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Having a plan is good, but what about when the plan becomes restrictive and stops working for you? Changing it might sound simple but it can bring up all kinds of challenging feelings.
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We think that if we aren’t making big changes, taking bold action, if we don’t see the impact of our efforts quickly enough that means we’re not getting anywhere and there’s no point in trying. But perhaps there’s a different way of getting to where we want to go?
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It can be baffling when there’s a new habit we want to establish, something we really want to do, and yet we find it so hard to actually do the thing. But if we can find a way to tackle what’s going on here the reward is increased self-trust.
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When there’s something you want or you’ve been thinking about why is it that you see related examples and opportunities everywhere you turn? Is there something magical going on is there a neurological explanation for it?
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We might spend time away from home for lovely reasons like going on holiday or visiting friends, or it might be for a more troubling reason like caring for a sick loved one. Even if we’re happy to be staying somewhere different it can be still be a source of stress as we’re away from our home comforts and personal space.
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What might we regret in the future and what can we do about it now to mitigate them? Bronnie Ware’s book ‘The Top Five Regrets of the Dying’ got me thinking along with a realisation about the regrets I hadn’t had before.
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To do lists are useful, they hold you accountable and it’s super satisfying when you get to tick things off. But a to do list is never done. It eats up your time and reminds you of all that you haven’t yet done. So I have an alternative to suggest.
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We might know logically that our needs are valid, that we’re not being unreasonable with what we want, that we’re allowed to take care of ourselves but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to do! We can find ourselves dealing with feelings of resistance and discomfort in ourselves, perhaps as well as the opinions of others.
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When we want to make changes or try a new habit it can feel daunting or overwhelming, particularly if we put pressure on ourselves to do it right first time. But when we treat something as an experiment it eases the need (or belief) that it must be the solution we were looking for.
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Choosing a word to guide, inspire and remind you of how you want to feel or what you want to do isn’t just for January. You can pick a guiding word any time for any time period and benefit from its gentle nudging support.
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