The Way Forward

Life with Autism Unwrapped.

My guest today is Fred Gough, who grew up knowing he was facing different struggles and challenges to his peers, but without the benefit of a diagnosis of Autism which he received in his 20’s.

Fred pays homage to his wonderful family for their love and continual championing of him to go out into society and achieve what made him happy.

Fred now works for The University of Derby in their Research and Knowledge Exchange Office. He lives a full and interesting life enabled and empowered to be independent in his options. His journey to here has not been simple, but today he shares with us the battles won and lost and what he looks forward to as an Adult diagnosed with Autism and the relevant support that can offer him.

• Autistic Spectrum Disorder is estimated to affect 1.1% of the UK population according to The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence website.

• Most of the diagnosis are for children (out of the 700,000 people with ASD only 180,000 are diagnosed adults)

• Men, trans women, intersex and non-binary AMAB (Assigned Male at Birth) people are most likely to receive a diagnosis. This is thought to be because females, trans men and Intersex or non-binary AFAB are better at masking their symptoms and camouflaging into what society expects of the neurotypical brain.

Fred is not medically trained and is relaying his lived experience in order to ensure nobody feels alone if they or their child are feeling like they don’t belong because of the way their mind works. So, let’s jump in and find out more about this insightful, candid and empowering guest and leave knowing our Way Forward.

I’m so glad you are here – thank you for choosing to be with me today.

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram @codesignwithfliss.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61551862146977

To connect with Fred visit him at: https://www.facebook.com/fjdgough#

https://www.linkedin.com/in/fjdgough/

https://cks.nice.org.uk/topics/autism-in-adults/background-information/prevalenc

ADHD is estimated to affect 5% of children globally and between 3%-4% of UK Adults according to The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence website.

And a WebMd article in 2022 suggests that less than 20% of those who have it are in receipt of a diagnoses (based on American Population Data)

• As it has gained attention in recent years, this neurodiversity is something that we all really need to pay attention to. Adults may be struggling through life undiagnosed. Children may be facing hormonal challenges unsupported – but that can change.

• Claire Frewcett joins me today to talk about her lived experience of ADHD. Claire did not receive her diagnosis until the age of 40, although looking back she always knew there was something that made her brain work differently from others.

• Claire is full of joy, hope, motivation and most importantly empowerment. She urges anyone who feels they may have gone undiagnosed to speak with their health care provider – because you don’t have to struggle through life anymore.

• She is also a passionate advocate for those with children who may display symptoms of ADHD to follow it up as soon as possible with the child’s healthcare provider, because School, Social interactions and especially Hormonal changes can pose even bigger challenges for those with possible ADHD than the neurotypical child.

Claire is not medically trained as is simply relaying her experience in order to ensure nobody feels alone if they or their child are feeling like they don’t belong because of the way their mind works. So, let’s jump in and find out more about this fabulous guest and leave knowing our Way Forward.

I’m so glad you are here – thank you for choosing to be with me today.

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram @codesignwithfliss.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61551862146977

In the show notes can we specify that Fliss and Codesign recognises and believes that when a guest refers to women, this includes trans, intersex and non-binary individuals and on the specifics of girls experiencing challenges at times of hormonal change this is refers to those who were AFAB (assigned female at birth) Can the following 2 links also be added to the show notes please https://cks.nice.org.uk/topics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder/background-information/prevalence/ AND https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/adult-adhd-facts-statistics also Claire's own blog is at https://clevercnts.com/

This is part 3 of 3 if you have not yet listened to pt 1 and 2 you can find them here

Pt 1 - https://podcasts.captivate.fm/media/885047a3-4e4e-4286-8d2b-55eeaedb262c/Fliss-pt-1.mp3

Pt 2 - https://podcasts.captivate.fm/media/dcc16eaa-ee5a-46e5-ba5c-d13c68b2e0d4/Fliss-pt-2.mp3

This third and final (for now) part of our trauma conversations is one absolutely soaked in HOPE. My lovely listener there is hope on that very dark horizon – even though I know you may not be at a place of knowing or believing it yet. All I ask is that you trust me, as someone who has walked through the initial hellish fires of trauma, been frozen by the mental and emotional ice age and lost more than she ever knew she had. I sit here with you today, continuing our journey, recording a podcast, running a successful Life Coaching Practice and being an active, connected and involved mother and wife. 

