The Whiparound

Greetings, Citizen, and welcome back…to another edition of WEIRD NEWS DOME! It’s a pretty wild one this week, and it’s honestly got more rear-end and doody material than we’ve seen since the “moose” story awhile back. Whew! Remember THAT one? Well, now we’ve got even bigger piles to handle! Let’s roll up our pant legs, swipe some menthol under our noses and wade on in, huh??

First up, in Shaun’s Cabinet of the Macabre, a gloomy mystery is unfolding in Botswana these days…hear the very latest and assist us in unraveling the strange story of mass elephant deaths and strange government actions taken in the wake of the bizarre event!

For something lighter, Phil’s got penguin poop-focused SCIENCE this week! Ever measured the speed and power of a cold-weather bird’s poop? Probably not, right? Well! You’re missing out! Or not! BUT…the good doctor is here to explain an upcoming study and just how on EARTH he managed to talk penguin farts and penguin feces on this show in THE SAME CALENDAR YEAR. WOW.

Plus! A NEW GAME awaits, and, well, Phil broke am unspoken rule to bring this one your way, so we hope it was worth it!

And can you believe that there’s STILL more? Yep: Three for the Road, the latest Covidiot of the Week, Trainwreck Headlines, and MORE are also in here. What a STEAL! 

Come and get it, ya’ll, it’s (weird) supper time on…the WHIPAROUND!

LINKS:

Our Webmistress’s Amazing Facebook Shop!

Botswana's government is stalling efforts to get to the bottom of 350 mysterious elephant deaths, conservationists say

Redskins expected to change name by September

Giant wave sweeps newlyweds into the ocean during photo shoot

Author of Book on Mushrooms Lets Mushrooms Eat His Book, Then Eats Mushrooms

Slave trader pub name to be changed

Raw milk can spread dangerous antibiotic-resistant genes, study finds

Coronavirus: 'Don't wear deodorant,' says Berlin's transport company 

Drunk man rescued from river twice as pubs reopen

Madagascar after claiming its COVID-Organics drink prevents and cures Coronavirus, forced to impose lockdown amid surge in Coronavirus cases in the country

Michael Jackson’s Daughter to Portray Jesus as a Lesbian Woman in New Film

Coronavirus patient suffers hours-long erection due to blood clots in his penis

Humans forced to hide from sex addicted monkeys who set up HQ in disused cinema

Brook Park Little Caesar’s workers fired after pepperoni swastika found on pizza: Overnight News Links

Canadian Tire in Lindsay temporarily closed after every item scanned comes up as “Mr Potato Head” - Kawartha 411

Philly Man and Brother Found Dead in Delaware's Murderkill River

TAGS: Whiparound, weird, news, macabre, science, history, games, trivia, headlines, elephants, Botswana, mystery, penguins, poop, power

**Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com & www.soundsnap.com**

***Special thanks to DanO for the awesome music. Check out the songs from the episode and LOTS more great stuff at http://www.danosongs.com**

            Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome…to FLUFFY WEEK on the Whiparound! It’s like the regular Whiparound but…y’know. Cuddlier! Friendlier! Still weird, still news, but THIS week it’d make for a nice travel pillow, too! It’s just so airy and nice and there’s totally a random gay porn joke in there, so YES! FLUFFY! To wit:

            In SCIENCE!, good ol’ Doctor Phil discusses a recent study connecting one’s proclivity to hug and otherwise physically express them thar affections to…one’s BLOOD! Specifically it’s about hereditary this versus learned that and…Phil makes it all make sense, AND he’s a hugger, so that guy would totally know!

            On the LESS-hug-friendly (but still FLUFFY!) Macabrenet this week, Shaun is thrilled to bring you word of the very latest innovation in haunted house trends: a Japanese company with a breakthrough in Big Dumb Thing era haunted “houses”! Listen in and maybe consider sending your favorite weird news podcast hosts some funds to head on over and check this thing out; we’re DYING to go on a horror-themed field trip, ya’ll!

            Somehow, with all that being said, there’s STILL more FLUFFY fun to be had: you’ve still got Three for the Road, a fresh Covidiot of the Week, Trainwreck Headlines, and MORE to look forward to! AND IT’S ALL AT LEAST A LITTLE FLUFFY!

