's pitch for a prestige TV reboot of The Covenant 01:35:15 - Lindsey Kelk tells us about The Bell Witches 01:41:31 - A teaser for our next episode, Mystery Men

2025 kicks off Big, Old, and Dark with Dalton's first solo pitch of the season! It's a modern twist on gothic horror, based on a 1928 novel by J.B. Priestley and a James Whale Universal horror classic that was almost lost forever. How will Dalton reimagine this spooky tale to fit into the HELL ON EARTH era of our ongoing Dark Universe?

We'll be real with you - this is a heavy episode, so we've included a trigger warning section that you can skip to before proceeding to the script reading. Listeners sensitive to depictions of sexual assault or trans characters in mortal peril may want to visit the timestamp below before proceeding into the episode.

02:15:26 - Trigger Warnings (SPOILERS!)

This week's episode is brought to you by our Patreon, where we've posted the uninterrupted and unabridged reading of Dalton's script, which was just too plain long to keep in this episode. Also, this month on Are You Afraid of Dylan & Dalton? we pitched a Dark Universe take on the Disney classic The Parent Trap! Enjoy a peek during this episode's intermission and start a 7-day free trial at Patreon.com/DarkUniversePod. 

TIMESTAMPS 00:00:00 - Start 00:06:43 - Fan Expectations 00:10:05 - Dalton’s Approach 00:15:54 - Trigger Warning Warning 00:17:21 - Episode Format 00:19:04 - Director Choice 00:20:55 - Act One 00:53:19 - Discussion 01:04:24 - Act Two Part One 01:28:11 - Discussion 01:38:09 - Act Two Part Two 01:52:48 - Discussion 01:57:36 - Act Three 02:15:26 - Trigger Warnings (SPOILERS!) 02:17:09 - Discussion

ED. NOTE: At 5:04 in this episode, Dylan says that National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is "not good" and that he "watched it for Dalton," only laughing "one time." However, if you check Dylan's Letterboxd review from last year, he ADMITS he only watched the first half hour before tapping out. That, in this reporter's opinion, does not count as watching the film and I move that his comments be stricken from the record. -Dalton

It's that time of year again, the time when we take a break from punishing our beloved characters and let them enjoy a nice, low-stakes holiday adventure. What do we have in store for the Dark Legion this time? Will they face another mythical Christmas creature? Will we riff on another time-honored holiday classic?

You'll never guess.

Special thanks to our voice cast: Kendra Wells, Ella Dawson, Patrick Gill, Gita Jackson, Jo Kroger, Rachel Millman, Branson Reese, Steph Salo, and Joe Stando.

This episode is brought to you by the new EP from Dalton's insane side-project, The B-69s, and their new EP brat but it's in the style of the B-52s so it's not, available for free on BandCamp and wherever you stream music!

TIMESTAMPS 00:00:00 - Start 00:07:18 - Fan Expectations 00:18:23 - Another Dark Universe Holiday Special 01:14:45 - Discussion 01:43:52 - Fireside 01:47:16 - This Christmas Is Yours

After two years of plotting and discussing totally imaginary films and television shows, isn't it about time we got real?!?! Theme park journalist Alicia Stella of Orlando ParkStop joins us to discuss the upcoming Dark Universe land at Universal Studios: Epic Universe in Orlando Florida. Learn how she got the scoop about the Dracula, Frankenstein, and Wolf Man themed rides and attractions. Then, hear her, Dalton, and Dylan pitch their own ideas for Dark Universe rides that could incorporate the podcast's expansive canon.

Our partner podcast for this episode springs from our very own listenership and format! Has to Do With Spider-Man, I Think? gives the AYADU treatment to the floundering Sony Pictures Universe of Marvel Movies, pitching new installments of the film franchise that, despite being a terrible idea, apparently can't be killed.

TIMESTAMPS 00:00:00 - Opening bits 00:02:17 - Introducing our guest, Alicia Stella 00:07:21 - A history of the Dark Universe park concept 00:22:22 - Alicia’s Universal Monsters credentials 00:26:42 - The real rides and attractions of the Dark Universe 00:46:39 - Partner podcast ad: Has to Do With Spider-Man, I Think? 00:48:55 - Alicia pitches her Frankenstein Haunted Mansion ride 00:55:55 - Dylan pitches his Phantom of the Opera stunt show 01:02:03 - Dalton pitches their Beneath the Black Lagoon coaster 01:12:19 - Dylan pitches his The Mummy: Heaven’s Gate coaster 01:17:28 - Dalton pitches their Invisible Chef restaurant 01:21:39 - Alicia plugs her stuff! 01:24:06 - Patron acknowledgement

Dark Legion: Death's Door unleashed Hell on Earth. Now, Dylan & Dalton are exploring their universe's terrifying new status quo with a season of standalone stories packed with new (read: expendable) characters. First up, Dylan is taking a swing at a Dark Universe reimagining of one of the most important horror films of all time: Night of the Living Dead. The last version of this script was killed before it went to air. Can Dylan pull off a resurrection?

