The Wednesday Audio

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This podcast and its affiliates do not endorse or condone the consumption of expired podcasts, especially and including potted meat. Any decision to consume expired podcasts is at the sole discretion and risk of the individual, and the podcast and its affiliates will not be held liable for any negative consequences resulting from the consumption of expired audio files.

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In a desperate attempt to revitalise The Wednesday Audio and to combat the dwindling downloads, I spent this week thinking of a new concept for the show.

I consulted my old friend Carlos to see what he said. He told me: Craig, all you need to do is make clippable content. Instead of making long form content, sack that off, and just make short form content. Your audience won’t notice the difference, and you can just string it together into a long episode.

So, my dear listener, I have made exactly this. Please tell me if this is a format you would like to see continue.

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I thought as a special treat for not listening to my podcast, I’d record you an episode of my podcast. It’s different from the normal ones in so much as I haven’t planned a second of it, but it sounds entirely the same as the other 91 episodes.

I hope you don’t enjoy it as much as I didn’t enjoy recording it.

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Are you feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of podcasts out there? Do you find yourself constantly falling down the rabbit hole of endless recommendations, leaving you with little time for anything else? If so, then our podcast is here to help.

Introducing "The Wednesday Audio," the podcast that attempts to stop you from listening to podcasts. In each episode, we make it our sole mission to make the experience of listening to podcasts so unpleasant, that you’ll never want to listen to another one again.

We'll explore how podcasts can be a major source of distraction, causing you to lose focus on more important tasks and projects. We'll also delve into how they can create an illusion of productivity, making you feel like you're learning or growing when you're really just consuming more content. And we'll discuss how they can even negatively impact your mental health, leading to feelings of anxiety or FOMO (fear of missing out).

But we won't just leave you hanging. Instead of listening to podcasts, we'll provide you with alternative ways to stay informed and entertained. From reading books to taking walks in nature, to eating potted meat on a canal boat in a sleepy english village, we'll help you discover new and exciting ways to fill your free time.

So if you're ready to break free from the podcasting cycle and start living a more fulfilling life, tune in to "The Wednesday Audio" today. We promise, you won't regret it. With our help, you'll learn to take control of your time and your mind, and live a more intentional and productive life. So what are you waiting for? Join us on this journey today.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this advertisement are those of the sponsor and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or its affiliates. The podcast is not responsible for any claims made in this advertisement. The product or service advertised is not endorsed or recommended by the podcast or its affiliates. Listeners are encouraged to do their own research and exercise their own judgement before purchasing or using any product or service.

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I asked Artificial Intellgience to write my intro, because I’m lazy and couldn’t be borthered. Just like that: I couldn’t even be bothered to spell botherhed correctly. I spelt it wrong twice, and I don’t even respect you enough to correct it.

Welcome to the Wednesday Audio, the podcast that brings you the latest news, insights, and laughs from Barnsley and beyond. In this week's episode, we'll be talking about everything from corned beef to listener missives, as well as diving deep into the mind of James Clear's lesser-known brother. Plus, stay tuned for our special segment, Donkey List, where we'll be discussing the top donkeys of all time. So grab your sandwich and tune in to the Wednesday Audio - we've got a lot to cover!

But before we dive into the meat of today's episode, let's take a moment to appreciate the culinary delight that is corned beef. Whether you love it or hate it, there's no denying that this salty, savory meat has a special place in our hearts (and stomachs). We'll be sharing some of our favorite corned beef recipes and discussing the history of this beloved dish.

And don't forget about our listener missives segment, where we read and respond to your messages and feedback. We love hearing from our listeners, so keep those messages coming!

But perhaps the most intriguing topic we'll be discussing today is James Clear's brother. Who is he? What does he do? And why does he enjoy playing bingo and smoking cigarettes? We'll be exploring the mind of this mysterious figure and sharing some insights from James Clear himself.

And of course, we couldn't forget about our Donkey Lists segment. From Shrek's iconic sidekick to the hardworking donkeys of the Grand Canyon, we'll be ranking the top donkeys of all time and discussing their unique contributions to pop culture and society.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy this week's episode of the Wednesday Audio - the podcast that's always a little bit unexpected.

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Remember that podcast that used to be released on a Wednesday, about Wednesdays, fighting for Wednesdays all around the globe? Well, it’s being released on a Wednesday again, to the loud rejoicing of at least tens of people.

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I mean…it’s multilayered, int it?

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Surreal humour (also called surreal comedy, absurdist humour, or absurdist comedy) is a form of humour predicated on deliberate violations of causal reasoning, thus producing events and behaviours that are obviously illogical. Portrayals of surreal humour tend to involve bizarre juxtapositions, incongruity, non-sequiturs, irrational or absurd situations, and expressions of nonsense.[1]

Surreal humour grew out of surrealism, a cultural movement developed in the 20th century by French and Belgian artists, who depicted unnerving and illogical scenes while developing techniques to allow the unconscious mind to express itself.[1] The movement itself was foreshadowed by English writers in the 19th century, most notably Lewis Carroll and Edward Lear. The humour in surreal comedy arises from a subversion of audience expectations, emphasizing the ridiculousness and unlikeliness of a situation, so that amusement is founded on an unpredictability that is separate from a logical analysis of the situation.

Surreal humour is concerned with building up expectations and then knocking them down; even seemingly masterful characters with the highest standards and expectations are subverted by the unexpected, which the scene emphasizes for the viewer's amusement. Either the "goofball" or "straight" character in the scene can react with dull surprise, disdain, boredom, or detached interest, thus heightening comic tension. Characters' intentions are set up in a series of scenes significantly different from what the audience might ordinarily encounter in daily life. The unique social situations, expressed thoughts, actions, and comic lines are used to spark laughter, emotion, or surprise as to how the events occurred or unfolded, in ways sometimes favorable to other unexpectedly introduced characters.[citation needed]

Surreal humour in theatre is usually about the insensitivity, paradox, absurdity, and cruelty of the modern world. Absurd and surrealist cinema often deals with elements of dark humour: disturbing or sinister subjects like death, disease, or warfare are treated with amusement and bitterness, creating the appearance of an intention to shock and offend.[2]

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Ode to Salad Cream by Trilety

He promised me lettuce crisp with crunch but gave me limp leaves instead. So I turned my tongue away from the steel reach of his fork only to be teased by the viscous glug of a squeeze of salad cream. Oh Salad Cream, how you drench the pink muscle of my mouth in savory fatness until I am - from knee to cheek - bedspread. Your egg yolk sunrise erupts in my mouth and the only sound in the kitchen is my ecstatic scream.

Oh Salad Cream, you are beyond the sauce and better than the dressing. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are unworthy or, worse, unknown, because my tongue and throat sing your praises with every slurp. Only the Brits could blend up an emulsified sun and stuff it deep into a million wanting bottles for all the world to coat their salads, sandwiches and fingers in. You are my lubricant for caressing. He lays me down on a bed of greens and watches as I gulp and swig you, Salad Cream, until I burst with a burp. My world exploded with your silky drip and all I wanted was a threesome with you, me and Aristotle.

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The regular Wednesday Audio will resume its regular programming from tomorrow, with an extra-special Thursday Audio episode.

I do not apologise for any inconvenience this may have caused.

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