The Strong Within Affirmation Podcast

Smiling Sundays - #323 November 19th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Believe in Myself, So I Can Believe More In Others

We don’t want to trust people…because we don’t trust ourselves. It sounds counterintuitive, but it’s a safe way to put the blame elsewhere…to say people will let us down, that people give up on us, to continue running from what scares us…and to never confront the boogey man that has always lived within us. In efforts to protect ourselves, we continue with the lame old untruthful story, that maybe it was easier to blame others than to believe in ourselves first.

We think that it’s our duty in life is to survive. It’s what we’ve done since caveman days, but we have a higher duty…our duty is to become more…and by doing this, the natural by product will be believing in others as well. People will not be as aware as you, and that’s not a conceded statement…it’s a blessing statement…and it’s a commitment statement that now that you have that knowledge and awareness—you cannot sit on it and you cannot wait on it. The more you wait, the more you not only let others down…but you ultimately let yourself down. And maybe the better questions to be asked are:

When you were struggling…wouldn’t you have liked it if someone would have found a way to believe in you during your hardest times?

Wouldn’t you have liked it if someone helped pick you back up when you had fallen?

Wouldn’t you have liked it if you had someone who would never give up on you?

In the movie Good Will Hunting Robin Williams character says: “Some people can’t believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first.”

No man is an island. And we are better together. And maybe this might sound selfish, but when you believe more in yourself, you help more of yourself…but you also automatically help those around you. By being more you help others to become more. You become the rock, you become the example, you become a source of energy for people. But don’t feel you have to be the source, just know that by believing in yourself you become a source naturally. God has given us all the tools to be His eyes, hands, and heart. And when we understand we are a part of that source energy…how can you not believe more in yourself? How can you not believe more in something greater? How can you not believe more in others?

You have been blessed with this knowledge…and the others, well…they haven’t realized it just yet…it’s now your job to help them realize it through your life. So let us go out and educate people that they are worthy, that they deserve to be loved, that we won’t give up on them, and that when they believe more in themselves…their lives will change naturally too.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
What are your daily thoughts that say…you can’t do something? What are those little comments that tell yourself that you aren’t good enough, that you couldn’t do that, that it would be too hard, or that it’s out of your wheel house. Yes, we aren’t meant to do everything in the world…but we are meant to shine in what we do.

That little negative voice that’s always keeping us safe, and erring on the side of caution so we don’t fail, does us a disservice. It originally was there to protect us, but it goes on for years and becomes louder and louder…and soon it becomes the voice of truth for us. But if you start becoming aware of the times you begin doubting yourself, this is the spark that can change a flicker into a wild fire. And when directed correctly, a beautiful pathway can be set ablaze for you in finding the change you desire. If you aren’t aware, you can’t change. So this week write down the negative things that come in your mind about how you can’t…and rewrite the statement into how you CAN.

• If you are saying I could never write a book…maybe you could rewrite it to say: a book isn’t a one-time sitting. It’s a collection of chapters so I will make an outline and write one chapter at a time…not a whole book in one sitting.
• If it’s about being a great painter like someone you admire, maybe instead of comparing yourself to their work…you could say I have my own talents, and I have things I would like to get better at. So instead of looking at where I’m not as good as this person I will look at where my strengths are. I will find ways to combine my strengths and the work to better my so called rough areas … in becoming my own unique painter.
• If you’re single or in a bad relationship…instead of saying I will always be alone or that I’m meant to have bad luck in love: what if you were to say, I deserve to be loved and I will begin loving myself how I need to be…so that I create the atmosphere to allow more love into my life. When I change…people around me change. When I love myself…I see more love, and I allow people to love me back.

I Believe in Myself, So I Can Believe More In Others

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Synergy Saturdays-#322 November 18th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Surround Myself With Higher Energy

We focus on what drains us more than what energizes us. I rarely get sick like I used to because I don’t focus on sickness, I focus on health. It may sound like semantics…but it’s a different source of energy you’re putting your attention to.

The body and mind are very capable things, and when we focus it correctly it helps us. If we stop fighting our bodies and minds we allow the natural process of healing. I’ve gotten into many hateful responses from certain clients and loved ones when I talked about focusing on healing instead of sickness…as they would get defensive saying that they weren’t focusing on sickness. I get it, it feels like I’m saying they’re doing something wrong, but really I’m wanting them to shift their focus ever so slightly. I know when I’ve felt sick it’s easier to let sickness take over than to focus efforts and energies on doing something different.

And that’s why I believe sickness takes over so easily…people think it’s about fighting sickness and not letting it near them…but it’s not a concept of fighting but an idea of pivoting your focus more onto healing. When you fight sickness, you focus on sickness, and when you focus on sickness you drain yourself. You drain your mind and your body. And to work on pivoting your mind towards healing when you don’t feel well, is a hard task to do. It’s a process of being fully present. It’s a process of being fully awake and keeping your attention on health and healing at all times…and I know when I felt bad…it was easier to give in to sickness, it was easier to stop fighting and to let it win, it was easier to take a pill than to allow the slower healing process of the body do its work.

Over the past 10 years I’ve minimized my sick times. I used to get sick twice a year. It’s not that I can’t get sick, in fact I’ve gotten sick during very stressful times in my life, and during times I wasn’t taking care of myself. But I’ve become so in tune with my body, I hear the whispers it gives me when I need to change the direction I’ve been going in. I usually get this tickle in my throat and that’s the first sign something needs to change. I then begin analyzing what I’ve been doing. Most likely I’ve been staying up too late, I’ve been focusing on stressful negative things over abundantly, and I’ve not been being in alignment with things that make me feel healthy. So I take heed to that message immediately. I begin going to bed early and doing affirmation meditations that focus my mind on relaxation and healing right before I go to sleep.

We have a greater power over ourselves than we think we do. Being in the personal training industry and life coaching industry I’ve found ways to control my heart better, my blood pressure, the chemicals within my body, and my breathing…and many other so called things that we think we don’t have control over, that actually if we pay more attention….we start changing that. We think that certain things just work and that it’s up to the body to tell it what to do, and while that’s partly true…we are the overriding factor in all of that. When we learn about the power of focusing our thoughts, our breathing, visualization, and the power of alignment with things bigger than just ourselves… our lives change physically, mentally, and emotionally. You in essence, become a new person.

We spend so much time fighting things in life. And yes, life can be hard and cruel…but it can also be beautiful when we see the control we have over ourselves in life. You are not the victim that everything happens to…you are the conduit to something more in this life…you are the channel to your happiness, to your healing, and to your overall wellbeing. As in life I’ve learned the more you fight something, the more it persists and tries to overtake you…but the more you focus on higher more powerful thoughts and energies…then the more you become those things.

It sounds too good to be true…but like the saying of: you are what you eat…you also, are what you think. So instead of fighting, start pivoting away from focusing on what’s holding you back and pivot towards what you want. Start aligning yourself with higher energies…and soon you’ll find you’ll begin encompassing more of them.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
What have you been focusing on that drains you? Sometimes we’re unaware that the way we think, or what we focus on, isn’t the best way for ourselves. When you learn to hear your body’s whispers, then it doesn’t need to shout to get your attention. Sickness might be an easy process to look at for the moment. What are the thoughts that go through your head when you get sick? Do you say in your mind “I won’t get sick, I can’t sick, I don’t have time for sickness?” Do you say, “not again…this is one too many times this year?” Do you focus more on NOT getting sick rather than pivoting your focus towards healing…pivoting your focus towards knowing your body is an amazing healing machine and can do wonderful things when you don’t stress about sickness?

When you start to get sick what do you physically do? Do you start taking vitamin C, do you start taking those sick prevention vitamin packets like Airborne or EmergenC, do you get the chicken soup out and ready? You can definitely take those products…there’s nothing wrong with them…but it’s about looking at the thoughts that happen behind taking those things. And again, like our thoughts above…we seem to focus more on NOT getting sick rather than focusing on health. I know it sounds like semantics…but it’s a whole different energy. When you look at the focus and energy you create before you take them…you might just find that you allow your body to do what it does best…heal you. And not because of something else, but because you took that initiative.

I Surround Myself With Higher Energy

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Fantastic Fridays-#321 November 17th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Simplify The Process

I was working with a life coaching student of mine and we were focusing on organization within her home. Our sessions can vary from week to week, but we usually focus on a few topics in our sessions together… one being creative, another being better life and daily habits, and the last being organization. It could be said that all those topics really fall into organization in one manner or another because if we don’t have form of order than we cannot achieve what we want to…at least not in the capacity that we wish to.

For her to be more creative in her life, we’ve had to find ways to organize her materials better so they are easily accessible, so they can be found, and so they don’t take over an area and then that hinders her creativity. For her when she can’t find materials she has to go buy new ones and thus the clutter thumbprint upon her house becomes bigger.

We decided to look over the things in her house to help her get a better handle on her game plan for the holidays ahead. She wanted her house to be in order for the company that would be coming, and she needed another eye to help her see things from a different angle. And she needed someone to help her formulate the dialogue that was in the back of her mind that she couldn’t fully get out with her organizational stumbling blocks. As we walked around, I asked questions to help me get a handle on what the purpose of the room is meant to be. I said what my first impressions were on what I saw in each room she wanted to focus on; and then I formulated questions on things such as what’s holding you back, how do you want this room to feel, what’s missing, or anything I could think of…to get her thinking differently about where she was stuck.

It’s not that we always need someone to answer the riddle for us, but that we need someone to poke us out of our confusion or stumbling blocks to see things another way…and to get a different energy to get movement. I’ve known her for a while, and so I know how she thinks and processes things, so I wanted to simplify her organization efforts that worked with her strengths. She was overwhelmed, which I understood. And when you feel overwhelmed it’s easy to be busy, but not really be productive in the manner we wish to be. Thus never fully reaching the goals we set, and sweeping things under the rug, as we never get real traction on the problem we want to solve.

I said to her, “we need to simplify this process. Let’s break it down into three steps to manage all of this organization more easily.” So we talked and came up with 3 phases towards movement. Each phase might have multiple steps or processes under it…but we knew we needed to compartmentalize the efforts to make it more manageable for her.

So for each room she wanted to focus on for her holiday goals we came up with the 3 phases of

• Clear Out
• Livable
• Cleanable

The first process was to clear out and semi organize things into a cluster that could be moved into a more proper place. We’ve worked on the utilizing the key phrase of “everything has a home” which means that everything has a proper place and should always go with its likened things We wanted to make sure she could clear out the things that didn’t belong, so we could get working on the next phase.

The next phase was to make it livable. She wanted people to be comfortable and for people to be able to sit and enjoy whatever was going on in that room instead of having things that cluttered up or blocked people from being able to really sit down or relax in that room.

And the last phase was to make it cleanable. Which meant that it was in great organizational order where it only needed maintenance to keep it in this state. It was the final stage that was just about the normal upkeep of cleaning each week or month that kept it in the livable and comfortable order that she wished it to be.

So by simplifying the process of organizing, she was able to feel hopeful about the deadline of getting things ready for Thanksgiving and it not having to be perfect. We get overwhelmed with the whole process of what we want. We see the end goal of what we wish and we freeze because we say that we could never get there…at least in the time we want. It overwhelms our mind and thus our brain will bookmark the feeling of getting stuck every time we think about or try to do that activity. It literally will freeze us every time we try to work on the thing that’s holding us up.

When I used to work in sales, they called it the 10,000-pound phone. What they meant, was it was so hard to pick up that phone to start your sales calls. And that’s because when I would think about the calls, I would focus on all the people who were going to say no, how would I ever get them from uninterested to wanting to buy, or that no matter how many calls I would make I’d spend hours calling businesses getting the run around trying to get the decision maker on the phone. I literally came up with hundreds of reasons why it would be so hard to make those calls. And so I dreaded the calls, instead of looking at it in a better way.

Maybe I could have simplified the process of focusing on getting a certain number of calls a day no matter what, and then working on trying to get a certain number of decision makers on the phone that day, and then working on bettering my communication skills on showing people how I could make their life better by providing them with what I was selling.

I spent so much time thinking sales was about convincing people to do what I wanted them to do. And I dreaded sales, because I felt I was forcing people to do things they didn’t want to do. But when I look at sales differently and look at it as a communication process on showing people how I can help them…it changes the whole equation. It’s not about forcing anymore but about helping people. I spent so much time focusing on the end result and trying to get people to do things…instead of showing people that there was a better way and I could be the solution. And by thinking that way, I’m sure I would get better at my craft and be more enthusiastic to talk with and help people.

Everything we do in life is a process. Things that we’ve been doing our whole life may seem like it’s one process, but it’s taken years to refine that habit. So the main question shouldn’t be how much faster can I get a process done…but is it working to the capacity that I wish it to be? Am I achieving the main goal I want as effectively as possible. If not, maybe it’s time to look at how you can better your processes.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
How can you simplify a stumbling block in your life into 3 phases that make sense for you? If you want to have more phases that fine…but the more you can simplify the process the easier it will be to manage the bigger goal ahead. And once you get those phases locked, begin listing the steps to help you get to that end goal. So brainstorm, and write down, how you could simplify a stumbling block in your life into 3 phrases. And then write down the steps that you would take to make that phases successful. By doing this, I can guarantee it will help you see a goal in a new light and also make it manageable to finish it out. My mentor used to say don’t be like Nike…Don’t just do it… Just get it done.

I Simplify The Process

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Thoughtful Thursdays-#320 November 16th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

Mistakes Make Me Better

I was talking with my writing accountability partner the other day. We make sure to schedule in a time to meet as it can be hard with our busy schedules, but we’re committed to our goals and to helping each other out. And in our chat this past week he was feeling stuck in what direction to go. He was in that analysis of paralysis mode trying to decide where to put his focus.

Three things cluttered his mind…finishing his book, starting a blog, and starting a podcast all while figuring out how to juggle his two other two jobs he was working. As he looked into the specifics of writing a blog he got caught in the rabbit hole of all the small details and then spent hours researching SEO. He then questioned if he should start a podcast first, or start it with the blog… and what would be the most appropriate title so he wouldn’t be pigeon holed incase his title didn’t encapsulate where he would go in the future. All while deciding the direction of his book.

On our call he said he’d spent a few hours watching videos on all these things. And I know I’ve been here many times, in fact it’s easy for me to get stuck here again if I don’t have clarity in what I want to do. So I asked him a question:

Are you trying to reach people, or are you trying to be perfect?

And immediately he said reach people, as he said it with a lot of energy. So I asked him what avenue would be best for him to focus on now, and put something out there. We get so caught in having things to be perfect that we don’t get our work or our message out into the world. We’re afraid of it not being good enough, we are afraid of it not being perfect enough, and thus we never get it out into the world to fine tune it.

It’s scary to put yourself out in the world. Whether it be your thoughts in a blog, podcast, or book; whether it be asking someone out on a date that you’re interested…and unsure if they’ll say yes; whether it be working on your current relationship by being open, honest, and vulnerable with someone you don’t want to disappoint; or whether it be taking a chance on yourself to do something that you’ve been worried you might not be able to do—such as go back to school, change to new job that you want, or take a pay cut to find a job that is less stressful on you.

We all have had our own life tragedies, and I keep reminding myself that no matter what has happened…it’s going to be ok. The mistake that feels world ending will work itself out or make more sense someday. In the past…I’ve put more faith in the negative continuing to happen rather than having a faith in the good continually blessing my life. God has always provided me with what I needed…in fact He provided the right struggles for me so I could become stronger for the next phase in my life. But until I could let go of the pain and hurt, until I could let go of trying to be perfect…I would stay in my confusion, I would stay in my darkness, and I would stay stuck…in places I wasn’t meant to be in.

