The Surviving Siblings®

On episode 4 of Season 8 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host, Maya Roffler is joined by Michael Tobin, who shares the raw and unfiltered story of losing his older brother, Jimmy, to homicide in 1992. Over 30 years later, Michael reflects on how this traumatic event shaped his life, his family, and his ongoing mission to keep Jimmy's memory alive.

Michael recounts the joys of growing up in a big Irish-Catholic family in the Bronx, the tight-knit neighborhood where breakdancing, graffiti, and hip-hop shaped their youth, and the bond he shared with Jimmy—a wisecracking, creative, loyal soul who was beloved by all who knew him. But in April of 1992, that world was shattered when Jimmy was chased down and killed just 100 yards from their front door.

This episode explores not only the devastating loss of a sibling to violence, but also the long-term impact of unresolved cases, complicated grief, faith, family dynamics, and the lifelong journey of honoring someone gone too soon. Michael's story is one of heartbreak, healing, and finding strength through memory, community, and creative expression.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Meet Michael and Remembering Jimmy

Michael shares about growing up in a big family in the Bronx in the 80s, surrounded by hip-hop, graffiti, and a strong sibling bond with Jimmy.

(0:03:00) – Jimmy: The Artist, Protector, and Big Brother

Jimmy's love for graffiti, music, and community come to life, along with heartfelt memories of his protectiveness and humor.

(0:06:00) – A Brush with Death: Jimmy's 1990 Car Accident

Michael recounts how Jimmy survived a devastating crash at 16, learning to walk again—a trauma that predated his murder.

(0:08:00) – April 3, 1992: The Night Everything Changed

Jimmy was ambushed just a block from home. Michael describes the events leading to the homicide and its immediate aftermath.

(0:14:00) – A Phone Call, A Car Ride, and A Life Shattered

Michael shares the harrowing moment he found out about his brother's death while staying in Long Island.

(0:17:00) – Delivering the News to Jimmy's Girlfriend

In one of the most emotional moments of the episode, Michael describes having to tell Jimmy's girlfriend about his death.

(0:18:00) – Wakes, Funeral, and Unimaginable Loss

Three days of public grieving culminate in Jimmy's funeral—a moment that changed Michael's life forever.

(0:22:00) – Reading the Eulogy: A 15-Year-Old's Defining Moment

Michael reflects on writing and reading a letter with his siblings to Jimmy—an act that would shape his voice and purpose for decades.

(0:26:00) – The Long Grief Journey: 30 Years of Remembering

Michael discusses the evolution of grief, the anger, the love, and the unshakable commitment to never letting Jimmy be forgotten.

(0:29:00) – Graffiti Memorials, Tagging, and Street Reminders

He shares stories of tribute murals, Taz tags, and how graffiti became a way of keeping Jimmy's spirit alive in the neighborhood.

(0:33:00) – The Case Still Unsolved

Michael speaks on the pain of unresolved homicide cases and the faith his mother held onto despite the lack of justice.

(0:35:00) – Faith, Anger, and Letting Go

He recalls his mother's unwavering faith and how he eventually turned a corner from hatred to honoring how Jimmy lived.

(0:38:00) – Closure Isn't Real, But Perspective Is

Maya and Michael discuss the myth of closure, and why time doesn't heal—but allows you to carry grief differently.

(0:42:00) – Friends, Support, and Found Family

Michael expresses gratitude for the friends and chosen family who carried him through the darkest years.

(0:44:00) – Coping Without Answers

They dive into the reality of unsolved cases, lingering pain, and how the pursuit of justice often looks nothing like TV.

(0:49:00) – Advice for Siblings Grieving Homicide Loss

Michael offers heartfelt advice for those stuck in anger, seeking justice, or waiting for closure that may never come.

(0:51:00) – Family Dynamics, Different Grief Journeys

He reflects on how each sibling grieved differently and how his mother's legacy of "stay together" held the family through decades.

Listen to the full episode of "Michael Loses Jimmy To Homicide" now on all major platforms.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®

Connect with Michael:

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1BVqGoMYNm/?mibextid=wwXIfr

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaeltobinbx?igsh=MTJzdWxud2dzYWhlNg%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

• Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@michaeltobinbx?_t=ZT-8ykCk48tOak&_r=1

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1FFfiGmNiD/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On episode 3 of Season 8 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host, Maya Roffler sits down with three surviving siblings Elizabeth, Roger (Avery), and Ryan to share the heartbreaking and inspiring story of losing their sister, Kathryn "Kayleigh" Thurgaland, in a tragic car accident in October 2020.

What makes this episode truly unique is hearing the story from three perspectives, each sibling offering a different memory, emotion, and lens through which Kayleigh is remembered. From early childhood memories filled with family bonfires and music, to the unimaginable moment of receiving the call that she had passed, this episode is a portrait of a family that has chosen love, unity, and legacy in the face of profound loss.

Kayleigh was a gifted artist, dancer, and musician whose spirit lives on through the Kathryn Lee Thurgaland Foundation, a family-run nonprofit offering grief support to families, scholarships to young artists, and a celebration of life through their annual Love of Life Festival.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Introducing the Thurgaland Siblings

Maya welcomes Elizabeth, Roger (Avery), and Ryan to the show. The three surviving siblings share their family dynamic, what it was like growing up with Kayleigh, and their close-knit, creative household full of love, art, and adventure.

(0:05:00) – Each Sibling Shares Their Bond with Kayleigh

Elizabeth, the eldest, recalls being a "second mom" figure. Roger reflects on their musical childhood and fatherhood overlapping with grief. Ryan speaks about being the baby of the family and Kayleigh's influence on his love for dance and music.

(0:15:00) – The Last Day They Saw Kayleigh

Each sibling recounts the day Kayleigh returned home from college. Her final night, the last hug, and the moments leading up to the car accident that took her life. Their vivid, heartbreaking memories capture both the beauty of their bond and the devastation of sudden loss.

(0:26:00) – The Accident

Elizabeth walks listeners through the frantic hours spent trying to locate Kayleigh after she didn't return home, how she uncovered clues from snapchat, and the devastating moment the family received the news.

(0:44:00) – What Happened to Kayleigh

Kayleigh and a friend died in a car crash caused by distracted driving and speeding. She was asleep in the passenger seat. The car crossed a median and was struck by an oncoming vehicle. Both passengers were pronounced dead at the scene.

[00:46:00] How the Foundation Began The family shares how community support inspired them to start the KLT Foundation, honoring Kayleigh's life through grief support, scholarships, and the Love of Life Festival.

[00:51:00] Kayleigh's Art & Words Her artwork and powerful quotes live on—"If any flame could burn forever, it would be our own..."—now used for fundraising and remembrance.

[00:53:00] Grieving as a Family Ryan discusses how working together as a family through the foundation is healing, even when it's hard.

[00:55:00] Love of Life Festival 2026 Event details for the next Love of Life Festival in Weirsdale, FL—March 7, 2026. Music, art, and remembrance.

This episode is sponsored by The Kathryn Leigh Thurgaland Foundation

Out of their immense grief, the Thurgalands created the Kathryn Lee Thurgaland Foundation, which serves three powerful missions:

• Grief Week Support: Helping families during the fragile first days after losing a child.

• Creative Arts Scholarships: Supporting students pursuing careers in the arts.

• Love of Life Festival: A free, joy-filled event celebrating life, community, and remembrance.

Their motto? "Keep laughing. Keep dancing. Keep singing." — a phrase pulled from Kayleigh's own journals.

Learn More About The Foundation:

• Press Kit: https://www.kltfoundation.com/presskit

• The KLT Foundation: https://www.kltfoundation.com/

• KLT Foundation Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kltfoundation/

• KLT Foundation Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/kathryn-leigh-thurgaland-foundation/

• Love Of Life Festival: https://www.facebook.com/loveoflifefest

Connect with Elizabeth:

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.thurgaland

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ethuggg

Connect With Roger Avery:

• Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/avery.thurgaland

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rogerthat_1997

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rogerthatthug

Connect With Ryan:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryan_t_music

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ryanthurgaland

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On episode 2 of Season 8 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host, Maya Roffler welcomes Lori to share the heartfelt journey of losing her sister, Gina, to breast cancer. What begins as a candid reflection on sibling dynamics soon unfolds into an honest, powerful testimony of anticipatory grief, advocacy, and resilience.

Lori opens up about growing up as the "quintessential middle child" in a close-knit family, the evolution of her relationship with Gina from sibling rivalry to deep sisterhood, and how their bond strengthened through the challenges of Gina's cancer diagnosis at age 37. As a nurse, Lori offers a unique lens, balancing her clinical instincts with emotional turmoil as she watched her sister fight a devastating disease.

