The Problem With Perfect

It’s the most wonderful time of the year… and the most exhausting. Between the decorating, the baking, the shopping, and the pressure to make everything magical, our souls can feel more hurried than holy. In this episode, we slow down to talk about what it really means to rest during the holidays, not just physically, but spiritually.

Drawing from The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer, The Deeply Formed Life by Rich Villodas, and the practice of Slow Living, join us as we explore how doing less will actually help us experience more: more peace, more joy, and more presence with the people (and the God) who matter most.

If you feel like you’re carrying the weight of making the holidays “perfect,” this conversation will remind you that perfection isn’t the point - presence is. You’ll walk away with practical ideas to simplify the season, breathe deeply, and rediscover the sacred rhythm of rest, even in the holiday hurry.

Show Notes:

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer

The Deeply Formed Life by Rich Villodas

Slow Living Articles:

Already Stressed About the Holidays?https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/story/2025-11-06/tips-holiday-overwhelm-stress-niro-feliciano

How to Slow Down During the Holidays              https://caitlinhoustonblog.com/how-to-slow-down-during-the-holidays/

Why Doing Nothing Intentionally is Good for Us: The Rise of the Slow Living Movement.                                           https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20240724-why-doing-nothing-intentionally-is-good-for-us-the-rise-of-the-slow-living-movement

November is often a time for giving thanks, and the 4th Yama, Brahmacharya, encourages us to be grateful for having “just enough,” and to practice “nonexcess.” We live in a world that can rob us of our time, money, and energy while we pursue better and newer and more. Brahmacharya asks us to examine our priorities and to focus on what really matters.

Are we living in communion with God? Are we sacrificing our precious time and energy in pursuit of worldly excess? Do we recognize when we have “just enough” and refrain from overindulgence?

Brahmacharya seems like the perfect Yama to practice in November. Let’s practice nonexcess in our daily lives. Let’s practice gratitude for all that we have rather than focusing on our have-nots. Let’s strive to see the divine in all people and moments. Let’s do more with less.

Show Notes:

Denise's meditation at the end of the episode:

May you rest in the space of ‘good enough.’ You are good. You are enough. You are sufficient in this moment, just as you are. You deserve goodness and kindness and hope and help.” 

‘Head to the floor, I breathe in and out, thankful for my breath and my body and gravity. Earth herself. Through this, I reveal the blessings. There are always some, sometimes many! Each day a new world to make what is possible real and fully embodied. I awaken awareness of my own influence to create kindness, depth, and love in every moment.”  

“Grant me daily the grace of gratitude. To be thankful for all my many gifts, and so be freed from artificial needs, that I might lead a joyful, simple life.” Edward Hays, OSB

The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Statistics indicate that approximately 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. Every minute in the U.S., about 20 to 24 people are physically abused by an intimate partner, amounting to more than 12 million individuals each year. Domestic violence also impacts millions of children, and the economic toll is substantial, resulting in nearly 8 million lost workdays annually in the U.S. 

 Our guest today, June Sheehan Berlinger, RN, has authored a powerful account of her personal experience with domestic violence in her book, "Rising Above the Trauma of Abuse." June is a nationally recognized expert on this issue, and her dual perspective makes her book both deeply personal and practical. 

Given the prevalence of this social issue, along with the secrecy and stigma that often surround those affected, many victims suffer in silence. June urges us to speak out and take a stand against all forms of domestic violence. By doing so, you could help save a life.

Special Guest: June Berlinger, Author and Domestic Abuse Advocate 

June Sheehan Berlinger, BSN, is a survivor, mother, nurse, writer, and public speaker. She dedicated her career to helping women. June served on Florida’s Governor’s Domestic and Sexual Violence Task Force from 1994–1997 and directed The Women’s Center at Tallahassee Memorial HealthCare for 14 years. Her pioneering work includes developing Florida’s first hospital protocol for domestic violence and FIRST STEP, a victim handbook that was distributed statewide. A four-time published author, June has trained health and mental healthcare professionals, law enforcement, and legal teams across the U.S. She lives with her husband, Tom in Denver, CO. To learn more about June, go to risingabovetrauma.net.