We strive for perfection because we want to put something great out in the world, but perfection gives us reasons and excuses for us not move. It gives us a reason to stay comfortable…and anything or anyone that’s ever made huge changes had to be tested, challenged, and be taken out of their comfort zone. Everything you want… is right outside of your comfort zone. So while it may feel like the end of the world to make mistakes, they are just learning tools for you, they are strengthening tools for you, and they are the make-up of life. They help to make us more beautiful. I’ve never met a beautiful person who wasn’t beaten up by life, and still continued to keep moving forward through all of their struggles…because in the end…they knew something more was on the other side. Your mistakes don’t define you, what you do after your mistakes…will.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
What’s keeping you from moving forward because of a perfection mentality? What’s something you want to do, but you’ve told yourself that it’s not really all that important because you’re afraid of looking silly making mistakes, or not feeling good enough when you try to tackle it?  You are…your only obstacle. You won’t be great at something the first time you try it, it takes practice and building your gifts up to become better at them. We live this lie where we see people doing things we want to…and say, “I could never be as good as them.” The root of that lie is we haven’t seen what that person we admired went through to get to where they are. Yes, they have natural gifts and talents just like we do…but we didn’t see all their mistakes, we didn’t see their years of trial and error, we didn’t see their commitment to keep going even when they didn’t believe in themselves at times. I was watching this show on children magicians, and these kids talked about how it took years to perfect one trick…and I was really floored by that because I would have thought maybe it took them a week to master it.

So again, what’s important to you that you’ve been avoiding? You don’t have to be perfect, in fact you never will be, but when you are willing to make mistakes to go after something that matters to you…that’s where the change begins to happen. The things we want take time, so become aware that your commitment isn’t a in week, or even in a monthly endeavor…it’s a lifelong process in mastering what matters to you.

Mistakes Make Me Better

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Wisdom Wednesdays-#319 November 15th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

The Only Person I’m Trying To Impress Is Myself

In a social media world, it can be easy to feel inadequate. You see those exotic world excursions people are taking while you’re stuck in the most vanilla place that could ever be. You see people doing their dream job while you’re stuck in a job you’ve settled on. You see relationships thriving while you are alone or struggling in yours at the moment. You see people showing the houses their buying or that new pool they just installed… all while you’re struggling to pay your bills. You see how perfect their kids are while yours are all wild banshees. And maybe you see everyone else smiling, while you are trying to find yours.

There’ve been multiple studies about social media that show people aren’t portraying an actual representation of their life. Some are flat out lying to pose a façade to feel better about themselves or their lives, but it’s a little less sinister than that. Most people are showing only a highlight of their best film reels. They’re showing the moments that they do something fun, they’re showing the trips they took a year ago as a take back memory, they’re showing the cool restaurant they are eating in when it only happens once every year, they’re showing their cheat meal in their fitness journey when they only are doing that occasionally, they’re showing the new car that they knew they couldn’t afford but it looked cool…and they’re faking a smile to get more likes on their page…which they think will help them feel better about themselves.

And being a life coach and working to motivate people, there are days I don’t feel like smiling, there are days where I remember past relationships that I messed up on and regret my decisions, there are days where I wonder what the hell I’m doing and question if I made a mistake in my life choices, there are days that I come back to the depressing thoughts that I used to harbor every day—questioning if God really did make a mistake in my creation…as I ask if I’ve been fooling myself all this time.

And all those thoughts could become my reality, if I chose to focus on them, if I chose to stay there. The thing we tell ourselves is that happy people…well… happiness comes naturally to them. But that’s a lie we tell we ourselves to take us off the hook of having to work on our happiness. Happiness feels better to me, but it doesn’t come naturally to me…it’s that I know if I focus on sadness it becomes part of me, but if I focus on happiness…that… becomes a bigger part of me. And so while my social media posts will always be positive…it’s because I want to feel that way all the time, I want to help people feel that way, and it’s my mission to help change this world any way that I can.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to project the best version of yourself for the world to see, but I think at times we do it out of a need that’s dysfunctional for ourselves. We do it so we can get likes to feel validated how good we are, we do it because we are envious of what others are doing and we want ourselves and other people to really notice how amazing are, and we want to join in the fun and show all the amazing things we’re doing like everyone else seems to be doing.

And I think it boils down to a few things…We want to be noticed, we want to know we mattered, we want to know that the choices we made were the right choices, we want to feel important to ourselves, and we want to feel loved and validated…from others and from ourselves.

Comparison can be the thief of fulfillment. We see what others have, we see what others are doing, or we see who others are being…and we question our places in life. And it can be a good thing, if we are asking ourselves if we’re being the people we want to be. But it can be a dangerous trap of envy or discontentment, as we get caught in an endless loop of comparing who they are to ourselves. The only race you’re running is with yourself. Push yourself, but don’t pace yourself by what everyone else is doing. It’s my hope that we all stop seeking validation for our worth by the number of followers or likes we have on our page. It is my hope that the only heart you seek in your social media endeavors is the one in the center of your chest.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
David Foster Wallace  said, “You’d worry less about what people think about you if you knew how seldom they do.”

How can you worry less today about what people think of you? How can you find satisfaction in who you are before comparing yourself to others? I think this should be every day, but I’m going to challenge you to a day of self-love. And not to be mixed up with your mani or pedi day that you pamper yourself to, or that golf game you treat yourself to, but to be kind to yourself and to compliment yourself today.

When you see something that rubs you the wrong way, and begin to think or say something negative, work to stop yourself and say something kind about the other person and about yourself. A good portion of what we don’t like that we see in others, is what we don’t like about ourselves. It rubs us a certain way. Now that sounds strange and weird to say I know…but let me explain.

Let’s say someone is constantly lying on Facebook or Instagram about how happy they are, how healthy they are with all the meals they post, or the updates about being single and how they’re waiting for their king and queen and won’t settle because of how awesome they are, or the excessive pics about gloating or boasting that seems overkill in trying to impress people. Now I know that sounds annoying, at least to me…I want people to be real, and so my natural reaction is to get mad at them and brush them off as liars or annoying. But the reason it makes me mad is I want people to be real, and I want people to share the real parts of themselves.

