Bridge-decorating train-dodger Geoffrey paints his little cotton socks off for Mr Musselwhite; dastardly Scot Lord Calico asks Mr Quivers to investigate the exodus of Fifers; and Miriam’s personification of fruit and use of hallucinatory surfactant raises questions as to whether she’s a suitable guardian for her son Tommy.

Title: The Mystery of the Forth Elephant

Main Character: Geoffrey

Strange Secret: He loves rabbits

Climactic Final Location: Edinburgh Zoo

Sponsored by: German Children

Fearless explorer Dr Gringshopp and curious companion Lee Gormenghast journey along the Amazon; gentleman adventurers Snatchladle and Childe concoct the most abominable quest of all; and we walk the perilous tightrope of ex State Governorial lawsuits in our globetrotting fourth episode!

Title: Cooking Bananas in a Canoe

Main Character: Lee

Strange Secret: He does not exist

Climactic Final Location: A hut in Alaska

Sponsored by: Hair

Godfrey-spurning Scot Ethel finds herself jobless in London; the sinister Russian ‘Master’ and child-henchman Gribble cook up a meteorological plot to steal the crown jewels, and Daniel’s microphone occasionally cuts out in our thrilling third episode!

Title: The Rolling Thunder

Main Character: Ethel

Strange Secret: She is allergic to chocolate

Climactic Final Location: The bathroom at Buckingham Palace

Sponsored by: Lollipops

Mummy’s boy Oglethorpe turns amateur sleuth; Colin Montgomerie trawls the golf courses of Scotland in search of treasure, and a man’s unfeasibly long legs meet a prolonged, sticky end in our second rip-roaring adventure!

Title: Montgomerie’s Quest

Main Character: Oglethorpe

Strange Secret: He has an S and M Treehouse

Climactic Final Location: The Pound Shop in Govan, Glasgow

Sponsored by: Lollipops

Bank-founding billionaire Philip Bank encounters a travelling circus; lonely yet beautiful spinster Ms. Velvet looks for love, while 60s rock legends Cream turn to a life of crime in this, our inaugural podcast.

Title: Cash Rules Everything Around Me, Cream get the Money

Main Character: Philip

Strange Secret: He cannot open umbrellas

Climactic Final Location: The tunnels under Liverpool

Sponsored by: Rubber gloves