            You’re welcome! Signed…the WHIPAROUND!

LINKS:

Our Webmistress’s Amazing Facebook Shop!

Japan awards first-ever ninja studies degree

S.A. police union president says cop calling handcuffed man the N-word is the same as saying 'goddamn'

Ontario's new math curriculum to introduce coding, personal finance starting in Grade 1

Are You a Hugger? It Might Be Hereditary

 Use of fax machines by Austin labs blamed for long wait times for coronavirus test results

Kent District Library: Don't microwave your books before returning them

Radio station asks if chess is racist because white always moves first

Lord of the Rings TV series issues New Zealand casting call for 'funky-looking' people

‘Excessive Masturbation’ is Chinese Army’s Latest Headache

Man smuggling cocaine in artificial penis caught at Brussels Airport

Coronavirus Pandemic Inspires Haunted House Drive-Through Experience

Man's bladder explodes after holding in pee for 18 hours after beer binge

Mysterious orange dust from Ohio pear trees identified as fungus

Pungent package prompting post office evacuation was stinky fruit

TAGS: Whiparound, weird, news, macabre, science, history, games, trivia, headlines, fluffy, hugs, affection, blood, horror, Halloween, japan, drive-in, American Gladiators

**Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com & www.soundsnap.com**

***Special thanks to DanO for the awesome music. Check out the songs from the episode and LOTS more great stuff at http://www.danosongs.com**

Oh, hi! Didn’t see you there, as I like even the most rudimentary nervous system or even more than two dimensions with which to receive data or any stimuli whatsoever. But hey, thanks for visiting ol’ Uncle Show Notes! Wanna see somethin’ cool?? Check THIS out!

THIS WEEK, on the HARDEST-workin’ weird news podcast of all time in any direction known to humankind (probably)…

We’ve got Shaun’s Cabinet of the Macabre, with a hearty bowl of bizarre and largely botched seppuku: this thing’s been curing since 1970, so it’s weird, it’s ripe, and it’s ready to go! Follow us to Japan and explore the worst way to lose a quick ten pounds!

And! SCIENCE! Woo! Yet again, Phil presents for our head-scratching, eye-rolling, Darwin-Award-winning pleasure, a brand sighing new COVIDIOT of the week! Let’s see…could a defiant faith-healer type defeat the Big Dumb Thing via ignorance and kisses? FIND OUT INSIDE, and keep it moving, for just ahead is a very serious story about bubbles!

Yep. Bubbles. Scientific. Bubbles. Anyway!

A SURPLUS of Trainwreck Headlines roared across the good doctor’s desk this week, and so we have the spot-the-fake game up top like usual BUT ALSO, Shaun faces a whole new batch of them for this week’s NEW GAME!

Can you believe we’re STILL not done at that point? That’s right: Three for the Road is still to come, so let’s get this party rolling!

Go ahead, punk. Make. My. WHIPAROUND!

LINKS:

Our Webmistress’s Amazing Facebook Shop!

https://www.facebook.com/MagiciansAsst/

You Can Now Visit Exploding Whale Memorial Park In Florence, Ore.

India: Drunk monkey to spend life behind bars

L.A. schools police will return grenade launchers but keep rifles, armored vehicle

Kosher lube puts oral sex on the menu for Orthodox Jews

A woman performed a spiritual ritual on a dead possum in the road, demanding it 'repent,' Waukesha police say

A Mexican 'Lucha Libre' Wrestler Is Sewing Masks To Fight Coronavirus

Man sues woman after she kissed him, claiming she gave him herpes

Soap bubbles succeed in fruit tree pollination

‘Black magic’ guy kisses hands of devotees to ‘cure’ COVID-19, dies of the disease

Welcome to 'Exploding Whale Memorial Park' on the Oregon coast!