I use social media to help get awareness for my business, and when I feel other people are getting likes for what I would consider silly things…and they’re getting hundreds or thousands of likes when I feel like I’m having to struggle just to get people to notice a post…I get upset because I’m trying to do something worthwhile with my posts. And then I question if I am wasting my time or if what I have to say isn’t that interesting. But the thing I need to consider is why would I get mad if someone needs some sort of validation?

I want people to feel loved, and if they feel they need to do whatever they are doing to be loved more, if they aren’t hurting anyone else…then why should I care? Why should it bother me? Yes, I know I want truth in posts, but I can see the truth for myself, and not have to be upset at them and judge them, but to rather send a prayer or maybe an encouraging word from time to time to remind them that they’re loved.

So today love yourself first, stop yourself when you feel yourself thinking or saying something negative about another person and ask yourself why it would make you mad…and don’t let the negative emotion go…pivot it towards the realization of why it irks you, and find ways to love yourself to not let those emotions bother you anymore. You deserve peace, but only you can give it to yourself.

The Only Person I’m Trying To Impress Is Myself

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Tag Me Tuesdays-# 318 November 14th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Respect My Power With Great Consideration

Have you ever truly considered how much power you have in your life? We go about our day complaining how things aren’t in our control. That we have to go to work or to school, that we have to pay bills we don’t want to, or that people or things in our life don’t respect us like we wish they would. And we live the life of victims, playing the game of blame, so we don’t have to take action to have the things we want and to be the people we wish to be.

We focus so much on our lack of power that we forget the power we already have…we forget the things that we are in control of. Just think about this for a second…think about everything you are in control of…and really fathom the power you have in your life. Really take a moment and answer this in your mind right now about what you control in your life…

What did you answer? Hopefully you weren’t stumped as you thought of a bunch of things.

So if you aren’t in a job that you don’t like and feel trapped…you don’t have to stay. If you’re in a relationship that’s hard work, and you don’t want to be in it…get out of it. If you’re paying too many bills, don’t buy so much stuff you can’t afford. Now don’t get me wrong here saying that if things are hard leave them. What I am saying, is you have control over the direction of your life. I think a good amount of us think that if we leave something or forget about it then that solves the problem…but if you didn’t work on yourself first, if you didn’t find ways to love where you were already…then you will always be trapped in the same situations no matter what job, relationship, or things you have in your life.

We have such a lack of respect for the control we have in life. Take for example a car. I saw a quote that said, “Never forget your car keys will change your car from one ton of inert metal into one of the most deadly killing machines that has been invented.”

I was looking at an infographic from the Virginia Tech Transportation Institute and it said that texting takes your eyes off the road for 4.6 seconds. At 55mph you have driven 100 yards, at 45 miles an hour you have driven 80 yards, and at 25 mph you have driven 50 yards. Now that may not seem like a lot, but if you think about it…at 55 mph you have driven blindfolded the length of a football field.

Now I’m not here to chastise you for texting, snapchatting, or Facebooking while driving…I just want to remind us about all the power we have in our lives that we really don’t respect.

Your life is yours, and you have the power to steer your life in the direction that you want. You have the option to stop playing the victim and blaming everyone for your predicament in life, you have the option to choose love over hate, you have the option to choose happiness over sadness, you have the option to choose to love the life challenges or be burdened by them…and you have the option to embrace the challenge by becoming aware of the beauty in each moment your given…or to be upset that someone or something else, somewhere else, has something you don’t. Every moment is a gift, as not everyone was granted another day…and the more we look at what we don’t have the more we stay focused on that, and the more we make that our lives.

So taking the example of having control over a car, and having the utmost respect for a machine that can be quite dangerous but also such a blessing at the same time…what if you were to see your life like that? You have control over a great vehicle…your life…where you choose to focus and steer it, can create a great journey…or it can create a dangerous path of near misses and endings that brought you to places you never fathomed…all because you decided to not respect the power of your life…to not respect the power of choice to see the blessings instead of the curses in life.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
Ok…clear your mind…

What’s the first thing you think of when I say Monday? 

What’s the first thing you think of when I say work? 

What’s the first thing you think of when you think about rush hour traffic?

Ok…now I want you to assess how your body feels. Are your muscles tight or relaxed…is your forehead scrunched up, are your traps and shoulders up in your ears, do you feel any tightness anywhere else in your body? We hold onto our stresses different as our body will react to what our mind is feeling. When you can feel your stresses, you can change the direction if need be. And maybe it was unfair to ask some of those questions as most people don’t like those things… but I want you to see if you complain more than you assess your blessings? I can’t even count all the times I’ve seen the status posts on Facebook about how people hate Mondays, or that they would rather be on vacation somewhere else, or that they wish they could find a good man or woman… are there any even out there. I know those people are only saying what they feel, but the more we focus on what we don’t like then…the more it becomes the center of our life.

I’m not saying you can’t express what you feel, but people get that confused with holding onto how they feel. In life we don’t get what we want, we get what we focus on. So the more we focus on what we don’t like, how we feel bad, or all the stresses in our lives…then the more we miss out on the blessings in our lives. You can’t focus on two things at the same time…so how can you focus more on the blessings of your life, to become more of a blessing to this life?

