This week, we talk about the 1991 Brian Bosworth blockbuster, Stone Cold. Though this film boasts the typical early '90s action movie trappings, Chris and Rob kind of loved it. Bob also loved it, but he won't admit it. Let's get into it!

Wicked white washed wayfarers! 14.5 boobs! Wanton destruction of small business (again)! Crating commandos and capping them! Putting Ice on ice by pushing him into a person’s Plymouth! Prostitution! Maybe scabies? Bedraggled beards! The old fish factory! Total Moleman vibes! Biker Olympics? Aryan Brotherhood Cinematic Universe (ABCU)! One Eye, the penis pirate, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

Next week, it's us against Carrot Top.

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1998 was a strange year... Universities were fully populated and operational on Fourth of July weekend, radio shows called their listeners and not the other way around, and we were supposed to feel bad for a protagonist who committed vehicular manslaughter and got away with it because they have bad dreams about the incident or something. We're talking, of course, about I Still Know What You Did Last Summer; a turd in blanket that bakes in the steamy Bahama heat.

Dave debates a dead body disregard! Joking about Julie’s justifiable jitters! Tyrell totaling a vulnerable valet’s voodoo display! Creole bone-tossing dice games! Singers with cheese! Clicky hand clutches? Campeos! Multiverse wiener semantics! Stifled boners! Meat stuffed roadside condoms, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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email us, you cowards.

This week, we talk about "One Missed Call," or as we like to call it: Toshiba J-T09: The Movie. It's also worth noting that there were several missed calls, otherwise the whole "voicemail is going to murder several people" thing wouldn't work. But after thinking about it, nothing about this movie worked.

We're joined by Chad Smith from The Last Comic Shop Podcast (https://www.lastcomicshoppodcast.com/)... something we alluded to in the first act of our show, because unlike "One Missed Call," we know how to actually build up into something worthwhile.

Pulling the pussy into the pond! Kicking cursed cell phones into sewers and fish tanks! Husband hanging himself when he has an abused daughter at home! Asking an audience to observe an adolescent expire VIA asthma attack! Chris defending baby Hitler? God dammit grabbing a girls face after she suffered abuse! Munchausen syndrome by proxy? Finding the doer! Dialing in on Druid time! Infertile adversaries! Swift ciggie singe suspicion! CGI cellphone babies! Faulty pipe logic rears its ugly head, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

This episode is brought to you by TitScope.

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We kick off season 29 with the one and only Idle Hands! Bob couldn't contain his excitement... he was so excited about this episode (because it's his favorite movie of all time), that he spontaneously combusted and couldn't make the taping. Just kidding, he was out drowning dogs in a shallow bathing pond like his hero John Travolta or something.

Anyhow...

Pushing puppies and flinging felines! Accidental ass grab accolades! Handsy hand hanging off the hooters! Tricking Tanya into near necrophilia! African apple turnovers! Gritty stripper music! Inconsistent curses! Whipping it around all willy-nilly! Chris-foolery? Back-to-back Jack-o'-lanterns! Covered in blood tourette’s? Tasers don’t do that! Pulling off the principal’s penis! Faulty pipe logic VIA industrial fan vent! Icarus’ Naruto run into the sun, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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Get u some.  

On this week's good movie episode, we talk about John Carpenter's Halloween; the iconic slasher that put the genre on the map. We get a little nit-picky, but it was all in good fun. The important thing is that we're watching Idle Hands next week. Let's get into it!

Killer Kid! Catalyst for John Carpenter! Terrific tracking shots!

Super iconic soundtrack! Laurie’s not listening in literature but answers accurately anyway! Camera makes mention of matches that later confirms murder! Creeper killer in the clothes lines! Totally made these terror tropes trendy! Doobie smoking teens! Hotdog influence! Freddy Krueger leaf sprinkling shenanigans! Corn starch mustard powder? Thing Pandering! Advanced Loomis learning, and much, much more on this week's episode of The BEST Movie Ever Made!

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Today we talk about Fair Game, starring one of the last great sultans of thespianism, William "Billy" Baldwin. What an unfortunate face he has.

Coworker and competing counselor want Crawford in a thong! Mom molly whopping her minor! Discharging on dude’s ding-dong! Chris, the internet boob sleuth! Leaving the little girl after leaving her mom! Crackin’ Cubans in a cab! Smelly steam-train sexies! Villain do svidaniya voicemail violence! Max making vaggy mince-meat! Baldwin-breeding! Crawford cartridge catastrophes! Sunrise beach-run tropey opens! Inexplicable explosions! Railing on the rail! Penis prayers at the Dick Church, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week, we review Tiptoes, a movie with no protagonist, and a whole lot of problems. We're going to keep this write up short, and get right into the yelling:

Totally made up little people defense league! Pregnancy panic! Exchanging expectoration in a park full of pee-wees! Secret soiree sexies behind see-through walls!  Jewish wedding jokes! Destroying the door of the doctor’s! Crying for chromosomes! Breastfeeding baby booze! Gary Oldman gets the gig! White girls with cornrows! Crying blanket Chipotle! Foregoing the pump and dump! Flabby action heroes, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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On today's episode we talk about Hard Ticket to Hawaii, or as we like to call it, "Dial ‘B’ for Boobies."

Chad Smith from The Last Comic Shop Podcast (www.thelastcomicshoppodcast.com) joins us in the third act to demasculate Rob with his Marvel knowledge.

Let's get into tit:

Immediate titties! Official uniforms showing ass! Jacuzzi boobs! To hell with honeymooners! Marketing Malibu Express! Gratuititties! James Bond bone jumping jokes! Handsy hosts! Speaking Spanish to Sumos! Investigatitties! Ridiculous raunchy remarks during rescues! Wet toiletritties! The “S” word with a hard “L-E”! End creditties! Elbow miss-snakes! Razorblade frisbees! Rowdy rocket-launching! Double-boobie bingo! Bamboozled by bulimia, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week, we took a look at Double Team, starring Jean-Claude van Damme (JCVD as we like to call him) and Dennis Rodman.

Chad Smith from The Last Comic Shop Podcast (www.lastcomicshoppodcast.com) joins us once again to talk about Avengers: Endgame during our Marvel segment where Rob increasingly wants to kill himself with each passing week.

Let's get into the nitty gritty:

Casual car-bombing! Chuck Voltage! Circus skirmish despite civilians! Maternity munitions! Nerve gas nursing homes! Wedding warfare! Mandarin man martial artist gang member! Resting a rugrat in an abandoned arena aisle! Shooting kids! Dennis "Trick Shot" Rodman! Cybermonks! Too many closeups! Laying the pipe on the formerly preggo protagonist’s partner? Reverse ROYGBIV! All terrain dump-trucks! Toe-tickling danger jumps! Foot Shank Redemption! Baby mine tiger arena battle scenes! Poop posture, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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Steven Frederic Seagal is an American-born actor, producer, screenwriter and martial artist. A 7th-dan black belt in aikido, he began his adult life as a martial arts instructor in Japan and eventually ended up running his father-in-law's dojo. He also pooped himself once when Judo Gene Lebell choked him in a dispute that we can reasonably assume was about a plate of cupcakes. Though he vehemently denies these claims, he cannot deny that he starred in Sniper Special Ops, which made all three of us collectively shit our pants upon viewing.

Manhandling the media! Seriously sweaty stars except Seagal! Bashir being banished to the back of the big rig! Woman waving her wean in a war zone! Bullet begat side-boob! Reeling back into the real world with tightened torsos! Celebratory corpse captures! Gun flavored glizzies! No joy on the priority package! Disappointing lack of decoy congressmen, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

Holy Shit.

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Next week, we're coming for Dennis Rodman.