Order of the Phoenix chapter 25. We've got a certain house elf's birthday to celebrate and TV show rumors to discuss! We also have an absolutely massive chapter to go over, featuring Voldemort playing Starcraft and Harry going on a date he blows very badly. Finally, we wrap up with a visit to the time machine to read some pre-Order of the Phoenix blog speculation from 2002.

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Order of the Phoenix chapter 24. The hallowed episode number is here....the funny number. It just so happens that we have a Snape chapter this week, so we get to talk about our favorite professor (besides Lockhart) and an all-around surprisingly excellent segment of the book! We also talk about a bunch of rude and crude things but we probably didn't need the episode 69 excuse for that. Finally, we wrap up with some powerful horny reddit lore.

(Just so folks know the third segment is fairly heavy on some graphic stuff that includes some gentle mocking of peoples' horny reactions to a torture scene in one of the later films)

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Order of the Phoenix chapter 23. Wizards Unite surprise released this morning, so we spend some time chatting about our thoughts on the game as well as Christmas on the Closed Ward, a very strange chapter that brings in a ton of characters to guide Harry through an angst crisis. After that, we read an interview between Katie Couric and JK Rowling from 2003 that features both of them at their meanest.

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Order of the Phoenix chapter 22. It's a roller coaster of an episode this week as we discuss the opening of the new Hagrid ride at Universal, the mysterious appearance of Dobby in someone's driveway, and an honestly absolutely crazy chapter of OOTP. Are paintings alive? How does a snake perform espionage? How does a phoenix perform stealth operations?

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Order of the Phoenix chapter 21. We take a trip in the time machine back to 2005 to read an article trying to explain how Harry Potter invented shipping and learn all about thestrals this week. We also celebrate Draco Malfoy's birthday!

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Order of the Phoenix chapter 20. We had a short chapter and no news this week, so we watched Magic Beyond Words: The JK Rowling Story, a horrible Lifetime film about our favorite treehouse enthusiast. Then we sit down with Hagrid to hear his tale, which is apparently one of the least popular chapters in this book?

Order of the Phoenix chapter 19. It's our 64th episode, which naturally means we need to talk about Quest 64, video game soundtracks, Imogen Heap, Harry Potter sales numbers, and a... pretty okay chapter? We discuss Hermione inventing text messaging and Harry wondering if only bad guys have meetings. Then we commune with Bustle for one of our most lit third segments ever (there are some GoT spoilers if you care)

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Order of the Phoenix chapter 18. We have a HUGE news segment this week, detailing this past week's roller coaster of Pottermore changes. After that, we enter the Room of Requirement chapter with widened and deepened hearts and minds. Finally, we light a candle for the maybe-doomed Pottermore with a celebratory article reading.

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Order of the Phoenix chapter 17. It's a celebrity gossip blowout! We've got Met Gala looks, possible JK Rowling sightings, and some Fantastic Beasts casting news. Also... our reading this week was shockingly good? Maybe there's a plot and themes in this book after all!

(Note: there might be a few construction noises here and there. I did my best to get rid of all the ones I could, but some were happening in the middle of speech)\

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Order of the Phoenix chapter 16. No more Fantastic Beasts movies! Not until 2021, anyway. We discuss the big delay, and theorize what exactly they might be doing with their extra time, and a special guest calls in to help us with a long-standing tradition on the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. Then we chat about OOTP chapter 16, and its increasingly strained portrayal of a wizard world in serious political turmoil. Finally, we check in with Pottermore's strange marketing materials and the one and only Harry Potter subreddit.

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