Firm defends algorithm that 'spots women's orgasms'

Atlanta megachurch pastor faces criticism for suggesting 'white blessing' replace term 'white privilege'

Austria: man fined for farting 'with full intent' at police

New Ford Bronco will debut on July 9. Yes, O.J. Simpson's birthday

Poland accidentally invaded the Czech Republic last month

TAGS: Whiparound, weird, news, macabre, science, history, games, trivia, headlines, seppuku, Japan, coup, bubbles, bees, plants, Earth

**Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com & www.soundsnap.com**

***Special thanks to DanO for the awesome music. Check out the songs from the episode and LOTS more great stuff at http://www.danosongs.com**

Amidst the chaos engulfing the world today, your favorite weird news podcast rises again to help ease your stress, for however short a time that we might. We’re in this together. You and us. And we love you. So let’s have a quick bit of fun, shall we? Before we press on with the fight for justice, equality, and much-needed reform. This episode was recorded LAST week, but out of respect for the events unfolding in the streets of the US, we opted to hold onto it, to go silent for just one week. We’ve all needed time to process and to gear up for the long road ahead.

Onward!

Jill joins us this week, and she has TWO big contributions! First, Jill has a new edition of her regular segment, the Mixed Medicine Bag, and this time around we’re checking out just what’s in medicine cabinets…IN SPACE! Oooooh, space drugs, amirite??

PLUS! Jill has a fantastic video on youtube wherein she unboxes a joyous collectible chock full of Ghostbusters merch for the hardcore collector! Stick around till the end to hear all about it!

And in keeping with our jaunt into the medicated void, we keep that particular ball rolling with a healthy dose of SCIENCE!, in which the good doctor reveals the results of a fascinating study into the healing properties…of foul language! AND we’ve got some new, uh, “curse” words brought to us courtesy of the nerdiest nerds ever to nerd it up.

All of that is crammed into the hour-ish fun, PLUS a new game just COVERED in grave dust, a new COVIDIOT of the week, and a thrilling, tumbling, wild Three for the Road!!

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to…THE WHIPAROUND!

LINKS:

Jill’s New Video Dr. Collector Review!

Our Webmistress’s Amazing FB Page: The Magician’s Assistant!

Florida Police Use Krispy Kreme To Lure Black Bear Off City Streets

In Japan, craft beer gets turned into gin!

Sex With Flip Flops! Thai Foot Fetishist Steals and Has Sex With About 100 Pairs of Flip Flops Gets Arrested After He Admits to the Pilferage and Making Love to Footwear |  LatestLY

Swearing as a Response to Pain: Assessing Hypoalgesic Effects of Novel “Swear” Words

Trading Standards squad targets anti-5G USB stick

Indian officials claim capture of another 'spy pigeon from Pakistan' in IoK

Man says he broke into San Diego Wells Fargo bank to heat up his Hot Pockets

Sex position that will ‘prevent virus’

Neighbor upset by noise during drive-thru graduation places sign in yard: ‘Shut the “F” up’

North Korean regime finally admits Kim Jong-un cannot magically bend time and space

Man drinks liter of lemon juice in under 17 seconds for world record

Monkeys Steal Coronavirus Patient Blood Samples From Lab Tech In India

How G-forces affect the human body

Psychological effects of G-forces

Why the human body can't withstand g-forces

What drugs are our astronauts on?  

TAGS: Whiparound, weird, news, macabre, science, history, games, trivia, headlines, space, medicine, g-force, idiots, curses, swearing, pain, Ghostbusters, collectibles

**Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com & www.soundsnap.com**

***Special thanks to DanO for the awesome music. Check out the songs from the episode and LOTS more great stuff at http://www.danosongs.com**

 Episode 130: Of Feathers and Fursonas

Oh my, oh my, oh MY, are things odd this week! Out of the gate, the Trainwreck Headlines are truly a tough bunch this week, so spotting the fake might take a bit of luck UNLESS you know Phil’s little tell. Are YOU in the COOL Club or are you down with Shaun and his fellow dummies? Either way, try to spot the fake a win the day!

Next, in Shaun’s Cabinet of the Macabre, the blood-soaked, feather-coated conclusion to last week’s horrorshow that was: the Massacre of Toxcatl. The Aztecs have been hurt by Conquistador cruelty, and this time…this time, es personal! Hear just WHY the Spanish evac from Tenochtitlan ended up with the rather telling nickname…EL NOCHE TRISTE!