Resources:

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides free, 24/7 confidential help at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). 
• The National Child Traumatic Stress Network: https://www.nctsn.org/resources/public-awareness/national-domestic-violence-awareness-month
• Rising Above The Trauma of Abuse by June Sheehan Berlinger, BSN
• risingabovetrauma.net

Ever catch yourself brushing off certain behaviors the Bible would call sins because they don't seem "that bad"? In this episode, we get real about the “acceptable sins” so many of us excuse — things like anger, gossip, worry, pride, and discontentment. Drawing inspiration from Tim Keller’s book, Respectable Sins, we unpack why these habits feel so normal, how they quietly erode our peace, and what it looks like to bring them into the light with honesty and grace.

This honest, hope-filled conversation will challenge us to rethink the "little" sins that slip under the radar, and remind us that freedom isn’t found in perfection, but in surrender.

Show Notes:

Respectable Sins: Confronting the Sins We Tolerate by Tim Keller

To resource the workbook Robin refers to, go to https://thecrossingchurch.com/Resources/Read/Free%20Downloads

If you’ve ever said, “What?” more times than you’d like to admit… or if someone you love turns the TV up louder and louder, this episode is for you.

This week, we’re diving into a topic that affects millions, but is rarely discussed: hearing loss. Our guest, Dr. Julie Prutsman, has helped thousands of people find relief from tinnitus and hearing challenges. In this episode, Dr. Julie shares why she’s passionate about helping us understand how hearing health impacts every part of our lives, including our memory and emotional well-being, as well as our relationships and even our balance.

Join us as we ask the hard questions. What's the truth between hearing loss and cognitive decline? Does it cause us to be more likely to develop dementia? How common is hearing loss? When should we start getting tested? 

This conversation will open your ears to why hearing health matters more than you think.

Special guest: Dr. Julie Prutsman

The owner and founder of Sound Relief Hearing Center, Dr. Julie Prutsman has dedicated her practice to treating tinnitus, decreased sound tolerance, and related hearing health issues. She is a third-generation audiology professional, with her grandfather entering the hearing healthcare field in the 1950s. After working in her family’s practice in Colorado and Las Vegas, NV, she decided to open one of her own, focused on tinnitus.

Since beginning Sound Relief Hearing Center in December 2011, her practice has helped thousands of patients and has grown to nine offices in Colorado and Arizona. Dr. Julie Prutsman grew up in Highlands Ranch, Colorado and attended the University of Colorado – Boulder for graduate school. Her husband, Patrick, is the General Manager and co-owner of Sound Relief. They have two wonderful teenagers and in her free time, Dr. Julie loves reading, traveling, skiing, and spending time with family.

Have you ever been accused of stealing? Probably not. Yet, most of us engage in various forms of stealing every day, often without realizing it. There are many ways in which we take from others, the Earth, future generations, and even ourselves.

The third Yama, Asteya, encourages us to become aware of how our words and actions may rob others of their time, joy, or sense of self-worth. It reminds us that the Earth deserves our attention and appreciation now so that future generations can also experience its wonders. Lastly, we are prompted to consider how we steal from ourselves. We often forget that “comparison is the thief of joy,” yet we regularly diminish our own happiness by comparing or criticizing ourselves. As Oprah wisely said, “When we know better, we do better.” This embodies the essence of Asteya.

Show notes:

The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele

Do you ever feel like no matter what you do, it’s never enough? You try harder, you push yourself, you chase perfection—but all it leaves you with is exhaustion and self-criticism. What if the answer isn’t doing more, but actually being kinder to yourself?

This week, we sit down with licensed therapist and course creator Erica Thomas to talk about the radical (and practical) power of self-compassion. Erica shares her personal story of body image struggles, unpacks how diet culture keeps us stuck, and explains why self-compassion might be the missing piece in our own journeys toward peace with ourselves.

From silencing the inner critic to modeling self-kindness for our kids, this conversation is full of wisdom and practical tools we can use today.

If you’re tired of the hamster wheel of “never enough,” you don’t want to miss this episode.

