It's a landmark episode, as we're just ten away from a big round number, so we celebrated in the only way we know how - by talking rubbish with slightly patchy sound quality.

In more detail, this week Dan discovered a superpower, we map the UK in condiments, Ian is a traitor (he's not, we all support his new endeavours), and someone's re-invented something that didn't need to be re-invented.

Parts of this Slump went out of date by the time we'd made it, and I don't mean Condiment Corner. I'm talking about the various references to the football, as this was recorded before our brave boys left the World Cup. However, it doesn't make much difference and there's much to distract you from all things football-y.

This podcast was meant to come out on Friday, yet here I am, uploading it on Monday morning. For many of you this won't matter at all, and for those of you for whom it does matter, well I'm sorry you had to wait three days to get your Slump fix.

However, with topics of conversation including a big letter "H", how to get the most from your ketchup, and much more besides, I'm sure you'll forgive the delay in creating such vital content.

We've got WORLD CUP FEVER! Or it might be allergies. Either way there's football chat, condiment chat, and much, much less in this week's edition of someone's favourite podcast.

Is margarine a condiment? Is it possible to stretch a footballing metaphor too far? Is a smell-based alarm clock a good invention? The quick answer to all these questions is: No, yes and no, but you'll have much more fun listening to the long, rambling answers, which is basically what this podcast is.

A little later than normal, but here nonetheless, Slump 285 is here. This week we didn't have much to discuss, but that didn't stop us stretching out a couple of topics for ages, until there was enough for a podcast. Also, we invented perhaps the most innovative app yet seen by man - the Bob to Robert Converter.

Find out more inside...

Well it all got a bit technical this week, as Ian and Brendan weren't free to record on the same day as each other. Not to be put off by a ridiculous plan, Dan simply recorded separate podcasts with each of them and stuck it all together to make what is almost a normal Slump. But not quite.

It's hard to explain, you'll just have to listen.

This is a short episode, and so this is description.

Not only does this Slump contain some wonderful chat about rock bands, old crows, and fresh condiments, it also features at one point the rudest word in the English language. The C one. So do be careful if you think that'll ruin your day. Otherwise, dig in and enjoy the heck out of this podcast. Bye bye.

Hark! What's that, creeping around the internet? Don't scare it, for it's a flighty beast. Why, 'tis a new Slump, episode 281 no less, in which you'll find tales of annoying waiters, lazy men, and condiments a plenty. Lap it up, like a little cat.