Oh, and uh…SCIENCE! Yeah. Science. Science, science, science. Well. Um. That is. Ok, so Phil does a whole thing about Furries and Shaun reacts quite strongly. Then there’s a game. About Furries. It’s a lot of Furry stuff in there, so. You’ve been warned. AND YEP. IT’S WEIRD.

Plus, we’ve got another stunning display of a vacuous and vapid virus behavior with our COVIDIOT of the week, and a right whiz-banger of a Three for the Road! YEE to the HAW!

Row, row, row your boat gently…TO THE WHIPAROUND!

LINKS:

Our Fabulous Webmistress' Facebook Page!

Officials: Loon killed bald eagle by stabbing its heart

Find lockdown ‘sex buddy’, Dutch singles advised

A pizzeria owner made money buying his own $24 pizzas from DoorDash for $16

The Internet Furry Drama Raising Big Questions About Artificial Intelligence

Mayor plays dead to avoid arrest

Cameroonian Pastor who claimed he could heal Coronavirus dies less than a week after contracting the disease | KikioTolu News

Woman in China sends 1,000 kg onions to ex-boyfriend to make him cry

Restaurant to seat mannequins at empty tables to make social distancing less awkward

Bologna smugglers caught at border

Adult Film Star Ron Jeremy Fighting to Save Tree Outside His Childhood Home in Queens

Watch: Police looking for this Manitoba man who beat up a gas pump

When the Spanish Conquistadors Massacred Unarmed Aztec Leaders

Cows are launched into a liquor store from an overturned semi, video shows

‘Melon-Head’ Shoplifters Arrested in Virginia

Hong Kong Shop Offers ‘Tear Gas’ Flavor Ice Cream

TAGS: Whiparound, weird, news, macabre, science, history, games, trivia, headlines, Aztecs, Mexico, furries, AI, sadness

**Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com & www.soundsnap.com**

***Special thanks to DanO for the awesome music. Check out the songs from the episode and LOTS more great stuff at http://www.danosongs.com***

Episode 129: “I’m Cuckoo for Penguin Sh!t”

Oh, it’s a wild one this week, Citizens! I mean, OUT OF THE GATE, we’ve got a heaping handful of Citizen Shoutouts, a head-scratching blast of Trainwreck Headlines (Shaun still doesn’t know what Phil’s little “secret” is with all his fake stories, do YOU?), and some Jersey trash-talk by North Jersey’s own Dr. Phil LaPorta!

If you make it past that, you’ll find yourself in Shaun’s Cabinet of the Macabre, in which our Reaper of All Things Wretched takes us back to 16th Century Mexico for the FIRST of TWO parts all about a horrifying massacre pitting Conquistadors against Aztecs! We’ve got rivers of blood and more fancy feathers than Phil can possibly handle. Or be remotely comfortable with.

Then, it’s off the frigid wastes of the South Pole with SCIENCE! Phil knows something…something AWFUL and oddly WONDERFUL about penguins, see. Specifically, about penguin GUANO, and, well…the episode’s title is about as clear a clue as you’re going to want. Suffice it to say, penguins are killing the planet. Kinda. Sorta. With poop. Ahem! Moving on!

We’ve also got a brand new imbecilic COVIDIOT of the week, and a breathless blast of oddball headlines in everyone’s favorite rush-job, Three for the Road!

With all that content, it’s no wonder that choosy moms choose…THE WHIPAROUND!

LINKS:

Our Webmistress’s Amazing Etsy Shop: The Magician’s Assistant!

https://www.etsy.com/shop/magiciansassistant/

https://twitter.com/WFLA/status/1259867354206535681

Dungeons & Dragons Gets a My Little Pony Crossover

Mystery as 60 peculiar cubes with inscriptions pulled from Cov river

Antarctic Penguins Poop Out So Much Laughing Gas, It Has a Funny Effect on Researchers

Chennai-Based Ayurvedic Pharmacist Dies After Drinking Formula He Prepared to ‘Cure’ Coronavirus

Mother sends son to buy groceries, he returns with wife

Unexpected twist after ‘dead body’ on highway sparks police investigation

Saber-toothed anchovies roamed the oceans 45 million years ago

This non-binary dominatrix is virtually humiliating clients on Animal Crossing and accepting bells as payment

Overloaded Ventilator Bursts Into Flames and Kills Five Coronavirus Patients: Russian Media

Five-year-old stopped on U.S. highway wanted to buy Lamborghini, police say

Peacock problems: Brandon neighborhood overrun with loud, messy flock of birds

French serial-killer 'expert' admits he made up his experience — even the murder of his nonexistent wife

When the Spanish Conquistadors Massacred Unarmed Aztec Leaders

TAGS: Whiparound, weird, news, macabre, science, history, games, trivia, headlines, Aztecs, Montezuma, massacre, penguins, climate, guano

**Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com & www.soundsnap.com**

***Special thanks to DanO for the awesome music. Check out the songs from the episode and LOTS more great stuff at http://www.danosongs.com**

Episode 128: Things to Do in Jersey When You’re a Llama

           WE’VE GOT A GAME ABOUT INSURANCE THIS WEEK!

            Ok. Now that the most exciting piece of our show is out there, here are some lesser highlights from this week in weird em-effin news!

            In Shaun’s Cabinet of the Macabre, hear tell of a New Jersey man who skipped a step at work and ended up stranded…IN A GRAVE!

            Over in SCIENCE!, ol’ Doc Phil explains how llamas and camels are helping to cure some of humanity’s most dreaded viruses. Yep, those sometimes-charming, always-rank animal cousins are out there on the forefront of science, stinking, chewing, and spitting their way into the future!

            PLUS, we’ve got a furious locomotive of strange headlines hiding a single fake headline up top, a brand new COVIDIOT of the week, and everyone’s favorite blizzard of the bizarre, our sextet of thirty-second strangeness, Three for the Road!

            CAN YOU DIG IT!? Of course you can, it’s…THE WHIPAROUND!

 LINKS:

Our Webmistress’s Amazing Etsy Shop: The Magician’s Assistant!

 Weird insurance: Odd items you can insure, from a penis to UFO abduction

10 Weird Types of Insurance You Didn't Even Know About

Hole in one insurance

Paper on Camilidae Antibody Development

A llama named Winter could be the key to fighting the coronavirus

Queen’s Brian May Hospitalized After Ripping Glutes ‘to Shreds’ While Gardening

St. Louis Grocery Store Transforms Salad Bar into Mini Booze Bottle Buffet

Wild video shows monkey on scooter trying to kidnap toddler

Toilet frog invasion leaves Derbyshire townsfolk scared and baffled

Man wears KKK hood while grocery shopping in California

Man Arrested 3 Times In 1 Day Under California's Coronavirus-Based Zero-Bail Policy - Breaking911

Woman charged after calling 911 to have fire put out in crotch

Nearly Half of Men Say They Do Most of the Home Schooling. 3 Percent of Women Agree.

Alabama police search for ‘aggressive chicken’ attacking people at ATMs

Cemetery worker trapped when grave collapses in Lyndhurst

Woman killed by alligator in SC was doing homeowner's nails

TAGS: Whiparound, weird, news, macabre, science, history, games, trivia, headlines, graveyards, burial, accident, camels, llamas, medicine, covid, games, insurance

**Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com & www.soundsnap.com**

***Special thanks to DanO for the awesome music. Check out the songs from the episode and LOTS more great stuff at http://www.danosongs.com**

Episode 127: Stick a Lime in It; It’s FINE!

THIS WEEK, on the latest and…well, it ranks up there as one of the GROSSEST (wait for Act 3…OOF!) episodes of your favorite weird news podcast…

Shaun’s got a GLOOMY catch of the day in a current-events-based Cabinet of the Macabre! Think you’ll do some celebrating when all this Big Dumb Thing lockdown business is over? If ya do, maybe consider staying clear of cliffs if you’re the daredevil photography type. Find out just how far SOMEONE went to get a lasting shot when their quarantine was over! (Hint: the direction they went in was DOWN!)

Phil’s got three winners with some fantastic Trainwreck Headlines, a Covidiot of the Week sure to boil your blood, and some SCIENCE! featuring strange findings by a group of researchers examining the spread of false news stories. Hmmm…but people are normally reasonable, so what could go wrong with making sure people know what’s trustworthy online??  

And of COURSE we’ve got a lightning-fast round of real-world headline oddities in a WHOPPER of a Three for the Road! For real. Don’t…don’t eat or drink during Act 3. Just. Saying.

TL/DR: THE WHIPAROUND RULEZ!

LINKS:

Our Webmistress’s Amazing Etsy Shop: The Magician’s Assistant!

https://www.etsy.com/shop/magiciansassistant/

Coronavirus deaths greater where Fox News viewers watched ‘Hannity’ more than Tucker Carlson, says U. of C. study

False belief poison cures virus kills over 700 in Iran

Due To Lockdown, Christians Are Developing Huge Porn Addiction, Evangelist Warns

In possible medical first, breast implants deflect bullet, save Toronto woman's life, doctors say

Man busted for taking his fish on a walk during pandemic

Swedish city to use chicken manure to deter crowds

Clean toilet paper makes deputies flush with leads?

Kentucky governor ends beef with Tupac Shakur over unemployment check | Kentucky | The Guardian

$500K bet on rock paper scissors ruled invalid by Quebec court | CBC News

Here’s How 30 People React To A Sign On The Sidewalk Telling Them To ‘Commence Silly Walking’

Mum drinks sperm smoothies to fight off coronavirus

More people die taking selfies than by shark attacks

CONTACT US:

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Talk to Your Hosts!

Shaun Hayes:

Twitter: @theshaunhayes1

Instagram: @shaunathos_b_hayes

Phil La Porta:

Twitter: @PRL_Alchemist

TAGS: Whiparound, weird, news, macabre, science, history, games, trivia, headlines, selfies, accidents, death, AI, social media, fake news, Covid, idiots

**Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com & www.soundsnap.com**

***Special thanks to DanO for the awesome music. Check out the songs from the episode and LOTS more great stuff at http://www.danosongs.com**

Episode 126: Flight of the Meth-Gators!

     Oh boy, more weird news, served up by a couple of certifiably odd audio pals of yours: it’s a new Whiparound! Let’s see what’s on tap this time…

     How about some SCIENCE!? Phil brings a pair (kinda) of Covidiots of the Week before launching into some of the hippest, coolest, DARKEST social media ever unleashed upon the world by…a British museum?

     We’ve ALSO got Shaun’s Cabinet of the Macabre! This time, head back with the boys to the late nineteenth century, to hear tell of the deadliest maritime disaster in US history. Where’s DiCaprio when you need him, huh? Stop with the bear-maulings and make with the watery grave, Leo!

      And, as always, play along with Trainwreck Headlines, and try to keep up with our lightning-fast blast of bizarre, real-world news stories, Three for the Road!

      What a lovely day! What a lovely, LOVELY day…for THE WHIPAROUND!

LINKS:

Our Webmistress’s Amazing Facebook Page: The Magician’s Assistant!

Hubble telescope delivers stunning 30th birthday picture

Unions denounce Las Vegas mayor's call to re-open casinos

It's Not Fake News: Trump Did Actually Suggest That Injecting Bleach Could Be a Cure for COVID-19

Most Floridians don't want state to reopen yet, despite push from governor: poll

Baby alligator found with drugs, guns in Florida arrest

Woman's attraction to chandeliers not a sexual orientation, ruling says

Police department reminds residents to wear pants while checking mailbox

Bodybuilder Postpones Wedding to Love Doll Amid COVID-19 Outbreak | Future of Sex

Stephen King Is Sorry You Feel Like You're Stuck In A Stephen King Novel

Study finds raw-type dog foods as a major source of multidrug-resistant bacteria that could potentially colonize humans

Museums hold Twitter showdown to find world's creepiest exhibit

Las Vegas Mayor, Citing Polio, Wants to Open Casinos as a "Test Case"

American Girl astronaut doll draws lawsuit from astronomer claiming likeness was stolen

Londoner clapping for 24 hours non-stop to raise thousands for the NHS

ASMR YouTuber Sparks Outrage with Videos of Herself Eating Live Seafood

TAGS: Whiparound, weird, news, macabre, science, history, games, trivia, headlines, war, drowning, Sultana, Covid, museums, hashtags, artifacts

**Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com & www.soundsnap.com**

***Special thanks to DanO for the awesome music. Check out the songs from the episode and LOTS more great stuff at http://www.danosongs.com**