The Topical

It’s the highest award one can receive for achievements in journalistic excellence. Host Leslie Price accepts the prize with grace and poise as he showcases some of the show’s finest work.

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The U.S. may have some big changes coming its way after being acquired by Prospect Capital Partners. Hear what this could mean for the newly renamed United50’s future, assuming it has one.

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When COVID-19 struck, 17 year-old Syndney Powell was worried she might never get to take cash from her grandma again, so she decided to do something special. And now, she’s inspiring grandchildren all over the country to do the same.

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And really hard ones, too. Hear how the latest blunder by the federal government is frustrating doctors and state officials.

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More American retailers are doing their part to help protect our most vulnerable populations. Hear how Walgreens stores nationwide will now be open from 7 a.m. to 9 a.m. exclusively for brain-dead morons who have no fucking clue how to maintain a safe distance from their fellow shoppers.

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Hear how visiting the website of America’s Finest News Source could prevent you from contracting the

coronavirus.

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With social distancing in full effect, a new poll finds that millions of Americans are spending more time contemplating what John Goodman’s nude body looks like. Hear how people are dealing with the lingering questions over whether they’ll ever truly know of the contours of the A-list actor’s flesh.

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Financial experts are counting on the half-trillion-dollar stimulus to turn the roughly 200,000 men and women on Wall Street into coked-up animals eager to buy any stock in sight well into the morning hours without any break for food or water. 

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He’s the man the country has turned to most as a trusted and comforting voice during the coronavirus pandemic. However, the nation’s top psychologists now believe Dr. Anthony Fauci may be nothing more than an imaginary friend Americans have made up to get through this stressful period. 

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Social distancing is changing the way we communicate with one another. Today, hear how more Americans are making an effort to stay connected with loved ones and colleagues through shitty video conferencing software that just won’t fucking work.

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