The Sexual Wellness Sessions

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're talking about motherhood, and how being a mother can create impact and change in our sex lives. We discuss all of the factors that are influencing the lives of modern mothers, and how a snowballing of social factors are directly impacting mothers and their relationships with self and partners. 

In our conversation Sarah and I cover how mothers go through stages and changes physically, emotionally, psychologically and in terms of identity, all of which can create a huge shift in how we see ourselves as a person; which can then show up in our sex lives and relationships. Sarah refers to this as matrescence, which is defined as the process of becoming a mother and the changes that occur in different aspects of our lives as a result, and she talks about how this is reflected back to us by society and culture. 

Sarah Forbes is a curator + sexual culturalist + author. Dubbed a "sexpert supreme" by Cosmopolitan Magazine, her memoir, "Sex in the Museum" is based on her decade as the Curator of the Museum of Sex in New York. Trained as an anthropologist, Sarah is writing her second book, "Mama Sex," an anthropological look at motherhood and sexuality. With a focus on sexuality, gender and history, Sarah has been a featured expert everywhere from the New York Times to the The Today Show. 

@mamasexbook

https://www.mamasexbook.com/

Today's episode was brought to you by Ferly, the sexual wellness app empowering womxn and non-binary folk to overcome sexual difficulties which can range from lack of libido, inability to orgasm or simply low body confidence. Ferly do this with science based tools and techniques, that help them feel better in their bodies and their beds.

I have the privilege of working with Ferly as their resident advisor, and truly believe their app has the ability to be transformative for female sexual wellness.

https://weareferly.com/

@weareferly

Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing. 

Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're talking about Chemsex with a particular focus on the gay, bisexual and men-having-sex-with-men community where chemsex is most common. My guest for this conversation is David Stuart who was the first person to name and identify Chemsex as an emerging gay cultural phenomenon. He's a support worker, public servant and a drug use counsellor, specialising in chems and chemsex. He is incredibly experienced in working with those struggling with chemsex use, and what factors are often involved in starting and maintaining the use chems as a part of someone's sex life. 

One of the challenges of chemsex is that people often describe this particular use of drugs, as making them feel less inhibited and experiencing increased pleasure; however the flipside of this is that is can pose challenges for sober sex. In this conversation we unpack some of the cultural and social factors that are contributing to people's challenges with chemsex; and we examine some of the narratives and experiences that can influence someone's relationship to chems. 

David Stuart was the first to name and identify Chemsex as an emerging gay cultural phenomenon. He developed the world’s first chemsex support services, and he fought relentlessly for greater chemsex awareness by encouraging and stimulating cultural dialogue and discussion within our international gay, bi and Queer communities. He continues to support international governments and communities to manage the cultural phenomenon from a place of kindness, sex positivity and cultural competence.

https://www.davidstuart.org/

@davidastuart

Today's episode was brought to you by Blueheart, the easy to use, expert-designed app for couples who are experiencing difficulties with libido - this is one of the most common sexual challenges that couples come up against. Blueheart are challenging the taboo around the subject by making getting help and advice more accessible.

Blueheart is removing some of the barriers to make sex therapy possible for everyone, they offer expert-led therapeutic techniques, activities education and guided conversations, all from the app so that you can prioritise your relationship and sexual wellbeing in a way that works for you at your own pace.

The Blueheart app is available to download now on Android and iPhone

https://www.blueheart.io/

@blueheart_app

Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing. 

Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're discussing the experience of menopause with icon of the nineties Brit Pop scene, and now menopause campaigner, author and columnist and founder of Women's Health Platform Meg's Menopause @megsmenopause Meg Mathews.

Whilst the menopause is a natural part of ageing which occurs when oestrogen levels decline, normally between the ages of about 45 and 55 years of age; there are still 34 commonly associated symptoms which impact those going through menopause not jut physically and physiologically, but also emotionally and mentally. Whilst some symptoms like irregular periods, hot flushes, vaginal dryness and lower libido may be more commonly known; others such as fatigue, joint pain, dizzy spells, impact on sleep, anxiety and loss of focus and struggles with cognition can have a huge impact on all round health and wellbeing. All of this can also have a huge knock on effect on relationships, work, family-life, hobbies and interests and general wellbeing; although it feels like there aren't many conversations acknowledging that.