The episode dives deep into themes like anticipatory grief, family caregiving, shifting family roles, the emotional toll of being both a sibling and a medical professional, and the moment Lori truly stepped into the role of Gina's advocate, making the most difficult decisions no sibling ever wants to face.

Ultimately, Lori reflects on how Gina's legacy shaped the mother, nurse, and person she is today and offers compassionate advice for anyone walking the painful road of sibling loss to cancer.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Meet Lori and Her Sister Gina Maya welcomes Lori, who reflects on her childhood with her older sister Gina, their sibling rivalry, and how they grew closer as adults.

(0:03:00) – The Diagnosis That Changed Everything Lori, a nurse, recounts the moment Gina called her about a lump — and how the diagnosis of triple-negative breast cancer at age 37 turned their world upside down.

(0:06:00) – Treatment, Hope, and Medical Realities Lori explains Gina's treatment journey, the challenges of triple-negative breast cancer, and the emotional toll of watching her sister become a patient.

(0:13:00) – From Sister to Advocate Lori describes how she transitioned from "just" a nurse and sister to becoming Gina's full-fledged medical advocate, particularly as treatment options ran out.

(0:18:00) – Anticipatory Grief and Bargaining with the Universe She shares her internal struggles — including moments of bargaining and wishing she could trade places — and the power of naming those feelings.

(0:25:00) – A Pivotal Night, a Fish Tank, and a Shift Lori recounts the night she lost hope — and how it became the turning point that moved her from fear to fierce protection of Gina's dignity.

(0:29:00) – Final Days, Hard Decisions, and Saying Goodbye An intense and brave retelling of the days leading to Gina's passing, including making a DNR decision, choosing comfort care, and honoring Gina's wishes.

(0:33:00) – Cremation, Closure, and a Closed Casket Lori shares the emotional moments surrounding Gina's service and the deeply personal decision to protect her sister's dignity, even in death.

(0:37:00) – Grieving While Working in Healthcare She opens up about returning to work days after the funeral, navigating poor grief support at her job, and the need for better bereavement understanding.

(0:41:00) – Time Doesn't Heal — It Helps You Adjust Lori reflects on how grief evolves — why time doesn't heal but does allow you to adapt — and how her family honors Gina in small, beautiful ways.

(0:44:00) – Keeping Gina's Memory Alive for Her Children She talks about raising Gina's daughters with love and intention, helping them understand who their mother was, and showing up as a steady presence.

(0:48:00) – Legacy, Compassion, and Becoming a Better Human Lori shares how Gina's life and death transformed her — making her a better nurse, mom, and human being with deeper empathy and compassion for others.

(0:53:00) – Advice for Surviving Siblings and Caregivers She offers powerful advice for those experiencing anticipatory grief or recent loss: "Show yourself grace. Do what's best for you in the moment."

Listen to the full episode of "Lori Loses Gina To Breast Cancer" now on all major platforms.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®

Connect with Lori:

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1E4oRefW19/?mibextid=wwXIfr

• Tik Tok: http://www.tiktok.com/@mad.face.girl

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mad.face.girl

• Email: [email protected]

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On episode 1 of Season 8 of The Surviving Siblings® Podcast, host, Maya Roffler sits down with Amanda, who shares the heartbreaking story of losing her older brother, Bill, to hyperthermia in the Arizona desert. Amanda walks us through the unique sibling dynamic they shared, the evolution of their relationship as adults, and the tragic events that unfolded in the summer of 2013.

From the moment Amanda lost her housing at 19 and moved across the country into Bill's home, to the tight-knit bond they formed in the years that followed, Amanda paints a vivid picture of how integral her brother was to her journey. The story then takes a devastating turn as she recounts the day she learned Bill went missing — and the unimaginable moments that followed.

Amanda also opens up about the difficult grief path she's navigated since, including the mental, emotional, and spiritual toll of losing someone in such a preventable way. She shares how her healing journey eventually led to founding the nonprofit Bottles for Bill, which provides bottled water and education to prevent heat-related deaths — a legacy of purpose built from heartbreak.

This episode is a raw, real, and unforgettable conversation about loss, sibling connection, resilience, and turning grief into action.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Introducing Amanda and Her Brother Bill Maya welcomes Amanda, who begins to share her journey as a surviving sibling and her bond with her older brother Bill, a world-traveling Army veteran.

(0:01:00) – Growing Up With a Nine-Year Age Gap Amanda reflects on her childhood in a small Michigan town, the long-distance sibling relationship she had with Bill, and how they reconnected when she became a teenager.

(0:03:00) – Rebuilding Their Bond in Young Adulthood Amanda explains how a family divorce and new technology helped bring her and Bill closer as she navigated college and adult life.

(0:05:00) – The Cross-Country Move That Changed Everything Amanda shares how Bill invited her and her now-husband to Arizona after she became suddenly homeless — and how this gesture solidified their relationship and support for each other.

(0:10:00) – Tragedy, Joy, and Complicated Grief Amanda recounts the loss of a beloved figure in her life, her brother's newborn son, and how multiple layers of grief interwove during this season of transition and growth.

(0:16:00) – A Family Trip and a Final Hug Amanda shares precious memories from a family trip to Michigan taken just one week before Bill's death — and the last time she ever saw her brother alive.

(0:18:00) – The Day Bill Went Missing Amanda describes the moment she received the call that something was wrong, the shock that followed, and the surreal experience of traveling to the desert in search of answers.

(0:25:00) – The Moment Everything Changed Amanda shares the exact moment her family was told Bill was gone — and the primal scream that will forever live in her memory.

(0:30:00) – What Happened to Bill? Amanda walks through the investigation, autopsy, and heartbreaking discovery that her brother had died from hyperthermia — extreme heat exposure — after becoming disoriented in the desert.

(0:35:00) – The Unimaginable Grief of a Preventable Loss Amanda opens up about the psychological torment of losing someone to something so preventable — and how it sent her spiraling into questions and "what ifs."

(0:44:00) – The Role of Therapy and Asking for Help Amanda shares how grief therapy helped her pause her obsessive search for answers and gave her permission to simply feel her pain and begin healing.

(0:51:00) – Grieving While in Partnership Amanda discusses what it was like grieving alongside her husband, who also knew and loved Bill, and how deep communication became the foundation for getting through the hardest season of their marriage.

(0:56:00) – Honoring Bill's Legacy with Purpose Amanda introduces her nonprofit Bottles for Bill and how a small act of asking for $5 water donations turned into a six-year mission that's now donated over 300,000 bottles of water and saved lives.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®

Connect with Amanda:

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amandavferguson12

• Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/thatamandafergs

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bottlesforbillaz

• Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bottlesforbillaz

• Tik Tok: http://www.tiktok.com/bottlesforbillaz

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

In this heartfelt episode of The Surviving Siblings Podcast, host Maya Roffler welcomes Jessica Meyer, a bereaved sibling who lost her younger sister, Jen, to fentanyl addiction in 2021. Jessica opens up about the deep bond they shared growing up in a tight-knit Mexican-Jewish family and how addiction slowly dismantled their lives.

Jen was so much more than her addiction—an empathetic, talented athlete and the life of every room she entered. Jessica walks us through Jen's undiagnosed Tourette's and ADHD, how she began self-medicating with Ambien as a teenager, and how this evolved into decades of addiction, multiple rehabs, and painful relapses. Jen later found purpose helping others through recovery—but her battle with addiction continued in secret.

Jessica shares the heartbreaking story of Jen's final days, her passing just 48 hours after her daughter left for college, and the raw aftermath of losing her lifelong best friend. She also reveals the shocking discovery of a drug trafficking ring tied to Jen's death, her fight for justice, and the family's grief journey that followed.

This powerful episode is an unflinching look at sibling loss through addiction and the devastating reality of fentanyl-related deaths. Jessica's vulnerability, courage, and passion to honor Jen's legacy through her jewelry brand, Bullet Girl, is a tribute to both pain and purpose.

In This Episode:

(00:01:00) – Jessica & Jen's Bond Jessica shares their close-knit childhood, imaginative games, and growing up inseparable in a loving family.

(00:03:00) – Early Signs: Tourette's, ADHD & Ambien Use Jen's tics and impulsivity went undiagnosed for years. Ambien use in her teens became the beginning of her addiction journey.

(00:08:00) – The Beginnings of Addiction Jessica reflects on Jen's coping mechanisms, her early experimentation, and how recreational use escalated.

(00:12:00) – College, Trauma, and First Rehab Jen's assault trauma, college struggles, and introduction to harder drugs like crystal meth and cocaine are revealed.