I Respect My Power With Great Consideration

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Mindful Mondays-# 317 November 13th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Listen With Deep Openness

I think about the ocean when I think about silence. And maybe that might sound crazy as waves are crashing and sloshing back and forth from high tide to low tide all the time. As the water seems to eat more of the earth until it’s satisfied and retreats…only to come back later because of its incessant hunger. But I think of the ocean as a vast calm, because when you are standing on the shore at night, you can see for miles and get lost and be wowed in the infiniteness of this earth.

And what’s so interesting about this image for me, is I don’t swim very well. I have a deep fear of water. I have a fear of the depths of water and not being able to see what’s around or under me. I think the movie Jaws did that to me. So in my mind I actually see myself screaming in agony as I’m drowning or being pursued by lustfully hungry sharks or mutant fish… and the reason I bring up such a crazy dichotomy between a silent ocean and me screaming to a drowning death…is that it’s all within my mind how I want to see something beautiful in front of me. I can either see the beauty of mother nature, or I can see the fears in my mind.

Judgement gets a bad rap…because we add our personal opinions or stories to what’s in front of us. And while the ocean can be dangerous, it can also be a wonderful calming experience. When we utilize the strength of judgement we look at both sides. We don’t make quick assumptions as we are willing to take some of our fears and stories out of the picture and work to see all angles of an event.

I was watching the Documentary on ESPN called OJ: Made in America about the life and trial of O.J. Simpson…and there are a lot of questions asked about race. I’ve been raised a certain way in my community, so there are living situations end events that I can think about…but I truly cannot fathom.  And I found myself working hard not to come to any quick assumptions or conclusions, but to really see the matter from each person’s point of view talking. Whether it be from the detectives and policemen, the jurors, the different opinions from the  ethnicities of black or white individuals, the victims, the accused, and the friends of the accused.

And it’s a hard thing to do, to leave your experiences or suppositions on the table and work to really hear people out and be in their shoes. I worked to not see people as right or wrong, but to see and hear where they were coming from. And I think when we look to connect with a deep openness, something different occurs in life. In my experience I would usually try to argue a point and prove why I’m right, but I hope that by doing more of this it will help me to be open to hearing people and understanding them.

It doesn’t mean we lay down and let people walk over us, but I think it means we truly seek to understand first before trying to be understood.

So how can you listen with a deep openness to people and the world around you? I think when we can let go of always trying to be right or get our point across, we can authentically hear and connect with people on a deeper level. And when we do this…it becomes less left or right, black or white, right or wrong…and it becomes I hear you and respect you. Judgement isn’t a bad word, we think that it means coming to a conclusion right away, but it’s really about stepping back and seeing all the angles, not just ours.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
As Stephen Covey said in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, seek first to understand than to be understood…how can you pause before going straight into conclusion mode? How can you see someone’s side and empathize more with someone before solely going to your side of things. It’s not that you can’t have an opinion or that you have to be wrong if someone else has a differing opinion…but it’s about connecting with people. We spend so much time separating ourselves from each other that it feels natural to feel isolated. It feels natural to always be in conflict…but it doesn’t have to be that way. Take time to understand people first, to see things from their experiences and not automatically judge, but just to hear them. Most people want to be heard in life, what if you were the person that allowed people to be heard? What if you made people feel important because you tried to see things from both sides…not just yours? There’s only one way to find out…

I Listen With Deep Openness

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Smiling Sundays - #316 November 12th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Put In The Time

I was watching a documentary on Netflix called Abstract, and the first episode of the series was about an artist named Christoph Niemann. He’s an artist and they showed his work and ideas behind illustrating things like covers for the New Yorker Magazine.

The curtain was pulled back to hear his thoughts on how he created his masterpieces. He said that, “everything that happens between 9 and 6 is about work.” Christoph goes on to quote something from painter Chuck Close about how, "Inspiration Is for Amateurs—The Rest of Us Just Show Up and Get to Work"

We look for inspiration to give us that million-dollar idea in our work, we look for motivation to move us towards writing a New York Times Best Seller, or we look for a blessing from the gods to hand us what we feel we deserve.

And it’s not that you don’t deserve great things, but there really are not free lunches. The people we look up to and admire…we don’t always see the hard work they put in. The people that we envy, and wish we had their luck instead of ours, is us secretly wanting to have that persons accolades without doing they work they did.

Every great author, artist, marketer, scientist, doctor, lawyer, or any other respectable or creative profession you can think of…they didn’t fall at the top of the mountain. They put in the work, they put in the time to master themselves and the craft they wanted to tackle.

In the documentary—Christoph went on to say that, “for anything decent that I’ve ever done, I distinctly remember being in a tense, grumpy mood. Worse than that, I get suspicious when having too good of a time working, since I know this doesn’t bode well for the outcome.”

And that’s why inspiration can be a dangerous idea. People are sold on the notion to follow your passions and leave your day job because something better is on the horizon, people are told that your craft should be something that you make money at and if you can’t…then go get a real job, or people are sold on the idea of it’s either black or white. It’s either all conformity of the accountant who is always dressed the exact same way in the exact same routine every day, or it’s either chaos and total lunacy of being the nutty artist who runs around the garden naked doing really strange things to be inspired for their art. No offense to accountants or artists, I love both of you, I was just trying to make a point.

Inspiration isn’t what you think it is. It’s an idea we’ve latched onto that the answer of all answers will fall into our lap to save our behinds when needed. Coming back to the quote of—inspiration is for amateurs, Christoph says, “The one thing I really love about that quote is it relieves you of a lot of pressure. It’s not about waiting for hours for this moment where inspiration strikes. It’s just about showing up and getting started and then something amazing happens or it doesn’t happen. All that matters is you enable the chance for something to happen. For that you have to sit at your desk and you have to draw and do and make decisions and hope for the best.”