In 2016 Meg turned fifty and began to experience the first symptoms of the menopause. She was shocked at the lack of support and understanding shown to women during this time in their lives and made it her mission to break the stigma around this natural cycle of ageing. Since 2017 she has been campaigning about the menopause, fronting campaigns, speaking at events and helping thousands of women navigate their menopause journey. 

Meg launched the Women's Health Platform @Megsmenopause to offer people holistic information and products, she has a weekly column for Stella magazine dedicated to the menopause, and a quarterly column in Menopause Matters magazine. 

Meg’s first book ‘The New Hot: Taking on the Menopause with Attitude and Style’ was published by Vermillion in 2020.

https://megsmenopause.com/

Instagram : @megsmenopause

Today's episode was brought to you by Blueheart, the easy to use, expert-designed app for couples who are experiencing difficulties with libido - this is one of the most common sexual challenges that couples come up against. Blueheart are challenging the taboo around the subject by making getting help and advice more accessible.

Blueheart is removing some of the barriers to make sex therapy possible for everyone, they offer expert-led therapeutic techniques, activities education and guided conversations, all from the app so that you can prioritise your relationship and sexual wellbeing in a way that works for you at your own pace.

The Blueheart app is available to download now on Android and iPhone

https://www.blueheart.io/

@blueheart_app

Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing. 

Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're talking about the topic of consent.  Justin Hancock @bishsexed and I talk about why more conversations about consent are needed, why we think that they aren't happening and how we can all better understand consent, what it means, and what it looks like.

Consent is a powerful word, but not everyone understands exactly what it means. It is an essential component of not just our sex lives and relationships but all aspects of our lives. Despite this we have historically seen it left out of mainstream education and conversation and we see millions of examples worldwide about how consent has not been freely given and has been violated. Discussions around consent both in and out of our relationships need to be normalised and demystified in order that we can make the changes to our culture around consent, which is what Justin and I aim to tackle in our conversation. 

https://www.bishuk.com/

Instagram : @bishsexed

This episode was sponsored by iPlaysafe App.

Download the free app and order your iPlaySafe Box - a home STI testing kit.

Your results will be sent directly your app, along with an iPlaySafe badge verifying your sexual health status.

https://www.iplaysafe.app/

Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing. 

Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're discussing how the process of grieving and loss can impact sex lives and relationships. I'll be having this conversation with the world leading expert, psychotherapist, and author Julia Samuel MBE; who in her book Grief Works said “We seem happy to talk about sex or failure, or to expose our deepest vulnerabilities, but on death we are silent. It is so frightening, even alien, for many of us that we cannot find the words to voice it . . . The pain we feel is invisible, an unseen wound.”

Grief and loss are not often held in conversation together with sex, but as a psychotherapist it's something that I often explore in the therapy room. Loss can shake up so much of our lives, change our thinking and our perspectives; and something that Julia often refers to in our conversation is we can't 'not know that loss is possible' once we have experienced it.

We discuss the flip side of love being loss, and how for some people their most natural instinct may be to shut down and turn away from intimacy and connection; whereas for others the need to feel, and feel alive may be what they are searching for when they are grieving. We also talk about how we understand mourning, and if we can apply what we know about loss to relationship break ups.

Julia Samuel MBE. Msc,  MBACP (Snr Accredited) UKCP Registered Psychotherapist 

Julia is a leading UK psychotherapist.  At St Mary's Hospital Paddington, she established the post of  psychotherapist for Paediatrics, where her role for 25 years involved seeing families who have children or babies who die, and where she trained and supported the staff. In 1994 she worked to help launch and establish The Child Bereavement UK, and in 2016 was awarded an MBE in recognition of her services to bereaved children; and in 2017 Middlesex University awarded her an Honorary Doctorate. 

