The Squeeze Baseball Show

For this episode of the greatest baseball podcast west of the mighty Mississippi River, Michael and Tyler venture where no sane man has gone before: Ohio (as you can guess, Michael is not sane so he’s already been there before). While in this magical and fairytale land, which they don’t find out until later isn’t actually Ohio but instead their own homes, Tyler becomes a gleeful bard that entertains the entire court while Michael disappears for months at a time, claiming to be at work but we all know he’s actually binge watching the Adam West Batman series on his recently installed smart fridge. In the baseball world, the playoffs have started, and the guys give their predictions on who they think will be making it through the first round as well as winning the World Series. Just in case you forgot: the Astros are still a horrible, no good sporting organization.

Yeah yeah yeah you know by now that this is a description for this brand new Nintendo 64 episode of The Squeeze, but do you know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Tyler knows, but he won’t tell Michael because Michael needs it for the dangerous Destroy-The-Cubs-Inator he’s been inventing. For some reason, the San Diego Padres are hitting all of the Grand Slams and making all the trades that would normally occur in a 162 game season all by themselves, and the New York Yankees are buying large quantities of bandages and gauze because literally everyone on their team has decided to get hurt. The bois decide to go over who they believe are the best Angels of all time, and we’re not talking Jesus ones (although a magical book from Utah tells me those are important, too). Jose Abreu can hit some dingers, and his teammate Lucas Giolito can throw some baseballs. Civil change and justice is super duper important. Also _____.

For this amazingly awesome episode of The Squeeze, Tyler faces off against Dwayne The Rock Johnson at Wrestlemania while Michael literally does nothing because this is the last chance he’s going to be able to with the Cardinals’ updated COVID schedule. Speaking of the Cardinals, they get to return to playing baseball (finally), meanwhile the Reds come down with the COVID bug. There’s a whole lot more controversial stuff happening with pitchers on the Indians and old people are getting angry over young baseball players doing awesome stuff. Mookie Betts, Mike Trout, and Fernando Tatis Jr are literally doing everything this year, and the Dodgers are doing good things, plus they have a good baseball team. Don’t say mean things with a mic next to your face. Also Juan Soto.

For this episode of the Squeeze, where the episode number is representative of the number of missed strike calls Angel Hernandez makes in one at bat, Tyler opens a best selling Asian Fusion restaurant where the customers get free gold plated corn dogs with every purchase while Michael reveals that he’s been accepted to work on Dr. House’s medical team as an expert on perineum related injuries. This episode might as well just be the What The Fuck Is This Shit episode, because there’s so much going on with baseball that makes us angry or confused. COVID-19 continues to mess everything up everywhere, a lot of pitchers are getting hurt as well as Giancarlo Stanton, and, just to restate this fact, Angel Hernandez is a horrible, terrible, super bad umpire. Also Michael is Library Karen.

For this prime numbered episode of the Squeeze, Tyler decides to abandon his life long dreams of being an animal photographer to pursue other interests in the aquatic basket weaving world while Michael goes on the hunt for his missing wisdom teeth that were stolen by an angry and vengeful witch doctor. For the baseball stuff, Mookie Betts is at the forefront of some crazy money stuff, Black Lives Matter is an important topic throughout the world, Opening Day happened (as did Joe Kelly), and COVID-19 is ravaging baseball in a super not cool way. The Royals get some love for the first time since 2015 as well. Also Patrick Mahomes.

In this senior citizen discount episode, Tyler recites “I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General” while rollerblading across a pit of snakes as Michael channels his inner Fonz and jumps a shark on vibranium-plated water skis that Iron Man gave him. In baseball news, the boys talk about Buster Posey and Aroldis Chapman, as well as Ken Griffey Jr. having an awesome documentary made about him. Seattle gets a lot of shout outs because of their overabundance of rain, coffee, and their good baseball players. Barstool also is mentioned, but not for pizza review related reasons. Also Canada.

In this quick episode of The Squeeze, Tyler realizes the true meaning of friendship while Michael searches for the Fountain of Youth. All of this takes place inside of a closet in which Tom Cruise is hiding in, and our enchantingly handsome hosts discuss philosophy and literature of the Ancient Greeks, plus some baseball stuff. Canada is mentioned, which is nice, as are the Mets, which aren’t as nice. Oh and baseball is back btw forgot to mention that part.

On this super exercise sweaty and baseball sunburnt episode, Tyler and Michael talk about the latest and hopefully greatest new negotiations between the MLB and player’s association, they give their opinions on Albert Pujols being an overall good person, broaden their knowledge on a new signing by the Mets with some political ties, and decide that talking about the Pirates for an extended period of time will make quality content. Tyler hit a dinger with a broken wood bat. Also Shania Twain.

Things get REALLY weird in this one... jkjk. Michael & Tyler give an update on the most recent negotiations between the league and players union to bring back baseball. The boys give an in-depth recap on this year's first round draft picks as well as their all-time Rockies lineups!

Tyler and Michael team up with Dani from Dani’s dugout and give you their all time Yankees lineups, and things get more fun from there when they talk about the new proposals for playing in the age of COVID. Also Michael is Italian.