(00:19:00) – Marriage, Motherhood, and Addiction's Grip Despite marrying and becoming a mom, Jen's addiction deepened—leading to lost custody and deteriorating health.

(00:24:00) – Boundaries, Guilt, and Tough Love Jessica painfully discusses the limits she had to set and the guilt of choosing distance the week before Jen passed.

(00:28:00) – Jen's Role Helping Others in Recovery Jen found strength in working at a rehab center—offering guidance to others, even as she privately relapsed.

(00:33:00) – The Day Jen Passed Jessica walks us through the traumatic discovery of Jen's body, the heartbreaking final hug, and the unanswered questions.

(00:41:00) – Toxicology, Fentanyl, and Black Tar Heroin Jessica shares her detective work uncovering her sister's fentanyl use, her dealer's identity, and how evidence led nowhere.

(00:49:00) – Justice Denied: The Aftermath Despite a paper trail and drug dealer identification, no legal justice has been served for Jen's death—fueling the family's heartbreak.

(00:56:00) – Shame, Stigma, and Speaking Out Jessica talks about the stigma of fentanyl deaths, public silence, and the pain of people not seeing Jen beyond her addiction.

(01:01:00) – Bullet Girl Jewelry & The Beautiful Struggle Jessica shares the story behind her jewelry line, the letter Jen wrote her, and the upcoming tribute collection called The Beautiful Struggle.

(01:07:00) – Advice for Grieving Siblings Jessica urges listeners to give themselves grace, avoid shame, and stay grounded in love—not fear—through the grief journey

This episode is sponsored by Bullet Girl Jewelry

Connect with Jessica:

• Email: [email protected]

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bulletgirljewelry/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bulletgirl111/

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

In this deeply honest and heartfelt episode of The Surviving Siblings Podcast, host Maya Roffler sits down with LeAnn Sullivan, a bereaved sister who lost her brother Michael to addiction in 2016. LeAnn shares her powerful story of love, loss, resilience, and healing after years of navigating a complicated family dynamic, her brother's addiction, and her own journey through grief.

Growing up with divorced parents and facing early separation from Michael, LeAnn always saw herself as his protector. Despite their time apart, they reconnected as young adults, building a bond that helped them raise their respective children together and create a deeply rooted sibling relationship. When Michael passed away unexpectedly, LeAnn's world crumbled. But in the years since, she has turned her pain into purpose—becoming an advocate for families affected by addiction and a board member of the Shevlin Family Foundation.

This episode explores the complexity of sibling grief after addiction, the layers of family trauma, and the power of transforming pain into community and service. LeAnn's story is one of loss, but also of light—a testament to what it means to survive, heal, and honor a sibling's legacy.

In This Episode:

(00:01:00) – LeAnn's Early Life & Separation from Michael (00:03:00) – Reconnecting as Adults & Becoming a Team (00:08:00) – The Call That Changed Everything (00:10:00) – The Physical Pain of Loss & Funeral Experience (00:14:00) – Returning to Work Amidst Grief (00:17:00) – Helping Her Son Through Grief & Recovery (00:21:00) – Family Strain and the Power of Support (00:24:00) – Michael's Addiction, Relapse & Fentanyl Crisis (00:27:00) – The Stigma of Addiction and Sharing the Truth (00:29:00) – A Turning Point: Losing Her Job & Finding Healing (00:31:00) – Creating Bowl for Hope & Meeting Christine

This episode is sponsored by The Shevlin Family Foundation

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction help is available. Please reach out to a professional or call your local crisis line. You are never alone

More About The Shevlin Family Foundation:

• Website: https://shevlinfamilyfoundation.org/

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shevlinfamilyfoundation/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shevfamilyfoundation/#

• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/shevlin-family-foundation/

Connect with LeeAnn:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/delcosrealtor

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

In this raw and profoundly moving episode of The Surviving Siblings Podcast, host Maya Roffler sits down with Jen, a bereaved sibling who lost her brother Teddy to suicide in 2017. Jen and Teddy shared an incredibly close bond, growing up as part of a large Sicilian family just outside of Boston. But their story begins even earlier—Teddy was a micro-preemie twin who survived against all odds, unknowingly carrying deep grief for his twin, Joseph, who died shortly after birth.

