The Problem With Perfect

This summer’s surprise blockbuster, the Barbie Movie, included a rant that
has touched a nerve with women of all ages. Some say, “I’ve never felt so heard.” Others remark, “It’s about dang time.”

The rant speaks to the significant emphasis on body image. Do women still
struggle with expectations to have a perfect 36-24-36 figure even though those
measurements are based on a doll? It also mentions the business world, saying be a boss but don’t be bossy; know your worth but don’t ask for money; be successful but not too determined, confident, or threatening. 

So, how does a woman succeed in business without being criticized for leadership skills that are commendable in men but discouraged in women?

And as the holidays approach, many women will be adding baking, decorating, party planning, gift buying, entertaining, and exhaustion to their already over-booked, challenging, stress-filled lives as wives, mothers, and co-workers. 

We’re here today to talk about all of this and more as Robin and Special Guest Kate Randolph weigh in on womanhood in 2023. 

Special Guest:
Kate Randolph is 46, a wife, mother of two teenage boys, dog mom, fitness
enthusiast, nurse, and the Regional Director of Patient Safety and Quality for a
national healthcare organization. She is also Denise's amazing daughter.

Show Notes:
To watch the Barbie Movie monologue we discuss, go to:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsY9c9WodcE.

Marriage is hard.

But what is it about the second or third chapter of life that increases the risk of marital discord and divorce? It's a question worth asking since "gray divorce" is escalating at surprising rates with the aging of baby boomers. Currently, more than 1 in 3 people who divorce in the US are older than 50, and the divorce rate for those 65+ continues to increase exponentially, while others in younger age groups are divorcing at a lesser rate.

Are there signs that indicate a relationship is in critical condition? Are there ways to improve a long-term relationship? And is there hope for a brighter tomorrow?

Join us for this important episode as we discuss these questions and more with MSW Kim Oliver, 


Special Guest: Kim Oliver. 
Kim has a master's degree in Social Work from the University of Missouri. For the past 20-plus years, Kim has been in private practice in Columbia, Missouri. In addition to her counseling practice, Kim is also a certified life coach. Today, we are excited to have Kim with us to discuss marriage in the second chapter of life. Her intensive couples approach grounded in the Gottman Method is successful in improving communication between couples and provides many tools to support and strengthen marriages.

by John M. Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Rachel Carlton Abrams

Yes, Jesus told us to love one another, but he never met Uncle Harold!

What is it about the holidays and families that often result in angst and conflict? One day a year, maybe two, families gather to celebrate with folks who may seem more like strangers than relatives. Add a dash of politics, religion, and a few alcoholic beverages, and you may have a real hootenanny on your hands.

Just in time for the holiday season, Lauren Eisleban, a frequent guest and favorite therapist, joins us to discuss the fine art of boundary setting with family members. What is a boundary and is there a right or wrong way to approach the subject? What is it about setting boundaries with families that is so conflictual? Are there different types of boundaries?

Join us for this episode and maybe even send it to Uncle Harold too.

Special Guest:
Lauren Eisleben is a LPC in Columbia, MO where she counsels individuals, couples, families, and groups. Lauren is also a wife and mom and knows that life is hard - which is why she wants her clients to know they are not alone. We love it when she shares her wisdom and care for others on the podcast. 

Show Notes:
Boundary Books by Henry Cloud and John Townsend:

Boundaries 

Boundaries in Dating

Boundaries in Marriage

Boundaries with Kids

Boundaries with Teens

Boundaries Bible study workbook

Boundaries in the Workplace

Ten Ways to Set Boundaries With Difficult Family Members https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/blog/set-boundaries-for-difficult-family-members/

Families come in all shapes and sizes. None of them are perfect, but some are faced with more challenges than others.

This week we are discussing Grandfamilies, the families with the grandparents parenting their grandchildren. The statistics on Grandfamilies are thought-provoking: 

• 2.3M grandparents are responsible for their grandchildren via “kinship care”
• Approximately 1M grandparents raising grandchildren are 60 years of age or older, with the average age being 67
• One-third of grandchildren living with grandparents via kinship care are younger than 6 years old

These numbers tell us that Grandfamilies live in your neighborhood and ours. These families are everywhere when we open our eyes to see them. But what do these families need and where can they go to find resources? And how can we support them?

Join us for this inspiring episode as we unpack all of this and more with Leslie Navarro, the proud grandparent of Isaac, age 15, and Isaih, age 13. Leslie's story will open. your eyes to the struggles that these families face and leave you inspired by her resiliency. 

Show Notes:
Interactive map to find resources in your state and county::
https://www.grandfamilies.org/State-Fact-Sheets 

When Grandparents Are Called To Parent – Again. AARP.org/bulletin
March, 2023: Generations United: Offers a variety of information and resources for grandparents raising grandchildren.

Grandfamilies.org: Provides legal resources and policy information for grandparents raising grandchildren.

AARP Grandfamilies Guide: Offers a comprehensive guide related to seeking services.
 Includes information about how grandparents can obtain assistance from a variety of
professionals and organizations.  The website also offers a searchable listing of support
groups.

AARP Grandfamily Resources List of public and private resources for grandparents raising grandchildren.  Topics include education, childcare and children’s special needs, family challenges, finances, health, housing and safety, legal, support, and work.

For information and community for grandparents, go to: www.raisingyourgrandchildren.com 

We raise our kids praying they become independent thinkers ready to stand confident on their own two feet. But sometimes that answered prayer comes with struggles we don't see coming. 

Have you ever felt like you were walking on eggshells around your adult children? Or have you ever wished your relationship with them would be one of joy and mutual respect? Instead, it seems like you can never say the right thing, or you say too much or too little. You find yourself lying awake at night wondering how to make things better.

