This year we have decided we won’t give any gifts to each other.
Welcome,
If we can’t give each other some expensive gifts like a dream house or a car, then there is no point spending hard-earned $20 $50 on some perishable items. We want to save for our financial freedom. And it can save money for vacations because experiences are always better than stuff.
That doesn’t mean I am anyway against Valentines’ day or romantic gestures.
Most of the relationships around us are situationships and people are highly cynical about proposing a girl, to go on a date, and doing things together. People think it’s lame. The most amazing thing is when two people in a relationship get cynical about love itself. Cynicism has developed as a coping mechanism in people. Most of them don’t have a relationship, and one who has it, feels “this is not what I want”. Something is missing. I am missing some big gestures and expensive gifts in my relationship. This has been my complain in all my past situationships.
This brings me back to my present man, this was another situationship. He proposed to me when I asked him to, but I don’t remember any expensive gifts. He did have big gesture situations, however - when he surprised me with cakes and gifts on a movie set, I was working; million years ago. So, not exactly lame.
The decision to not giving each other any cheap gifts sounds like I have given up. I know it’s never going to happen; I would let go of the hope altogether.
However, in this 6-7 year, our relationship has grown at a compound rate. It has turned from a situationship to a soulmate situation.
The sexiest thing about him is, he is very self-sufficient. I don’t think I could stand a guy who can’t cook or clean behind himself, though it would have been more fun to have a man in life who had housekeepers to do that.
Since we have agreed upon our common goals, we feel we have developed the strongest and the most secure place for both of us. He is not only self-sufficient practically, but also, emotionally and mentally.
I can talk to him about any other man that hit on me, my ex's and my present crushes. Last year, a man gave me a Michael Kors purse as a gift for no reason, I told him, we both were like that’s great we got an expensive purse for free. In most relationships, this could have been a reason for a huge fight. We both knew how insignificant the other person was, who knew I was committed but wanted to impress me with an expensive gift.
What if someone desirable had given it to me? He would have reacted different. But any desirable man wouldn’t force a gift to a woman. At the same time, it has been my life long complain, no one desirable gives me any attention, well, it’s a topic of another….
The ideal man shown in the movies are either rich with all the money and people in place to do whatever the girl wanted, or romantic roadside Romeo who does nothing but impresses the girl.
My relationship with my partner is a balance between the two. He has a potential and desire to become soothing big and at the same time the romantic naivety. The fact that we are growing together is the beauty of our relationship. We shouldn’t pressure our hardworking men to perform the way the hero performs in the movies. Our men and women work hard all day and provide for the family. Amidst all, whatever they can do for each other should be highly appreciated.
Having said that none of us should give up on romance, it shouldn’t turn into a rose without fragrance and food without the flavor.