I didn’t get here over night, and the fact remains that I will never ‘get there’, because there is no ‘there’ to get to. We do not move on we just learn to move along with the trauma as a part of us that we can cope with and manage the peaks and troughs. Trauma can in time serve as a huge learning process and we can choose to use it to add value to not only our own lives but the lives of those around us.

This may sound too enormous to even contemplate – so don’t just yet. Just know that it is there when you are ready to access it, there is not timeline, your own time is the only way. I never thought I would laugh (really laugh not pretend to please others laugh) again after my Dad’s tragic death. I thought my life had ended too – but it didn’t, and blessed was I that the most incredible people were not only waiting for me when I began to thaw out, but they were quietly there one step behind me all the way.

You are not alone. I see you. I hear you. I feel your pains. Keep going. Life is lucky to have you.

I’m so glad you are here – thank you for choosing to be with me today.

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram @codesignwithfliss.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61551862146977

Show Notes – Guidance taken from www.mind.org.uk

·        Samaritans. To talk about anything that is upsetting you, you can contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You can call 116 123 (free from any phone), email [email protected] or visit some branches in person. You can also call the Samaritans Welsh Language Line on 0808 164 0123 (7pm–11pm every day).

·        SANEline. If you're experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else, you can call SANEline on 0300 304 7000 (4.30pm–10.30pm every day).

·        National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK. Offers a supportive listening service to anyone with thoughts of suicide. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on 0800 689 5652 (6pm to midnight every day).

·        Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM). You can call the CALM on 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight every day) if you are struggling and need to talk. Or if you prefer not to speak on the phone, you could try the CALM webchat service.

·        Shout. If you would prefer not to talk but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258. Shout offers a confidential 24/7 text service providing support if you are in crisis and need immediate help.

·        The Mix. If you're under 25, you can call The Mix on 0808 808 4994 (3pm–midnight every day), request support by email using this form on The Mix website or use their crisis text messenger service.

·        Papyrus HOPELINEUK. If you're under 35 and struggling with suicidal feelings, or concerned about a young person who might be struggling, you can call Papyrus HOPELINEUK on 0800 068 4141 (24 hours, 7 days a week), email [email protected] or text 07786 209 697.

·        Nightline. If you're a student, you can look on the Nightline website to see if your university or college offers a night-time listening service. Nightline phone operators are all students too.

·        Switchboard. If you identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, you can call Switchboard on 0300 330 0630 (10am–10pm every day), email [email protected] or use their webchat service. Phone operators all identify as LGBT+.

·        C.A.L.L. If you live in Wales, you can call the Community Advice and Listening Line (C.A.L.L.) on 0800 132 737 (open 24/7) or you can text 'help' followed by a question to 81066.

·        Helplines Partnership. For more options, visit the Helplines Partnership website for a directory of UK helplines. Mind's Infoline can also help you find services that can support you. If you're outside the UK, the Befrienders Worldwide website has a tool to search by country for emotional support helplines around the world.

If you live in England, you can call a local NHS urgent mental health helpline for support during a mental health crisis. Anyone can call these helplines, at any time.

These helplines offer similar support to a crisis team. The NHS website has more information on urgent mental health helplines, including how to find your local helpline.

In Wales, you can contact NHS 111 and select option 2. This will put you through to an NHS helpline offering 24/7 urgent mental health support. Visit the NHS 111 Wales website to find out more about this service.

Listening line staff will let you talk through your feelings and experiences without judging you or telling you what to do. Many listening services let you talk for as long as you need.This podcast was produced by Listening Shelf Audio https://listeningshelf.uk/

We continue our journey through living with trauma today – again, it is just you and me because I feel that together we can learn to understand how trauma effects us and use this to help our recovery.

Taking inspiration from the incredible Carolyn Spring, herself a trauma survivor turned thriver, I will begin to unwrap the complex mechanisms that are activated in our brains and bodies when we experience a trauma. I was trained personally by Carolyn in the Somatisation of Trauma – which means that trauma is not just a mental and emotional impactful experience, but it also has physical ramifications too. Chronic illness, long term pain, disability, memory loss and altered sensations are all very real and very related to the initial trauma – even years after.

I’m not a trained medic or a scientist and I know that bringing this to you in every day terms is our best shot at accessing this life changing information. I can attest to the value because it is the same information, I have not only studied but also put into practice on myself in order to begin to recover from the trauma.

My insight into being frozen in trauma is something I think we can all relate to. The good news is that in episode 3 I will invite you to see that a thaw is possible.

I’m so glad you are here – thank you for choosing to be with me today.

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram @codesignwithfliss.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61551862146977

Show Notes – Guidance taken from www.mind.org.uk

·        Samaritans. To talk about anything that is upsetting you, you can contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You can call 116 123 (free from any phone), email [email protected] or visit some branches in person. You can also call the Samaritans Welsh Language Line on 0808 164 0123 (7pm–11pm every day).

·        SANEline. If you're experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else, you can call SANEline on 0300 304 7000 (4.30pm–10.30pm every day).

·        National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK. Offers a supportive listening service to anyone with thoughts of suicide. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on 0800 689 5652 (6pm to midnight every day).

·        Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM). You can call the CALM on 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight every day) if you are struggling and need to talk. Or if you prefer not to speak on the phone, you could try the CALM webchat service.

·        Shout. If you would prefer not to talk but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258. Shout offers a confidential 24/7 text service providing support if you are in crisis and need immediate help.

·        The Mix. If you're under 25, you can call The Mix on 0808 808 4994 (3pm–midnight every day), request support by email using this form on The Mix website or use their crisis text messenger service.

·        Papyrus HOPELINEUK. If you're under 35 and struggling with suicidal feelings, or concerned about a young person who might be struggling, you can call Papyrus HOPELINEUK on 0800 068 4141 (24 hours, 7 days a week), email [email protected] or text 07786 209 697.

·        Nightline. If you're a student, you can look on the Nightline website to see if your university or college offers a night-time listening service. Nightline phone operators are all students too.

·        Switchboard. If you identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, you can call Switchboard on 0300 330 0630 (10am–10pm every day), email [email protected] or use their webchat service. Phone operators all identify as LGBT+.

·        C.A.L.L. If you live in Wales, you can call the Community Advice and Listening Line (C.A.L.L.) on 0800 132 737 (open 24/7) or you can text 'help' followed by a question to 81066.

·        Helplines Partnership. For more options, visit the Helplines Partnership website for a directory of UK helplines. Mind's Infoline can also help you find services that can support you. If you're outside the UK, the Befrienders Worldwide website has a tool to search by country for emotional support helplines around the world.

If you live in England, you can call a local NHS urgent mental health helpline for support during a mental health crisis. Anyone can call these helplines, at any time.

These helplines offer similar support to a crisis team. The NHS website has more information on urgent mental health helplines, including how to find your local helpline.

In Wales, you can contact NHS 111 and select option 2. This will put you through to an NHS helpline offering 24/7 urgent mental health support. Visit the NHS 111 Wales website to find out more about this service.

Listening line staff will let you talk through your feelings and experiences without judging you or telling you what to do. Many listening services let you talk for as long as you need.

This podcast was produced by Listening Shelf Audio https://listeningshelf.uk/

Trigger Warning: Suicide

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Today we are delving into a universal and yet deeply personal subject – trauma. There is no guest for this one because sadly I am an expert in this field. I wanted to share with you my treasured and trusted listeners my experience – for the first time on record – of what it is like to witness, life through and begin to recover from life altering Trauma.

This episode revolves around the suicide of my Dad. It may be triggering for some, and I urge you to consider your current emotional and mental wellness before listening. I can assure you however that, that I approach this with nothing, but compassion, love and support and my aim is to gently explain how I was thrown into being a C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress) Survivor.

Your traumas, whatever the situation, causes and effects are equally as valid, impactful, and raw as my own, there is no competition or value judgement about who suffers more here. So, if you want to just open the door to trauma recovery a tiny, manageable bit – this is the episode for you.

And thank you for giving me a safe space to share my initially emotionally cataclysmic journey with you.

I’m so glad you are here – thank you for choosing to be with me today.

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram @codesignwithfliss.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61551862146977

Show Notes – Guidance taken from www.mind.org.uk

·        Samaritans. To talk about anything that is upsetting you, you can contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You can call 116 123 (free from any phone), email [email protected] or visit some branches in person. You can also call the Samaritans Welsh Language Line on 0808 164 0123 (7pm–11pm every day).

·        SANEline. If you're experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else, you can call SANEline on 0300 304 7000 (4.30pm–10.30pm every day).

·        National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK. Offers a supportive listening service to anyone with thoughts of suicide. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on 0800 689 5652 (6pm to midnight every day).

·        Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM). You can call the CALM on 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight every day) if you are struggling and need to talk. Or if you prefer not to speak on the phone, you could try the CALM webchat service.

·        Shout. If you would prefer not to talk but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258. Shout offers a confidential 24/7 text service providing support if you are in crisis and need immediate help.

·        The Mix. If you're under 25, you can call The Mix on 0808 808 4994 (3pm–midnight every day), request support by email using this form on The Mix website or use their crisis text messenger service.

·        Papyrus HOPELINEUK. If you're under 35 and struggling with suicidal feelings, or concerned about a young person who might be struggling, you can call Papyrus HOPELINEUK on 0800 068 4141 (24 hours, 7 days a week), email [email protected] or text 07786 209 697.

·        Nightline. If you're a student, you can look on the Nightline website to see if your university or college offers a night-time listening service. Nightline phone operators are all students too.

·        Switchboard. If you identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, you can call Switchboard on 0300 330 0630 (10am–10pm every day), email [email protected] or use their webchat service. Phone operators all identify as LGBT+.

·        C.A.L.L. If you live in Wales, you can call the Community Advice and Listening Line (C.A.L.L.) on 0800 132 737 (open 24/7) or you can text 'help' followed by a question to 81066.

·        Helplines Partnership. For more options, visit the Helplines Partnership website for a directory of UK helplines. Mind's Infoline can also help you find services that can support you. If you're outside the UK, the Befrienders Worldwide website has a tool to search by country for emotional support helplines around the world.

If you live in England, you can call a local NHS urgent mental health helpline for support during a mental health crisis. Anyone can call these helplines, at any time.

These helplines offer similar support to a crisis team. The NHS website has more information on urgent mental health helplines, including how to find your local helpline.

In Wales, you can contact NHS 111 and select option 2. This will put you through to an NHS helpline offering 24/7 urgent mental health support. Visit the NHS 111 Wales website to find out more about this service.

Listening line staff will let you talk through your feelings and experiences without judging you or telling you what to do. Many listening services let you talk for as long as you need.

This podcast was produced by Listening Shelf Audio https://listeningshelf.uk/

Sheryl Crow famously sang that. ‘A change would do you good’ – and there is an element of truth in that if a situation is not serving you BUT navigating change is not always easy. Whether it relates to our career, our home, our relationships and even death, change is something that is hard to welcome in and even harder to walk through.

Today the fabulous Sue MacFarlane joins us to talk about the many changes she has navigated in her life and the impacts they have had. Always relatable, Sue admits the false starts and mistakes as well as the wins and things that keep her cheerful.

Change can be a lonely experience and Sue firmly believes that having people in your life who know, understand, and support you is a vital ingredient to weathering change. Listen on for some anecdotes, advice, and experience from one of the most wondrous human beings ever to walk the path of change.

I’m so glad you are here – thank you for choosing to be with me today.

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram @codesignwithfliss.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61551862146977

This podcast was produced by Listening Shelf Audio https://listeningshelf.uk/

Food glorious food! And what a time to talk about Nutrition as we sit amidst Christmas and New Year – be assured that we are NOT here to put you on the naughty list! Treats are OK and good for the soul and as with most things in life balance is key. So, as we look to 2024 my excellent expert guest Sascha Landskron is here to gently ease us into the topic of nutrition and why it is vital not only for our physical health but also for our mental and emotional wellness.

Sascha has over 20 years’ experience as a Dietician and works from a whole-body perspective, meaning that the mind is not a separate entity to the body. The brain-gut axis is finally receiving the attention it deserves in the media and Sascha is the person you need to help you cut through all the confusion and support you in understanding the basics to get your health journey off to a great and sustainable start.

So ditch the tired old diet plans and listen to some cutting edge common sense advice. Empowering tips on small changes you can make today will yield big results. Enjoy!

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram @codesignwithfliss.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61551862146977

Links for Guest Sascha Landskron

Instagram:

Website: www.uninutrition.co.uk

This podcast was produced by Listening Shelf Audio https://listeningshelf.uk/

Abandonment. A messy subject that affects us all. Whether you have been or felt abandoned by grief, divorce, job loss, friendship loss, trauma – we all know abandonment.

My guest today is female Entrepreneur, Business Coach, and International Best Selling Author Kirsty Kayn. She was introduced to abandonment early in her life through the divorce of her parents and the sudden and tragic death of her Dad in a motorcycle accident when she was just 10.

Having gone through emotional hell she hit rock-bottom and then descended another level to find that it had a basement. Determined not to let her experiences of abandonment which went on to include the estrangement of her brother, the break down of her own marriage and being flung into solo parenting of her 2 young daughters, Kirsty set about doing the work to own her journey and begin the healing process.

She sheds light on the things that have helped her, and the great news is they are things that could help you to work with your abandonment and find the colour and joy in the world again.

I truly value your precious time here today.

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram @codesignwithfliss.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61551862146977

Links for Guest Kirsty Kayn:

Website: https://www.herhappylifeacademy.com/

Instagram: @kirstykayncoaching

This podcast was produced by Listening Shelf Audio https://listeningshelf.uk/

And breathe! Something we take for granted is our ability to breathe and yet what we don’t realise is that we are not harnessing it’s true potential! That’s exactly why I invited our gorgeous expert guest, Maya Scott-Mitchell, into the studio today. Maya has a wealth of experience and training in holistic health and specialises in Breathwork. She can personally attest to the life changing transformations you can expect if you just learn to connect with your breath and follow some simple yet massively impactful patterns.

As a source of true empowerment Maya will be leading us through a short breathwork exercise in the Podcast today so that you can start your own journey to better emotional, physical, and mental wellness right now! So, sit back and breathe in the soul nourishing information and breathe away your stresses and tension.

I truly value your precious time here today.

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram @codesignwithfliss.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61551862146977

Links for Guest Maya Scott-Mitchell

Instagram: @selenite.well-being

Email: [email protected]

This podcast was produced by Listening Shelf Audio https://listeningshelf.uk/

Grief is such a chasmic subject, affecting us all at some time in our lives. Today my guest Becki Farrell heroically allows us into her experience of the cataclysmic grief of newborn death. After a difficult pregnancy filled with health concerns, anxiety and ultimately a life-threatening situation, Becki had just 5 days with her first-born son.

4 years on she is training to be a Midwife, to utilise her lived experience to better support pregnant women and birthing people to navigate the journey to parenthood – whatever that looks like. She and her husband have been blessed with a second son who is now a healthy 3-year-old and fills their lives with sunshine energy.

Becki’s emotional journey has been profound and at times seemed impossible as she wrangled with grief, layered with feelings of guilt, despair and disconnection. Her courage, strength and powerful insights are second to none. She gives us hope that though we never move on we do keep moving along with grief as part of our authentic self.

I am honoured to be able to broach such a painful and difficult experience which affects many people and open it up in a sensitive and supportive way. Becki empowers us all to think about how we respond to others grief as well as taking ownership of our own.

I truly value your precious time here today.

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram @codesignwithfliss.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61551862146977

Links for Guest Becki Farrell:

Instagram: @midwife_farrell_in_progress/becki_farrell

This podcast was produced by Listening Shelf Audio https://listeningshelf.uk/