The Surviving Siblings®

On Episode 4 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Erica Bohn, a surviving sibling who shares the story of losing her brother, TJ, in a car accident over 30 years ago, and how that loss shaped her life, her healing, and ultimately her path into helping others.

Erica takes us back to her childhood growing up in a close-knit Midwestern family. Both she and her brother TJ were adopted as babies, raised in what she describes as a loving, "perfect" family, until one summer night in 1995 changed everything. TJ, just weeks away from starting his senior year of high school, left for a party and never came home.

In a heartbreaking twist, Erica's father—who never missed work—left early that night with a bad feeling, took a different route home, and was the one who found TJ after the accident. What followed for Erica at just 14 years old was shock, trauma, and a blur of grief, surrounded by a community that showed up in full force, but without the tools to help her process what had happened.

Erica shares how her grief went largely unprocessed for years, leading to difficult choices in her teens and twenties, and how it wasn't until later in life, after becoming a mother that she sought therapy and began to truly heal. Today, as a social worker, Erica channels her experience into supporting others, carrying her brother's legacy forward through compassion and connection.

This episode is a powerful reminder that grief doesn't have a timeline, healing isn't linear, and the people who simply sit with us in our darkest moments can change everything.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Meet Erica + Remembering TJ Erica introduces her story, her bond with TJ, and their unique family dynamic as adopted siblings.

(0:02:00) – A Big Brother, A Big Personality Erica shares what TJ was like growing up—funny, outgoing, athletic, and loved by everyone.

(0:04:00) – The Night Everything Changed A summer day with family turns into tragedy after TJ leaves for a party and never returns.

(0:05:30) – A Father's Instinct Erica recounts how her dad left work early with a bad feeling and found TJ at the accident scene.

(0:10:00) – Finding Out: "He's Dead" Erica describes waking up to her mother's screams and the traumatic moment she learned her brother was gone.

(0:11:30) – A High School Funeral + Community Support The overwhelming turnout at TJ's funeral and the role her friends played in simply sitting with her through the pain.

(0:15:00) – Understanding the Accident What Erica later learned about the crash, and the unanswered questions that remained.

(0:19:00) – Life After Loss at 14 How grief showed up in Erica's teenage years—through risk-taking, avoidance, and unprocessed trauma.

(0:22:00) – Healing Later in Life Erica shares how becoming a mother led her to therapy and a deeper commitment to healing.

(0:24:00) – Finding the Right Therapist Why connection matters in therapy—and how to know when you've found the right fit.

(0:27:00) – A Career Rooted in Compassion How Erica's life experiences led her into social work and supporting others through difficult circumstances.

(0:33:00) – Family Bonds After Loss How grief brought Erica and her parents closer—and what it looked like to grow together instead of apart.

(0:38:00) – Parenting After Loss Erica shares the fears and realities of raising teenage drivers after losing her brother in a car accident.

(0:41:00) – Advice for the Newly Bereaved Why there's no "right" way to grieve—and the importance of support, presence, and compassion.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®

Connect with Erica:

• Website: https://www.mykeeper.com/TrevisTJHeiman

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@imjustericadawn?_r=1&_t=ZT-93IVy2FLBoz

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On Episode 3 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Gyani, a surviving sibling and grief professional, who shares the story of losing his brother, Pete, to cancer, and how earlier loss in his life shaped the path he walks today.

Gyani takes us back to his first encounter with grief at 13, when his father died of cancer. Raised in what he describes as a "Leave It to Beaver" style family. Mom, dad, and five boys—he reflects on how grief rippled through their family system like a bomb, in a time when there were few tools or conversations available to help a young boy process loss.

A few years later, Gyani found his way into meditation, yoga, and wisdom traditions, an unexpected but life-changing shift that became a foundation for everything that followed. Decades later, after building a career in counseling and the corporate world, Gyani felt an internal nudge that it was time for a new chapter. Then came a loss that re-opened the "great beast of grief" in a fresh way: the death of his baby brother, Pete.

Gyani shares how Pete's cancer moved fast—from a melanoma diagnosis to death within roughly a year—and how helplessness, family dynamics, and the inability to "make people come to the grief table" became part of his grieving process. This conversation is a powerful reminder that grief is not a problem to solve, but an experience that asks to be witnessed—by others, and by ourselves—with compassion, patience, and attention.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Meet Gyani + The Loss That Started It All Gyani introduces himself, shares that he works in the grief space, and reflects on losing his father to cancer at age 13.

(0:01:30) – Growing Up in a Family of Five Boys Gyani describes his family system, his place as the fourth of five brothers, and how grief impacted their "sports team" dynamic.

(0:03:30) – A Teenager Finds Meditation + Meaning Gyani shares how he found meditation, yoga, and wisdom traditions in high school—seeking something "deathless" after losing his dad.

(0:06:00) – Grief Doesn't Come With a Manual Maya and Gyani discuss how grief shapes you early, how people cope differently, and why many families lack the tools to process loss.

(0:10:00) – How Gyani Entered the Grief Space Professionally Gyani explains how his meditation practice and counseling training eventually converged—after years in the corporate world—into grief-focused work.

(0:12:30) – Asking "What's Next?" + Listening for the Answer Gyani shares his transition season, spending time in nature and intentionally seeking clarity for his next chapter.

(0:24:30) – Pete: "It's Powerful to Say His Name" Gyani introduces his brother Pete, their bond, growing up together, and why Pete was his "rock."

(0:26:00) – From Melanoma to Loss: A Fast Cancer Journey Gyani walks through Pete's diagnosis, how quickly it spread, and the shock of losing a healthy, vibrant brother.

(0:28:30) – Helplessness, Anger, and the Storm of Grief Gyani reflects on the layers of grief—including the raw helplessness that remains when you realize you can't change the outcome.

(0:30:00) – Family Dynamics: You Can't Drag People to the Grief Table Gyani and Maya discuss how differently siblings and families grieve—and the pain of wanting connection when others shut down.

(0:35:30) – Community as Medicine: Why Grief Must Be Witnessed Gyani shares why grief + isolation is a "double whammy," and how community helps thaw shame and soften the nervous system.

(0:43:30) – What Gyani's Grief Work Looks Like Today He shares how mindfulness-informed grief counseling helps people gently lean into grief, including working with the body ("issues are in the tissues").

(0:47:30) – A Closing Reminder: Grief Isn't a Problem to Solve Gyani offers a powerful reframe: grief is a sacred opportunity to be embraced—and it changes you into new versions of yourself.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®

Connect with Gyani:

• Website: https://ourgriefpath.com/

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On Season 9, Episode 2 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Earla Dawn, who shares the story of losing her sister, Leigh-Ann, to pancreatic cancer.

Earla takes us back to their childhood on the prairies, four siblings, endless fun, and the kind of relationship that started with "fighting like cats and dogs"… and grew into a deep, lifelong bond. Leigh-Ann was the polished one, the "always put together" sister, a devoted mom, a dog lover, and a woman who reinvented her life, starting over after divorce, and eventually moving across the world to Spain in 2006.

Even with an ocean between them, their connection never faded. They learned Skype, relied on phone calls and letters, and stayed emotionally close until a fall visit home revealed something no one was prepared for: a growth on Leigh-Ann's pancreas. What followed was a short, devastating season filled with advocacy, tenderness, quiet courage, and moments of unexpected beauty.

This episode is a powerful reminder that grief isn't just about the diagnosis or the timeline it's about the small moments you carry forever: the way you follow your sibling's lead, the calm you create for them, the love in the room, and the way connection can exist even without words.

(0:00:00) – Meet Earla and Remembering Leigh-Ann Earla shares their family dynamic, childhood memories, and how their relationship evolved over time.

(0:01:30) – From the Prairies to Spain: A Sisterhood That Stayed Close Leigh-Ann's big life moves, her reinvention, and how distance didn't break their bond.

(0:04:00) – Subtle Symptoms and the Turning Point Leigh-Ann's ongoing stomach issues, declining stamina, and the moment she learned about the pancreatic growth.

(0:06:30) – "I Looked It Up Once… and Never Again" Earla reflects on the shock of Dr. Google, the fear that followed, and what she learned about living day-by-day.

(0:08:00) – The Worst Day: "It's All Over" An oncologist appointment confirms the terminal diagnosis and Earla shares why not having an exact end date changed everything.

(0:09:30) – Following Leigh-Ann's Lead Earla explains how she honored Leigh-Ann's choices, advocated for information, and created a calm, sacred space at home.

(0:11:30) – Palliative Support and the Permission of Time The practical support that helped their family breathe and why planning ahead reduced panic later.

(0:14:00) – The List for Life (Not a Bucket List) Leigh-Ann's wishes: connection, warmth, marriage, travel and the decision to take a "honeymoon" to Hawaii.

