The Widowed Parent Podcast

I had such a great discussion with Michele Neff Hernandez for this episode. Michele is the founder and executive director of Soaring Spirits International, which runs Camp Widow in multiple locations each year, as well as many other programs for widowed people.

Soaring Spirits uses the broadest possible definition of "widowed" to include anyone who has lost their life partner. They have a very active blog, a widowed pen pal program, and the terrific new Soaring Spirits Resilience Center that is doing really exciting research.

Some topics Michele and I discuss include:

• Her own journey to becoming widowed when her kids were young;
• Not knowing any other young widowed people until someone finally connected her with another widow who would become a lifelong friend;
• How Camp Widow came about on the back of a napkin on a long drive;
• What to expect if you attend Camp Widow;
• The opportunity to access Camp Widow Virtual workshops until April 30, 2020;
• The Resilience Scale available free on the Soaring Spirits Resilience Center web site;
• What they've learned from studying resilience in widowed people;
• Their widowed pen pal program and the Widow's Voice blog;
• Their free packets for newly widowed people; and
• What Michele's analogy about earthquakes says about how losing a spouse differs from losing a parent.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Michele Neff Hernandez.

I had such a great discussion with Lane Hendricks for this episode. It was great to have her back on the show, after our initial discussion way back in episode 11. Today's topic is based on questions I've gotten from listeners who are widowed parents of infants and very young children. I knew Lane would be just the right person to talk with about this topic, based on both her professional experience and her own experience losing her husband when one of her daughters was 3 and the other was an infant.

I should say that we did have some issues with sound quality, because we recorded just last week, during this global pandemic, when so many people are working and doing school from home and the internet seems to be overloaded. In fact, at one point we lost the call all together, but fortunately I was able to get Lane back on the line. We could have probably continued talking much longer, but it was getting difficult to hear everything Lane was sharing with us.

Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Some of the main issues or challenges that can come up when people find themselves the widowed solo parent of an infant;
• The fact that an infant needs someone to consistently meet their needs in order to develop a secure attachment;
• Challenges that might unfold over time, and how this differs from kids who lose a parent later in childhood;
• Getting support for kids throughout the years; and
• Lane's basketball analogy about the resiliency of kids.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Lane Hendricks.

Many thanks to social workers Arlen Gaines & Meredith Polsky for coming back on the show to discuss their new book for kids, "I Have a Question About Coronavirus." This book is available as a free download from their website, ihaveaquestion.com.

This discussion was recorded on March 27, 2020.

Thank you for joining me today for another pandemic special episode. I'm doing a series of shorter episodes on parenting and grief and related topics during this time of global pandemic. Big thanks to Julie Lythcott-Haims for hopping on a call with me yesterday to record this discussion about some of the issues that are coming up right now when parenting older teens and young adults. Julie is the New York Times bestselling author of How to Raise an Adult, and she has an 18-year-old and a 20-year-old herself, so I knew she'd be just the right person to talk with on this topic.

This discussion was recorded on March 24, 2020.

I had such a great discussion with Lindsay Joy Taylor for this episode. Lindsay Joy lost her mom when she was just a baby. This was recorded prior to the global pandemic that we're currently in, and I'm going to share it with you today because grief still goes on, and widowed parenting still has to happen, even in the midst of this crisis. I will continue to share 'regular' episodes each Wednesday, and in between I'll share special, shorter episodes specific to parenting and grief in during the time of this coronavirus. Please be on the lookout for both.

Some topics Lindsay Joy and I discuss include:

• Losing her mother, her primary attachment figure, when she was just 13 months old;
• Having multiple caregivers in her young life after that point;
• Becoming an 'easy baby' and 'easy kid,' and people not realizing how much she was struggling;
• Being diagnosed with Complex PTSD 30 years later;
• Beginning to struggle and developing a 'fight or flight' response in her college years;
• Coming to realize that therapy was essential, even after an initial bad experience with it;
• Switching to a trauma-informed therapist;
• Doing body-based work in addition to talk therapy; and
• How memories of playing in her mom's jewelery box as a child contributed to her business creating remembrance and memorial jewelery.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Lindsay Joy Taylor.

Thank you Jana DeCristofaro of The Dougy Center in Portland, Oregon, for joining me for this special episode. We discuss creative ways to support each other during this time of 'social distancing.'

Here is the question I teed up for Jana:

If we have grieving teens in our families, some of us may be thinking about this: do we set up some kind of limits that keep them from their friends that might ordinarily provide support? Or do we make exceptions that might put them and others at risk? Or ... are there some other options?

This discussion was recorded on March 21, 2020.

Many thanks to Marny Williams-Balodis, co-founder and executive director of Hummingbird Centre for Hope, for quickly jumping on a call with me to talk about tips for widowed parenting in this time of global pandemic. Check out Hummingbird's virtual support groups for widowed parents, too, for some much needed connection with other widowed people.

This discussion was recorded on March 20, 2020.

I had such a great discussion with Leslie Gray Streeter for this episode. First of all, big congratulations to Leslie on the launch this week of her new memoir, Black Widow: A Sad-Funny Journey Through Grief for People Who Normally Avoid Books with Words Like "Journey" in the Title.

Leslie became a widowed parent after the sudden death of her husband, Scott, in 2015. At the time they were in the process of adopting their two-year-old son. As it says on the back of her book, "With her signature warmth, hilarity, and tendency to overshare, Leslie Gray Streeter gives us real talk about love, loss, grief, and healing in your own way." Her book is both funny and touching; if you're a widowed parent, I know you'll recognize much in her story, even if your situation is different.

Some topics Leslie and I cover include:

• Continually having to answer the question "where's daddy?" from her young son;
• The pressure of making decisions as the only parent;
• Wanting to write the book in order to start a conversation about grief; and
• Her mom moving in with her to help co-parent her toddler.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Leslie Gray Streeter.

ENCORE EPISODE - Originally published December 19, 2018.

"You have all the tools inside you to do it. You're the perfectly imperfect parent to do this with your kiddo. Just talk about it. Just say something. Just open the door. That's all you have to do. Just start. Start anywhere, and start awkwardly, and don't feel like you have to have it perfect, because none of us do." --Therapist & parenting coach Tracey Biebel

I'm very excited today to bring you our first show where we tackle your questions. Some fantastic questions have come in from listeners about moms raising boys after dad has died, or similarly dads raising girls after mom has died. This includes great questions around puberty, including talking with kids about bodies & relationships, and about finding male mentors for boys after dad has died, or vice-versa for girls.

My guest, Tracey Biebel, is a clinical social worker, who is a therapist and family coach, and who deals extensively with these topics in her practice. We covered all sorts of ground, including Tracey's tips on dating as a single parent, taking your kids to puberty classes, connecting with them as they grow and change, and also book recommendations on these topics for all ages.

A quick note, if you have young children around as you're listening, you may wish to consider whether you want them to overhear our open and matter-of-fact discussion of these topics.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Tracey Biebel.

Hey everyone, it's Jenny Lisk and this is episode 56 of The Widowed Parent Podcast.

It was such a pleasure to talk with Sarah Illiatovitch-Goldman, director of the Hearts to Art summer camp program at the Auditorium Theatre in Chicago. I always love being able to spotlight programs and resources for families in various locations. Hearts to Art runs a performing arts camp for kids ages 7-14 who have lost a parent or primary caregiver.

Some topics Sarah and I discuss include:

• How and why the camp was started 16 years ago;
• The idea that you don't need to love the arts to get something from participating;
• The kinds of performing arts activities kids can expect at camp;
• The grief work woven throughout the camp sessions;
• Their junior counselor program for teens; and
• Where to find resources if you're outside the Chicago area.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Sarah Illiatovitch-Goldman.