The Snark Factor 3 in 3

Higher fuel prices have some Americans rethinking Memorial Day travel, Kroger says it plans to cut prices on thousands of items, and Eli Lilly’s experimental weight-loss drug is showing major results.

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Sources: WXXV, Reuters, WRAL.

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The Surgeon General’s office warns about kids and screen time, TSA reminds campers that propane canisters do not belong on airplanes, and South Park gets a Season 29 premiere date.

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Sources: CNN, Parade, Variety.

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Today’s Snark Factor 3 in 3 is coming out in the evening because I’m still fooling around with what time of day I’m releasing these.

Rubio talks directly to Cubans about a “new path,” LaGuardia discovers the airport experience can apparently include sinkholes, and Intuit cuts workers while leaning harder into AI.

Give this one a listen and let me know what you think: morning, afternoon, or evening? I’m still experimenting, which is a professional way of saying I am guessing with confidence.

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Sources: Ground News, Reuters, CNBC.

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Cuba is warning of a bloodbath, which is exactly the kind of international tension cable news producers treat like natural Viagra.

The TSA says it is not looking for your weed, which is reassuring right up until Caleb at security finds your weed.

And MGM may be closing its remaining Vegas buffets, because apparently America has decided unlimited shrimp was too beautiful to survive.

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Sources: ABC17/CNN, SFGate, Casino.org.

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President Trump says the clock is ticking on Iran.

Gen X is still carrying student loan debt from an era when “going online” made a noise.

And Showtime may have quietly become less of a TV brand and more of a hallway inside Paramount+.

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Sources: Daily Mail, Reuters, Fortune, Abbott, Cord Cutters News.

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Today’s episode starts heavy.

CNN reports a new investigation says sexual violence during the October 7th Hamas attack on Israel was systematic and widespread.

That is not setup material. Some crimes should be named plainly.

Then, CNN reports the CIA has escalated secret operations against drug cartels inside Mexico, which sounds like a Tom Clancy paperback someone accidentally declassified.

And finally, the New York Post says nearly half of Americans are in a “fun drought.”

Seems fair. We have endless entertainment. Not nearly enough actual fun.

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Sources: CNN, KRDO, New York Post.

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Today’s Snark Factor 3 in 3 has Israel rethinking U.S. military aid, Spirit Airlines leaving behind the dream of paying extra to bring your knees, and Bumble becoming less Bumble.

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Three stories. Three minutes. Let’s go.

Sources: CTV News, Reuters, New York Post.

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Today’s episode starts with Iran offering a counterproposal the U.S. rejected as “totally unacceptable,” because apparently international diplomacy is now two heavily armed men in a doorway saying, “You first.”

Then we get some health news: a study says 8,500 steps a day may help people keep weight off after losing it. Not lose it. Keep it off. Which means weight loss is apparently less of an achievement and more of a subscription service with sneakers.

And Texas is suing Netflix, accusing the company of spying on children and designing addictive features. Netflix says the lawsuit lacks merit. Texas says Netflix may have been watching viewers while viewers were watching Netflix.

Which is upsetting.

Especially because I thought Netflix was only judging me for watching eight episodes of Murder Barn Nebraska Secrets.

Sources: The Hill, ABC News, and Reuters.

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Today’s Snark Factor 3 in 3 takes us from unpaid child support to empty airports to the quiet surveillance state hiding between the mulch and the toilet flappers.

The State Department is cracking down on parents who owe serious child support by revoking passports.

A regional airport outside Pittsburgh has no commercial flights after Spirit Airlines disappeared from the schedule.

And Home Depot and Lowe’s are using automated license plate readers at some stores, because apparently buying weed killer now needs a timestamp.

The audio is above.

Three stories.

Three minutes.

Let’s go.

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Today’s Snark Factor 3 in 3 starts with a purported Jeffrey Epstein suicide note being unsealed, because apparently that story still had bonus levels.

Then the IRS may owe refunds to millions of Americans for COVID-era penalties and interest, but, naturally, you may have to file Form 843 to get them.

Because Washington never just hands you money.

It sends you on a clerical scavenger hunt.

And finally, personal items from Matthew Perry’s estate are going up for auction, with proceeds benefiting addiction recovery work through the Matthew Perry Foundation.

So today we learned Epstein’s story got weirder, the IRS may owe you money if you complete the sacred tax scroll, and Matthew Perry’s Batman ping-pong table may do more good than half of Washington.

Which is unfair to the table.

Listen above.

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