The Young Gaffers | An irreverent look at The Beautiful Game

Wherein Our Heroes adjudge themselves to be desolate after the last round of the MLS playoffs. Jamie Vardy is the slyest of Foxes (not to be Ruud), Brendan Rodgers hops The Tube, and Rooney’s slaps are better than his finishing. Also, Stoic Loic Remy receives a huzzah for not going to ground, Jeb Brovsky rocks a modern-day Errol Flynn look, and a Costa Rican referee gets the heave-ho from CONCACAF. Jason recounts his recent experience in Vancouver, and The Gaffers weigh in on MLS and BPL before the international break.

Music by: Bear Mountain - http://music.mybearmountain.com

Wherein Our Heroes get in touch with their inner Liza Minnelli, belt out Aaron Neville’s greatest hits in Spanish and dip into the mail bag to answer your burning questions. Chelsea’s woes are innumerable, Barcelona’s players are left with huevos on their face, and Rémi is the new Garde. Also, Sasha brings the stasha, sacking Kreis ain’t nice, and the Impact drive all the girls crazy.

Music by: Bear Mountain - http://music.mybearmountain.com

The clock hath struck midnight on the MLS regular season and only 12 clubs have survived the bloodbath. Our Heroes provide their ghoulish predictions on who will come out alive and who will be dragged to the fiery depths of hell. Will Sporting Kansas City transform when the moon is full? Will Mauro Biello’s unnatural creation come to life at Saputo? Will Carl Robinson’s children of the night feast on the souls of the living? The Young Gaffers answer all of these questions and more on this most devilish 13th episode. Also, we answer fan mail from Amy.

Music by Iron Maiden, Johann Sebastian Bach, and Bobby “Boris” Pickett

Wherein Our Heroes discuss topics including (but not limited to): rule changes, Bond villains, the Ballon D’Or not-so-shortlist, Junior Hoilett’s patriotism, pressing tactics, getting shown pink, Jurgen Klopp’s debut, Mourinho losing the plot, Wijnaldum’s quad trick, a trifecta of Canadian awesomeness in MLS, and Liam’s calendar miscue. Also, we bring you the full gamut of regular segments. Strap in and hold on, ‘cause this ride is gonna get bumpy.

Music by: Bear Mountain - http://music.mybearmountain.com

Wherein Our Heroes dish out a veritable footballing feast of autumnal profundity. The British press falls for Jurgen Klopp (Haircut of the Week recipient) like newly changed oak leaves in the October breeze, we’re havin’ Don Garber’s vision like decorative gourds on a bountiful table, and Blatter, Valcke and Platini reap what they sow. Also, international injuries runneth over like a Horn ‘o’ Plenty and the Canadian Soccer Association schedules a mid-week turkey.

Music by: Bear Mountain - http://music.mybearmountain.com

Wherein Our Heroes lube themselves in irreverence and slide into goings on with Brendan Rodgers, José Mourinho, and Manchester United’s tactical woes. Arsenal won’t let their partner finish, Aguero bags five in one day, and the MLS nears its trembling climax. Also, John Terry nets a Tesco gift card for malodorous parking practices.

Music by: Bear Mountain - http://music.mybearmountain.com

Wherein Our Heroes elaborate on Lewandowski's quint trick, Sir Alex Ferguson's world beaters, Emmanuel Adebayor's clubless woes, Brendan Rodgers' lifeline (aka Daniel Sturridge), José Mourinho's straight dope, James Milner's Yorkshire puddings, Rudy Gestede's head, Romelu Lukaku's brace, Catalan tax evasion, Ligue 1 effigies, Memphis Depay's golden grill, Morgan Schneiderlin's ESL tips, and search engine optimization. Also, Cyle Larin is invited out for a rip and Adam and Jason do their best Harry 'Michael' Kane impressions.

Music by: Bear Mountain - http://music.mybearmountain.com

Wherein Our Heroes get in touch with their Canuck roots, provide a polite roundup of Canadian MLS action, and cover the Premier League like a good toque when yer out playin' shinny. Also, Costa flattens Koscielny like a beaver tail, Winston Reid stands firm like a lodgepole pine, and Anthony Martial rocks Southampton like The Young Gaffers rock a flannel shirt.

Music by: Bear Mountain - http://music.mybearmountain.com

Wherein Our Heroes wax philosophical about goings on in the Barclays Premier League and Major League Soccer – Ivanovic is Terrible, Cesc looks Fabregassed and Michel scores an olimpico. Also, Italians get their green cards, the world’s first Permhawk is duly celebrated, and we witness a magnificent Double Outro.

Music by: Bear Mountain - http://music.mybearmountain.com

Wherein Our Heroes read fan mail, provide a geometry lesson, and promise to discuss things later (but in true Gaffers fashion, don’t). Also, Robert Huth and Saido Berahino are declared co-recipients in a weekly segment.

Music by: Bear Mountain - http://music.mybearmountain.com