(0:17:30) – Love, Humor, and the Moments That Stay Earla shares an unforgettable experience of wordless connection laughing together in the quiet.

(0:20:00) – Her Final Days and a Peaceful Death What it looked like, what helped, and why Earla believes we need to talk more honestly about end-of-life moments.

(0:22:30) – A Room Full of Love: Ritual, Meditation, and Goodbye Earla guides a meditation after Leigh-Ann's passing and describes the gentle, meaningful way they honored her.

(0:26:00) – Grace in Grief: Caring for Yourself While Losing Your Person Earla shares what "giving yourself grace" looked like in real life including rest, boundaries, and self-trust.

(0:31:00) – Zines, Creativity, and Finding a Way Forward How small, simple storytelling (zines) became an accessible form of grief processing and a bridge back to hope.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®

Connect with Earla:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sibling.grief.buds/

• Earla's Book: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/0973216239?ref_=pe_93986420_774957520

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On episode 1 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast® host, Maya Roffler is joined by Stephen Stott who opens up about the tragic loss of his sister, Stacy, to a car accident 24 years ago.

Stephen was just 16 when his life changed forever. After being "voluntold" to accompany his sister to a cheerleading camp six hours away, he shared a moment of deep personal truth with her the first person he ever came out to as queer. Just days later, on the drive home, they both fell asleep behind the wheel. Stacy didn't survive. Stephen did.

What follows is a deeply moving story of grief, identity, movement, and healing. Stephen shares how he turned toward dance, breathwork, and somatic healing not only to honor Stacy's memory but to help others process grief in their own bodies. He also reflects on his decision to found Embrace the Darkness, a platform and resource space that embraces the hard and sacred work of grief, especially for queer siblings and those needing support outside of traditional therapy.

This episode is about so much more than loss. It's about grief in the body, safe spaces for queer siblings, and what it means to move with your grief instead of away from it.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Meet Stephen and Remembering Stacy Stephen shares who Stacy was, their sibling bond through movement, and the moment that changed everything.

(0:04:00) – Movement as Medicine: Honoring Stacy Through Dance Stephen describes how continuing cheer, gymnastics, and dance helped him stay close to his sister and move through grief.

(0:05:00) – Coming Out and Catastrophe: The Last Conversation Stephen tells the powerful story of coming out to his sister just days before the fatal car accident. It was the first time he told anyone he liked boys.

(0:06:30) – The Car Accident and Immediate Aftermath He recalls the surreal moment of waking up in the hospital, already knowing deep in his bones that Stacy was gone.

(0:08:00) – Back to School, No Time to Grieve Just a week after the accident, Stephen was thrown back into high school, sports, and work using distraction to survive.

(0:11:00) – Survivor Guilt, Queer Identity, and Grieving Alone Stephen reflects on how his queer identity shaped his grief and how he struggled to find representation and resources.

(0:14:00) – Why Queer Grief Spaces Are Essential Maya and Stephen dive into why queer-specific grief groups matter, and how judgment—even within sibling spaces can create harm.

(0:21:00) – The Turning Point at 21: A Grief Conference Shifts Everything Stephen's mother encouraged him to attend a grief conference, where a simple dance skit helped him feel seen and opened a path toward healing.

(0:25:00) – Becoming a Social Worker and Healing Through Service Stephen shares how his desire to help others evolved into a career in social work and ultimately into his grief-centered platform.

(0:27:00) – Founding Embrace the Darkness He explains why toxic positivity doesn't work, and how this powerful name emerged from his belief that we must sit with the dark to truly heal.

(0:43:00) – Parasympathetic Nervous System & Breathwork as Reset Maya and Stephen discuss how breathwork activates the vagus nerve and helps shift the body from chaos to calm.

(0:47:00) – The Mission Moving Forward Stephen talks about his workshops, his work with siblings globally, and his dream to bring more somatic healing into the grief world.

About Embrace the Darkness

Stephen is the founder of Embrace The Darkness, a platform that provides breathwork, sibling grief support, and LGBTQ+-affirming spaces for healing.

Stephen is starting a 6-month program and is offering $1,000 off for any surviving sibling.

The unspoken path community discount: https://embracethedarkness.org/surviving-siblings-podcast-special

This episode is sponsored by Embrace The Darkness

Connect with Stephen:

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BreathingIntoGrief

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breathingintogrief/

• Email: [email protected]

• Website: https://embracethedarkness.org/

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On episode 10 of season 8 of The Surviving Siblings® Podcast, guest host Chelsey McHale takes over the mic to interview podcast founder and host Maya Roffler in a deeply personal and reflective conversation.

With 2026 marking 10 years since the loss of her brother Andreas, Maya opens up about what this milestone means to her, how her grief has evolved, and the legacy her brother continues to leave behind through this powerful community. From the early days of navigating violent loss to founding the podcast, the summit, and a thriving support network, Maya shares what she's learned from interviewing over 70 siblings, including her own personal growth, struggles, healing, and mission.

This candid and vulnerable episode is a must-listen for anyone feeling stuck in grief, facing complex sibling loss, or wondering how to honor their loved one with grace, authenticity, and community.

In This Episode:

Anniversary Reflections & Feeling the Weight of Year 10 Maya shares her emotions around approaching the 10-year anniversary of Andreas's death, the pressure that comes with milestones, and the peace she feels from honoring him every day.

How Maya Stays Spiritually Connected to Andreas From sunflowers and champagne to nature walks and old episodes of The Office, Maya shares the personal rituals that bring her comfort and connection.

Signs From Andreas & Spiritual Moments She talks about powerful signs—from sunflowers in strange places to her dog Bonnie—and the deep belief that our loved ones are always with us.

Fear of Forgetting Their Voice Maya addresses a common fear among grieving siblings: "What if I forget what they sounded like?" She discusses how memory, dreams, and digital archives play a role.

Holding Onto the Bond Without Feeling Stuck What does it really mean to "move forward" without "moving on"? Maya explains how honoring your sibling is healthy and how to combat the pressure of getting "unstuck."

Parent Grief vs. Sibling Grief Maya addresses one of the most asked questions: "How do I grieve when I have to be strong for my parents?" She challenges grief hierarchy and gives permission to prioritize your healing.

Does It Get Easier? Maya's Most Frequent Question Her honest answer: yes and no. Maya breaks down why grief evolves, how the pain shifts, and what healing can look like years later.

Balancing Your Grief with Your Parents' Pain She dives into the invisible pressure placed on siblings to suppress their grief in favor of their parents—and why that has to change.

The Surviving Siblings Summit: Goals & Vision Maya gives a behind-the-scenes look at the summit's evolution, why virtual events matter, and the future of this movement—including a possible retreat.

The Power of Community & Friendship in Grief Chelsey and Maya close with reflections on their friendship, the healing power of this community, and why this show exists: to keep sibling stories alive.

Listen to the full episode of "Chelsey McHale Interviews Maya Roffler On Sibling Loss" now on all major platforms.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®

Connect with Chelsey:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chelseym07?igsh=enBrZjR5Z29lOGh0

• Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chelseymchale?_r=1&_t=ZT-923QkdiG4bd

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On episode 9 of Season 8 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host, Maya Roffler sits down with Katherine Mandzak, a writer and advocate, as she opens up about losing her beloved younger brother Colin to a rare and aggressive form of bile duct cancer.

From growing up as inseparable homeschool siblings to navigating a shocking cancer diagnosis, Katherine shares the raw reality of becoming the only surviving sibling and how her identity, grief, and life path were forever changed.

She walks us through the six-month rollercoaster from diagnosis to hospice, the sacred final moments, and the silence that followed. With powerful vulnerability, Katherine discusses anticipatory grief, the weight of being "the strong one," the unexpected beauty of sibling love, and how writing became her lifeline through it all.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone facing sibling loss, complicated grief, or struggling to find themselves in the aftermath.

In This Episode:

[00:00–03:00] Childhood Bond & Homeschooling Katherine reflects on growing up closely with Colin—just the two of them, homeschooled and always side by side.

[03:00–05:00] Staying Connected Through the College Years Despite being nearly five years apart, the two remained close with frequent check-ins, music events, and road trips.

[05:00–07:00] The First Health Scare Colin complains of gallstone-like pain within hours, he's in the ER and yellow with jaundice.

[07:00–10:00] The Diagnosis That Changed Everything On Katherine's 28th birthday, they learn it's bile duct cancer. The rare and aggressive nature becomes clear and hope turns to urgency.

[10:00–13:00] Shock, Dissociation, and the Urge to "Hold It Together" Katherine opens up about the emotional shutdown she experienced during Colin's treatment, trying to be strong for everyone else.

[14:00–16:00] Hopes for a Liver Transplant The family explores living donor options, but everyone, including Katherine and their mother, is ruled out.

[16:00–18:00] A Devastating Update Colin shares he has "a year left," but Katherine later learns he only had six months. She speaks candidly about the anger and betrayal of that timeline.

[18:00–21:00] The Final Days: Hospice & Sacred Space As the new year begins, Colin enters hospice. Katherine describes visiting him every weekend and witnessing moments where "he had one foot in each world."

[21:00–24:00] 2AM Goodbye She recalls the night Colin passed surrounded by silence and stillness and the powerful hug from her father that became a memory etched in time.

[24:00–26:00] A Brother's Hidden Love At the memorial, Colin's friends tell Katherine how much he talked about her redefining how she saw their bond.

[33:00–39:00] Healing, Boundaries, and Becoming Herself Katherine found her voice again through therapy and creativity. She now embraces who she is forever changed, but healing.

[39:00–44:00] Conversations About the Future As the only surviving sibling, she's now navigating conversations around caregiving, children, and long-term planning with her parents.

[44:00–47:00] How Her Husband Showed Up Katherine highlights her husband's quiet strength, especially during the memorial where he read for Colin.

Listen to the full episode of "Katherine Loses Colin To Cancer" now on all major platforms.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®

Connect with Katherine:

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katherine.mandzak.14

• Twitter/X: https://x.com/ka_mandzak

• Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/kamandzak

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On episode 8 of Season 8 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host, Maya Roffler speaks with Dan Dunsmore, a devoted brother, father, and educator who shares the heartbreaking story of losing his sister Patti at just 13 years old to a sudden and misdiagnosed case of appendicitis. Dan takes us back to 1968 in South Knoxville, Tennessee, and walks us through the idyllic beginnings of his childhood, followed by a series of devastating family losses, each one reshaping the course of his life.

Dan opens up about the traumatic last words he spoke to Patti, the moment he found himself alone in a suddenly silent house, and how grief compounded as he later lost both parents and eventually his beloved older sister, Libby.

Now decades into his healing journey, Dan shares the long-term impact of losing a sibling young, the power of therapy, and the divine full-circle love story of reconnecting with Patti's childhood best friend—who is now his wife. This episode is a powerful testament to resilience, love, and finding meaning in pain.

In This Episode:

[00:00–02:00] Childhood Memories in South Knoxville Dan describes growing up in South Knoxville in the late 1960s — an idyllic childhood filled with freedom, neighborhood adventures, and sibling connection. He and Patti were two years apart and inseparable, forming a tight bond that shaped his early life.

[03:00–06:00] Patti Falls Ill What started as a cold became something far more serious. Dan recalls watching his sister's illness worsen as doctors struggled to diagnose her. When she was hospitalized, he thought she was seeking attention — and the last words he said to her haunt him to this day.

[06:00–08:00] The Day Everything Changed Patti's appendix ruptured, leading to her death on the operating table. Dan was only 13 years old. He recalls the phone call, his mother's sobs, and being left alone in the quiet house, unaware that his sister was gone.

[08:00–11:00] The Empty House & Lasting Trauma Dan shares how that eerie silence imprinted on him — even now, decades later, he can't sit in silence without sound in the background. That empty house moment became a lifelong trauma trigger, symbolizing loss and isolation.

[13:00–16:00] The Dream Visit from Patti Patti came to Dan in a dream. Dressed in the same outfit she was buried in, she simply said, "I'm okay. I'm okay." That dream became a lifelong source of peace, convincing Dan that love transcends death.

[18:00–21:00] Losing Faith & Clinging to Hope Dan recalls sleeping with a Bible in bed for weeks after Patti's passing. Though not deeply religious, he needed something to hold onto — faith, comfort, and the feeling that Patti was still close.

[21:00–24:00] Two Years Later: Losing His Father Just two years after Patti's death, Dan's father suffered a fatal heart attack — a loss he attributes partly to heartbreak. His mother spiraled into depression, leaving Dan to navigate grief, instability, and survival at just 15.

[25:00–29:00] Family Collapse & Survival Mode Dan refused to leave his mother's side even as his older siblings took in his baby sister, Cindy. His loyalty kept him in a house full of pain, where he often became the caretaker for his grieving mother.

[30:00–33:00] His Mother's Suicide Attempt Dan bravely opens up about the night his mother attempted suicide while he was out on a date. Though she survived, it reinforced his fear of abandonment — and his determination to never leave her again.

[37:00–41:00] Therapy Breakthrough: Decades Later It wasn't until 30 years later — during his divorce — that Dan began therapy and discovered a life-changing insight: his daughter was the same age Patti was when she died. He realized he was reliving that trauma.

[42:00–44:00] Rebuilding & Finding Love Again Years later, Dan reconnected with Murph — Patti's childhood best friend. What began as holiday cards turned into a love story. Today, she's his wife, and they honor Patti's memory together.

[48:00–52:00] Losing Libby: Another Sibling Gone Dan shares the loss of his older sister Libby in 2010 and her miraculous life story. Born with a severe spinal issue, doctors never expected her to walk — yet she lived fully, loved deeply, and became a mother figure to everyone around her.

[53:00–55:00] Lessons from Libby & Final Reflections Libby never ended a call without saying, "I love you." Dan urges listeners: never wait to say it. Tell your siblings, your parents, your friends — you love them. You never know when it'll be the last time.

Listen to the full episode of "Dan Loses Patti To Appendicitis" now on all major platforms.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®

Connect with Dan:

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dandunsmore

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dan.dunsmore/

• Email: [email protected]

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On episode 7 of Season 8 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host, Maya Roffler sits down with Dawn, a surviving sibling who opens up about the unexpected loss of her brother Justin, just weeks before his wedding day.

Dawn shares the full arc of their sibling bond, from pranks and family laughter, to the hidden pain Justin carried, to the shock of losing him to suicide in 2013. Through her storytelling, Dawn brings light to the complexities of grief, sibling guilt, the impact of hidden addiction and gambling, and the long road toward healing.

This conversation is a tribute to Justin, a celebration of Dawn's strength, and a resource for anyone navigating the grief of suicide loss. She also shares how her daughter Justine, born later, became a symbol of healing and joy.

In This Episode:

[0:00] – Meet Dawn & Her Brother Justin Dawn introduces her family, sharing about her close-knit childhood with her two brothers, including the deep bond she had with Justin, her "twin in spirit."

[2:00] – Living with Visual Impairment & Justin's Support She opens up about growing up with congenital nystagmus, and how Justin always treated her with love and equality—never seeing her as disabled.

[5:00] – Prank Wars & Wedding Shenanigans From pranking their brother Jason to orchestrating a hilarious wedding garter joke, Dawn reflects on how laughter defined their sibling connection.

[7:00] – Health Challenges & Justin's Shift Dawn explains how Justin's life took a turn after a medical issue ended his athletic dreams, which may have led to a spiral of hidden struggles.

[10:00] – The Call That Changed Everything In May 2013, Dawn receives a devastating call: Justin was found in the woods by their father. He had died by suicide, just one month before his wedding.

[13:00] – Processing the Shock Dawn recounts the overwhelming grief, the small details that haunted her (like how Justin's smile was missing in his casket), and how she stepped into her "eldest sibling" role to hold the family together.

[17:00] – The Unraveling Begins After the funeral, the family begins discovering secrets Justin had kept hidden—dropping out of college, gambling debts, and signs of silent struggle.

[23:00] – Navigating Family Shame & Speaking the Truth Dawn candidly discusses how her family wanted to hide the cause of death, but how speaking up and honoring the truth helped her begin to heal.

[26:00] – Grief, Guilt & a Mud Run Gone Wrong On what would've been Justin's wedding day, Dawn attempted to mask her grief with a mud run—but broke her ankle, lost her job, and spiraled into depression. The symbolic "fall" marked a breaking point in her grief journey.

[29:00] – Naming Her Daughter After Justin A year later, Dawn gave birth to her third child, Justine Brianna, named after her brother. From her left-handedness to her smile, Justine became a living tribute and source of healing for the family.

[32:00] – Pregnant in Grief: The Duality of Joy & Loss Dawn shares what it was like to grieve while pregnant—balancing immense sorrow with the hope of new life, and the bittersweet beauty of motherhood after loss.

[34:00] – Six Years Later: The Weight of Untold Grief In 2019, six years after Justin's death, Dawn broke her silence—not in therapy, but in a surprising place: a Weight Watchers meeting. Talking about her grief helped her shed both emotional and physical weight.

[43:00] – The Power of Community in Grief Whether it's a podcast, support group, or a wellness meeting, Dawn emphasizes the importance of community when grieving a sibling. Talking changed everything.

Listen to the full episode of "Dawn Loses Justin To Suicide" now on all major platforms.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®

Connect with Dawn:

• Email: [email protected]

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On episode 6 of Season 8 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host, Maya Roffler sits down with Tommy, a surviving sibling who lost two brothers—John to addiction and Tim to cancer. Tommy shares a powerful testimony of family, trauma, guilt, grief, and recovery offering a rare and vulnerable glimpse into what it means to survive sibling loss from two very different but equally devastating causes. Raised in Queens, New York, Tommy opens up about growing up in a family marked by love, loyalty, and generational addiction. He candidly recounts the progression of his brother John's substance use following a workplace injury and the day he tragically discovered his brother unresponsive. Just two days later, Tommy's beloved Aunt Angela, like a second mother to him, died by suicide.

Years later, after achieving long-term sobriety, Tommy would face unimaginable grief again, this time, losing his twin brother Tim to 9/11-related cancer after witnessing his hard-fought battle to get sober. With 30+ years of recovery, Tommy now dedicates his life to helping families through his organization, Sober Companion Los Angeles, supporting others impacted by addiction and loss. This episode holds space for anyone navigating complex grief, guilt, and healing after losing a sibling to addiction, overdose, or cancer—and reminds us that asking for help is an act of strength.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Meet Tommy and His Family in Queens Tommy introduces his close-knit, working-class New York family, their upbringing in Queens, and the presence of generational addiction beginning with his parents.

(0:02:00) – Early Drinking, Generational Patterns, and Family Dynamics He shares how his father's alcoholism shaped his childhood and how both he and his brothers began drinking in adolescence.

(0:05:00) – John's Injury, Prescription Pills, and Spiraling Addiction Tommy recalls the moment his brother was prescribed opioids after a construction injury, which rapidly escalated into addiction.

(0:09:00) – The Day Everything Changed Tommy recounts in vivid detail the day he and his father found John unconscious, brought him home, and later discovered he had died of an overdose.

(0:11:00) – Guilt, Grief, and a Second Tragedy Two days after John's death, their Aunt Angela, who helped raise them died by suicide, compounding the trauma and sorrow for the entire family.

(0:14:00) – The Emotional Fallout and Drinking Resumes Tommy shares how he relapsed after John's death and reflects on the toll it took on both his parents and his own mental health.

(0:18:00) – Twin Bond and Tim's Role in His Healing He describes the twin bond he shared with Tim, how they held each other up in the wake of loss, and how the absence of John left a deep void.

(0:20:00) – Tommy's Turning Point and Path to Sobriety After years of drinking and legal trouble, Tommy made the decision to get sober in 1994—walking into a 12-step meeting and never looking back.

(0:27:00) – Tim's Parallel Journey and Struggles While Tommy stayed sober, Tim continued to struggle with alcohol for years, finally making progress in late 2019 after joining a recovery program.

(0:28:00) – 9/11, First Response, and a Cancer Diagnosis Tommy shares how Tim responded to the September 11 attacks, working at Ground Zero—and how years later, he was diagnosed with 9/11-related cancer.

(0:33:00) – Hospitalization, Final Days, and the Last Promise Tommy recounts Tim's rapid decline, the powerful final conversations they shared, and the promise he made at his brother's bedside before removing life support.

(0:36:00) – Coping with Losing a Twin He opens up about the heartbreak of losing Tim, what it meant to lose his "person," and the impact on his life, sobriety, and ongoing grief.

(0:38:00) – Sober Companion Los Angeles: From Grief to Purpose Tommy shares how he turned his pain into purpose by founding Sober Companion LA to help families in crisis, offering interventions, support, and 24/7 recovery coaching nationwide.

(0:43:00) – Advice for Siblings Struggling with Guilt and "Could I Have Saved Them?" Tommy speaks directly to listeners who've lost a sibling to addiction—offering compassionate, practical advice on releasing guilt, seeking professional help, and finding peace in grief.

(0:51:00) – The Night He Almost Relapsed — and Chose Life He reflects on the night of Tim's death, when he stood outside a bar ready to drink—but made a different choice, asked for help, and recommitted to his sobriety.

(0:55:00) – Continuing the Mission and Staying Sober Together Tommy concludes by encouraging siblings to reach out, stay connected, and know they are not alone in grief or in healing.

🎧 Listen to the full episode of "Tommy Loses John To Addiction & Tim To Cancer" — streaming now on all major platforms.

This episode is sponsored by Sober Companion Los Angeles.

Connect with Tommy:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sobercompanionlosangeles

• Yelp: https://www.yelp.com/biz/sober-companion-los-angeles-los-angeles

• Sober Companion Website: https://www.sobercompanionlosangeles.com/

• Sober Companion NYC: http://www.sobercompanionnyc.com/

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On episode 5 of Season 8 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host, Maya Roffler welcomes Brennan to share the devastating and unexpected loss of her younger brother, Jackson, during a freak storm in 2019. What begins as a reflection on their sibling relationship through childhood, divorce, and young adulthood turns into a powerful story of trauma, survival, family dynamics, and what it means to rebuild, both physically and emotionally.

Brennan takes us back to life growing up in the Mississippi Delta, the evolution of her bond with Jackson, and the unique pain of being the only surviving sibling. When a storm tore through her hometown, uprooting trees and altering the course of her family's life in an instant, Brennan was thrust into a nightmarish journey of grief, resilience, and reconstruction, literally and emotionally.

The episode dives deep into themes of sudden loss, natural disaster trauma, complicated family dynamics, anticipatory grief, and healing through change. Brennan shares how she supported both of her divorced parents in uniquely different ways, helped rebuild the family home, and eventually made a life-changing move across the country that helped her begin healing.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Meet Brennan and Her Brother Jackson Maya welcomes Brennan, who shares stories of growing up six years apart from her brother Jackson and how their sibling dynamic changed over time.

(0:03:00) – Childhood, Divorce, and Reconnection

Brennan reflects on how her parents' divorce affected her relationship with Jackson and how their bond began to strengthen as they got older.

(0:05:00) – The Day Everything Changed Brennan recounts the tragic storm that took Jackson's life, the chilling phone call from her father, and the frantic drive through fallen trees and flooded roads to reach her family home.

(0:07:00) – A Father's Desperation and a Devastating Scene She shares the harrowing details of her arrival: her father soaked and shivering, first responders delayed, and the realization that her brother was already gone.

(0:09:00) – A Freak Storm with No Warning Brennan explains the storm conditions and how a misreported tornado warning led to five massive oak trees being uprooted one of which landed directly on the home's front door.

(0:11:00) – Shock, Rescue, and Reality Setting In She describes the painful wait, her father's rescue attempts, and the surrealism of those first few hours of grief.

(0:13:00) – Storm Preparedness, Tornado Drills, and Coping with Chaos Maya and Brennan reflect on growing up with tornado drills and how this tragedy added a new, personal layer to those experiences.

(0:23:00) – Planning a Funeral Through Grief Brennan takes the lead on planning Jackson's service, navigating her parents' conflicting wishes, and honoring her brother with a celebration at his childhood church.

(0:26:00) – A Standing Room Only Memorial The funeral draws a massive crowd every seat filled, and hundreds standing. Brennan reflects on how that overwhelming support was both shocking and comforting.

(0:29:00) – Back to Work and Back to the Build Just days later, Brennan returns to work and begins helping her father rebuild the house, an emotional and physical labor of love that spans over two years.

(0:33:00) – Grieving Through a Pandemic She shares how grief collided with COVID-19, slowing down the rebuild and affecting her mental health, her parents' well-being, and their support systems.

(0:35:00) – A Fresh Start in Las Vegas Brennan talks about the pivotal phone call from her mom asking her to move across the country. Without hesitation, she says yes.

(0:44:00) – Helping Her Mom Through Grief She reflects on moving in with her mom, their evolving relationship, and witnessing how differently each parent handled Jackson's death.

(0:47:00) – Two Parents, Two Grief Journeys

Brennan discusses how her dad grieved through action, while her mom grieved through emotion, and how she found herself trying to show up for both—while still navigating her own loss.

(0:50:00) – The Only Surviving Sibling As the only surviving sibling, Brennan opens up about feeling lonely in her grief, questioning her place in her parents' world, and learning to own her voice and her story.

(0:56:00) – Advice to the Newly Bereaved Brennan's parting words are powerful: "Give yourself grace. Don't bottle it up. If you don't let it out, it becomes a monster." She encourages all siblings to reach out, speak up, and find safe people to lean on.

Listen to the full episode of "Brennan Loses Jackson To A Storm Accident" now on all major platforms.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®

Connect with Brennan:

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/19cVFTC25o/?mibextid=wwXIfr

• Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brennansaulter?_t=ZT-8y3tkBQ2egx&_r=1

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brennansaulter?igsh=ZWJ1ejZzamxzNWNx&utm_source=qr

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast