This week, we talk about The Dark Backward... a movie involving casual necrophilia, Bill Paxton playing an accordion, and standup comedy apparently. You're going to want to listen to this episode because as much as we hated this movie, it's hard not to laugh at the clips we conjured up.

Extra extremities exciting an extroverted eccentric! Filth and moisture! Accordion playing opportunists! Licking dead dumpster ladies! Buffoonery based on big boned beauties batting Bill's bits and bobs! Boning your best friend’s broad! Leaving your lover when lumps turn to ligaments! Dom Deluise wheeze laughs! Doubling down on the third dick! Beef chiefs, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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Hello!

Our fearless leader, Chris, wasn't able to make it to the show tonight. Apparently he had better things to do like catalog his stamp collection, play with LEGOs, purify himself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka, attend an super exclusive ass party (his words, not ours), have a cake, kick off his DJ career, have an important foot bath, get a new pair of glasses, watch Donnie Darko, repair his extensive collection of dream catchers, smell his neighbor's various lizards, and grab some milk from the store.

Bob and Rob took this opportunity to talk about what they've been watching outside of the podcast.

Here's what we talked about: The Lost Weekend, Vampire's Kiss, Godzilla Minus One, The Taking of Deborah Logan, and Come to Daddy, and some other stuff.

We'll resume with our regular show next week, when we review the strangest Bill Paxton movie we've ever seen, The Dark Backward.

Thanks for listening!

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Time to talk about Time Cop. Do we follow Back to the Future Rules? Or do we follow Terminator rules? The answer is neither. We follow Jean-Claude rules, Van Dammit!

Time traveling trooper tracks trouble makers! Not necessary nut shots! Blown out ball matter! Tell me he’s going to kill your family! Fucking with Fielding’s feelings! Total recall wife face angle comparisons! Suicide centric comedy beats! Jerk off time ripples! Sax penetration sequences! Zero hour explosion tropes! Misappropriated beaver dubs, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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Ray Milland rears his ugly head once again as we attempt to dissect 1972’s Frogs, a movie that's almost exclusively about alligators and snakes apparently.

Reptiles reap revenge on rich relatives! Fuck this frog in particular fling at the festivities! Play playing cards correctly, collect piece of Poppy’s pie! Grumpy Gramps gonna get group got! Director decides that doggy dies! Proud Elliot’s jean jumpsuit penis-pants! It’s practically picnic! Snake wiener sleeves! Man spraying! Amphibious antagonists? Toupee tomfoolery! Butterfly brutality! Sam Elliot’s moose knuckle! Lack of corpse urgency! Lady Crockett wants Pickett’s cocket in her lady pocket but Pickett don’t dick it! More like Lake Flaccid, amiright?! Froggy versus Jason, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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In 1976, Paul Schrader penned the screenplay for Taxi Driver, a film so important that it was considered "culturally, historically, or aesthetically" significant by the U.S. Library of Congress and was selected for preservation in the National Film Registry. In 2016, he directed Dog Eat Dog, which involves Nicolas Cage, Willem Dafoe, and Christopher Matthew Cook trying to steal a baby after a rousing game of "douse each other with condiments in a hotel room." Oh, how the great have fallen.

Ex-cons executing executions! Platitudinous portrayal of unprincipled police! Assuming an audiences’ indifference to infants! Mad dog murders mother/daughter and movie makes despicable move to moralize the dude! Rob wins the finger game! Hotel Heinz & Hunts! Double diesel potato! Stimulants and boobs, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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We kick off season 38 of The Worst Movie Ever Made with The Thing With Two Heads... a screenplay that somehow landed a helicopter budget.

Athletic African American anticipating amputation avenges accusation! Doing deliberate decapitation despite donor in the dark! Jack trying to mack with the doc in the sack! Needlepoint for men! Rick Baker side-struts! Full movie half-nelson! Dutch oven delegations! Garage Sale Get Out? Shared lung semantics, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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It's good movie week, so we're talking about Predator, which directly inspired that one episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force where Carl has a toilet bowl with an invisibility cloak that destroys his body, but only before he gets a new body made completely out of eyeballs! We've got nothing clever to say here, so we'll get right into the yelling.

Arnold and almost Apollo annihilate adversary! Geena Davis jabs galore! Skinned humans still shocking! Hunters getting hunted! Blain’s MTV T-Shirt! Dillon's pencil pushing puts platoon in peril! Psychological impact on Mac! Arnie gets a Rambo reel! Accolade sack dipping! Alabama tick digs! Cowering under the power! Gay slander... not so good! Predator’s glowing porn water! Wild boar battles! Not enough bomb spears, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week we finally took a look at the infamous Showgirls! Or as we like to call it, Whiplash with titties!

Too many titties to TitScope (™)! Casually kicking cocks and causing chaos! Being a bitch to the babe that bought you burgers (and everyone else)! Crazy woman cusses wildly causing wimpy kids to wig out! Conjuring conflict by creating non-consensual coital climax completely clear of context! Disappointing lack of White Zombie! Zack’s satisfying cell-phone snap! Nomi swinging her sweat smells! Burgers and fries taste better out of red plastic baskets! Walking with jizz jazz in your jeans! “I’ll do anything but ice my nipples!” Chris hates saxophones, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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Next week we watch Ryan Reynolds take his shirt off.

Morbius. Mighty Morbin' Morphian Morbius. Wow. If the audio issues we had on this episode were any indication, we'd venture to guess that Jared Leto's stupid ass broke our podcast. We edited out most of the audio issues (Chris' My Little Pony themed soundboard was on the fritz) for your listening experience, but we'll never forget. Just like we'll never forget watching this piece of doo doo.

Yelling:

A virtual vampire vehicle is very vexing! Opaque overnight offense obscuring optics! Megachiroptera are murderers! Making main character Morbius a mild-mannered mercenary murderer! Post-pandemic 2022 bat blood transfusion trouble! Fake cure for real rare blood disorder! Stupid light flicker hallway maneuvers! Is Morbius Batman? Garbage heap Gordon Ramsey, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made.

If you want to see us fiddle with our audio interfaces for an indeterminate amount of time, the unabridged video version of this episode will be available on YouTube this coming Sunday, which could be found at:

www.theworstmovieevermade.com