The Snark Factor 3 in 3

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The IRS did better than expected. Buc-ee’s is expanding. Dolly Parton just entered the travel stop wars.

That’s today’s 3 in 3.

First up, the IRS somehow managed to issue refunds better than expected despite job cuts, leadership turnover, and tax law changes. Which raises a question nobody in government wants to ask too loudly: how many people did you need again?

Then, Buc-ee’s is opening 15 more locations between now and 2031. More clean bathrooms. More Beaver Nuggets. More brisket. More gas stations the size of small nations.

And finally, Dolly Parton opened her Tennessean Travel Stop in Cornersville, Tennessee. Unlike Buc-ee’s, Dolly’s place welcomes truckers. Then she explained why she got into the truck stop business:

“I couldn’t leave it to beavers.”

Perfect.

And just like that, America’s travel stop wars have officially begun.

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Three stories. Three minutes. Let’s go.

Today: intelligence agencies warn AI could make cyberattacks much worse within months, Trader Joe’s shoppers lose their minds over $2.99 mini tote bags, and a dog ends up sitting on an airplane tray table.

The tray table.

Because apparently the future is robots stealing passwords, grocery bags becoming investment strategies, and dog butt where your pretzels go.

Hackers. Totes. Dog butts.

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The 3 in 3 is back.

Tonight, we start with a disturbing update in the disappearance of Nancy Guthrie, the mother of Today show anchor Savannah Guthrie. CNN reports that a second note connected to the case said Guthrie had died shortly after being kidnapped. More than 20 weeks later, the investigation remains active and ongoing.

Then, M&M’s are going dye-free, and apparently, blue and brown didn’t survive the transition. Mars says those colors are causing production problems, but don’t worry — the full lineup may be back by 2028. That’s right. We can put a robot on Mars, but we need two more years to make a blue M&M.

Finally, where have I been?

A few of you have asked why the 3 in 3 disappeared for a couple of weeks. Fair question. The answer is: Eat Drink Smoke has been taking over my life. In a good way.

For those who don’t know, I co-host the nationally syndicated Eat Drink Smoke Radio Show with Tony Katz. Lately, we’ve been building up the EDS YouTube channel, cutting more video, posting more clips, organizing the segments, and sharing everything over at EatDrinkSmokeShow.com.

So yes, I’ve been busy. But The Snark Factor isn’t going anywhere.

And apparently, neither am I.

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The House passed a resolution aimed at ending the Iran War, which means Congress has reached the “maybe we should discuss the war” portion of the war.

UN researchers warn AI could double data center power and water use by 2030, because the cloud is apparently a hot building that needs a lake.

A Florida family is suing Campbell’s and Walmart after claiming their SpaghettiOs had moving worms or parasites, which violates the basic canned pasta agreement.

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Sources: The Hill, Reuters, New York Post.

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The White House Correspondents’ Dinner is back on for July 24th, Trump says he’ll attend, and Washington’s strangest tuxedo gathering now comes with upgraded security.

Michelob Ultra has passed Bud Light as America’s top-selling beer by volume in bars and restaurants, proving the country still wants beer — just beer that feels like it owns running shoes.

The 2027 Masters ticket lottery is open through June 20th, giving golf fans another chance to be politely rejected by Augusta National in July.

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Sources: AP, PennLive, Golf.com.

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Byron Allen takes over CBS late night, makes the network money, and somehow the media reaction is still about rich, white, male hosts defending another rich, white, male host.

Carnival reported that nearly six million cruise travelers may have had personal information exposed, because apparently, identity theft now boards before you do.

Trader Joe’s is opening twenty-five new stores, which is wonderful news for anyone who enjoys frozen dumplings and parking lots designed during a hostage situation.

Yes, this one runs a little over four minutes, because apparently three stories needed overtime today.

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Sources: The Hollywood Reporter, The Hill, PennLive.

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Iranian state TV says there may be an unofficial draft framework with the U.S. to reopen commercial shipping through the Strait of Hormuz, but the deal is already running into trouble.

Jill Biden now says she feared Joe Biden was having a stroke during the 2024 debate, which is quite the update from the post-debate “great job” spin.

And desperate single men are reportedly paying thousands to online dating gurus for profile audits, AI photos, and the chance to become “elite,” because apparently romance needed a consulting package.

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Sources: Reuters, CNN, New York Post.

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Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI, says AI probably won’t bring the jobs apocalypse, which is reassuring in the way a volcano saying “relax” is reassuring.

Royal Caribbean is cracking down on cruise cabin door decorations, and the upside-down pineapple community may never emotionally recover.

Popeyes is bringing biscuit mix to grocery stores, so America can finally make edible drywall in the privacy of its own home.

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Sources: Reuters, New York Post.

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President Trump says a deal with Iran is largely negotiated, while Iran says obstacles remain and no agreement is imminent.

Comcast is now selling YouTube TV to internet customers after losing more than 10 million TV subscribers.

And thieves are allegedly using the “Screw Method” to keep gas pumps charging your card after you drive away.

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Sources: CBS News, Reuters, Cord Cutters News, Click2Houston.

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Memorial Day began as a day to remember America’s fallen service members, and somehow also became the official holiday of patio furniture discounts and arguing over whether a lawn mower counts as “patriotic.”

Cory Booker says Democrats desperately need new leadership, which is bold because nothing says fresh start like the same people announcing that the party needs different people.

Lowe’s says customers are backing away from big DIY projects, because apparently Americans have reached the point where even replacing a bathroom vanity feels like applying for a mortgage.

If you’re listening regularly and haven’t subscribed yet, that’s how you get this every weekday.

Sources: Associated Press, The Hill, TheStreet.

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