Send us a text

This week, we're sharing a conversation we had with Tim and Aubrey Chaves from Faith matters about why we wanted to launch this podcast, The Soloists. It was fun being interviewed by a married couple with kids; we focused the question on how married people sometimes--with the best of intentions--miss the mark when talking to singles in the Church.

We discuss how being single can be an isolating experience, especially in a culture that often views marriage as the ultimate milestone. We share deeply personal stories about what it’s like to navigate a church community where singleness sometimes feels like a problem to be solved rather than a valid and whole way of being, and season or situation of life that all of us, no matter our marital status, can authentically relate to in some way.

We hope you enjoy this conversation, and let us know what you think!

Send us a text

Welcome to the Soloists! We're here to talk about connection and beauty in this lonely world of ours, using the existentially-chaotic experience of being single Mormons as our launch point.

This week, we do a deep dive on the Latter-day Saint singles ward. Love them or hate them, the LDS singles ward might be the most elaborate experiment with singles-exclusive religious community that is out there, anywhere. Since the LDS Church recently raised the age limit for singles wards, now is the perfect time to assess their legacy.

A singles ward is a Latter-day Saint congregation made up only of single people. These wards don’t just provide a religious experience, but also a wrap-around social system for these singles. While it’s not a requirement, it’s  culturally encouraged for all single people, previously between the ages of 18-31 and now between 18-35, to go to a singles ward until they get married or until they age out. Once you’re in this singles system, if you don’t get yourself hitched, you could go a long time without being around married people or children or the elderly at church. The question we’ll be asking in our conversation today is how the constant focus on marital status affects our belonging in the Church community.

Presumably, singles wards help singles feel a sense of belonging during what might be an isolating life phase, especially in such a family-centered church.  But when it comes to belonging, how do you highlight what might be an obstacle to belonging without constantly reminding people that they don't belong? How do you build special venues to support a group without ghettoizing them from the broader community? Is it possible that in shining such a blinding light on marital status, people are made to feel more vulnerable than they might otherwise feel?

To answer these questions, we'll be talking with a scholar--BYU English professor Sharon Harris--who researched and published on the history of singles wards.