In 2017 Julia published Grief Works which was a Sunday Times bestseller in the UK and has been published in 17 countries. In March 2020 she published This Too Shall Pass: stories of Change Crisis and Hopeful Beginnings and is also a Sunday Times bestseller. She also hosts the podcast A Living Loss : The Art Of Losing And Finding Yourself.

https://juliasamuel.co.uk/

Instagram : @juliasamuelmbe

Today's episode was brought to you by Blueheart, the easy to use, expert-designed app for couples who are experiencing difficulties with libido - this is one of the most common sexual challenges that couples come up against. Blueheart are challenging the taboo around the subject by making getting help and advice more accessible.

Blueheart is removing some of the barriers to make sex therapy possible for everyone, they offer expert-led therapeutic techniques, activities education and guided conversations, all from the app so that you can prioritise your relationship and sexual wellbeing in a way that works for you at your own pace.

The Blueheart app is available to download now on Android and iPhone

https://www.blueheart.io/

Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing. 

Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're discussing the huge topic of relationships. We cover how sex can change in relationships and how one of the biggest challenges to our relationships can be our narratives and expectations of them. My guest for this conversation is the brilliant Andrew G Marshall; marital therapist, podcast host and author of twenty books on sex and relationships; including the international best sellers: 'I love you but I'm not in love with you' and 'How can I ever trust you again'.

Relationships are a theme woven through most of the episodes on this podcast, and it almost feels impossible not to talk about relationships when we talk about sex, and not to talk about sex when we talk about relationships. The biggest questions I get asked as a Psychosexual Therapist are about how and why sex changes, and this is what Andrew and I unpick in our discussion.

We talk about where our ideas about relationships come from, why our expectations can set us up to fail, why intimacy and fear can be linked, and why often the hardest thing to do is to let go of control and be vulnerable, but how when we do how it can deepen intimacy and connection.

Andrew G Marshall is a marital therapist, author of twenty books, and host of the podcast: The Meaningful Life with Andrew G Marshall - where he interviews guests from all walks of life about what makes life meaningful. He trained thirty five years ago with Relate and leads a team of relationship and psycho-sexual therapists in private practice in the UK; and has his own practice in Berlin. 

Follow Andrew on Twitter at @andrewgmarshall

www.andrewgmarshall.com

www.couplestherapy.berlin

Today's episode was brought to you by Blueheart, the easy to use, expert-designed app for couples who are experiencing difficulties with libido - this is one of the most common sexual challenges that couples come up against. Blueheart are challenging the taboo around the subject by making getting help and advice more accessible.

Blueheart is removing some of the barriers to make sex therapy possible for everyone, they offer expert-led therapeutic techniques, activities education and guided conversations, all from the app so that you can prioritise your relationship and sexual wellbeing in a way that works for you at your own pace.

The Blueheart app is available to download now on Android and iPhone

https://www.blueheart.io/

Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing. 

Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're talking about the topic of sexual diversity and why it's important that we have more understanding around the subject. My guest for this conversation is a world-recognised expert in this space and founder of the organisation Pink Therapy, Dominic Davies. 

https://www.pinktherapy.com/

Blueheart is removing some of the barriers to make sex therapy possible for everyone, they offer expert-led therapeutic techniques, activities education and guided conversations, all from the app so that you can prioritise your relationship and sexual wellbeing in a way that works for you at your own pace.

The Blueheart app is available to download now on Android and iPhone

https://www.blueheart.io/

Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing. 

Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're discussing the sexual relationships that we have with ourselves, and the topic of self-pleasure. My guest for this conversation is the fabulous Daisy Buchanan, who is an award winning journalist, author and broadcaster who's new book Insatiable: A Love Story For Greedy Girls, frankly and openly discusses the sexual relationship that Violet, the key character has with herself. 

This episode of the Sexual Wellness Sessions Podcast is brought to you by Daye, the gynae health research and development company raising the standards of female healthcare. Daye is on a mission to bridge the gender gap in medical research and innovation – starting with period pain, which affects 9 in 10 women in the UK. Daye is the creator of the world's first clinically validated, cramp-soothing CBD tampon, developed as a targeted solution for period cramps. They people with periods deserve tampons that are safe for both your body and the environment, which is why Daye tampons are fully sustainable, made with certified organic cotton and sanitised for safety to reduce the risk of TSS. 

Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing. 

Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're discussing the impact of cancer and cancer treatment on sex lives and relationships. My guests for this conversation are the amazing Brian Lobel and Beth McCann from the organisation Sex With Cancer; which is an art project and community enterprise that looks at innovative solutions to the often-ignored problem of illness, intimacy, sexual function and pleasure. Brian Lobel is an artist who has been working in cancer care and patient advocacy since 2003, after a diagnosis of testicular cancer when he was 20 years old, and he now performs and writes both creatively and academically on the subject of cancer. Beth McCann is a Clinical nurse specialist for young people with cancer with a special interest in sexual health.

Cancer diagnosis and treatment touch all areas of our lives; but sexual wellbeing is not a commonly discussed topic. Often people describe feeling that there is a blind spot around the subject which adds to the challenge of questions, queries, and knowing where to turn for advice. This is exactly what Sex With Cancer as an organisation are trying to achieve. It was launched by people with cancer, for people with cancer for exactly this reason. 

The impact of cancer for sufferers and partners is enormous, and can create changes in all areas of our lives physically, emotionally, in terms of self-image and confidence, relationships, psychologically, hormonally and in terms of our identity, and so it's not a surprise then that we see some of that reflected in our thinking, feeling and behaviours when it comes to sex. 

sexwithcancer.com

YES products are hypoallergenic and certified organic by the Soil Association, made from ethically sourced plant-based ingredients, without parabens, glycerine or hormones. This is ideal for cancer patients seeking natural relief from vaginal dryness brought on by cancer treatments, to restore comfortable sex.

Discover YES products at https://www.yesyesyes.org/breastcancer/Use YESKATE15 to claim 15% off your order. 

Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing. 

Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're talking all about the sex that we see on stage and screen. My guest for this episode is the brilliant Intimacy Coordinator and Movement Director Ita O'Brien; who has worked on many hit shows, including Sex Education, Normal People, I May Destroy You and It's A Sin.

The ideas and narratives that we pick up about sex and relationships come from multiple sources; but one of the big influential factors in our lives is what we see on screen. TV series and films make up a lot of our downtime, and are a common topic of conversation, and Netflix is now a well-used word in our everyday vocabulary; but what goes into the process and thinking of the sex that we see on screen and how can that impact how we think and feel about sex?

Comparison culture is at an all time high, and many of us feel that what we see when it comes to sex on screen, doesn't ring true when it comes to our own sex lives. On the flipside we have seen the huge success of shows like Normal People, which Ita was the intimacy co-ordinator on. The much-praised intimacy scenes demonstrated communication, fumbling, uncertainty and the 'working-it-out-as-you-go-on' type of sex that many of us experience in their daily lives, and therefore felt was represented. 

Ita O'Brien is the UK's leading Intimacy Coordinator and founder of Intimacy on Set. O'Brien pioneered the role of the Intimacy Coordinator and since 2014 has been developing best practice Intimacy on Set Guidelines, which have been widely adopted in the industry and championed by the TIME'S UP movement and others, advocating for safe, fair and dignified work for everyone. O'Brien has worked on numerous high-profile productions including Normal People (BBC3/Hulu), Sex Education 1&2 (Netflix), Gangs of London (Sky Atlantic), The Great (Hulu), I May Destroy You (BBC/HBO), Brave New World (Peacock/Sky One), It's A Sin (Channel 4) and has been widely covered in the national and international media as the leading spokesperson in this space.

https://www.itaobrien.com/

This episode was sponsored by iPlaysafe App.

Download the free app and order your iPlaySafe Box - a home STI testing kit.

Your results will be sent directly your app, along with an iPlaySafe badge verifying your sexual health status. It's then up to you when, with whom, and whether you share it.  

https://www.iplaysafe.app/

Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing. 

Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy