Sometimes you need protection: Protection from your older spouse, protection from the aliens that are always trying to abduct you, and most importantly protection from the voices in your head. This week in the podcast we talk about a "crotch pistol", frosty the escaped convict, and some unrepentant cake-makers. It's time to protect yourself. Better keester a weapon and go in hot! Enjoy.

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Quiz time!

The cops are coming to arrest you. You only have a moment before they are on your porch. What do you do?

A) Kiss your girlfriend goodbye, put on a clean shirt and answer the door.

B) Fill the dog bowl with food and call your lawyer.

C) Strip naked and climb up on the roof.

(The answer is always C.) Listen to the play by play, learn where that happened and more on this week's Podcast of Billionaires. Enjoy!

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I hope you are enjoying your holidays and some well deserved rest and relaxation, time with family and friends, and good food. Let's do a quick end of the year quiz:

A man in Salem, Oregon was tasered multiple times and finally subdued by 15 police officers from three different counties. Was he...

A) Trying to rob a convenience store while armed?

B) Engaged in a domestic dispute with both his wife and his girlfriend?

C) Pleasuring himself furiously at a road-side bar and grill?

Find out more on this week's special holiday edition of the Podcast of Billionaires. ENJOY!

www.podcastofbillionaires.com

Pop quiz - You've just applied for a new job at a retail store. What do you do next?

A) Send a thank you note to the manager.

B) Call your references and give them a heads up.

C) Shoplift from the store on your way out, get called back for a second interview, and get arrested by the cops when you actually show up...

I'm not going to apologize for this week's episode. Bad decisions were made, and there was a lot of cussing. However we did get to learn about a brilliant man with an incendiary plan to extract revenge for the bug bites. We also learn about the wimpiest police officer in all of Italy. Work is overrated, and so is the burglar who got stuck in a window trying to ply his trade, we talk about all these things and more on this week's show!

show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com

That kid is eating the crayons again. What do you do?

A) give him a napkin...

B) tell him to stop...

C) dip them in hot sauce...

(Hint: You are a teacher and the kid has autism.)

This isn't the only bad decision that happened over the last two weeks, it's merely the first of many we discuss in this week's episode of the Podcast of Billionaires.

Enjoy!

Your significant other comes home drunk at one-thirty in the morning and vomits on your bed. Do you?

a) Dress up like Batman and rob the neighbor's house?

b) Bake him a pizza?

c) feed him to a moose-eating shark

Find out which answer is correct on this week's episode!

show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com

Stealth Operations: They can’t hurt you if they can’t see you.

Plan A) Meet up with a strange man you met online and get car & pants jacked.

Plan B) Steal your neighbor’s pool floatie and hump it. (Seven Times…)

Plan C) Get arrested.

Wouldn’t you rather listen to the Podcast of Billionaires instead?

www.podcastofbillionaires.com

Everyone has a neighbor or two, and for the most part they aren't that bad. In this weeks show however, we learn about a neighbor or two who are just the worst. Including but not limited to the:

A) Strip club owner who erects a $7000 statue of a hand flipping off his neighbors

B) A guy who calls 911 twice on his neighbors for not drinking with him

C) A woman who lights her clothes on fire (endangering the neighbor's baby) because she can't find her cell phone

D) All of the above...

Enjoy the show!

show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com

You are protesting the Russian police state. Do you...

A) Write a letter to President Putin.

B) Call your local police station and ask them to ease up a bit.

C) Nail your testes to the cobblestones in Red Square.

This week in the Podcast of Billionaires, we go full out and learn about the world's least effective protest. We also watch from the sidelines as Batman Suparman is sentenced to 2 years in jail. We learn about the horizontal shower and the snake massage. Syd D joins us for an amazing spin through the wobbly lines painted on this week's Podcast of Billionaires. Enjoy!

www.podcastofbillionaires.com

Who is more badass?

A) an 80 year old Russian man

B) an entire village of Canadians? 

This week on the show we release the bears and let nature take its course. We also have some bad decisions where people do some really dumb things. One guy loses his mind, and the other guy loses his manhood. It's pretty rough. We have a very special listener call in and much much more. Enjoy!

show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com