Ending your relationship with a narcissist can leave one feeling discarded, less than, and what Ross Rosenberg, author of “Human Magnet Syndrome” calls “Pathologically lonely.” That loneliness is part of what Rosenberg Identifies as “Self-Love Deficit Disorder.” https://www.selfloverecovery.com/pages/self-love-deficit-disorder-and-self-love-abundance In today’s episode, Tony reads a few listener reviews, and then he addresses Rosenberg’s model to move from “Self-Love Deficit Disorder” to “Self-Love Abundance.”

Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to take Tony’s mini-course on how to identify, and work toward, a healthy, emotionally mature relationship. 

With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.

Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

-------------------------------------------------TRANSCRIPT-----------------------------------------------

WUTN cure-2022-04-15-031.mp3

[00:00:07] Hey, everybody, welcome to episode 30 of Waking Up to Narcissism. I'm your host, Tony Overbay. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and host of the Virtual Couch podcast. And I missed you last week. Why? Because I didn't record a podcast. I was out in Idaho watching my son in law graduate from college. And if you've been following along on the virtual couch, the story of my daughter who got in a car wreck. It was a really beautiful moment. We had a local news station there that covered the story and the news station interviewed my son in law, Mitch and myself. And then they also showed my daughter Alexa watching the graduation from Arizona in her wheelchair. She's recovering. So it was just it was a beautiful moment. But I had all the intentions in the world of recording an episode while I was on the road. And and I did not get to that and I missed it. I love the feedback that I'm getting from waking up to narcissism, so that's a nice way for me to say thank you and please keep the questions coming and the stories and the suggestions. And I will get to those. I will get to those at some point for sure. I continue to keep this running document that has the questions that people are asking, and they are numerous and they are plentiful, and I want to cover all of them at some point. I really do.

[00:01:17] I want to start today by reading a few of the reviews that have come in recently. Then I've got an email and then we are getting to an amazing topic. I'm going to talk a lot about the author of Human Magnet Syndrome, and I found some information on a concept called Pathological Loneliness, and I just love when you can learn new things there. Again, no scarcity of information in trying to learn more about emotional immaturity, narcissistic traits and tendencies, narcissistic behavior. So please, by all means binge this podcast, other podcasts, YouTube videos, groups, whatever you need to do. It's a process. It is a journey and a process. And in the private Facebook group that I run for women in narcissistic relationships again,

Tony asks the question, are you really looking for advice or validation? Tony reads Hunter S. Thompson's iconic "Letter on Finding Your Purpose and Living a Meaningful Life." Thompson wrote the letter in April of 1958 at the age of 22 to his friend, Hume Logan, in response to Logan's request for life advice. Many believe that Thompson's letter to Logan is some of the most profound and thoughtful advice one can read when attempting to look at the true desire of putting your life decisions in the hands of others. 

Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.

With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.

Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

--------------------------------------------------TRANSCRIPT-----------------------------------------------

[00:00:00] Recently I was approached by somebody that I knew, but I really didn't know him very well. We had circled around each other for the past few years and we would say hi to each other on occasion. And this is one of those people that you just decide that you like because they are likable. You don't really know them, but you like them. So when this person and let's just call him Stan, but that is absolutely not his name. But when Stan approached me and he said that he had started binging on my podcast, what typically comes next is a specific question about an episode, and so I'm already prepping myself to let Stan know that I record the podcast off the cuff, maybe with a note or two, an outline, and I don't necessarily remember specific things that I said or and then Stan hits me with this Jim. He said, I really resonate with what you say about you're not broken, you're human. You're the only version of you with your nature and your nurture, your birth order, your DNA, all of those things. Because he said, I often feel like, yeah, I am broken or what's wrong with me? So he said, I love it and I'm even moving on to aggressively trying to discover my values.

[00:00:55] And he said, You're right. As soon as I start expressing my values to those people around me, I'm starting to be told that I really don't think that or I really don't think this or one friend said, But you've always said that you didn't really care about wanting to sing in public, that you would realize that was just a childhood fantasy. So you you're kind of giving up on that, right? And Stan said that he realized that he's been trying to convince himself that certain things that he'd always wanted to do or the person that he always wanted to be. Well, those things weren't true about him because he wasn't doing them. So, yeah, he was starting to tell everybody around him. Yeah, I guess those things don't really matter. Those are just childhood fantasies or dreams. But then he said in binging on the podcast, he's realized that there were a lot of things that he wanted to do and th...

Tony welcomes therapist and friend Sam Tielemans, LMFT, to the Virtual Couch. They cover topics from shame's role in furthering addictive behaviors to why working with your spouse can ultimately be a powerful way to enhance recovery. They tackle the challenging issue of pornography, is it an addiction or does that matter when it comes to recovery? They challenge the "once an addict, always an addict" dialogue often heard in the recovery world. And they give some new insight on working with betrayal trauma. You can find Sam at http://coupleshealing.org and subscribe to his podcast Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction.

Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop on April 7th. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.

With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.

Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

---------------------------------------------TRANSCRIPT----------------------------------------------

[00:00:15] Come on, take a seat, I.

[00:00:22] Hey, everybody, welcome to Episode 316 of the Virtual Couch. I am your host, Tony Overbay. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified mindful habit coach, writer, speaker, husband, father for ultramarathon runner and creator of The Path Back and online pornography recovery program that is helping people just become the very best versions of themselves without needing to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms. And the way you do that is, is truly plugging up the holes in your relationships and your parenting and your faith and your health and your career. And that's the stuff that we really work on. And sure, we help someone move away from unhealthy coping mechanisms. If you want to know more, go to Pathbackrecovery.com. And I'm trying to get this out on time on a Tuesday, April 5th, and this Thursday, April 7th, I'm doing a magnetic marriage workshop. How to magnetize your marriage. And I'm going big on this one. It is virtual. You can find out more at Tony over Baker Magnetic. And here's the premise. If there is anything that you feel is even just a challenge in your relationship, if it's a struggle at times to communicate or you feel like it just could be better, that it doesn't mean that it's broken, that you are starting to head toward divorce or anything like that. It's it's normal. We do not have the tools in our factory settings on how to have the very best relationship or to show up as our very best self.

[00:01:37] Because of all the things I talk about on my podcast so often, our our abandonment wounds, our attachment wounds, and how we show up in our relationship and our fear of invalidation and our need for external validation. And are you differentiated? Are you two autonomous people coming together with curiosity and all these other buzzwords and things that I talk about that I'm getting passionate about right now, even as I'm just describing them?

Tony Overbay, LMFT, defines "Coercive Control," as more than domestic violence. Courts across the country are now including isolation, monitoring one's movements, finances, daily behaviors, and more. Tony refers to the article "Does Your Relationship Include Coercive Control," by Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/5-types-people-who-can-ruin-your-life/202203/does-your-relationship-include-coercive-control

Tony mentioned his "Magnetize Your Marriage" workshop happening on April 7th. If you would like to sign up for the workshop, please visit http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic

---------------------------------------------------TRANSCRIPT----------------------------------------------

WUTN Ep 29 Oh my -2022-04-01.mp3

[00:00:07] Hey everybody, welcome to episode 29 of Waking Up to Narcissism. I am your host, Tony Overbay. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and host of the Virtual Couch Podcast and absolutely owning a big plug for the virtual couch this week. If you have not listened, I would encourage you to go listen to an episode. I did an interview with my daughter Alex, who virtual couch listeners know was in a horrific car accident 7 to 8 weeks ago. And it's just it's beautiful, it's touching, it's sad. It's she just goes into what this whole experience has been like and absolutely will plug as well that she has a go fund me that is going on to help with some medical expenses. But that interview is by far the most downloaded interview I've ever done in the first 24 hours. I'm saying that from a listeners for this podcast, from a healthy ego, not from a narcissistic you must go do this because it's amazing. Because I'm amazing. Absolutely not. My daughter is so real and vulnerable and that's it's just an incredible episode. So please go check that out. And today I am going to read we're going to read three emails from men. And I think there's so much here. And then we're going to get to a concept that is someone brought to my attention and I think it's going to really resonate. And does your relationship include what's called coercive control? And it's beginning to be recognized in law of what coercive control is.

[00:01:26] So we'll we'll wrap up today after these emails talking about coercive control. So first the emails. And I think that one of the again, one of the largest criticisms I get is that when I talk about narcissism, that it is primarily coming from the wife is the pathologically kind and the husband is the the narcissist or the extremely emotionally immature, immature or whichever, however we want to call it. And so I want to read something from one of the men, and he's reached out to me a couple of times and I so value his feedback and I think I've read something else from his early on in the waking up to narcissism episodes. And I we're going to break this email down because there's a lot of good here, but I want you to just listen. And as you listen, especially if you're a female and you have a, let's say, a narcissistic husband, that what does this bring up for you? And we'll see if we can break that down. So he says, Hey, Tony, love the stuff you put out there to help folks on your different podcasts. I just wanted to share a thought I had in regard to some things that I've learned. And let me tell you, the title of this email is The Blessings of Being a Narcissist Spouse. Already. That might bring up a lot of emotion for somebody that is saying, How on earth can you find blessings and being in our spouse? He said, As I am going through my own awakening to the reality of having a spouse with very strong, narcissistic tendencies, it's led me through some grief and sadness and at times a complete lack of hope and recognizing the abuse cycle, and that those fleeting moments of reprieve don't mean that things are changing for the better.

[00:02:51] That said, I've also come to recognize the tremendous blessings and personal growth that come with the acceptance...

On Saturday, February 5th, my daughter, Alexa, drove to the gym after completing a week in the externship of her dreams. She was just a few months shy of graduation to become an ultrasound technician. She had committed to a physical health routine months ago and was in the best shape of her life. She was living apart from her husband Mitch for the first time as he completed his final semester of college. Upon graduation, Mitch was planning on taking the MCAT in May. They had worked hard and sacrificed a lot to get to this point in their early lives in hopes that they would both be in a position to help others for the remainder of their lives. And then, in an instant, their lives would be altered forever. A large truck ran a red light and t-boned Alex in her Mini Cooper, throwing the car over 100 feet into a nearby field. Her injuries have been nothing short of devastating.

Alex, Mitch, my wife Wendy, and I discuss the impact of this devastating change on their lives and the effect that tragedy can have on the extended family, and how one event can significantly alter the future that someone had worked so hard to make a reality. In the episode, we talk about Alex's Gofundme account, http://gofundme.com/f/alexasroadtorecovery. If you are in a position to donate, please know that we are beyond grateful. If you aren't, we understand; we'll also take the donation of your prayers, your positive vibes, energy, karma, whatever you are willing to share. Thank you to everyone for your kindness. #alexasroadtorecovery

Tony shares a letter from someone recognizing the patterns of narcissism in their own relationship after hearing examples of others. Plus Tony shares an excerpt from the book "The Girl Before," by Rena Olson. In the story, one woman learns of how unusual it feels to discover what a "healthy" relationship looks like. 

Tony mentioned his "Magnetize Your Marriage" workshop happening on April 7th. If you would like to sign up for the workshop, please visit http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic

With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services.

You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.

Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ

---------------------------------------------TRANSCRIPT------------------------------------------------

[00:00:07] Hey everybody, welcome to episode 28 of Waking Up to Narcissism. I am your host, Tony Overbay. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and host of the Virtual Couch podcast, and we're going to start with an email today. There is nothing I love more than the emails that I get from listeners, especially the ones that are very vulnerable. And in this one, the person says that they want to share their email because they hope that someone else can relate. I'm going to change a little bit of the information. Not too much is really needed to change, but this is just so beautifully written out. It simply titled Thank You. And the person says, Hi, Tony. I stumbled upon your Waking up to Narcissism podcast a few days ago and I'm so glad that I did. She's very kind, she says. I only fear the day coming soon. When I run out of episodes to listen to, I will do my best to keep the episodes coming, she says. What I appreciate about your podcast is that you're the only one I found for people who are still in it. Every bit of information otherwise says there is only one answer and that is run and run fast. And that's a fair bit of advice for someone if they are in the very beginning of a relationship like this. But as you have explained and understand, it's just not always that easy, she said. I also appreciate your podcast for bringing awareness to the covert narcissism and tendencies and addressing it as that, she said.

[00:01:17] I found myself getting very caught up in a cycle of Is he or isn't he a narcissist? And I've learned it truly as a spectrum that isn't always so black and white. You're death by a thousand cuts episode. Your death by a thousand cuts analogy really spoke to me. My jaw quite literally dropped when I heard on one of the episodes where you gave examples of the little things that don't sound so significant until you think of it in that sense, it really is so difficult to find people who understand what it's like to be connected to a personality like this, she said. I'd like to share some of my own story in hopes that someone can relate. My husband and I have been together for 15 years, married for eight, and we have twins and another sibling. Let's just put them somewhere in the age between four and 11. I have always known something's different about him,

Paul Gilmartin, comedian, and host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast talks about his own struggles with depression, what led him to start his podcast, how meditation has helped him, what he does for self-care and why we need to continue to destigmatize and talk about mental health more in society. Find Paul at mentalpod.com 

Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop on April 7th. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.

With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.

Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

---------------------------------------------------TRANSCRIPT----------------------------------------------

VC-Bonus ep 2022-03-24.mp3

[00:00:15] Come on. Take a seat.

[00:00:22] Hey, everybody, welcome to a special bonus episode, episode 314 of the Virtual Couch, and I am your host, Tony Overbay. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified mindful habit coach and writer, speaker, husband, father of four. All the normal things. But on this bonus episode today, I want to just get right to the interview. And I used to do more of these bonus episodes, the second episode later in the week, and I'm always grateful for the feedback where people will email and it's new listeners who have a little bit of trouble trying to access the back catalog. And there are so many podcasts out there in the world. I think at the time when I started doing podcast five years ago, the number was around 600,000 and I've heard now over 3 million podcasts. So I know there can be a lot of just a lot of clutter, a lot of noise in that arena. So I want to put out a bonus episode every now and again. I go through and I look at the most downloaded episodes in my five years of podcasting, and this is one of them. And it's I really want to say it's one of the first I will call it a big gift that I had way back in the day.

[00:01:21] It was maybe in my first ten episodes, and I had reached out to a very funny gentleman named Paul Gilmartin, a professional comedian and host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour, which was a podcast I've been listening to for years at the time that I released my podcast. So I'm stepping on the intro because I talk about this with him. So I am just going to get right to a little bit of business. I am going to talk about my upcoming Magnetic Marriage Workshop. That's coming up on April 7th. So I've got a little cut, copy and paste from a previous episode where we're going to talk about that next. And then we're going to get your right to the interview with Paul Gilmartin, where we cover the topic of depression and Paul's journey. And I think it's just powerful. He's hilarious. I will say in doing a little bit of editing, I did take full advantage of an amazing software product called Script, and you can always see a link to that in my show. Notes to script is I say it's made of wizards and magic,

Tony revisits the "Levels of Intimacy." Physical attraction may be enough to bring a couple together initially but is it enough to sustain a relationship when you feel disconnected emotionally, spiritually, or intellectually? Or how about when you feel like anything you say to each other is a trigger for an argument? Learn how to form a more healthy view of intimacy, beginning with psychological intimacy, verbal intimacy, emotional intimacy, etc. Discover how to make physical intimacy the natural byproduct of a strong connection. Tony first learned about the Levels of Intimacy from Dr. Kevin Skinner of ADDO Recovery while receiving an 18-month certification working with victims of betrayal trauma.

With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.

Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

---------------------------------------------------TRANSCRIPT----------------------------------------------

[00:00:15] Come on. Take a seat.

[00:00:23] Hey, everybody, welcome to episode 313 of the Virtual Couch. I'm your host, Tony Overbay. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified, mindful habit coach, writer, speaker, husband, father of four, ultra marathon runner and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography recovery program that is helping people turn away from pornography as a coping mechanism and become the very best version of themselves that they've ever been in their entire lives. If you want more information on that, go to Pathbackrecovery.com. And there you can you can hunt down a a short book. Five Myths that people often believe when trying to move away from pornography as a coping mechanism once and for all. Again, that's pathbackrecovery.com and I haven't promoted this in quite a while, but head over to Instagram and check out the virtual couch account because I have people that are again starting to put out more content there and I got away from that for a little while and there's a lot that I want to share there. So there's going to be a lot coming up, especially in anticipation for my magnetic marriage course. So my buddy Preston, Pug Meyer and I are going to be putting on another round of the magnetic marriage course that's coming soon. But before that, and I'm excited about this, I want all virtual couch listeners to know that on April 7th. So that's in a couple of weeks, two, three weeks, I'm going to be putting on what I'm calling a magnetize your marriage workshop. It will be virtual and I will be promoting that on social media as well on this podcast and my Waking Up to Narcissism podcast. And I'm going to talk about the.

[00:01:48] Tools.

[00:01:49] That you need to have a more connected relationship to be able to have more connected conversations. I often talk about my four pillars. I talk about differentiation and being autonomous and interdependent and untangling yourself from this codependency and enmeshment and all of the buzzwords. But we're going to talk a lot about what that actually means and what that looks lik...

Tony Overbay, LMFT, gives more examples of how narcissists slowly destroy their partner's sense of self, using the "death by a thousand cuts" phenomenon. Narcissists will employ a consistent and relentless amount of small, hurtful phrases and actions that may feel like they aren't a big deal to those who haven't experienced the pattern. But to the victim of narcissism, it feels like they are slowly dying or "bleeding out" from the number of cuts to the psyche, ego, and heart. Plus, Tony breaks down an emotionally-immature review for Waking Up to Narcissism. A listener shares an incredible poem that describes the need to move from trying to fix the narcissist to focusing on self-care.

Tony mentioned his "Magnetize Your Marriage" workshop happening on April 7th. If you would like to sign up for the workshop, please visit http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic

------------------------------------------------TRANSCRIPT-------------------------------------------------

[00:00:06] Hey everybody, welcome to episode 27 of Waking Up to Narcissism. I'm your host, Tony Overbay. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and host of the Virtual Couch podcast. And today is it's the second episode of Death by a Thousand Cuts. But I have a couple of things to get to before we even get to the examples of death by a thousand cuts. I have loved when people have reached out and sent. We've had one poem so far. We've had a couple of letters that people have sent. The emails just continue to come in and go to Tony Overbay dot com. You can send them through the contact form, but I had someone share with me a particular email as well as a poem that I thought was beautiful. I want to start with that today. She said, Hi there, Tony. Sorry to hear about your daughter and to have to admit that. I will also say last week is the first time that I didn't release a podcast in the five years of the virtual culture, in the six months of waking up the narcissism, my number one goal has been consistency. And I did not get a podcast out last week because we were taking care of my daughter, which I've talked a little bit about. She's been in a pretty bad car accident. It's going to be a long recovery, but we'll get to that down the road. But she says, sorry to hear about your daughter.

[00:01:09] I admire how well you're working through it, at least from what I hear on your podcast, she said, I just wanted to share another poem with you, another prompting to share. I've been trying to ignore the prompting for about two weeks now, but I guess I need to learn to stop ignoring those promptings and gut feelings. Huh? And I know and I so appreciate this that she's talking about that is people are waking up to the narcissism in their own life or they're becoming more emotionally mature that it's absolutely it's imperative that you start to trust your gut. That's a place to operate from. And she said, I do want to say I so appreciate what you're doing. I've been feeling so much better about what I've been feeling, that I've begun journaling and working through a lot of my feelings emotionally, physiologically and spiritually. The last couple of months since discovering your podcast and she said, I've come to terms with the reality that I will work on myself and I will try to grow. And if my spouse is not on board with me and is not willing to grow with me or help me grow, then we may most likely separate, she said. Having a deep religious journey with our marriage, hoping all that we have done would eventually change my feelings about our marriage or his behavior towards me and the children has made it very difficult to accept this reality.

[00:02:11] But, she said, My eyes have been opened up to why I have felt the way I have over the last several years of our marriage, she said. I do have a wonderful priest who is very understanding and emotional immaturity and is supportive. Thankfully, she said, I love my spouse so very much and even with all the hurt he...

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the number of options in front of you? Whether it is what show to begin on Netflix, Hulu, Prime, or HBO, what major you should declare in school, or what to eat for dinner? Most of us have been paralyzed by what psychologists term "Analysis Paralysis," or being so overwhelmed by choices that we can't decide. In today's episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives deep into the many reasons we find ourselves not making a decision when there are many options. Tony references the following articles in this episode. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Analysis_paralysis and "8 Tips to Overcome Analysis Paralysis (With Examples)

With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visiting http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.

Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

-------------------------------------------------TRANSCRIPT--------------------------------------------

VC Ep 312 -2022-03-no chooose - 16.mp3

[00:00:00] I want to take you back to the golf course now. This golf course was located in Queen Creek, Arizona. It was over the weekend. And my son in law, Mitch, my son Jake and I, and then a fourth person that just happened to pull up named Greg, we were golfing in the picturesque Phenix desert. There were cactus. We were climbing, felt like rocks and over boulders. And the air was dry. And it was a really good day for golf. And there was one hole. And now I'm not a good golfer. I absolutely took last place if we would have been keeping track. And I honestly believe I was probably the only person that wasn't keeping score. But we were having an amazing day. And I remember we got up to a particular hole. I don't remember what the hole was, but for the sake of the story, let's say it was hole 13. One of my favorite numbers and I was about 150, 160 yards away from the green in the pin. And I look over to Greg, Greg's the more seasoned golfer, and I say, Greg, what club are you swinging? And he says, I don't know. He says something like, I'm going to I'm going to hit a seven iron, but I hit a solid seven, got the wind behind me. And I'm going to try to pull it or draw it a little bit to set it right up on the green. The flags blew it. That means it's to the back of the green and hopefully it'll roll.

[00:01:09] And then I look over to my son in law, Mitch, and I say, Mitch, what would you swing from here? And he says, You know, I usually blade the shot and so I might hit an eight and then just hope that I, I just really make contact. I look over at Jake, Jake's a really big hitter, and Jake says, you know, I might use an eight, but he's like, But you know what? I might. I might even pull out a hybrid club and just try to hit this thing solid, let it just hit the grass in front of the green and just roll right on. And all of a sudden I think, what club am I going to hit? And I look at my bag and I've got the wood, I've got the hybrid, I've got the the 6 to 7, the eight, the nine. And I don't even know. And I sit there and I find myself paralyzed and all of a sudden a course marshal c...