Join us as we tackle the difficult topic of parents and their adult children with special guest Bonnie Lyman. Bonnie is a Life Coach, mother of 5 adult children, and a podcaster and blogger. Her mission in life is to offer tools to as many mothers as possible to remove the pain in their relationship with an adult child.

The article we discuss: 3 Steps to Being Yourself in Your Relationship With Your Adult Children 

To learn more about Bonnie and her resources, go to www.Bonnielyman.com

Some of us have difficulty being in the same room with our in-laws, let alone embarking on a big project. But that's just what Stacy Reaoch and her mother-in-law, Barbara Reaoch did. Together, they authored the book entitled, Make Room for Her – Biblical Wisdom for a Healthier Relationship with Your Mother-in-law or Daughter-in-law. 

The topic is one of the most frequently requested episodes from listeners. Our discussion with Stacy will offer insight into the delicate balance of this relationship and provide recommendations for navigating this often-tumultuous familial bond. With the Bible as your guidepost and the pearls of wisdom Stacy and her mother-in-law share in their book, take heart: a healthier relationship with your mother-in-law or daughter-in-law is closer than you think!


Special Guest:
Stacy Reaoch: Stacy is a pastor's wife, momma of four kids ranging from 10 to 20, writer, and speaker. Her aim in writing is to point others to Christ through the beauty of words, application of the Bible, and the lessons she's learning in her own life. She is well-published in the areas of Christian living, ministry, motherhood, suffering, marriage, singleness, and hospitality.

Make Room for Her – Biblical Wisdom for a Healthier Relationship with Your Mother-in-law or Daughter-in-law. B& H Books (February 8, 2022).

You can follow Stacy on Instagram @stacyreaoch and find more of her writing on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/sreaoch/ or @www.stacyreaoch.com

Anxiety and self-doubt are so often the roadblocks standing between the life we want and the life we have. 

Tiffany Borst has been a psychotherapist for over 25 years and has dedicated her entire career to helping people overcome these hurdles. Meanwhile, she continued to battle them herself - which led her to discover the power of yoga and meditation in combination with talk therapy. 

Today, Tiffany is the author of Becoming Your Highest Self: A Guided Journal. This book encapsulates all that she's learned about how to use these three disciplines in tandem to help her clients and herself find the alignment with our highest self that we all desire.

Tiffany is smart and winsome and selfless in this interview, as she helps us overcome our limiting beliefs to find the peace and joy we long for. 

Special Guest: Tiffany Borst, MA, LPC, RYT 500

 Tiffany Borst is a psychotherapist, yoga instructor and meditation coach, helping people overcome anxiety, build their self-worth and create a life they love through mindful movement, meditation and self-study. She has been in private practice for more than 25 years and recently published her first book. She and her family live in Columbia, MO.

To learn more about Tiffany, her practice, resources and to order her book, go to:
https://tifborstyoga.com/

For Tiffany's guided butterfly meditation on Insight Timer, go to:
https://insighttimer.com/tifborst/guided-meditations/butterfly-meditation-for-overcoming-self-doubt

We've spent the last three years on this podcast discussing all the ways that perfection isn't possible. But then there's that one day that is perfect - the day when everything goes just as planned and it's just the way you've always dreamed it would be. 

As we welcome Rachel back to the show for this special episode, she tells us all about how her recent wedding day was pure perfection. From the planning to the unique touches, and everything in between, Rachel offers great advice that will be helpful for anyone planning a wedding. 

We also take a walk back in time and discuss our original goals for the podcast, how we know if we've been successful, and what listeners can expect moving forward!

Thanks for a GREAT four years, friends. We've learned a lot and we hope you have too. 

To see pictures from Rachel's wedding day, go to:
https://www.facebook.com/rachel.schisler.14

We all have choices about how we think and interact with those around us. In John 8, Jesus shows us how he responds to an adulterous woman who is brought before him by the religious leaders of the day. He says to them in verse 7,  "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." 

Notice Jesus didn't judge her- although being holy and righteous, he surely could have. Jesus didn't gossip about her. He didn't belittle her. He didn't shame her, or punish her.

He didn't throw stones. Instead, he caught the stones that the Pharisees wanted to hurl at her and traded them for grace.

Join us this week as we unpack this passage and ask ourselves if we are stone catchers and/or a stone throwers. Inspired by Equal Justice Initiative Founder and Author of Just Mercy Bryan Stevenson, this podcast will be both informative and challenging.

Show Notes
Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption by Bryan Stevenson

To hear the podcast mentioned in this episode:
https://katebowler.com/podcast/bryan-stevenson-love-mercy/

“Change, of any sort, requires courage.”  -Mary Anne Radmacher

Today, we’re going to be discussing change. When faced with change, how do we respond? What gets us through the transition? Who or what can we turn to when change is unexpected and unwelcome?

What about changes for the good? Even those can be difficult to navigate.

During this episode, Robin discusses a few changes she recently experienced. With wit and wisdom, she is also sharing some pearls of wisdom for those who may find themselves in unexpected change.

(As always, I am so proud of her willingness to be vulnerable and transparent. DB)

Show Notes
How To Cope With Job Loss
https://alis.alberta.ca/look-for-work/job-loss-creating-a-new-future/how-to-cope-with-job-loss

To learn more about Denise's upcoming mission trip to India:
 https://authenticlifechurch.com/india-mission-trip

To donate to Denise's mission trip, go to: https://authenticlife.breezechms.com/form/India2023

Join Denise for a fundraising dinner at Sukoon at 2700 W Bowles Ave, Suite B, Littleton, CO on Sunday evening, Sept 10.  

For more wisdom from Denise, go to her blog, Word To Live By, at https://denisebickel.com/

Episode edited by Jordan Overkamp