The Young Gaffers | An irreverent look at The Beautiful Game

Wherein Our Heroes are joined by Brendan, Wielder of The Whistle of Never-Ending Substitutions, to discuss prognostications and predictions for Groups A, B, and C. We think France could be magnifique in front of their home supporters, wonder if Wayne Rooney will spell doom for England's attacking three, and feel Thomas Müller is a candidate for das Golden Boot. The new tournament format is titillating, Wales may surprise, and the Swiss likely won't miss. Also, Mario Gómez and his slick locks may just prove decisive for Germany.

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Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain

Wherein Our Heroes recount the glorious experience that is a Calgary Foothills FC home opener, shout-out to some fellow Canadian football lovers and podcasters, and delve into a bottomless pit of segments. Jérôme Boateng can be our neighbour any day, 7-year-old Ewen makes a bid for the vacant Inverness Caledonian Thistle manager job, and Jose Mourinho takes the helm at Manchester United. We're in agreement that defense and underperforming starlets are the cause of Chelsea's downfall and feel sorry for Juanfran after a pulsating Champions League Final. Also, the party's over for Jamie Vardy's lookalike.

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Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain

Wherein Our Heroes are joined by the Grand Duke, Supreme High Chancellor, and Protector of the Realm of Gafferonia himself, Brendan. We review a pulsating FA Cup Final, including rave reviews for Jesse Lingard's thatch and Alan Pardew's hip gyrations, get serious and chat about the verdict in the recent Hillsborough inquiry, and encourage Canada Soccer to make sure the upper bowl at BC Place is open and raucous in September. Also, Brendan faces the greatest test in all of podcasting, "The Lighting Round".

Send us your questions or comments via e-mail to [email protected], @younggaffers on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/theyounggaffers

Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain

Wherein Our Heroes dissect CD Palencia's anatomy kit, award Tesco gift cards to the pyromaniacs at Eskişehirspor, and pay respects to two Premier League sackings. Southampton sneaks into the Europa League, Kei Kamara gets traded after all is said and done, and Vancouver vanquishes Toronto in an MLS barn burner. Also, the Ginger Giant (Alexi Lalas) embellishes the year-old soccer rivalry on both sides of the Hudson.

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Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain

Wherein Our Heroes lament Joe Cole's move from Coventry City to Tampa Bay, share our favourite Elton John tunes, and dole out the first on-pitch Joey Barton Award to Romeo Parkes. Jamie Vardy throws the mother of all parties and sits through a 7-hour tattoo session. Will Frank Lampard ever play again in MLS? Was Columbus right to suspend Kei Kamara? Also, BMO Field gets a sexy makeover in "Let's Talk Aboot It" and the final match at Upton Park is one of legend.

Send us your questions or comments via e-mail to [email protected], @younggaffers on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/theyounggaffers

Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain

Wherein Our Heroes celebrate the unlikely, yet wholly deserved Premier League Champions, Leicester City F.C. Aston Villa supporter, Tom Hanks, may (or may not) have won himself $730,000 USD, the international media bungle the greatest Cinderella story in the history of sport, and controversial officiating is a storyline at The Theatre of Dreams. Spurs channel "The Crazy Gang", and Leicester's habitual starting XI are worth less than Pedro, Hazard, and Raheem Sterling's legs. Also, internet promises made must be kept. Good luck in Bratislava, @Mark0_dcfc

Send us your questions or comments via e-mail to [email protected], @younggaffers on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/theyounggaffers

Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain

Wherein Our Heroes dissect recent comments by wonder-scout Piet de Visser and his assessment of José Mourinho's man management, Alan Pardew unveils the subject of his FA Cup motivational tactics - namely him, and Infantino promises FIFA will ensure Qatar's employment standards are on the up-and-up. Meanwhile, Sakho faces a potentially lengthy ban and Benitez leads the Magpies to their first points away from St. James'. Also, Montreal can't handle The Atomic Ant in Drogba's first start of the season. We're not nobbling!

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Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain

Wherein Our Heroes get behind the need for more friendlies at home in The Great White North. Lescott and Agbonlahor don’t do themselves any favours post-relegation, and the Portland Timbers hire an Ivy League student to help build a champion, Moneyball-style. Jack Wilshere makes the podcast again, for dubious reasons. Controversy ensues in both Orlando and Leicester as questionable officiating results in 2-2 draws. Also, Jamie Vardy may have a future on the Great Britain Diving Team while Andy Carroll’s shoulder can seemingly move mountains.

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Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain

Wherein Our Heroes flog the dead mule that is MLS officiating, question Louis van Gaal’s personnel choices versus Spurs, and sing Andy Carroll’s praises. Also, we dust off the Wheel o’ Segments...wherever will it land? Gary Lineker is made to write lines for his blind love, Patrick Vieira serves up some humble pie, and Michael Michael gets a nod for service above and beyond the call of esthetics.

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Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain

Wherein Our Heroes swim in a deluge of topics, including Ronaldo’s “tighty whities” in Real Madrid’s post-Classico team photo, Erin McLeod’s recent injury misfortune, and Remi Garde’s demise at Aston Villa. Bad MLS Comics aren’t really all that bad but our first female Joey Barton winner’s recent behaviour is (sorry Abby Wambach). We debate Antonio Conte’s recent appointment as Chelsea manager and the etiquette of good sportsmanship on the pitch. Also, we are Cabo!

Send us your questions or comments via e-mail to [email protected], @younggaffers on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/theyounggaffers

Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain