Have you ever made a decision that looked right on paper but something in your body felt tight, heavy, or off? On the flip side, have you ever made a choice that didn’t make logical sense at all, but you felt calm, expansive, and strangely certain?

That is the difference between ego-led decisions and soul-led choices .

We often talk about “trusting our gut,” but it can be difficult to distinguish whether that internal voice is actually driving us toward our highest good or just trying to keep us comfortable. Learning this distinction can deepen your intuition and lead to real expansion .

The Ego is Not the Enemy

First, let’s clear something up: The ego is not bad . Its job is simply to keep us safe . It constantly scans for risk, rejection, embarrassment, and failure because it wants to avoid those things to keep you feeling good .

The soul, on the other hand, is here for growth, alignment, and truth . It is less concerned with comfort and more focused on becoming .

The challenge isn’t having an ego. The challenge is letting the ego drive when it was meant to be a passenger .

Here is how to tell the difference between the two.

1. Feel It in Your Body

Your body is often the fastest truth-teller .

* Ego choices: These usually feel tight, constricted, rushed, heavy, and urgent . Think about when you receive an inflammatory email and immediately want to respond to prove you are right . That is your ego .

* Soul choices: These often feel expansive, grounded, calm, open, and steady, even if they are scary .

The ego shouts, but the soul whispers . If your body feels like it is bracing for impact, ask yourself: “What or who am I trying to protect right now?” .

2. See the Bigger Picture

The ego thinks short term . It asks questions like: “What will they think? What if I fail? How do I avoid discomfort?” .

The soul thinks long term . It sees the bigger picture and asks: “Who am I becoming? What aligns with my values?” .

When you zoom out, clarity zooms in . If a choice only makes sense in the immediate moment, it is usually ego-led . If it aligns with your deeper direction—even if it is uncomfortable—it is likely soul-led .

3. Identify the Resistance

Resistance is a powerful clue, but it needs interpretation .

Ego resistance sounds like panic or avoidance: “I’m not ready yet. Now’s not the right time. I need more information.” . It is the voice that urges you to fight back or hide to prove a point .

Soul resistance feels different; it is quieter . It is often about timing or integrity .

Ask yourself: Is this resistance coming from fear or from wisdom? . Fear tightens you up, while wisdom steadies you .

4. Are You Choosing Safety or Growth?

This is the big one . Ego choices are rooted in safety: emotional safety, financial safety, social safety, or identity safety .

Soul choices are not reckless, but they are not driven from safety alone .

Ask yourself: “Is this choice helping me stay the same or helping me grow?” . If the primary goal is avoiding discomfort, judgment, or risk, that is usually the ego . If the choice invites expansion and truth, even with uncertainty, that is the soul nudging you forward .

The Shift

When you start choosing from the soul consistently, things change. Your intuition gets louder, and your body feels more relaxed and trusting . Synchronicities increase, and confidence grows without force .

You stop asking, “What should I do?” and start asking, “What feels true?” .

The next time you are facing a decision, pause. The ego will always try to protect who we have been, but the soul is inviting us into who we are becoming . Learning that difference doesn’t make life easier, but it makes it more true, more authentic, and more aligned .

That is the Warrior Mindset .

🚀 Want to go deeper?

If you recognized the voice of the Ego in this post—that tight, frantic need to “hustle and grind” and you are ready to quiet it down, I have a special invitation for you.

Intellect alone isn’t enough to succeed. You need the Intuitive Edge.

On March 25, 2026, I am hosting an exclusive virtual workshop called The Power of Alignment: Manifest Like a Pro.

We will be going deep into how to transform that Inner Critic (the Witch) into your Inner Cheerleader (the Warrior) using my 3 A’s Framework: Awareness, Acceptance, and Action.

It is time to move from reacting with stress to responding with calm, clarity, and confidence.

The Details: 🗓 Date: March 25, 2026 ⏰ Time: 7:00 PM ET 📍 Location: Live on Zoom 🎟 Investment: $33

Are you ready to stop forcing outcomes and start attracting them?

Click here to register for the Workshop: https://www.fitwarriorlife.com/aligmentworkshop

“I was a zero. I was probably a negative back when I was 25.”

That is how mindset coach Susan Vernicek describes the start of her adult life. She wasn’t just struggling; she was deep in a “victim mindset.” She was numbing herself with partying and drinking. She was convinced that life was happening to her rather than for her.

In this week’s episode, we sit down with Susan to discuss how she pulled herself out of that dark place (which included $30,000 in credit card debt ) and built a successful career as an entrepreneur and coach over the last 20 years.

If you feel like you are drifting through your days on autopilot, or if you find yourself self-sabotaging every time you get close to success, this conversation is for you.

The Trap of “The Void”

One of the most powerful moments in our conversation came when we discussed why we form bad habits. Why do we overspend? Why do we overeat? Why do we scroll endlessly?

Susan admits that for her, it was often about comparison. She would see something online or on a platform and feel like she wasn’t “enough” (pretty enough, trendy enough, successful enough).

She calls this “filling a void.”

It got so bad that she had to boycott Target. She realized she had a pattern; she would walk in for one thing and walk out with a $300 receipt. She was simply trying to soothe an internal feeling with external items.

Ask yourself: What “void” are you trying to fill right now? And what expensive or toxic habit are you using to patch it up?

The “A-Game” Formula

Susan didn’t fix her life by accident. She used a specific framework that she now teaches to her clients. It is called the A-Game Formula, and it has four steps:

* Awareness: You have to wake up. You cannot change what you do not see. Most of us are running on autopilot.

* Acceptance: This isn’t about resignation. It is about embracing and acknowledging where you are right now (the debt, the weight, the unhappiness) so you can release the resistance.

* Appreciation: This sounds counterintuitive, but you have to appreciate your current struggle. It is providing you with data, evidence, and patterns that will help you grow.

* Achievement: Once you have the first three, you can finally take action and reach your personal achievements.

Stop Living on Autopilot

The scariest part of the victim mindset is that it feels comfortable. It is easy to say “I can’t do this” or “it’s not my fault.” But as Susan says, once you have awareness, you can’t unsee it. You have to call out your own BS.

If you are ready to stop drifting and start steering, listen to the full episode. Susan breaks down exactly how to use a self-awareness tracker. She explains how to grade yourself on your efforts daily (on a scale of 1 to 5) so you can finally see progress and change your behavior.

Resources Mentioned:

* Connect with Susan: susanvernicek.com

* Read Identity Magazine: identitymagazine.net

* Follow on Instagram: @susanvernicek

* Susan’s Book: Get All A’s in the Game of Life

* Book Mentioned: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

About the Guest:

Susan Vernicek is a mindset coach, author, and speaker with over 20 years of entrepreneurial experience. As the founder of Identity Magazine and the creator of the “A-Game” formula, she helps high-performers and mompreneurs shift from a “victim” state to a “warrior” mindset. She specializes in helping women break through mental blocks to achieve their next level of success without the guilt.

In the corporate world, we worship data. It has become our modern religion. We operate under the belief that if we just gather enough spreadsheets, create enough charts, and analyze enough metrics, the “right” decision will magically appear before our eyes.

But here is the reality we rarely admit: we are drowning in paperwork.

We are so inundated with information that by the time we process the logic, analyze the figures, and get the committee’s approval, the opportunity has often passed. We are trading agility for the illusion of certainty.

Some of the most successful leaders in history did not operate this way. Steve Jobs, Oprah, and Richard Branson have all openly discussed their reliance on a “secret weapon” that often gets dismissed in professional circles.

They rely on their intuition.

Don't just train your intellect; train your inner world. Join the Align community for weekly live healing and connection. 👇 FitWarriorLife.com/Align

It’s Not Magic. It’s Intelligence.

Intuition is often framed as something “woo-woo” or mystical, as if it doesn’t belong in the boardroom. That is a massive mistake.

Intuition is simply the ability to know something immediately without conscious reasoning. It is your brain processing millions of data points from your past experiences, your deep expertise, and your current environment faster than your logical mind can keep up.

This isn’t magic. It is high-level intelligence. When you ignore that gut feeling, you are actually ignoring your own internal supercomputer.

A lot of people tell me, “I don’t know if I can hear my intuition.”

You have it. The problem isn’t that you don’t have the capability. The problem is that your signal is jammed.

The Signal and the Noise

We are often too busy being perfectionists to hear what our gut is telling us. We get caught up in overthinking, people-pleasing, and seeking external validation. We scream internally, trying to find the “perfect” logical answer, and in doing so, we deafen ourselves to the answer we already know.

I call this voice the “Inner Witch.” She shouts so loud in our heads with fear, worry, and doubt that the quiet, calm voice of intuition gets drowned out.

To get this capability back, you have to clear the channel. You must tune in to the frequency so you can hear it clearly. This requires lowering the volume on anxiety so you can amplify the volume of wisdom.

Stop Thinking, Start Knowing

When you lead with intuition, your decision-making changes. You start making regret-free decisions. Your creativity spikes.

Imagine walking into a high-stakes meeting or navigating a difficult family dispute and knowing exactly what to say. Not because you spent three weeks agonizing over a spreadsheet, but because you felt the truth of the situation instantly.

If you feel like you have lost touch with that inner voice, or if you are facing a decision where logic just isn’t providing the answer, it might be time to stop looking at the data and start looking inward.

Ready to clear the noise?

I offer intuitive sessions to help you cut through the static and find the answer that is already inside of you.

Link: https://www.fitwarriorlife.com/intuitivecoaching

Let me ask you something.

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I’m not even doing that much... so why am I always tired?”

You aren’t running marathons. You aren’t working 20-hour days. Yet, you wake up tired. You move through the day exhausted. And by the evening? You are completely depleted.

If this is you, I want you to hear this first: There is nothing wrong with you.

This exhaustion is not a personal failure.

Most people assume that exhaustion comes from doing too much physically. But many of the high-achieving leaders I meet are not physically overworked; they are mentally and emotionally overworked.

You can look completely calm on the outside and still be depleted in your energy. Why? Because exhaustion is not always about effort. Sometimes it is about what you are carrying with you.

The Hidden Drain: Mental Overdrive

Here is what is really happening beneath the surface. You are likely dealing with two silent energy killers: Mental Overdrive and Emotional Suppression.

Your mind never truly shuts off. It is always planning, analyzing, anticipating, and problem-solving. You are constantly replaying conversations or worrying about what you might have forgotten. This mental tape plays on a loop.

While all that mental activity is happening, your emotions are quietly being pushed aside. We tell ourselves:

* “I don’t have time to feel this.”

* “I’ll deal with it later.”

* “It’s not a big deal; others have it worse.”

So, instead of allowing ourselves to feel, we just go on functioning.

That combination (constant thinking plus unprocessed emotions) is the perfect recipe for nervous system fatigue.

Why Sleep Alone Won’t Fix It

Here is the reframe I want to offer you today: You aren’t tired because you are lazy. You are tired because your intellect never turns off.

We live in a world that rewards the thinking, the doing, and the optimizing. We love optimizing everything (from our health to our to-do lists). But we were never taught about emotional maturity or true rest.

Your nervous system does not recharge through sleep alone.

Sleep helps the body, but emotional rest is what happens when the system feels safe again. When emotions are not processed, our brain stays in a low-level alert mode. It isn’t panic or crisis; it is just constant vigilance.

That takes energy. This means your fatigue isn’t imagined; it is biological. Your system is saying, “I need a pause. I need permission. I need safety.”

3 Steps to Stop the Drain

How do we fix this? Not by pushing harder. Not by trying to “fix” yourself. And definitely not by powering through.

Here are three things you can try today to help yourself feel less emotional fatigue.

1. Give yourself permission to rest without earning it. Most of us believe we have to clear our inbox or finish the laundry before we can sit down. We treat rest as a prize for good behavior. But rest is not a reward; it is a biological requirement. You do not need to earn the right to breathe, and you do not need to earn the right to rest.

2. Do something purely for joy. Engage in something that is not productive or useful. Find something that simply lifts your energy. Whether it is music, laughter, nature, or creativity, just get out there and do things for the sake of doing them. If we are constantly “going,” we miss out on the “being.” Remember: We are human beings, not human doings. Joy regulates the nervous system faster than discipline ever will.

3. Stop minimizing your fatigue. Instead of saying “I shouldn’t feel this way,” try saying: “Something in me needs a pause. Something in me needs care.” Just acknowledging that truth can lower your internal pressure and finally let you breathe.

The Inner Warrior vs. The Inner Witch

We all have that “Inner Witch” voice. She is the one whispering (or screaming), “Go, go, go! Do more! Achieve more! Optimize more!”

But we don’t always have to listen to her.

Instead, let’s listen to your Inner Warrior. Your Inner Warrior knows that rest isn’t weakness. Rest is emotional intelligence in action. The strongest people are not the ones who push the hardest; they are the ones who know when to pause, when to soften, and when to reset.

If you are tired today, be gentle with yourself. Your system is not broken. It is just asking for balance. Listening to that request is the most powerful thing you can do today.

Stay aligned and stay kind to yourself.

Chitra Rochlani

Ready to quiet the mental chaos? If you are tired of the “hustle” and ready to tap into your intuition for decision-making and peace, join us in the Align Lab. It is our weekly reset to help you peel, feel, deal, and heal: https://www.fitwarriorlife.com/align

Loneliness is one of the biggest threats to our success. We often sit behind our screens, convinced that we have to figure it all out by ourselves. We tell ourselves that asking for help is a weakness or that no one else can execute our vision as well as we can.

But the truth is simple: you cannot grow in isolation.

Today on the podcast, I am joined by Betty Galvan. She is a powerhouse who embodies the spirit of a builder. She is the CEO of MFBS Digital Marketing and the owner of The Co-Co, a bustling co-working community with locations in Summit and Florham Park, New Jersey.

Betty and I discuss her path from an early expat blogger in Japan to a community leader in New Jersey. Her story is a masterclass in recognizing opportunities and having the courage to step into them.

The Shift from Solopreneur to Leader

Many of us start small. Betty began her career evolution by writing a blog to keep her family updated while living abroad. As social media platforms exploded, she realized she could help other women build their businesses through digital strategies.

However, the real mindset shift happened when she moved from “doing it all” to building a team.

We discussed the difficulty of delegation. It is easy to fall into a scarcity mindset where we think we cannot afford help, or we fear losing control. Betty shared a beautiful story about how she hired her editor. Instead of being offended when a woman pointed out typos in her content, Betty saw an opportunity. She recognized a skill she needed and invited that person onto her team.

The lesson here is clear: Be open. When you are aligned and clear on what you need, the right people often show up to help you build it.

Finding Your “Third Space”

We also talked about the vital need for connection. Working from home offers flexibility, but it often brings isolation. Betty describes The Co-Co not just as an office, but as a “third space” (separate from home and work) where connection happens organically.

Whether it is a finance group, a podcasting circle, or a virtual power hour, we need spaces where we can bounce ideas off others who understand our drive.

Productivity Through Peace

If you are feeling overwhelmed by your dreams, Betty offers this advice: Identify your most productive hours and protect them.

You do not need to work 24/7. You need discipline and structure. Betty manages two businesses and three kids by being ruthless with her calendar and acknowledging that she cannot drive every carpool and close every deal at the exact same moment.

Ready to find your community?

If you are local to New Jersey, I highly encourage you to check out The Co-Co. You can drop in for a coffee or a day pass to see if the vibe resonates with you.

Links Mentioned in this Episode:

* Digital Marketing Services: MFBS Digital Marketing

* The Co-Co Co-working Space: The Co-Co NJ

* Connect on LinkedIn: Betty Galvan

Are you looking for more internal alignment so you can recognize these opportunities when they appear? Comment ALIGN below to learn more about my community.

We treat our bodies like temples, yet we often treat our minds like overflowing storage units.

Think about your routine. We go to the gym to work out. We take care of our skin by drinking water and using the right products. We visit spas for treatments that make us glow. We obsess over longevity and “Blue Zone” habits. We nourish ourselves with high-nutrient foods.

We do so much for the physical vessel we live in. But here is the uncomfortable question I need you to ask yourself today: Are you doing the same for your mind?

Or are you just skipping that part?

The High Cost of Mental Clutter

You could have the most physically fit body in the room. You could have perfect blood work and glowing skin. But if you are miserable on the inside if you are living in a constant state of fear, worry, doubt, or insecurity what is the point?

Authentic success begins with Inner Alignment. If your mindset isn’t working at its optimal best, your quality of life drops tremendously, regardless of how “healthy” you look on the outside.

I call this having an unofficial PhD in mindset. I spend my days studying the patterns, behaviors, and belief systems that make us who we are. And just like we need a protocol for our physical health, we need one for our mental health.

Here is a 3-step protocol, aligned with the G.R.O.W. model, to help you detoxify your mind.

1. The Assessment (Get Insight)

You cannot fix what you do not see. Step one is simply to assess where your mind is right now.

Take a moment. On a scale of one to ten, where are you?

* Is it a 1? (”I’m so stressed I don’t even know what’s going on.”)

* Is it a 10? (”I’m in a state of bliss.”)

Be honest. Are you constantly bombarded with thoughts of fear or insecurity? Are you running on the “hamster wheel,” trying to get everything done and please everyone else?

In my workshops, I describe the mind like a TV screen with a ticker tape scrolling at the bottom, like the stock prices on a news channel. Right now, is your ticker tape filled with 20,000 distracting thoughts? Or are you actually present?

We have glorified multitasking, but splitting your focus only adds stress. We need to stop pretending that watching TV while scrolling our phones is “relaxing”. It is just noise.

2. The Detox (Recognize & Release)

Once you have assessed the damage, you have to detox what does not serve you.

Just like you wouldn’t let garbage pile up in your kitchen, you have to clear the “old gunk” from your mind. This gunk looks like old fears, doubts, and insecurities that you have been holding onto for years. Maybe they kept you safe when you were younger, but now they are just holding you back.

This is the Peel phase of my PFH framework. We need to peel away the layers.

* Release the patterns: Write down the old beliefs that are limiting you and burn the paper (safely!) or flush it away. It is a physical act of letting go.

* Release the toxicity: This includes toxic media and toxic people. I stopped watching the news years ago because the toxicity was too high a price to pay for “being informed”.

* Energetic Detachment: If you cannot physically remove a toxic person (maybe they are a coworker or family member), you can still energetically detach from them. This is a powerful boundary setting technique I teach my clients to protect their peace.

3. The Nourishment (Overturn & Win)

Now that you have cleared the space, you must nourish it.

You wouldn’t detox your body just to fill it back up with processed junk. So, why do we do that to our minds?

Look at where you are spending your time, energy, and money. Are you spending it on things that bring peace, or things that add stress?

* Are you buying things just to “keep up with the Joneses”?

* Are you using coping mechanisms like food, alcohol, or shopping to check out?

* Are you giving in to a tantrum (from a child or an adult) just to buy a moment of quiet, even though it reinforces bad behavior?

True nourishment comes from quality people, quality situations, and quality time with yourself. It comes from making decisions that attract peace in the long run, not just convenience in the short run.

Your Inner Alignment Strategy

This work does not happen overnight. Sometimes it takes years to peel back these layers. But it is never too late to begin.

I want you to have a strong body and a strong mind. You deserve to feel as successful on the inside as you look on the outside.

If you are looking for a safe harbor to do this work a place where you can drop the mask and focus on building true mental strength this is your invitation to join us inside the Align Lab. We have facilitators providing different modalities because I know one size does not fit all.

Let’s start treating our minds with the same respect we give our bodies.

To your peace,

Chitra Rochlani

P.S. Ready to declutter your mind?

* Join the Community: If you want a fun, safe place to work on your mindset, check out the Align Lab membership, join here: https://www.fitwarriorlife.com/alignlab

In this week’s episode, I sat down with a new friend, Nancy Steinberg, who has a story that will stop you in your tracks. Nancy is a healthcare communications professional and a passionate cancer patient advocate. But before she was an advocate, she was a patient navigating a terrifying reality not once, but twice.

Nancy is a 26-year breast cancer survivor and has been living with Chronic Myeloid Leukemia (CML) for the past 14 years. Her story isn’t just about medical survival; it is about the emotional resilience required to keep living fully while managing chronic illness.

Here are the biggest takeaways from our conversation.

1. Grief and Diagnosis Often Collide

Nancy’s first diagnosis came at the hardest possible moment. Twenty-six years ago, just two months after her mother passed away from metastatic breast cancer, Nancy was diagnosed with the same disease.

She was a young mother to a two-year-old son and was still reeling from the loss of her best friend and confidant. Instead of taking time to grieve, she had to go into survival mode. She underwent a mastectomy and reconstruction while working through chemotherapy, driven by the need to be there for her son.

“For me, the hardest thing was losing my mom... knowing that I had to look after [my son], and be strong, I just sort of persevered.”

2. The Fear of Discrimination is Real

Fourteen years ago, a routine blood test revealed Nancy had elevated white blood cells, leading to a diagnosis of CML, a type of blood cancer. Unlike her breast cancer, which she was open about, Nancy hid her leukemia diagnosis from her employers for years.

She admitted she was “petrified” of discrimination. She feared that if she checked “Yes” on the disability forms or disclosed her illness, she would be passed over for promotions or seen as unable to handle responsibilities. It is a stark reminder that even in modern workplaces, the fear of professional stigma forces many to suffer in silence.

3. Step Away from “Dr. Google”

If there is one piece of advice Nancy wants every patient to hear, it is this: Do not consult Dr. Google.

The internet is filled with worst-case scenarios that can send you down a negative path. Instead, Nancy emphasizes finding a community, real people who have walked the path before you. Whether it is a support group or just a friend who listens, connecting with others who understand your experience is far more healing than researching symptoms online.

4. Find Your “Fetal Position” Comfort

How do you cope with the anxiety of scans and chronic management? Nancy’s approach is refreshing: embrace what brings you joy, no matter how small or “immature” it might seem.

For Nancy, that means enjoying New York City theater, engaging in a little “retail therapy,” or sleeping in the fetal position with a comforting teddy bear from London. Her philosophy is simple: Do the things that make you happy. Cancer is something she lives with, It’s not who she is.

“I have my husband and I have my work and I have cancer... you have to maintain it.”

Final Thoughts

Nancy’s transition from a patient hiding her diagnosis to an outspoken advocate was sparked by an epiphany at a conference. She realized her unique position, straddling the worlds of healthcare PR and patient experience, allowed her to help others feel less alone.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by a health challenge today, take a page out of Nancy’s book: Step away from the search bar, call a friend, and don’t be afraid to find comfort in the little things.

Connect with Nancy: If Nancy’s story resonated with you, you can connect with her on LinkedIn: 🔗 Nancy Steinberg on LinkedIn

We are taught that empathy is a virtue. But what happens when your kindness becomes the weapon used against you?

We often believe that if we are just “nice enough,” “helpful enough,” or “compliant enough,” we can make our relationships work. We think our empathy is a shield. But my latest guest, communication coach Robin Robin Golinski, learned the hard way that for a manipulator, your empathy isn’t a shield, it’s a target.

In a candid and heartbreaking conversation, Robin shared how she went from being a prominent business owner to facing a “dark night of the soul” in 2011: a trifecta of divorce, bankruptcy, and foreclosure.

Here is what she learned about the high cost of compliance, and how you can reclaim your voice before it’s too late.

The “Service” Trap

Robin’s struggle didn’t start with her husband; it started with a core limiting belief developed in childhood: “I am only of worth through my own acts of service.”.

This is a common trap for many of us. We believe we are only lovable if we are useful. We think we can only be respected as long as we are providing value.

Because of this low self-worth, Robin was perfectly positioned for a manipulator. Unlike her mother, who was critical, her husband was her “biggest cheerleader”. He validated her. He love-bombed her.

As Robin put it in one of the most chilling metaphors of the episode:

“His praise was just the rope used to tie me up with.”

“I Thought You Were Smart”

The most painful moment of Robin’s story wasn’t the loss of money—it was the loss of identity.

When the house of cards finally collapsed and Robin realized her husband had buried her financially, she had to tell her 17-year-old daughter. Her daughter looked at her and said five words that cut deeper than any bankruptcy hearing:

“Huh. I thought you were smart.”

It was a knife through the heart. Robin had spent years trying to “finesse” the situation, thinking she was smart enough to untangle the mess quietly. But manipulators thrive in the shadows. By keeping his secrets to avoid “confrontation,” she had become an accomplice to her own destruction.

The Cost of Compliance

Why do we stay? Why do we say “yes” when our intuition screams “no”?

Robin explains that we are terrified of the backlash. We convince ourselves that “it’s just easier” to comply in the moment to wear the outfit he wants, to sign the paper, to agree to the demand.

But Robin argues that we need to calculate the Cost of Compliance. The cost is not just annoyance; it is the “erosion of yourself”. When you constantly comply to keep the peace, you stop trusting yourself. You realize you cannot rely on you.

The Tool: Hit The Pause Button

So, how do you break free?

Robin teaches us that we don’t need to start a war. We just need to stop rolling over. Her number one tool for building mental resilience is simple: The Pause Button.

Manipulators rely on urgency. They want you to agree now, while you are distracted or emotional.

* Step 1: Stop talking. (Talking too much provides fodder for them to use against you) .

* Step 2: Take a breath to move from your “fight or flight” brain back to your thinking brain.

* Step 3: Use a non-compliant phrase. “I’ll think about it.” “I’m not making that decision right now.”.

A New Beginning

If you are currently staring down the barrel of a major life reset, a divorce, a job loss, a betrayal, Robin has one final reframing for you.

When we lose everything, we feel like we have failed. But Robin channels Janis Joplin’s philosophy: Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.

Is it a loss? Or is it a new beginning?.

When Robin stopped trying to save the “house of cards” and finally let it fall, she found something stronger underneath: her own resilience. She realized her creativity, her skills, and her voice were things that couldn’t be foreclosed on.

Listen to the full episode to hear exactly how Robin rebuilt her life and the specific scripts she uses to outwit manipulators.

We all do it. We make schedules, we build businesses, we manage outcomes, and we tell ourselves, “I’ve got this”. We plan, prepare, and try to predict everything because we believe we are in the driver’s seat.

But somewhere in the background, the universe smiles and whispers, “Do you though?”.

The truth is, we never really had control. What we had was an illusion of control. It feels comforting because it gives our logical minds a sense of safety. But the moment life throws a curveball—a layoff, a breakup, an illness, or a global shutdown—that illusion shatters.

Suddenly, we realize how fragile it all is. We don’t control our jobs, our families, or even our next breath.

The Ego’s Favorite Drug

Control is the ego’s favorite drug. It numbs our fear of uncertainty. We treat uncertainty as something to be terrified of, yet uncertainty is exactly where the magic of transformation happens.

When we try to micromanage the universe, we create stress. When we surrender, we create flow.

Think back to a time when life didn’t go according to plan. Maybe you lost a relationship or your health took a turn. At that moment, it felt like your world was ending. But looking back months or years later, you realize that moment was actually the beginning of something beautiful.

I know people who received a scary health diagnosis and used it to finally take charge of their bodies and mindset. I know people who lost their jobs during the pandemic and used that empty space to start thriving businesses.

That “out of control” experience was actually the launchpad for the next version of themselves.

What Do You Actually Control?

If we don’t control the future, what do we have?

You control the input. You control your thoughts, your words, and your actions. You don’t control how people respond to you, but you control how you show up.

The present moment is the only real power we ever have. The caterpillar doesn’t control when it becomes a butterfly; it just surrenders to the transformation and allows it to happen when the time is right.

The 5-Hour Question

If you are struggling to distinguish between what matters and what is just “noise” from your need to control, I want you to ask yourself this question:

If you knew you were going to leave this earth in the next five hours, and you had 5,000 people sitting in an audience waiting for one final message from you, what would you say?.

Who would be in that audience?.

When I ask people this, they instantly know the answer. The trivial worries disappear. The need to control the outcome fades. Suddenly, the truth emerges.

Control belongs to the mind, but evolution begins in the soul.

Stop Waiting for the Shoe to Drop

We are so conditioned to fear loss that when things are going well, we start to worry. We wait for the “shoe to drop” because we think, “Something’s going to go bad because everything’s going so good”.

We refuse to accept uncertainty as a way of life, even though everything is uncertain. We don’t know if our jobs or health will be there for us.

So, here is my challenge to you today: Let go.

Stop allowing the illusion of control to take over your mind. You cannot control how the story unfolds, but you can always choose how you show up.

Have the courage to let go of the wheel and the grace to find yourself in the flow.

On Thanksgiving weekend in 2011, Ron Gold’s life was perfect. By the end of the day, he was fighting to survive.

We often talk about the “Warrior Mindset” on this podcast—that ability to push through boundaries and challenge ourselves. My guest this week, Ron Gold, lived that mindset daily. He was a successful Wall Street executive, an Asian equities expert, and an adrenaline junkie who spent his free time rock climbing, skiing, and cycling.

But on a warm November Saturday, while cycling with friends, a head-on collision with an SUV changed everything.

Ron woke up from an induced coma weeks later to learn he was paralyzed. In an instant, the “Wall Street Warrior” felt his identity crumble. He went from travelling to Hong Kong and Singapore to being unable to go upstairs in his own home.

The Trap of “Why Me?”

In this episode, Ron opens up about the darkness that followed the accident. He candidly admits that he didn’t immediately bounce back with a positive attitude. He spent over a year in what he calls a “pity party,” asking the universe, Why me? I’m a good person. I worked hard. This isn’t fair.

The turning point didn’t come from a doctor or a therapist. It came from his wife, Betsy.

In a moment of tough love that saved his life, she told him:

“In response to all these ‘why me’s’... why not you? Bad things happen to people all the time. What makes you so special? We are moving on with our lives. You have a choice: You can be the father and husband you were, or not. But we can’t stay at a standstill indefinitely.”

That question “Why not me?” flipped the switch. It forced Ron to realize that while he couldn’t control the accident, he had absolute control over how he responded to it.

The New Gold Standard

Ron realized that his old definition of success (the “Old Gold Standard” of Wall Street and physical dominance) had to be retired. He couldn’t go back, so he had to build something new.

He developed a new framework for living, which he shares in the episode, based on five pillars:

* Resilience

* Re-imagination

* Purpose

* Relationships

* Growth

This shift wasn’t just theoretical. Ron and his wife identified a massive gap in the home healthcare market a system that left families choosing between expensive agencies or unvetted strangers. They founded Lean On We, a network that has since helped over 2,000 families find affordable, vetted caregivers.

Why You Should Listen

This conversation isn’t just about surviving a spinal cord injury; it’s about what we do when the life we planned burns down.

In this episode, we discuss:

* The “Fixed” vs. “Growth” Mindset: How trauma can trap us in a fixed mindset and the specific steps Ron took to break out of it.

* Reframing Puzzles: How Ron treats his daily challenges not as roadblocks, but as puzzles to be solved.

* The Accessibility Reality: Ron shares the frustrating (and sometimes humorous) realities of navigating a world not built for wheelchairs—including why garbage cans with foot pedals are his nemesis!

* Legacy: How a near-death experience shifts your focus from “resume virtues” to “eulogy virtues.”

Ron is living proof that you can lose your physical mobility without losing your momentum. As he told me, “If this guy is still rolling around, pushing himself in marathons and rowing races, what am I making excuses for?”

About the Guest: Ron Gold

Ron Gold is a speaker, author, and the founder of Lean On We. After a 25-year career on Wall Street was cut short by a life-changing accident, Ron reinvented himself as an advocate for the disabled community and an entrepreneur.

He is currently active in adaptive sports, competing in hand-cycling marathons (including the NYC Marathon) and rowing races. He is also the author of a forthcoming book about his journey.

Connect with Ron:

* Website: www.rongold.live

Question for the comments: When you hit a major roadblock, what is the one tool or thought that helps you snap out of the “pity party”?

👇 Leave a comment below!