Jen opens up about the fierce sibling connection they shared, their upbringing in a culture that didn't talk about emotions, and the invisible scars Teddy carried after a childhood marked by severe bullying, trauma, and being misunderstood. Despite his vibrant, goofy, and deeply caring personality, Teddy struggled silently with mental health throughout his life.

This episode explores the reality of surviving sibling suicide, the hidden pain many carry, and the complex journey of grief, guilt, and healing. Jen shares how she only began to process her loss years later during the pandemic and how therapy has helped her reframe her survivor's guilt and begin to find peace. She also reflects on the final moments, the call that changed everything, and the weight of not getting to say goodbye.

If you've ever felt the heartbreak of suicide loss, struggled with survivor's guilt, or longed for healing in a family that doesn't talk about grief—Jen's story will show you that you are not alone, and your voice matters.

In This Episode:

(00:01:09) – Growing Up Sicilian Jen describes her "free-range childhood" and the powerful, chaotic closeness of growing up in a big Sicilian family, where cousins felt like siblings.

(00:02:31) – Teddy's Early Arrival & Twin Loss Teddy was born four months premature in 1975. His twin, Joseph, passed away shortly after birth—a fact Jen discovered years later on her own.

(00:06:00) – Protector & Big Sister From defending Teddy against bullies to enduring the silence of their home life, Jen shares what it meant to be the older sister in a family that didn't talk about pain.

(00:12:00) – School, Stereotypes & Sibling Comparisons Jen reflects on how academic pressure, comparison, and cultural expectations shaped both her and Teddy in very different ways.

(00:15:22) – Therapy & Rewriting the Narrative A family photo once filled with shame becomes a moment of healing thanks to therapy—Jen discusses the power of reframing grief and guilt.

(00:19:00) – Discovering Teddy's Twinhood Jen recalls the moment she discovered Teddy was a surviving twin and the emotional weight of finding a note he once wrote to God, asking if his brother was safe in heaven.

(00:22:00) – 2017: The Year Everything Changed After losing his beloved grandmother and a close friend, Teddy's grief deepened. Jen shares how she never saw the signs of his declining mental health.

(00:26:00) – A Life of Trauma and Suppression From childhood bullying to a near-institutionalization as a teen, Jen uncovers the deep traumas Teddy endured—and how their family culture of silence kept him from healing.

(00:30:00) – Teddy's First Suicide Attempt In 2003, Teddy survived a suicide attempt on Boston's Tobin Bridge. Jen recounts the hospital call that changed everything—and how the stigma around mental health silenced the conversation for years.

(00:32:00) – Saying Goodbye Was Not Easy Jen discusses the complicated decisions her family made after Teddy's death, the tension surrounding his service, and the 400 people who came to say goodbye.

(00:35:00) – The Call That Changed Everything Jen shares the moment she learned of Teddy's death—and how her family's avoidance of grief left her in prolonged shock for nearly three years.

(00:42:00) – Grief Bubble & Delayed Healing Without the space to grieve immediately, Jen's own grief journey was stunted. She talks about what it means to be "strong for the family" and the emotional cost of silence.

(00:44:00) – The Pandemic Awakening It wasn't until the COVID-19 pandemic that Jen was forced to sit with her thoughts—and finally begin to unpack her trauma and start to heal.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings.

If you or someone you love is struggling with mental health or suicidal thoughts, help is available. Please reach out to a mental health professional or call your local crisis line. You are never alone.

Connect with Jen:

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jen.hoye

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jen.and.pen/

• Website: https://www.jenniferhoye.com/miles

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

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In this heartfelt episode of the Surviving Siblings Podcast, host Maya Roffler welcomes Cryssy, a bereaved sibling who lost her younger sister, Danielle, to acute myeloid leukemia in 2012. As the oldest sibling, Cryssy took on the role of protector, caregiver, and advocate—navigating the heartbreak of watching her sister battle a devastating illness.

Cryssy shares her deeply personal journey of anticipatory grief, the pain of losing Danielle at just 21 years old, and the complex emotions of grieving while trying to stay strong for her family. She opens up about the regret of not getting to say goodbye the way she wanted, the physical toll grief took on her body, and the creative, meaningful ways she keeps Danielle's memory alive every day.

This episode is a powerful conversation about sibling loss, anticipatory grief, and finding purpose after tragedy. Cryssy also shares how honoring her sister through traditions, a beloved stuffed animal, and small daily acts has helped her heal—and how grief can manifest physically in ways we might never expect.

If you've ever felt the weight of grieving a sibling while being the "strong one" for others, Cryssy's story will remind you that love endures, even through the pain.

In This Episode:

(00:01:00) – Danielle: A Birthday Gift Sister Cryssy shares how Danielle was born just two days before her own birthday, how they celebrated together, and how their sibling bond was filled with love, chaos, and laughter.

(00:04:00) – Big Sister, Protector, Mama Bear Growing up as the oldest, Cryssy stepped into a protective role, helping raise Danielle and their brother, shielding them, and taking on family responsibilities from a young age.

(00:05:00) – The Call That Changed Everything Cryssy recounts the moment she learned Danielle was being rushed to the hospital after a bloody nose turned into a leukemia diagnosis—and how she instantly began grieving.

(00:08:00) – Facing Acute Myeloid Leukemia Cryssy explains Danielle's diagnosis, the aggressive treatment process, and how she tried to stay hopeful on the outside while preparing herself internally for the worst.

(00:11:00) – Holidays in the Hospital Danielle asked Cryssy to decorate her hospital room for Halloween and Christmas—keeping their family traditions alive despite spending their favorite holidays in a hospital room.

(00:14:00) – The Final Christmas Together Cryssy reflects on their last Christmas, staying up all night talking, exchanging meaningful gifts, and creating treasured memories in what would be Danielle's final holiday.

(00:19:00) – Saying Goodbye Without Words Cryssy shares the experience of Danielle's "surge" before passing, the bittersweet final days, and the deep regret of not being able to say goodbye the way she had hoped.

(00:24:00) – Preparing Danielle's Goodbye Honoring her sister's love of style, Cryssy lovingly prepared Danielle for her viewing—painting her nails, doing her hair, dressing her in jewelry, and ensuring she looked radiant.

(00:31:00) – A Dream Visit From Danielle Months after Danielle's passing, Cryssy had a vivid dream of Danielle smiling and telling her, "It's okay to be okay"—a powerful, healing moment that brought her comfort.

(00:37:00) – Grief's Physical Impact Cryssy opens up about how her grief manifested in physical illness, leading to hospitalization, sepsis, and a near-death experience that she believes Danielle helped her survive.

(00:48:00) – Finding Purpose in Grief Cryssy reflects on how grief has shaped her purpose, giving her strength to help others and reminding her that grief is love in a different form.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings

Connect with Cryssy:

• Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cryssycryssycryssy

• Email: [email protected]

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Nimbeedonut

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CryssyPerry/

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

Maya is joined by Stephanie Murphy, who bravely shares the heartbreaking story of losing her younger brother, Quinton, to a tragic car accident in 2001 when he was just 18 years old.

Stephanie opens up about their sibling bond, the fight that led to their last conversation, and the devastating night she learned her brother was gone. She shares how grief collided with unexpected motherhood, her battle with anxiety and alcohol, and how she found strength to heal—leading to nine years of sobriety and honoring Quinton's memory every step of the way.

In This Episode:

(00:01:00) – Sibling Dynamics: From Rivalry to Best Friends Stephanie reflects on growing up as the oldest sibling, her playful (and sometimes bossy) relationship with Quinton, and how their bond deepened during their high school years.

(00:04:00) – An Ambitious Young Man with Big Dreams She shares how Quinton's drive and charisma made him stand out—working multiple jobs, managing at Chick-fil-A, buying his dream car, and planning for a future in business.

(00:07:00) – The Fight That Changed Everything Stephanie recounts the emotional last conversation she had with Quinton after a disagreement over her relationship—and how that moment became their final goodbye.

(00:11:00) – Missing His Graduation & Growing Distance Stephanie talks about missing Quinton's graduation due to work, the lingering family tensions, and sending a heartfelt letter in hopes of reconciling.

(00:15:00) – "I Just Want to Cry…" The Night Before She describes the overwhelming emotions and strange premonition she felt the night before Quinton's accident—a deep knowing that something was wrong.

(00:18:00) – The Knock at 4 AM: News No One Ever Wants Stephanie relives the devastating moment her mother arrived at her door to tell her that Quinton had died in a car accident—and how her world shattered in an instant.

(00:23:00) – Finding the Unopened Letter While grieving at her parents' house, Stephanie finds the card and letter she had sent Quinton—still sealed. She opens it at his funeral, turning it into a final tribute.

(00:26:00) – What Happened That Night: The Truth About the Accident Stephanie shares what Quinton's friend—who survived the crash—revealed about the events leading up to the accident, including alcohol, missed exits, and heartbreaking what-ifs.

(00:33:00) – Grieving While Pregnant & The Anxiety That Followed Stephanie opens up about navigating grief while expecting her first child, the overwhelming anxiety that took hold, and how she struggled to find normalcy after loss.

(00:38:00) – Turning to Alcohol: Numbing the Pain She discusses how grief and family history led her down a path of alcohol dependence—and how it became a coping mechanism for years.

(00:40:00) – The Day Everything Changed: Choosing Sobriety On the anniversary of Quinton's death in 2015, Stephanie made a life-altering decision. She shares what led to her nine years (and counting) of sobriety.

(00:49:00) – Learning to Live Without Fear Stephanie reflects on how grief made her fear every phone call, every tragedy, and how she's worked to regain peace—especially as a mother.

(00:57:00) – Signs, Dreams & Spiritual Connection From vivid dreams to her son being born on Quentin's birthday, Stephanie shares the powerful ways her brother continues to show up in her life.

(01:03:00) – Acceptance, Growth & Honoring Quentin Stephanie discusses how she's learned to live with grief, why healing doesn't mean forgetting, and how she continues to make her brother proud.

(01:08:00) – Advice for Surviving Siblings Stephanie offers heartfelt wisdom for those navigating sibling loss—reminding us that while grief never fully leaves, we can choose growth, joy, and purpose.

This episode was sponsored by The Surviving Siblings.

Connect with Stephanie:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephaniemichellemurphy

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

Maya is joined by Dr. Parul Dua Makkar—dentist, grief coach, speaker, and author—who shares the heartbreaking journey of losing her only sibling, Manu, to oral cancer at just 34 years old.

Parul opens up about the moment she knew something wasn't right, the delays in diagnosis, what it was like navigating end-of-life care during the height of COVID-19, and how her grief transformed into a powerful mission. She also shares the legacy Manu left behind—his book Life Interrupted, a powerful collection of essays he wrote during his final months, which Parul helped complete and publish after his passing.

In This Episode:

(00:01:00) – Sibling Bond, Eight Years Apart Parul shares what it was like being a big sister to Manu—changing his diapers, watching him grow up, and how their love for dentistry helped them stay connected despite distance.

(00:04:00) – Global Nomads & Deep Connections Raised across continents, Parul and Manu lived in different countries for most of their lives, but their bond stayed strong through regular visits, daily calls, and shared professional passions.

(00:08:00) – "This Might Be Cancer…" Parul recalls the moment she saw the lesion in her brother's mouth.

(00:10:00) – The First Surgery & Fighting Back Manu underwent an eight-hour surgery to remove half his tongue, and despite it all, came back stronger—treating patients, traveling, buying a dog (named Maya), and embracing life with a new sense of urgency.

(00:14:00) – COVID, Cancer & Compassion Release When the cancer returned in 2020, Parul had to fight to cross the U.S.-Canada border during COVID lockdowns. She shares the emotional story of writing her father a letter, asking for permission to say goodbye.

(00:20:00) – "You Can Let Go…" On a video call, Parul tells her brother it's okay to stop fighting. He passes away just hours later. She arrives in Canada to plan his funeral—grieving, and still under COVID restrictions.

(00:24:00) – Loss Upon Loss Parul shares how, just three years later, she lost her father unexpectedly to cardiac arrest—just after Thanksgiving. She reflects on how it felt like her dad died of a broken heart.

(00:30:00) – Oral Cancer Awareness & Early Detection As a dentist, Parul explains why oral cancer is often caught too late, how misdiagnosis happens, and what signs everyone should look for. She encourages early biopsies and routine checkups.

(00:34:00) – Turning Grief into Purpose After Manu's passing, Parul completed and published his book, Life Interrupted, which he had begun writing during treatment. She shares how publishing his words brought her healing and closure.

This episode was sponsored by Duagoodjob.

Connect with Parul:

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PDMFamilyDental

• Website: http://duagoodjob.com

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-parul-dua-makkar-bsc-dds-facd-375324145/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/duagoodjob

• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCv46meC0Q0pwqTg8YD43-TA

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast