We're all so used to the image of a leader as someone authoritative, dominant, and at times larger than life. But unlike this common stereotype, the most effective leaders all share one crucial quality: they are all emotionally intelligent.

Learning how to be emotionally intelligent is the key to becoming an effective leader. It's neither an event nor a static destination. It's a lifelong process and journey that will guide every aspect of your life toward success.

In this episode, Tim delves into the power of emotional intelligence. He introduces the key components of emotional intelligence and how they all come together. He also shares tips and strategies to become a better person and a more effective leader. Tim touches on the practical and spiritual aspects of becoming an emotionally intelligent leader.

Tune in to this episode to embark on the ongoing journey of improving your emotional intelligence!

3 reasons to Listen:

1. Understand what emotional intelligence means.
2. Gain a holistic view of the components that make up emotional intelligence.
3. Discover why being a better leader involves being emotionally intelligent.

Resources

• ChatGPT
• Wisdom app
• Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®)
• DISC Personality Test
• StrengthsFinder
• Enneagram Personality Test
• Coach: A Story of Success Redefined by Tim Winders
• Listen to more episodes and highlights on Seek Go Create. You can also visit our YouTube for full-length episodes and short clips from each episode.

Episode Highlights[02:02] What is Emotional Intelligence?

• Emotional intelligence is a critical life skill everyone needs to learn. It's something we must examine and redefine all the time.
• Emotional intelligence involves seeing the bigger picture.
• Emotionally intelligent people can recognize and understand their emotions.
• We use emotional intelligence to guide our thinking and behavior—it’s about using wisdom.

[05:26] “It’s (emotional intelligence) not just about us. It's not just about others. It's how that integrates.” - Click Here To Tweet This[06:11] Emotionally Intelligent Leadership

• Avoid the attitude and mindset of refusing to change because “you’re just the way you are.”
• There are places where an uncompromising mindset can be effective, but these are extremely limited.
• You can always change and adjust how you act. Emotional intelligence is a vital but often overlooked aspect of leadership.

[06:58] “Don't be that person. Don't be that guy. Don't be that girl. Don't be that leader that basically says, ‘It's my way or the highway.’” - Click Here To Tweet This[08:14] How We are Built

• The three things that make us humans are the spirit, soul, and body.
• The body is our physical aspect. The spirit is our spiritual aspect. The soul is our mind, will, and emotions.
• Our soul controls a lot of what we feel in our bodies.

[10:52] #1: Understand How All the Components Fit Together

• The key components of emotional intelligence are self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.
• All these components are powerful in themselves and impact how we interact. But emotional intelligence is how they all come and fit together.
• Uncovering these layers will help us become more effective communicators and then leaders. You can't be an effective leader without being an effective communicator.
• Becoming emotionally intelligent is a constant, lifelong process.

[11:49] "All of those fit together—self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. These components can help us—you, me—become more aware of our own emotions and the emotions of others." - Click Here To Tweet This[14:26] #2: Develop Self-Awareness

• Self-awareness involves recognizing your emotions and thoughts and understanding how they influence behavior.
• Like a pressure cooker, once pressure builds in our souls, it becomes difficult to see things clearly. Thus, we have to relieve this pressure.
• Some healthy tips to relieve pressure are journaling, spending time in prayer, and being quiet and still.
• You can also take personality assessments and get a coach.
• Self-awareness is helpful in decision-making and dealing with relationships.

[24:45] #3: Practice Self-Regulation

• Self-regulation is managing your emotions and behavior. It allows us to remain calm and composed in the face of challenges.
• It's about having control, not being stifling. There are times when it's beneficial to show some degree of emotion.
• We are all created for a specific reason. That's why we have unique strengths and weaknesses.
• Some strategies for self-regulation are setting boundaries, managing stress, mindfulness, quiet time, and prayer.

[28:47] “We are all created for a certain reason. I have strengths. You have strengths. We also have some things that might be weaknesses.” - Click Here To Tweet This[33:48] #4: Cultivate Empathy

• Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s something we all need in the world we’re in today.
• It helps us build trust and create a positive work culture. A team or a group of people devoid of empathy is one that likely won't last.
• Some tools for cultivating empathy are active listening and practicing compassion.

[39:35] #5: Build Strong Relationships

• All the previous strategies help with building strong relationships.
• Social skills are the ability to interact effectively with others. It's a central aspect of leadership.
• Make it a lifelong quest to improve your social skills. Working on your social skills will change slightly with age, maturity, and generation.
• Some strategies for building relationships are: interacting with people and leaving your comfort zone.
• The ability to have social skills is the glue that holds most relationships together.

[44:59] #6: Be a Continuous Learner

• Continuous learning is the ongoing process of acquiring new knowledge and skills.
• Growth keeps us open to new ideas and perspectives.
• The growth mindset is a muscle you need to keep growing and working on.
• You can also read, attend workshops and training, and find a coach or a mentor.
• It’s powerful to break destructive habits and ruts in our life.

[48:18] #7: Lead by Example

• Leading by example is modeling the behavior and values that align with your faith.
• There will be a lot of battles going on inside you if your values don't align with your emotional intelligence. These conflicts will impact all the other components.
• Integrity is having your words and actions in alignment and not being a hypocrite. 
• Humility requires understanding that you don't know everything. Another essential value is admitting when you're wrong.
• We must constantly remind ourselves of who we are—spirit, soul, and body. Having spiritual and accountability groups help us stay grounded.

[52:12] “Leading by example is one of the best ways that we can improve our leadership skills and our relationships, especially in the areas of leadership, business, and in ministry.” - Click Here To Tweet This[52:23] Fruits of the Spirit

• Demonstrating emotional intelligence displays the manifestation of the fruits of the Holy Spirit.
• These fruits are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. 

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To growing and becoming all we are created to be,

Tim

Mentioned in this episode:

Stop Reacting, Start Leading: Free 30-Minute Coaching Call

Are you leading with strategy or just reacting to the daily chaos? If you're feeling stuck, constantly putting out fires, and struggling to focus on the big picture, it’s time to take control. I’m offering a FREE 30-minute coaching call to help you shift from reactive to proactive leadership with clear, actionable strategies. Whether you’re facing new challenges or just need a reset, this call will give you clarity and direction. Book your free coaching call now by clicking the link in the show notes or visiting TimWinders.com/coaching.

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