Our partner podcast for this episode is Your Favorite Bad Movie Podcast, the show that dares to ask "If this movie is so bad, why do you like it so much?" Hosts Chris, Anna, and Greg confront guests about their own personal favorite bad movies, including AYADU's own Dylan Roth and his beloved The Fast & the Furious: Tokyo Drift!

TIMESTAMPS 00:00:00 - Start 00:08:17 - Fan Expectations 00:15:37 - Director Choice 00:17:17 - Prologue 00:29:02 - Discussion 00:33:23 - Act One 00:55:10 - Discussion/Fight! 01:06:56 - Act Two, Part One 01:17:46 - Discussion 01:21:52 - Act Two, Part Two 01:33:02 - Discussion 01:53:48 - Act Three 01:59:52 - Discussion 02:02:22 - Act Three Continued 02:17:17 - Post-Credits Scene 02:18:08 - Discussion

Dylan needed an extra week to get his Night of the Living Dead script up to code, so as a consolation we're releasing this month's bonus episode to the main feed, plus we're making the video version available to all paid subscribers.

Dalton Deschain & Dylan Roth answer a challenge from Studio Executive Birras to come up with a Dark Universe version of the 1977 comedy Smokey & the Bandit! To both of their surprise, this turns out to be their favorite Studio Mandate pitch yet.

PLUS: Dalton muddles through Star Trek: Generations, Dylan conjures up Memories of Murder, and they both stress over the US presidential election.

Get every episode of Are You Afraid of Dylan & Dalton? every month by joining our community at Patreon.com/DylanAndDalton. Thanks for your support!

TIMESTAMPS

00:00:00 - Intro, and SURPRISE it's a bonus episode! 00:06:02 - Bev Check! and election anxiety 00:09:41 - Looking at 1977's Smokey & the Bandit 00:25:50 - Pitching our Smokey remake 00:36:50 - Casting our Smokey & the Bandit 00:44:27 - Patron acknowledgement 00:45:29 - Treks Education - Star Trek: Generations 01:07:13 - The Dalterion Collection: Memories of Murder

It's the crossover nobody asked for, least of all Dylan & Dalton! And yet, in this FULL VIDEO, SEASON 4 premiere of AYADU, guest Abe Goldfarb (Beetlejuice: The Musical, First Time Caller) sells our hosts on a Suicide Squad-style romp in which Otis and Baby Firefly bring their bloodlust into the Dark Universe's new status quo!

This episode is available as a video podcast on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/zE-jsrRBnH8

You can find our guest Abe Goldfarb across social media, at either abegoldfarb on Twitter and Bluesky or abrahamgoldfarb on Instagram! His film "First Time Caller" is now streaming on Tubi, Vudu, and Prime Video.

Join the Dark Legion starting $5/mo at dylananddalton.patreon.com, and get access to our lovely Discord community and our monthly bonus podcast! Benefits at higher tiers include the video version of the bonus pod, shout-outs on the air, and the ability to pick the topic of a future bonus pod pitch! Comment below to let us know what you think of the new video format, why doncha?

TIMESTAMPS 00:00:00 - Opening banter! 00:03:30 - Introducing our guest, Abe Goldfarb 00:08:12 - Entering the House of 1000 Corpses 00:39:47 - Abe waxes rhapsodical about the Universal Monsters 00:49:31 - Patron acknowledgement 00:50:30 - A little sample of the latest bonus episode 00:51:42 - Abe pitches his DU/Fireflies crossover 01:27:15 - Plugs!

Here it is at last: The complete story break conversation in which Dylan & Dalton determined when, how, and why the Dark Legion would meet their terrible fates in Dark Legion: Death's Door! How much did our storytellers know before they broke ground on their sadistic sequel? How much of their plans changed between this initial discussion and the final draft? Have they let any clues or crumbs slip through about the grand finale they've got planned in Dark Legion: Hell on Earth? Listen and find out!

PLUS: A track from Bodies for the Geek Pit, Pt. 1, the new EP by Dalton Deschain & the Traveling Show! Let the soothing love song "Supernova" soothe your soul halfway through our depressing conversation. (Starts at 00:47:41)

WHO WILL SURVIVE?

Part One of the Phase Three finale put our heroes — and our audience — through Hell. The stakes are higher than ever. What fate awaits the Dark Legion?

Our partner podcast this month isn't a podcast, but an honest to god book, by our friend and voice of Dr. Jennifer Halsey — Ella Dawson! Check out But How Are You, Really? wherever books or audiobooks are found.

GUEST CAST (watch out for spoilers!) Ella Dawson as Dr. Jennifer Halsey Gita Jackson as Countess Marya Zaleska merritt k. as Adelaide Van Helsing Sarah Norcross as Demi Lavelle Frankie Starker as Princess Ahmanet Kendra Wells as Hunter Marin

TIMESTAMPS

00:00:00 - Start 00:04:45 - Act Two, Part Two 00:32:41 - Discussion 00:38:34 - Act Two Continued 00:45:42 - Discussion 00:49:11 - Act Two Continued 00:56:56 - Discussion 01:09:46 - Act Three 01:37:17 - Discussion 01:38:06 - Post-Credits Scene 01:40:14 - Discussion