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The Topical
The Topical episodes
- Baboon Couple Sues National Geographic For Distributing Private Sex Tape
Hear why a lawyer for the primates is arguing that by publishing the video, NatGeo has caused her clients irreparable harm.
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7 min - Study Finds Adults Over 50 Should Get Colonoscopy To Determine Whether Aliens Are Controlling You From The Inside
Hear why you or a loved one could be at increased risk of being piloted by an extraterrestrial like a fleshy, human skin puppet.
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8 min - Nation’s Long-Haired Old Men In Flowy Linen Shirts Announce You Are Loved
Hear why these gentle elders are adamant that their love for us all needs no reason, just as a sunrise need not a reason to be breathtaking.
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8 min - Inside The Sacred Temple Where ‘People’ Magazine’s Ancestral Editors Choose Their Sexiest Man Alive Each Year
From George Clooney to Michael B. Jordan, People magazine publishes this attention-grabbing feature every winter. But how do they do it? We’ll take a look inside the holy site where the coveted hunk is chosen each year.
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11 min - Newly Uncovered DNA Evidence Frees Thousands Of Damned Souls From Hell
Hear how justice was finally served for those wrongfully accused of greed, glutony, and premarital sex.
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8 min - American Obesity Epidemic Traced To Single Heavyset ‘Mayflower’ Passenger
On this special Thanksgiving Day episode, hear how your own tendency to overeat and your aversion to exercise could stem all the way back to one 327-pound Plymouth Colony settler named Jeremiah Alden.
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9 min - Humane Society Urges Americans To Opt For Shelter Turkey This Thanksgiving
Hear why some animal activists are asking people to consider giving one of the thousands of lonely turkeys trapped in an animal shelter a nice, warm forever home this Thanksgiving.
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9 min - Anti-Jacketers Rally Outside Burlington Coat Factory To Protest Liberal Cold Weather Conspiracy
Hear why members of the growing movement are calling cold weather nothing more than a leftist hoax made up to force Americans into thick down layers.
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8 min - Monsanto Lab On Lockdown After Scientists Find Shattered Tomato Containment Unit
Hear why Monsanto authorities are still struggling to apprehend the tomato due to it’s unusual size and strength.
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10 min - Hormel CEO Dares Anyone To Try And Come For His Chili Empire
Hear why if you come for the crown of Hormel CEO Jim Snee, King of Chilli, you best not miss.
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8 min
About The Topical
From the publisher's feed
The Topical is the daily podcast from The Onion and Onion Public Radio, and the only podcast brave enough to ask: What if the news had sound effects? Join host Leslie Price each day as he barely…
scratches the surface of all the day’s top news stories. Journalism isn’t dead. It's using its dying breath to beg you to listen to The Topical. New episodes published every weekday by 5 a.m. Eastern time.
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