This week on Round Table: half a family drowns in a cesspool in China trying to retrieve a lost cell phone, a man drives across the country with his dead girlfriend's corpse in the front seat, and an accused murderer has his too fat to murder defense struck down. Joining us today: Malachi Nimmons, Tim Warner, and Henry Zebrowski!

This week on Round Table: on this very special live episode, the Round Table roasts producer and local bad-toothed psychopath, Marcus Parks. Featuring all the members of the Round Table, Jared Logan, Mike Recine, Amber Nelson, Rebecca Trent, and Nick Turner on the dais!

This week on Round Table: a cat that looks like Hitler got beat up for looking like Hitler, a wave of penis disappearances take Burkina Faso by storm, and a man tries to have sex with an ATM. Joining us today: Mark Normand!

This week on Round Table: a dog with huge nipples is stolen, the mystery pooper of Ypsilanti, MI is caught, and a Japanese taxi driver gets off on passengers peeing in his cab. Joining us briefly today: Pat Dixon!

This week on Round Table: a man wrapped up like a burrito behind a Taco Bell gets arrested for meth possession, the son of Lobster Boy speaks out for the first time about his father's murder, and a prankster in Minnesota pulls one over on the establishment. Joining us today: Amber Nelson, Adam Newman, and Katherine Timpf!

This week on Round Table: a man goes to jail for a year for pouring hot sauce on a puppy, another man goes on a kissing spree in a drug store, and a Brazillian man is killed by a falling toilet. Joining us today: Shakir Stanley!

This week on Round Table: a teacher gets fired after giving a student a lap dance in class, an Oregon power plant is under fire for using aborted fetuses to feed the fires, and a woman is arrested in Arizona for conspiracy to commit bestiality. Joining us today: Justy Dodge!

This week on Round Table: a squirrel causes havoc in a Dollar Store and ends up full of bullets, a man breaks into a church with a prostitute and steals from the rectory to pay her, and a woman strangles the hitman her husband hired to kill her to death. Joining us today: Jordan Temple and Henry Zebrowski!

This week on Round Table: an African Grey tries to commit suicide after being locked in a garage for three years, a student in Ireland has a heart attack from a testicle tug, and a dwarf has an adventure on the road that none of us will soon forget. Joining us today: Amber Nelson and The Reformed Whores!

This week on Round Table: a mystery pooper is terrorizing a town in Michigan, police are searching for the notorious "granny spinner" in Romania, and a man sets fire to an apartment building after trying to burn the fur of a squirrel. Joining us today: Chris Waelti and Andrew Short!