The Reclamation Room: Self-Trust, Boundaries, and Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

In this episode, Ashana explores the kind of conversations that leave you grounded and clear versus the ones that leave you questioning your own perception.

She shares how honesty creates emotional safety, why people unconsciously enter silent agreements during conversations, and how those agreements shape the way we feel afterward. Through personal reflection, Ashana explains how disorientation often comes from relational dynamics rather than personal weakness.

This conversation focuses on learning to name your experience, staying curious instead of defensive, and recognizing the difference between connection and confusion.

Takeaways:

Some conversations leave you feeling disoriented in your own mind.

Honesty communicates respect and care.

Feeling seen and heard changes everything.

Curiosity creates more safety than control does.

Silent agreements shape emotional outcomes.

Awareness opens the door for change.

Conversations can become clearer over time.

Each day offers another opportunity for things to feel better.

Past episode mentioned:

Expectations, Boundaries, and the Space Between Them

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Post-production editing by Rachel Easterly. Buy my editor a coffee.

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In this episode, Ashana sits down with therapist and podcast host Malisa Hepner to talk about complex trauma, identity, and the moment life asks you to choose yourself.

Malisa shares her personal turning point in her forties that shifted her from surviving to living with intention, and how that experience shaped the work she now does helping others feel safe to be seen. Together, they explore reinvention, inner calling, and the quiet courage it takes to tell the truth about your life.

This conversation focuses on healing as remembering who you are, and how honesty creates both resilience and real connection.

Content Note:We talk openly about trauma and suicidal thoughts in this conversation. Take care of yourself while listening and step away if you need to.

Takeaways:

- Personal crises can become turning points toward meaning and direction.- Healing grows through honesty with yourself and others.- Reinvention remains available at any stage of life.- Self-discovery deepens when you honor your lived experience.- Visibility becomes easier when safety develops internally.- Resilience forms through awareness and integration of the past.- Purpose often emerges from the places that once felt broken.- Authentic conversations create real connection and relief.- Empowerment comes from embodying who you are rather than performing who you think you should be.- Your inner calling strengthens as you listen and respond over time.

About Malisa:

Malisa Hepner is a therapist, podcast host, and speaker devoted to helping people quiet the noise of trauma and reconnect with themselves. She hosts Emotionally Unavailable and cohosts Unquiet Soul, two shows centered on real, transformative conversations. Malisa also created healing resources including Safe to Be Seen and The Beauty of Imperfection: Good Is Enough. Drawing from professional training and lived experience with complex PTSD, her work supports people in moving beyond overthinking, perfectionism, and fear of visibility toward grounded, authentic, and joyful living.

Malisa's work: Click here

Malisa's instagram: Click here

Join the Community and Support the Show:

💛 Join our private women's call on Tuesdays for those who want to go deeper and experience connection and live coaching while healing from emotional overwhelm and relational harm.

Rate, follow, and share The Reclamation Room with your people. And always comment to let me know what resonated or what you’d love to explore next.

Post-production editing by Rachel Easterly. Buy my editor a coffee.

Thanks for listening. 💛

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In this episode, Ashana sits down with Hilary Momberger Powers for an honest and deeply human conversation about identity, healing, and what it means to come home to yourself after a life shaped by performance, pressure, and survival.

Hilary shares her journey from being a child star in the film industry to becoming a transformative coach devoted to self-acceptance, forgiveness, and emotional freedom. She reflects on growing up under the weight of public image and unspoken expectations, and how those early experiences shaped her relationship with her body, her worth, and her sense of safety in the world.

Together, they explore how trauma and addiction can become teachers as much as wounds, why community and spirituality matter in the healing process, and how vulnerability becomes a bridge rather than a liability. Hilary speaks to the moment her life began to pivot, when she realized she could stop rebuilding from the same old materials and start choosing a different foundation altogether.

This conversation holds space for the gray, for personal responsibility without self-punishment, and for the quiet, powerful truth that healing is not about rewriting the past, but about changing how you relate to it now.

Takeaways:

-Healing allows you to re-perceive your childhood with compassion and agency.-Forgiveness can become a gift you offer yourself, not a debt you owe others.-Stability in the nervous system creates room for nuance, reflection, and choice.-Personal responsibility opens the door to becoming part of the solution.-Letting go of old patterns makes space for building a life that actually fits.-Vulnerability strengthens connection when held in the right containers.-Community supports transformation in ways isolation never can.-Spirituality can offer grounding, meaning, and a wider lens for personal growth.-Identity is something you can continually reclaim, not something you are locked into.-It’s always possible to begin again from a different place.

About Hilary:

Hilary Momberger Powers is a transformative coach and speaker whose work centers on self-acceptance, forgiveness, and personal responsibility as pathways to healing. Drawing from her lived experience growing up in the film industry, as well as her journey through trauma recovery and addiction, Hilary supports others in breaking free from old narratives and building lives rooted in clarity, connection, and inner stability. Her approach blends emotional awareness, spiritual reflection, and community-based growth to help people step into a more grounded and authentic version of themselves.

Learn more here.

Join the Community and Support the Show:

💛 Join the live community space on Tuesdays for those who want to go deeper and experience connection and live coaching while healing from emotional overwhelm and relational harm.

Rate, follow, and share The Reclamation Room with your people. And always comment to let me know what resonated or what you’d love to explore next.

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Thanks for listening. 💛

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In this solo episode of The Reclamation Room, we explore the complex, often misunderstood nature of memory, especially in the context of trauma and narcissistic abuse. Rather than treating memory as a simple replay of facts, I want to invite you to look at memory as a lived, nervous-system-shaped experience. We'll break down how different parts of the brain influence what we store and what we can access, how emotional safety impacts clarity and recall, and why people in harmful or manipulative relationships often begin to doubt their own perceptions.

At the heart of this episode is an invitation to rebuild self-trust and to honor your emotional truth, even when the details of a story feel fuzzy or contested.

Key Takeaways

-Memory is not just about facts, it reflects lived experience.-The nervous system plays a central role in what we store and what we can recall.-Feeling emotionally safe allows for clearer memory access.-Trauma can create fragmented, blurry, or incomplete memories.-Power dynamics in relationships can shape how memories are interpreted.-Emotional safety influences what feels “rememberable.”-Memories are signals about safety and threat, not just historical records.-Being wrong about details does not invalidate emotional impact.-Consensus does not always equal truth, perspective matters.-Creating internal safety is essential for rebuilding self-trust.

Join the Community💛 Join my free weekly women’s call on Tuesdays to go deeper and experience live coaching.https://wayhomewellness.com/womenscircle

Explore my 12 week healing program helping you integrate what you've been through and start showing up as your most present, compassionate, and authentic self:https://wayhomewellness.com/journeytoself

To Support the Show: Rate, follow, and share The Reclamation Room with your friends. And always comment to let me know what resonated or what you’d love to hear next.

Thanks for listening. 💛

Post-production editing by Rachel Easterly.Buy my editor a coffee

Be a guest on the show, or invite me onto yours:Message me on Podmatch!https://www.joinpodmatch.com/ashana

In this episode, Ashana sits down with Melissa Swonger for a powerful and reflective conversation about radical kindness: not as a mood or a moment, but as a way of moving through the world without expectations of reciprocity.

Melissa shares her personal story of enduring profound physical suffering alongside psychological and spiritual adversity, and how her healing journey reshaped the way she understands leadership, connection, and grace. Drawing from her background as a qualitative researcher, leadership consultant, and trauma-informed coach, Melissa explores why radical kindness is not passive or naïve, but deeply transformative, especially in professional and leadership spaces.

Together, they discuss how kindness can coexist with boundaries, why vulnerability is essential (but must be honored wisely), and how choosing grace in even the most ordinary moments can quietly change systems, cultures, and lives. Melissa also shares her vision for The Sage Hill Project, an initiative rooted in mobilizing radical kindness as a movement, not a moment.

Takeaways:

Radical kindness goes beyond politeness and does not require reciprocity.

Personal stories of trauma can become catalysts for collective healing.

Connection and psychological safety are essential for transformation.

Vulnerability is powerful, but discernment and boundaries matter.

Healing is an ongoing process that requires support and self-honoring.

Leadership rooted in kindness fosters trust, belonging, and courage.

Small, intentional acts of grace can create meaningful cultural change.

Everyone has the capacity to choose kindness, regardless of circumstances.

Healing involves confronting the stories and lies we carry about ourselves.

It’s never too late to begin again.

Resources and Books We Mentioned:

Whom He Raised — Melissa Swonger(Available for pre-sale February 22)

Canoeing the Mountains — Tod Bolsinger

The Sage Hill Project

About Melissa:

Melissa Swonger is a trauma-informed coach, leadership consultant, author, and speaker whose work sits at the intersection of lived experience, faith, and academic rigor. She is a Ph.D. candidate in psychology, holds an M.A. in Leadership from Gordon-Conwell, an Advanced Graduate Certificate in Evidence-Based Coaching from Fielding Graduate University, and a B.A. in Journalism from the University of Kansas.

Melissa has led culture and belonging work with leaders across sectors, developed practical tools for teams, and speaks widely on psychological safety, radical kindness, and courageous leadership. Her heartbeat is helping people feel safe enough to be curious, connect, and act with courage.

Join the Community and Support the Show:

💛 Join my free weekly women’s call on Tuesdays for those who want to go deeper and experience community and live coaching while healing from emotional overwhelm and relational harm.

Rate, follow, and share The Reclamation Room with your friends.And always comment to let me know what resonated or what you’d love to hear more about!

Post-production editing by Rachel Easterly. Buy my editor a coffee here!

Thanks for listening. 💛

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In this episode, I’m exploring something that quietly shapes so many of our relationships but rarely gets named… expectations.

Specifically, the unspoken ones.

I talk about how expectations often form beneath our awareness, how they’re shaped by past experiences and survival strategies, and why they can create so much confusion, resentment, and conflict when they’re never brought into the light. I also unpack the difference between expectations and boundaries, and why clarity, self-trust, and emotional safety matter more than being “right” or perfectly regulated.

This conversation is an invitation to slow down, get honest with yourself, and notice what you may be assuming, hoping for, or bracing against in your relationships… without judging yourself for it.Takeaways

• Expectations in relationships are often unspoken, and that’s where conflict begins• Boundaries matter, but they work best when grounded in clarity and mutual understanding• Past relational experiences can quietly shape what we expect from others• Expectations can function as survival strategies, especially after trauma• Expectations and boundaries are not the same thing• Journaling is a powerful tool for untangling expectations

Post-production editing by Rachel EasterlyBuy my editor a coffee!

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💛 Join my free weekly women’s call on Tuesdays to go deeper and experience live coaching.(You'll also find the link to join our private community on that page.)

To Support the Show

Rate, follow, and share The Reclamation Room with your friends.And always comment to let me know what landed for you or what you’d love to hear more about.

Thanks for listening. 💛

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How much are we controlled by our subconscious minds? This week, Ashana sits down with Matt Johnson, a hypnotherapist and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) coach, who shares his story of healing from a traumatic brain injury and subsequent PTSD, and sheds light on how deeply intertwined our past traumas are to our present day struggles, even when we don’t realize it. This conversation will definitely satisfy your curiosity and enlighten you on how hypnosis and NLP work and can be effective in rewiring our brains to process trauma in a healing way!

About Matt

Matt specializes in helping people heal mental and emotional baggage and take command of subconcious programming that controls up to 95% of human behaviors by age 30. After his own diagnosis with PTSD, Matt was thrust into a world of talk therapists and medications--a world which he was no stranger to, due to prior struggles in managing anxiety. Matt instead made the decision to follow a new path to treatment with hypnosis and it’s cousin, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, or NLP.  After getting quadruple-certified and spending years studying the greats in both fields, Matt was finally able to heal his mind. Matt believes that no matter how deep the wound or how long you have struggled with something, transformation is possible when you refuse to give up.

Connect with Matt

Website: https://mattjohnsonnlp.com 

Facebook: ⁠ / https://www.facebook.com/groups/nlprewireandrise    

YouTube: / @NLPRewireandRise

Instagram: ⁠⁠ / mattjohnson7455

LinkedIn: /  https://www.linkedin.com/in/matt-johnson-23897525a/ 

Resources

Limitless By Design -- https://limitlessminddesign.com/

Join the Community 

💛 Join my ⁠free weekly women’s call⁠ on Tuesdays to go deeper and experience live coaching.

https://wayhomewellness.com/womenscircle

To Support the Show:

Rate, follow, and share The Reclamation Room with your friends. And always comment to let us know if you have feedback!

Thanks for listening. 💛

Be a guest on the show, or invite me onto yours:

⁠⁠Message me on ⁠Podmatch⁠!⁠

https://www.joinpodmatch.com/ashana

Post-production editing by Rachel Easterly

Buy my editor a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/thereclamationroom

This week, we sit down with the fascinating Dr. Fred Moss and have an honest conversation about the medical community and society’s obsession with overdiagnosis and dependence on medication. Is it entering into a problematic territory? Are there really conditions in which breaking free from reliance on medication is possible? We chat about Dr. Moss’s own “MOSS method” as a new approach to optimizing life and mental health. You will also enjoy discussions touching on the role of gratitude, our relationship with food, and how financial order contributes to overall well-being.

Takeaways:

-Fasting can change one's relationship with food.-Communication is key to healing in mental health.-Psychiatric diagnoses are often arbitrary and not helpful.-Labels can relieve personal responsibility for actions.-Medication can sometimes worsen mental health symptoms.-Human connection is essential for healing.-Normalcy is a subjective concept and varies by individual.-Dependency on medication can hinder personal growth.-Gratitude can significantly improve mental well-being.-Financial stress can impact mental health.

About Dr. Fred Moss

Dr. Moss spent several decades practicing psychiatry before embarking on a new methodology that emphasized healing above the conventional method of simply “curing” symptoms. He is the voice of the Welcome to Humanity brand, and considers himself a “non-diagnosing psychiatrist” and “undoctor.” He is a prolific author and speaker, mental health mentor, and financial literacy coach. 

Connect With Dr. Moss!

Website: www.WelcomeToHumanity.net // drfred360.com Facebook: / drfredmossmd   LinkedIn: / in/drfredmossYouTube: / @drfredmossTwitter/X: /drfredmossInstagram:  / drfredmoss

Hosted Podcasts:The Healthy Healer[IN]Sanity Podcast with Dr. Fred & SamWelcome To Humanity

Join the Community 

💛 Join my ⁠free weekly women’s call⁠ on Tuesdays to go deeper and experience live coaching.https://wayhomewellness.com/womenscircle

To Support the Show:

Rate, follow, and share The Reclamation Room with your friends. And always comment to let us know if you have feedback!

Thanks for listening. 💛

Be a guest on the show, or invite me onto yours:

Message me on ⁠Podmatch⁠!⁠https://www.joinpodmatch.com/ashana

Post-production editing by Rachel Easterly

Buy my editor a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/thereclamationroom

In this episode, Ashana sits down with Heather Melville, Certified Relationship Coach, for a grounded conversation about narcissism, emotional abuse, and healing without getting stuck in extremes. Together, they explore how toxic dynamics often go unnoticed, how self-worth is shaped inside unhealthy relationships, and what it actually means to move beyond victimhood without denying harm.

They discuss the nuances of narcissism, the emotional toll of toxic relationships, and the role of accountability in healing without self-blame. The conversation also touches on curiosity as a tool for navigating conflict, the importance of shared core values, and why growth must be a mutual commitment in healthy relationships. Along the way, Ashana and Heather weave in literature, personal stories, and the reminder that healing can be meaningful without always being heavy.

Takeaways:

Many people don’t realize they’re in toxic relationships until clarity comes later.

Self-worth is often the root issue beneath relational struggles.

Awareness is the first step toward healing and change.

Accountability can exist without self-blame.

Curiosity can help de-escalate conflict and build understanding.

Core values and shared growth are essential in healthy relationships.

Self-validation is key to moving beyond victimhood.

Resources and Books We Mentioned:

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway -- Dr. Susan Feathers

Whole Again -- Jackson McKenzie

Learned Optimism -- By Martin Seligman

Boundaries -- Dr. Henry Cloud

Excuses Be Gone -- Dr. Wayne Dyer

My Stroke of Insight:A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey --  Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor

Let Your Life Speak -- Parker J. Palmer

Traveling Mercies -- Anne Lamott

Man’s Search for Meaning -- Viktor Frankl

The Sunflower -- Simon Weisenthal

The Relationship Cure -- John Gottman

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People -- Stephen Covey 

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones -- James Clear

Get Curious: Discover How to Become Your Best Self -- Allison Nancye Who Am I?: The 16 Basic Desires That Motivate Our Behavior and Define Our Personality -- ⁠Steven Reiss Ph.D.⁠

Manufacturing Victims: What the Psychology Industry Is Doing to People -- Tana Dineen

About Heather:

Heather Melville is a Certified Relationship Coach specializing in toxic relationship recovery. She helps women rebuild confidence, intuition, and self-trust after unhealthy relationships. After transitioning from a career as an Electrical Engineer, Heather followed her passion for helping people feel seen, supported, and empowered. She currently lives in a custom-built RV with her fiancé and embraces life as an ongoing journey of growth, learning, and adventure.

Website: ⁠https://www.healthyrelationships.info/⁠

Free Resource: ⁠https://www.healthyrelationships.info/services-4/life-after-toxic-love⁠

Instagram: @healthyrelationships.coach

Facebook: Healthy Relationships Coaching

💛 Join my ⁠free weekly women’s call⁠ on Tuesdays for those who want to go deeper and experience community and live coaching while healing from emotional overwhelm and relational harm.⁠⁠⁠https://wayhomewellness.com/womenscircle⁠⁠⁠

Support the Show

Rate, follow, and share The Reclamation Room with your friends. And always comment to let us know if you have feedback!

Be a guest on the show, or invite me onto yours:

⁠⁠Message me on ⁠Podmatch⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.joinpodmatch.com/ashana⁠⁠⁠

Post-production editing by Rachel EasterlyBuy my editor a coffee: ⁠⁠⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/thereclamationroom⁠⁠⁠

Thanks for listening. 💛

In this episode, Ashana sits down with Allison Bishins for an honest conversation about healing after growing up in a cult, reclaiming identity, and the slow, layered process of coming home to yourself. Luna shares their experience of leaving a cult at 22, how indoctrination shaped their sense of self, and what it’s been like to untangle what was taught from what is true.

They explore the therapeutic power of writing, the role of creative expression in processing trauma stored in the body, and why healing doesn’t require rushing forgiveness or bypassing anger. Together, they discuss boundaries, accountability in relationships, and the permission to be imperfect — even “crappy” — while learning something new. This conversation makes space for nuance, curiosity, and healing on your own timeline.

Takeaways:

Leaving a cult doesn’t instantly bring clarity; healing is slow and layered.

Writing can be a powerful tool for processing trauma and uncovering buried emotions.

Forgiveness can coexist with anger and accountability.

Creative expression helps access what the body has been holding.

Cults often exploit vulnerability and shape belief systems.

Recognizing and replacing indoctrinated beliefs is part of healing.

Boundaries are essential for trauma survivors.

Validation of feelings supports nervous system safety.

Self-discovery takes time and patience.

It’s okay to be bad at something while you’re learning.

About Allison:

Allison Bishins is a traveler, wanderer, reader, writer, mom, and rescue dog mama. They write on Medium about ex-cult experiences, business, and motherhood. Under the pen name Luna Westish, they recently released their debut novel, Meet Me at the Ruins — a slice-of-life story exploring anxiety, love, and belonging against the backdrop of Edinburgh, Scotland.

Connect With Allison:

Website: ⁠https://www.lunawestish.com⁠Medium: ⁠https://www.medium.com/@allisonbishins⁠Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/lunawestish⁠Book: ⁠https://bookshop.org/a/115025/9798986371665⁠

Join the Community 

💛 Join my ⁠free weekly women’s call⁠ on Tuesdays for those who want to go deeper and experience community and live coaching while healing from emotional overwhelm and relational harm.

⁠⁠https://wayhomewellness.com/womenscircle⁠⁠

To Support the Show:

Rate, follow, and share The Reclamation Room with your friends. And always comment to let us know if you have feedback!

Be a guest on the show, or invite me onto yours:

⁠⁠Message me on ⁠Podmatch⁠!⁠

⁠⁠https://www.joinpodmatch.com/ashana⁠⁠

Post-production editing by Rachel Easterly

Buy my editor a coffee: ⁠⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/thereclamationroom⁠⁠

Thanks for listening. 💛