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The Topical
The Topical episodes
- Hottest Toys For the Holiday Season That Your Daughter’s New Stepfather Will Probably Get Her To Make You Look Bad
Plus, what to get for your one cousin this year who’s obsessed with militias.
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10 min - Health Officials Warn Holiday Travel Could Cause Spike In Millions Of Americans Falling For Old Hometown Flame
Hear why going back to a romanticized version of your past could put you at increased risk of having your heart broken yet again by an ex-lover from your youth.
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10 min - CDC Announces Children Will Be Last To Receive Covid Vaccine Because What Are Those Little Twerps Going To Do About It
Hear why your place in line for a vaccine will definitely be before any of those little peabrains because what’s the worst they can do? Go cry to their mommies?
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9 min - Nation’s Moms Demand Christmas List
Hear what mothers around the country are threatening to do if they do not receive a full and complete list this instant.
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8 min - Nation Worried After Catholic Church Issues Really Vague Apology
Amid unclear pleas of “Forgive us” and “God have mercy,” hear why experts have been left to speculate on what possible atrocity the Church could have committed this time.
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9 min - All The News That 83-Year-Old Tabitha Williams Wants To Hear, As She’s The Only Listener Who Pledged More Than $25 To The Topical’s Patreon This Month
Sorry, but if you wanted to hear news relevant to your interests, or just the national landscape in general, then you should have been a little more generous toward our Patreon.
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11 min - Rising Coronavirus Cases Force Chicago To Set Up Temporary Bars In Hospitals
Hear why Chicago officials are hopeful they’ll be able to effectively serve all citizens a frothy craft IPA in a chilled mug throughout the makeshift drinking establishments.
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9 min - Barack Obama Enrolls In Self-Defense Classes After Trump Rolls Back Secret Service Protection For Former Presidents Named Barack Obama
Hear why former President Obama is also investing in a Ring camera for his front door and a fresh can of pepper spray.
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8 min - Brian Kemp Unveils Specially Trained Hogs That Can Root Out Voter Fraud
Hear why the Georgia governor is hopeful this herd of swine will be able to detect something humans cannot.
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9 min - Pope Francis Bags 6-Winged Trophy Angel During Vatican’s Annual Seraphim Hunt
OPR joins His Holy Father in the most remote parts of Heaven to learn a little more about this time-honored tradition.
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10 min
About The Topical
From the publisher's feed
The Topical is the daily podcast from The Onion and Onion Public Radio, and the only podcast brave enough to ask: What if the news had sound effects? Join host Leslie Price each day as he barely…
scratches the surface of all the day’s top news stories. Journalism isn’t dead. It's using its dying breath to beg you to listen to The Topical. New episodes published every weekday by 5 a.m. Eastern time.
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