Special Guest: Erica Thomas

Erica is a licensed marriage and family therapist, psychotherapist, and the creator of an online course all about self-compassion as a practical alternative to diet culture. She works with families and teens, helping people navigate body image challenges and that ever-present inner critic, with a focus on healing and acceptance. She lives in Lafayette, California and sees patients virtually. To learn more about Erica and her course, go to:

https://ericathomaslmft.com

eatingwithselflove.com 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/erica-fawn-thomas-lafayette-ca/239622

ONLINE COURSE: Heal Emotional Eating with Self-Compassion

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/heal-emotional-eating-with-self-compassion-tickets-1097694837809?aff=oddtdtcreator

There’s a saying: “Change of any sort requires courage.” Courage and bravery are essential for making lasting and effective change. While we may have goals for success, greater happiness, or fulfilling relationships, we often feel overwhelmed by the time and effort that change demands.

There is no magic formula for change; simply wishing and hoping are not enough. However, there are clear and concise steps that can increase our chances of success. With clarity, conviction, and commitment, change is indeed possible.

When we shift our mindset from doubt to determination and surround ourselves with supportive people, we begin to believe in our ability to improve and succeed. As a result, we are more likely to challenge ourselves, persevere through setbacks, and ultimately achieve our goals. Sounds like success to us!

Show Notes:

Embrace the Suck article:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-science-of-bravery/202505/embrace-the-suck-why-discomfort-builds-a-better-you

The Gift of Starting Small 

“Every great thing starts small - a tree begins as a seed, a journey begins with a single step. Don’t feel discouraged if your dream feels tiny right now. Each small effort you make is building something bigger than you can see. Trust the process and keep moving forward. Celebrate progress, even if it feels slow. One day, you will look back and realize how far you’ve come. Every step matters. Keep going, you’re building something beautiful, one piece at a time.”

Season 7 is here! 🎉 Since launching The Problem with Perfect in September 2019, we’ve released over 300 episodes and connected with listeners in 11 countries. Thank you for being part of this amazing journey!

We’re kicking off Season 7 with a conversation that applies to every relationship in your life—romantic, family, or friendship. Inspired by psychologist Mark Travers’ article “The 5 Weekday Habits of the Happiest Couples,” we’re breaking down five simple daily habits that help relationships thrive:

• Start the day with a shared routine
• Send thoughtful check-ins during the day
• Take individual reset moments
• Prioritize daily “us time”
• End the day with a connection check-in

Along the way, we share our own stories, challenges, and why these habits matter for connection, not perfection.

💡 Challenge for you this week: Choose one of these habits and practice it intentionally—whether with your spouse, a friend, or even just yourself.

Listen in as we celebrate the start of Season 7 and rediscover that the happiest relationships are built in the small, everyday moments.

Show Notes: 

To read the article in full, go to: https://www.cnbc.com/2025/07/13/psychologist-people-in-the-happiest-relationships-do-5-things-during-weekdays.html

In this episode, we continue their journey through the Yamas and Niyamas, diving into the second jewel: Satya, or truthfulness.

Join us as we reflect on what we’ve learned so far about courage, balance, boundaries, and self-love—and how those lessons prepare us to live authentically in truth. Together, we wrestle with what it means to be real instead of just nice, how to express ourselves without slipping into self-indulgence, and why truth has both a fierce weight and a freeing power.

From the challenge of setting healthy boundaries to the courage of self-expression, this conversation encourages us to ask if ourselves some tough questions. 

Join us as we explore Satya together and discover how living truthfully can bring both freedom and deeper connection.

Show Notes:

Discussion based on The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga's Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele

This month, if you'd like to join us, we will dig deeper into Satya each week.

Week 1: Observe the differences between times when you are "nice" versus "real." What were the circumstances? How did they make you feel and what were the results?

Week 2: Focus on self-expression by expressing your hopes and dreams into the external world. Act on life-giving opportunities.

Week 3: Slow it down this week and "do it right the first time" so that there are no apologies or do overs needed.

Week 4: Look at ideas and beliefs that once served you but no longer do. Are you holding onto any of these beliefs that you need to release? Free yourself of them and watch how it energizes your quest for authentic realness. 

Closing Meditation:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"