The Wireless Podcast

Whisky-distiller Franca can't choose between the two men in her life, but an unlikely trip to Mars might just make her (omnipresent?) mind up. Oh, and there's also an EXTREMELY annoying character called Mitchum.

Title: What Goes On When The Lights Come Back On

Main Character: Franca

Strange Secret: She's not a human

Featured Location: A crater on Mars

Sponsored by: The shameless plugging of sausages

Can pious Montgomery save gap year slackers from a fridge-dwelling mouldy monster? Exorcisms, church fairs and questionable breakfast choices abound in this spine-tingling chiller!

Title: The Horror of the Refrigerator

Main Character: Montgomery

Strange Secret: He's a horse

Featured Location: An elephant training camp in Thailand

Sponsored by: Hair Removal Cream

London's burning and only slippery pyrophobe Ernest can save the day. Sexy calendars, Samuel Pepys and handcuffs all feature in this smoke-choked thriller.

Title: The Bearded Man Inside the Cabin

Main Character: Ernest

Strange Secret: He is a time-travelling magician

Featured Location: Tower Bridge, London

Sponsored by: Whisky

The BBC kindly (and unwisely) let us have a bash at the airwaves, unleashing our improvised mayhem on a live audience at the Edinburgh Festival. 'Britain Tonight' was the result. Enjoy.

An Antipodean plot fosters Welsh discomfort. Train-driver (and de facto president) Jacob is the only one who can save the day, and the woman he (and his boss) loves. To top it all off, it's his birthday, and EVERYBODY'S drunk.

Title: Be Mine (Beer)

Main Character: Jacob

Strange Secret: He has three legs

Featured Location: A mine in South Wales

Sponsored by: Soap

Flatulent flame-belcher Joseph attracts the crowds to his animal-unfriendly touring circus, but not all the audience have his (or West Africa's) best interests in mind. Jellyfish pools! Melting Jethro Tull records! Men without beards! It's an African adventure like no other!

Title: Farting Fire!

Main Character: Joseph

Strange Secret: He can't swim

Featured Location: A scuba diving shop in Niger

Sponsored by: Shaving foam

Subterranean guide Jacob has the homesick blues, but a trail of grape-based destruction across the Outback could lead him to answers about his mother's demise, and perhaps the devil himself. Plus everyone in Australia is part horse. Did we mention that?

Title: This Time The Red Wine Is No Excuse

Main Character: Jacob

Strange Secret: He has lost his skis

Featured Location: A pig-farm in Tasmania

Sponsored by: Cat food

Abraham is a Potter with artistic pretensions, but a pretentious (former) artist is striving to make it all go to pot. It's the fairytale of the frog prince as you've never heard it before - with Hackneyed puns galore!

Title: The Mystical Frog that Fell Down a Well

Main Character: Abraham Potter

Strange Secret: He has an echo

Featured Location: Hospital in Hackney

Sponsored by: Chocolate

Corpulent gender-secretive state-hopper Francis (or is it Frances?) is caught up in a devilish plot cooked-up by a certain decadent celluloid pair. Will Vegas be reduced to a graveyard thanks to a killer new show, or can our plucky hero(ine?) avoid being guilty of journalistic accessory to murder? Cretans in hotels, phone-box roulette and hacks in a pen - it's an audio experience to die for in this third episode of series two of The Wireless Podcast!

Title: An Evening With Taylors

Main Character: Francis/Frances

Strange Secret: He/She is an Amnesiac

Featured Location: A Casino in Las Vegas

Sponsored by: Teapots

Can ambassadorial assistant Jemima restore the English tongue to its proper form before all hell (and her drunken charge's trousers) breaks loose in Uganda? Big game hunting, Welsh children abroad, saucy carpets, and British pride put to the test - it's all here as lagnauge gtes dsirputed in the dazzling second episode of the second series of The Wireless Podcast!

Title: The Fact Dictionary

Main Character: Jemima

Strange Secret: Cannot Turn Left

Featured Location: Brewery Cellar in Uganda

Sponsored By: Laxatives