The Shallow End

What happens when you don’t take the win?

This episode of The Shallow End delivers two unforgettable stories about poor decisions, improbable survival, and the fine art of knowing when to walk away.

First, a Texas man is released from jail, handed his belongings, and given the one instruction that matters most: leave. Instead, he realizes something is missing—his confiscated marijuana—and makes the baffling choice to climb back over the jail fence to retrieve it. The result? No weed, more charges, and an instant promotion to the Shallow End Hall of Fame. A perfect lesson in why some exits should never be re-entered .

Then, the episode pivots from modern misjudgment to 19th-century audacity with the astonishing true story of Professor Thaddeus Lowe, a self-taught scientist who accidentally drifted by hot air balloon behind Confederate lines at the dawn of the Civil War. Shot at, nearly arrested, and mistaken for a demonic flying contraption, Lowe somehow talked his way out—then turned the entire ordeal into a meeting with Abraham Lincoln and the creation of America’s first military balloon reconnaissance program .

Along the way, listeners are treated to a jaw-dropping listener story involving gasoline, a bonfire, a Kiss music video, and the Milwaukee River—plus a reminder that eyebrows do, in fact, grow back.

Equal parts absurd, historical, and painfully relatable, this episode explores those fragile moments when the universe says, you’re done here—and what happens when someone ignores it.

Life lessons included. Jail fences should not be climbed. Fire tricks should not be attempted. And when freedom hands you the door… take it.

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As 2025 limps toward the finish line, The Shallow End with Schnebly and Toth dives headfirst into a fresh batch of gloriously bad decisions, near-miss disasters, and criminal incompetence you truly have to hear to believe.

The episode opens with a painfully relatable moment of modern panic: losing your phone… while actively talking on it. From there, things escalate quickly with a near-catastrophic kitchen mistake involving a laptop and a microwave (spoiler: MacBooks are not microwave-safe).

But the real headline story comes out of small-town Ohio, where an ordinary bank drive-through transaction turns into one of the dumbest criminal stories of the year. A man accidentally sends methamphetamine through a pneumatic bank tube, triggering a sheriff’s department response, a canine alert, and instant internet infamy. No getaway plan. No criminal mastermind. Just a jaw-dropping lapse in attention that lands him squarely in Shallow End legend.

The episode also features listener-submitted stories, including a Florida man who attempts yard work with a sword and accidentally enters a real-life medieval snake encounter, plus a stunning double-whammy crime story involving COVID relief fraud, a stolen U-Haul van, and a defendant who shows up for federal court already in handcuffs.

If you enjoy true dumb criminal stories, real news absurdity, and laugh-out-loud moments fueled by human error, this episode delivers. It’s a reminder to double-check what’s in your pockets, return your rental vehicles on time, and for the love of all that’s holy—don’t mail illegal drugs to a bank.

The Shallow End is where bad ideas float, good judgment sinks, and the stories are always true.

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year—when you’re permitted (and strongly encouraged) to sip eggnog and pretend you forgot that embarrassing childhood performance of “Jingle Bells” on your parents’ camcorder. But guess what? We didn’t forget. And we’re bringing you something just as classic and cringey—a rerun from three Christmases ago!

Join us as we sleigh-ride back in time to an episode packed with questionable decisions and awkward outcomes, like what happens when you attempt to steal a trailer, but you're not too bright or why we should never fiddle about with the weather. It’s our Christmas gift to you—and the best part? You can re-gift it guilt-free to your friends, family, or that random coworker who keeps forwarding you cat memes.

So, don your ugly sweater, grab a candy cane (or something much stronger), and tune in for a holly-jolly re-gifted serving of The Shallow End. No matter how you celebrate, at least you’ll have this greatest hit to amuse you while Uncle Gary attempts his 47th retelling of “The Night Before Christmas.” Merry Reruns!

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What happens when a man calls 911 to report a wrong-way driver… and discovers he is the wrong-way driver? In this episode of The Shallow End, Schnebly and Tom share a jaw-dropping true story of drunk driving irony, a listener’s unforgettable fast-food bathroom disaster, and a late-night McDonald’s drive-thru in Florida that escalates from impatience to gunfire. Real stories. Bad decisions. Maximum shallow end.

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The Shallow End with Schnebly and Toth is a wildly entertaining podcast that revels in people's absurd and often hilarious mistakes. In each episode, hosts Schnebly and Toth delve into true stories of misadventures and miscalculations, from everyday blunders to spectacular

If you would like to

 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Shallow End with Schnebly and Toth is a wildly entertaining podcast that revels in people's absurd and often hilarious mistakes. In each episode, hosts Schnebly and Toth delve into true stories of misadventures and miscalculations, from everyday blunders to spectacular

If you would like to

 ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Shallow End with Schnebly and Toth is a wildly entertaining podcast that revels in people's absurd and often hilarious mistakes. In each episode, hosts Schnebly and Toth delve into true stories of misadventures and miscalculations, from everyday blunders to spectacular

If you would like to

 ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Shallow End with Schnebly and Toth is a wildly entertaining podcast that revels in people's absurd and often hilarious mistakes. In each episode, hosts Schnebly and Toth delve into true stories of misadventures and miscalculations, from everyday blunders to spectacular

If you would like to

 ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Garbage Heist and the Fire Truck Joyride

When it comes to dumb criminal stories, this week’s episode of The Shallow End Podcast might just take the trash-covered cake. JG and Linds explore two jaw-dropping tales of grand theft municipal—one featuring a pair of Alabama geniuses who used a stolen garbage truck as their getaway vehicle in an ATM heist gone gloriously wrong, and another involving an Australian man who took a fire truck for a joyride… sirens blazing.

From sparks flying down Birmingham streets to a cross-jurisdiction chase through New South Wales, it’s a masterclass in bad ideas—where optimism bias meets municipal machinery. The guys dissect what drives people to commit felonies in the least stealthy vehicles possible and find surprising poetry (and Shakespeare) in the stupidity.

Plus, listener mail brings a “petrified wood curse,” an unexpected toddler interruption during mommy and daddy time, and a conversation about Maine slang that’ll make you rethink your “door yard.”

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The Shallow End with Schnebly and Toth is a wildly entertaining podcast that revels in people's absurd and often hilarious mistakes. In each episode, hosts Schnebly and Toth delve into true stories of misadventures and miscalculations, from everyday blunders to spectacular

If you would like to

 ⁠[email protected]⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices