The Skepticrat

On this week's episode: We replaced Noah with our other smart guy ... We manage to do half as many headlines but take twice as long now that I’m here ... And we learn that Spike Lee can't read, which is why he knows nothing about the abolition of civil rights.

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Headline Sources:

Mark Harris will not be running the new election for NC's ninth district: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/26/us/mark-harris-north-carolina-election.html https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/21/us/mark-harris-nc-voter-fraud.html?module=inline

Michael Cohen describes giant pattern of Trump lies at hearing: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/27/us/politics/michael-cohen-trump.html

Baby cheesing is a real thing that people are doing: https://nypost.com/2019/03/01/why-people-are-throwing-cheese-at-babies/?utmsource=NYPTwitter&utmmedium=SocialFlow&utm_campaign=SocialFlow

Trump/Kim summit collapses with no progress made: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/28/world/asia/trump-north-korea-nuclear-sanctions.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage

On this week's episode: The green new deal is both of those things ... Eli will lose an old friend ... And Virginia abolishes abolition during the intro. And now they're all doing soft shoe.

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Headline Sources:

Green New Deal resolution gets officially submitted: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2019/02/11/whats-actually-green-new-deal-democrats/?utm_term=.b149e2fde390 https://ocasio-cortez.house.gov/sites/ocasio-cortez.house.gov/files/Resolution%20on%20a%20Green%20New%20Deal.pdf

Trump declares national emergency to build wall: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trumps-border-emergency-the-president-plans-a-10-am-announcement-in-the-rose-garden/2019/02/15/f0310e62-3110-11e9-86ab-5d02109aeb01story.html?utmterm=.56fe2bd78687

Mueller recommends 25 years for Paul Manafort: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/15/us/politics/paul-manafort-prosecutors.html

So much more follow-up on blackface stuff and Liam Neeson hate crime stuff since last time: https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/virginia-politics/va-atty-gen-herring-appears-in-blackface-in-photo-from-college-days/2019/02/06/9aa4aff8-2a26-11e9-984d-9b8fba003e81story.html?utmterm=.ecef10832d41 https://www.essence.com/news/virginia-police-sergeant-on-paid-leave-after-antifacist-group-exposes-alleged-white-nationalist-ties/

Mars Rover breaks down; people are weirdly emotional about it: https://www.nasa.gov/press-release/nasas-record-setting-opportunity-rover-mission-on-mars-comes-to-end

Payless is closing and I’m deeply sad: https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2019/02/15/payless-shoesource-all-u-s-stores-liquidating-and-closing/2885949002/

On this week's episode: The governor of Virginia calls blacksies ... Survivalists will seem nominally less crazy ... And we learn that Donald Trump's skin tone isn't from tanning; it's actually from his top-of-the-pyramid Oompa Loompa genes. 

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Headline Sources:

Northam is a bigot with a time machine: https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/virginia-politics/northam-mum-about-his-plans-after-a-flood-of-calls-for-his-resignation-for-racist-and-offensive-photo/2019/02/02/5883402a-26e9-11e9-90cd-dedb0c92dc17story.html?utmterm=.67ad3dc8a2a5

The Supreme Court isn’t getting rid of abortion...YET: https://www.cnn.com/2019/02/01/politics/louisiana-abortion-supreme-court/index.html

Trump interview with the New York Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/31/us/politics/donald-trump-interview-takeaways.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage

Trump administration suspends cold war era arms treaty: https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/following-us-putin-suspends-nuclear-pact-and-promises-new-weapons/2019/02/02/8160c78e-26e3-11e9-ad53-824486280311story.html?utmterm=.2624c959ddd2

Woman paid for hotel rooms for 100 homeless people: https://wgntv.com/2019/02/01/after-one-woman-saved-chicagos-homeless-from-the-cold-an-army-of-strangers-followed-her-lead/

Mitch McConnell says making Election Day a federal holiday is a power grab by Democrats: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/mcconnell-says-bill-that-would-make-election-day-a-federal-holiday-is-a-power-grab-by-democrats/2019/01/30/57421dd6-24bd-11e9-ad53-824486280311story.html?utmterm=.359095d7c763

On this week's episode: Eli will be deemed nonessential during the ongoing shutdown ... Donald Trump gets stuck with a truck full of watermelons after he's forced to change his catering plans last minute ... And all of you promise not to Eli this isn’t a federal job.  

To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat  

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Headline Sources:

Trump cancels Pelosi's flights for spite over SOTU remark as shutdown continues: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-46911478

Buzzfeed: Trump directed Cohen to lie to congress about Trump Tower Moscow negotiations: https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/jasonleopold/trump-russia-cohen-moscow-tower-mueller-investigation

Steve King removed from committee assignments after latest white supremacy remark: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/14/us/politics/steve-king-white-supremacy.html?module=inline

William Barr confirmation hearings: https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/barr-confirmation-hearing-trumps-attorney-general-nominee-likely-to-face-tough-questioning-today-from-senate-panel/2019/01/15/02467a16-15e0-11e9-803c-4ef28312c8b9story.html?utmterm=.f298ad3c032f

Trump serves fast food buffet to Clemson football team during White House visit: https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/1/15/18183617/trump-clemson-mcdonalds-burger-king-wendys-dominos

Man injects semen into his arm to cure back pain: https://www.sciencealert.com/patient-injected-himself-with-semen-thinking-it-would-cure-his-back-pain

On this week's episode: The future is female ... The Kuiper belt will continue to be bafflingly cutsie ... And Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez teams up with Kevin Bacon to legalize dancing at the federal level.

To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat 

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Headline Sources:

Pence and White House officials meet with congressional aides in effort to end shutdown: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/pence-and-white-house-officials-meet-with-congressional-aides-in-effort-to-end-shutdown/2019/01/05/7840bf4a-10fb-11e9-84fc-d58c33d6c8c7story.html?utmterm=.e4f48db61f00

Conservatives panicky about "Impeach the motherfucker" and AOC dancing: https://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/theaterdanc/alexandria-ocasio-cortezs-dance-video-is-goofy-joyful--and-absolutely-nothing-to-be-ashamed-of/2019/01/04/5f3add42-1046-11e9-92b8-6dd99e2d80e1story.html?utmterm=.28adfc9ee011 https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2019/01/04/hours-after-making-history-rep-rashida-tlaib-profanely-promises-impeach-trump/?utmterm=.045a55a1fb75

Congress has women and brown people in it kinda: https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/day-historic-firsts-congress-n954236

New Horizons passes Ultima Thule: https://www.space.com/42903-new-horizons-ultima-thule-flyby-data-intermission.html

China lands on far side of the moon: https://www.space.com/42914-china-far-side-moon-landing-crewed-lunar-plans.html

Kidnapper chases lady into a karate dojo: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/kidnapper-got-more-than-he-bargained-for-when-he-chased-woman-into-karate-dojo/

Trump press conference after Schumer/Pelosi meeting: https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2019/1/4/18168860/trump-news-conference-shutdown

On this week's episode: We give Donald Trump the dickens ... Cancer’s family will express concern over its bout of Ruth Bader Ginsburg ... And the CEO of Google explains to Congress that you have to put the VCR and the TV on channel 3.

To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat 

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Headline Sources:

Government shutdown because Trump doesn't get his wall funding: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/21/us/politics/trump-shutdown-border-wall.html?action=click&module=Spotlight&pgtype=Homepage

Trump withdraws from Syria; Mattis fucks off: https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/a-tumultuous-week-began-with-a-phone-call-between-trump-and-the-turkish-president/2018/12/21/

Google CEO tries to explain internets to old people: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2018/12/11/congresswoman-google-ceo-why-when-i-search-idiot-do-i-get-pictures-trump/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.41e0edfb0856 https://thenextweb.com/insider/2018/12/12/watch-google-ceo-pichai-explains-to-congress-that-google-doesnt-make-iphones/

RBG recovering from lung surgery: https://www.npr.org/2018/12/21/679065534/justice-ruth-bader-ginsburg-undergoes-surgery-for-lung-cancer

On this week's episode: We visit some of the great losers of history ... Wisconsin Republicans have a go at just making democrats illegal ... And PETA can go fuck itself a dead horse.

To make a donation for the Vulgarity For Charity campaign, go here: https://www.modestneeds.org/index.asp

To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat

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Headline Sources:

Democracy unravels in Wisconsin: https://madison.com/ct/news/local/govt-and-politics/what-happened-while-you-slept-a-guide-to-wisconsin-s/article_2b2bb8a3-9166-5ada-9a0a-be3e7deb4486.html

Woman shocked that naming her kid Abcde results in mockery: https://www.washingtonpost.com/transportation/2018/11/29/little-girl-named-abcde-was-mocked-by-southwest-gate-agent-airline-has-apologized/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.df41481301bf

GHWB funeral reminds us of how bad we fucked up in 2016: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/05/us/politics/bush-funeral-national-cathedral.html?action=click&module=Spotlight&pgtype=Homepage

Giuliani doesn’t get Twitter: https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2018/12/05/rudy-giulianis-typo-became-an-anti-trump-message-he-blamed-twitter-this-atlanta-man-pranked-him/?utm_term=.ef65efd0c1a8

French destroy the only things worth going to France for over gas prices: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/dec/02/paris-riots-worst-unrest-decade-with-shops-and-cars-set-alight-gilets-jaunes

PETA says phrases like "bring home the bacon" are comparable to racism and homophobia: https://www.cnn.com/2018/12/05/europe/peta-meat-idioms-scli-intl/index.html

On this week's episode: Donald trump appoints a whipping boy just in case he gets convicted of treason ... We’ll examine a supply side solution to global warming ... And Heath tells California that their wildfire nomenclature should have an exception if the origin is called Camp, Dumpster, or Schoolbus.

To make a donation for the Vulgarity For Charity campaign, go here: https://www.modestneeds.org/index.asp 

To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat 

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Headline Sources:

Congress again calling for protection of Mueller probe against potential Whitaker sabotage: https://thinkprogress.org/republicans-dont-think-mueller-needs-protection-b61a000cf484/ https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2018/11/18/trump-tweet-adam-schiff/2048756002/ https://www.nytimes.com/2018/11/20/us/politics/trump-mueller-questions-answers.html

American preacher guy gets killed on remote island off of India: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/american-killed-remote-islandus5bf57271e4b03b230f9d8393

Ivanka uses private email for gov’t business: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-46271021

Scientists propose dimming the sun with atmospheric sulfate injections to slow global warming: https://www.cnn.com/2018/11/23/health/sun-dimming-aerosols-global-warming-intl-scli/index.html?utmterm=link&utmcontent=2018-11-23T15%3A40%3A04&utmsource=twCNN&utmmedium=social

World chess championship all draws so far: https://www.theguardian.com/sport/live/2018/nov/22/magnus-carlsen-v-fabiano-caruana-world-chess-championship-game-10-live

Trump has a weird hangup about electromagnets: https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/trump-questions-technology-central-to-pentagons-plans-for-launching-aircraft-at-sea/2018/11/23/6b6384c6-ef34-11e8-baac-2a674e91502bstory.html?utmterm=.148bda88efb9

On this week's episode: Eli serves as the midterm’s Eeyore ... Noah assure everyone that it’s because Eli’s knowledge of politics is primarily derived from jerking off to The West Wing ... And Donald Trump calls a rain out on his speech because umbrellas are terrifying.

To make a donation for the Vulgarity For Charity campaign, go here: https://www.modestneeds.org/index.asp

To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat 

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Headline Sources:

SHS tweets doctored video to make Jim Acosta look violent: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/jim-acosta-sarah-sanders-cnn-reporter-white-house-intern-video-doctored/

Trump sends antagonistic tweet about Macron right before meeting in France: https://www.cnn.com/2018/11/10/politics/donald-trump-emmanuel-macron/index.html

Trump fires Sessions, replaces him with “MAGA Edition Chatty Cathy”: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/federal-investigators-scrutinized-whitakers-role-in-patent-company-accused-of-fraud-according-to-people-with-knowledge-of-case/2018/11/09/e826a404-e456-11e8-ab2c-b31dcd53ca6bstory.html?utmterm=.42396f5a0143

Alibaba Singles Day sales hit over $1 billion in 85 seconds: https://www.cnn.com/2018/11/10/tech/alibaba-singles-day/index.html

Idiot troll tries to frame Robert Mueller: https://www.vox.com/2018/10/30/18044110/robert-mueller-jacob-wohl-jack-burkman-surefire

On this week's episode: We all collectively created the MAGA bomber with our imaginations ... A Florida man will put the “Aiyee!” back in IED ... And Megyn Kelly considers blackface affirmative action to get rehired by NBC.

To support our show on Patreon, go here: https://www.patreon.com/skepticrat

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Headline Sources:

Turns out mail bombing campaign was not a false flag operation by Democrats: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/false-flag-conspiracies-fly-after-explosives-mailed-to-prominent-democrats/

Shooting at Pittsburgh synagogue: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/27/us/active-shooter-pittsburgh-synagogue-shooting.html

Trump admits MBS might have been involved in Khashoggi killing: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/oct/23/jamal-khashoggi-trump-cover-up-sanctions-visas

Megyn Kelly finds out that blackface is offensive: https://www.usnews.com/news/top-news/articles/2018-10-26/nbc-says-megyn-kelly-today-not-returning-to-the-air

Trump says he’s a nationalist: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2018/10/24/trump-says-hes-nationalist-what-means-why-its-controversial/1748521002/

Trump uses unsecured phone to discuss national secrets: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/24/us/politics/trump-phone-security.html