So what do you dream of doing or what do you dream of being??? Sit in the chair at your desk and be willing to do the work, be willing to do the unglamorous things to get your so called inspiration. When people will ask you where you got your inspiration from…as you’ll laugh inside your head while saying “I don’t believe in inspiration…I believe in getting started by sitting down hour after hour, day after day, year after year and enable the chance for something amazing to happen.”

And when you do this, you won’t have to hope for the best, you will be creating a mastery in yourself, you will be creating a great patience within yourself, and you will be creating a resilience to keep going and to keep creating your authentic amazing gifts to share with the world. Inspiration happens in the routine.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
What’s your number one goal right now…and are you putting in the time? For me writing a book was important, but I spent years floundering by working only when I was inspired. And so I would step away, get bored, or look at the difficulties and give up. So what’s your book…what’s your thing that you’ve been stuck on??? Is it going back to school, is it creating a better relationship with your spouse, is it having a better relationship with your kids, is it volunteering and making your community better? You can’t change anything if you don’t sit in your proverbial chair to do the work. It’s not going to be perfect at first, but by you putting in the time you’ll get better and enjoy what you are creating.

The people and the works that we admire…didn’t happen overnight. They took time, and it took a willingness from their creators to sit in their chairs. So write down your goals and choose the number one goal that you want to put the time in and make a commitment to do something towards it every day. For me and my book, in the beginning it was to get up early and write at least an hour every morning. What will put you out of your comfort zone a little bit and get you in your chair to begin creating what is truly important to you?

I Put In The Time

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Synergy Saturdays-#315 November 11th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

The Struggle…Is My Weight Room

There are good stresses, and there are bad stresses. Some people will say eliminate all your stress and you’ll have an easy life…but an easy life doesn’t equate to a good life…it doesn’t equate to a worthy life.

Why do we workout? It breaks down the muscle for it to be able to grow stronger. Why do we challenge our brain? So it can be filled with knowledge we might need, to use later at a critical time. Why do we get into relationships when we could be happier and less stressed by being alone? Stephen Covey said it nicely…we all start out dependent, we grow independent, but where we become great is when we become interdependent. We become better with others.

So what have you been avoiding in your life because you’ve been wanting to sidestep the struggle? What are the obstacles you keep trying to step around…when all you’re doing is circling it instead of getting over or through it? We prolong our struggle by wishing it to have never existed, or for it to be over too soon.

And maybe the issue is not with the problem, but more our perception of the problem. The happiest people I know aren’t the wealthiest people…they do have a wealth of sorts but a different wealth. They have a health about them in having a higher perspective of what a problem is. Just like the guard upon a watchtower, or the sailor in the crow’s nest looking for land. They both know that having higher ground brings better sight to what’s ahead.

So, how can you climb to higher ground above your struggles? How can you stop fighting hand to hand with the problem at present and get into your watchtower or crow’s nest and see the difficulty for what it is???

Temporary.

When you realize that a problem isn’t a wall, but a stepping stone towards strength and growth, you stop seeing your struggles as curses and see them as blessings.

The best lives are not the ones who’ve made it thru life unscathed. The most rewarding lives are those who are battered, bruised, and scarred from taking chances on their life. A life worthwhile is a life of taking chances. It’s a life of failing over and over again but always willing to get back up to go at it as many times as needed. It’s a life of being willing to transform your struggle into stepping stones as you get in your watchtower or climb your crow’s nest to see what your struggle will lead to.

So let us be awakened to not avoid the struggle. Let us be awakened to see the blessings in the struggle. And let us be awakened as we’re reminded that we are strong enough to make it through those struggles. Your struggle is your weight room.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
What obstacle are going through that you’re wishing was over, and how can you have a better perspective of it? Write down:

• What you’ve learned from the obstacle
• What you’re still having to learn from it
• What you want to learn from it
• And how can you be patient with your learning process?

What if you were to label your struggle differently today? Instead of seeing the struggle as a weight dragging you down, what if you were to see the struggle as a weight you’re pressing repeatedly like in a workout to become stronger? How can you get in your crow’s nest and see it from a better perspective? You are more resilient than any problem. The obstacle will not last…you will, and you will become stronger and healthier because of them. That is…if you learn to see it differently.

The Struggle Is My Weight Room

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Fantastic Fridays-#314 November 10th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Make Sure That Everyone Comes Home

I was watching a program called Navy Seals-Their Untold Story. I like military documentaries because it fascinates me how they train people, and how they instill structures and habits in individual’s minds and behaviors. I thought about going into the military myself because I thought they could not only toughen me up and challenge me, but they could also help me organize my physical habits and life.

I normally am a messy guy, you look at my desk and I have papers everywhere. I’m working on minimizing things and creating better organizational habits for my life though. My grandfather was in the military and it made a lasting impression on me how orderly he was. His shirts were always folded meticulously the same way every time and put away nicely in his dresser, his mail was always opened precisely with his letter opener and then filed away in a box neatly, and even all his tools were organized in a clean and perfect manner. He had his tools organized nicely hanging up on a cork board along the wall, and in shelves he had jars and jars of different sizes of nuts, bolts, screws, nails in such a pristine way. And seeing those habits in my grandfather and father, I admired at how the military trained individuals by breaking down their bad habits. As they took away their need for things giving them only the essentials in boot camp training, and then teaching them a new way of organizing their life.

But back to the real message here, as I was watching the documentary…there was a Navy Seal talking about a Vietnam War conflict where they were discovered and a massive fire fight broke out. They were outnumbered 50 to 1. And all the sudden it got quiet in certain areas where there used to be gunfire, and the SEALS realized that the enemy soldiers began to regroup to surround them. So the two SEAL members, and their two guides, decided that to evade capture they needed to retreat.

When they got to the rendezvous point the soldier being interviewed in the program said he asked one of their guides what happened to his Navy SEAL brother. And the guide said he was killed and left behind. And being committed to the safety of his fellow brother, he decided to live up to their code of “leaving no man behind” and so he went back into the fire fight to find him. He knew that his Navy SEAL brother would do the same for him if he were in a similar predicament, and so he never hesitated as he went back into enemy fire.

In fact when he found the fallen soldier, he thought his comrade was dead as there was no response from him, and so he picked him up to carry him back to the boat to escape. They were pursued, and an explosion went off that threw them both in the water…which woke up the man being rescued. They made it back home, but the man rescued was badly wounded and had to go thru at least 17 extensive surgeries and they thought he wouldn’t make it.

They both survived however, and they both received the medal of honor for different events in their involvement in the war for extreme valor.

Watching this documentary really moved me by seeing the respect and love that the Navy SEALS have for each other. They talked about how they weren’t fighting for their country, they weren’t even fighting for their families at home, but they were fighting for the guys next to them. They were each other’s keepers. And I wondered what if we had that mentality for those around us? What if we worked to help save those around us, to be each other’s keepers, by living better lives to be the example and also to be the support for those who need it? What if we had the mentality to not give up on people so easily, and to protect them as they went through their own private hells?

Now I know in the military it’s a little different during a life or death engagement, those men chose to do what they do, and when we’re trying to help our coworkers or neighbors…they may not be as willing to be pushed to becoming better individuals. But maybe it’s not our job to judge people right away, but to support them the best way we can. I know some people have given up in life because people gave up on them a long time ago.

I was reading a book called The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker where he said there’s one commonality among all serial killers:

• They were all abused—whether physically, psychologically, sexually, or neglected; in one form or another as children. 

And in his book he told a story of where he was giving a speech inside an American prison, and one of the inmates asked him about his personal story. Without going into much detail, in the book the author talked about the very rough childhood he had. And so the inmate said, “your story is almost exactly as mine, so why are you out in the word and I’m locked up in here?”  His question was meant to ask Gavin how he was able to cope with his tumultuous life as young child. And he wanted to know how Gavin could turn his negative, into something that helped him function within society successfully.

Gavin said that the difference in some people’s lives is sometimes just one act of kindness towards a struggling child. Whether it be a teacher challenging them and believing more in them, or a police officer taking the extra time and sharing kindness with them, or any other person who showed the child that they are cared about in one manner or another.

You see, sometimes the kindest acts don’t have to be the most labor or time intensive. Sometimes the kindest acts can just be noticing someone and letting them know they aren’t invisible…and that someone cares about them.

So what if you were to try to leave no person behind, what if you were to really care for those who are around you. I remember reading in the Bible where Jesus talked about loving your enemy, and to care and pray for those who persecute you.

“If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others?”

So if you’re in school—keep watch on the ones who need to be let known they’re seen and cared about, that they matter, and that they’re noticed for being themselves. Be the person who shares that kindness with those who get teased, picked on, or are ostracized just because they don’t fit in or they’re different.

If you’re in work—refrain from the gossip that tears people apart, compliment people authentically on the characteristics that you like about them, and say hello and ask them how they are. Let them know they’re noticed.

And with your families get out of auto pilot and ask better questions than just “how was your day?” Get them thinking, be creative in your engagement with them. Be present with them. Ask them something like “what were the 3 best things about their day,” or “what exciting thing did they learn that they could teach you about.” Or even if they’re having a bad day…be there to listen to them. Let them know you are willing to be there for them in a higher capacity.

I heard a great story in supporting someone where a man was listening to his fiancé during a very difficult time in her life. After she was done talking he said, “Babe…I’m not sure what to do here, but tell me how to be great for you right now…and I’ll do it.” And that really moved me, because usually I’m trying to fix people’s problems as fast as possible. I give advice so quickly saying do this, go here, be this…or whatever dime store advice that’s easy to give out. And it made me think that maybe there’s a better way at times by asking how I can be great for them and getting their input on what they really need.

So leave no person behind, and care for your non blood brothers and sisters like you would your own family. Trying to care for the masses can be hard I know, there are people who rub me the wrong way at work and in life…and sometimes those people won’t be the ones who will be in your care…but don’t give up on people…encourage them with your attitude of joy and encourage them with your support by letting them know they’re noticed.

You can’t save everyone, but you can try to be your best for people and you can try to see behind people’s hurt and pain…so that they might be able to know that someone cared for them in their time of need. Sometimes it only takes one kind act to help someone turn their whole life around. What if you were the one that they needed today? Will you be there—will you be fully present—to leave no one behind today?

Today’s Personal Commitment:
What does leaving no person behind mean to you? Maybe it might be not leaving yourself behind either. We spend so much time saving everyone else before us… that we never take time to take care of ourselves properly. So how can you be a better steward today? How can you serve better and let people know they matter? How can you give a little extra care into the world and leave it better than when you first got there? How can you love and care for yourself better today? You are the difference in what can and will change the world…how will you heed the call, and how will you leave no person behind today?

I Make Sure That Everyone Comes Home

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide