Tanya Tenica Patxot lost her highschool sweetheart at 24 years old. She was pregnant with their second child at the time and had a hard time coping with everything that was going on. It was almost expected that Tanya would have everything ‘under control’, but on the inside, she was suffering. Tanya shares that when dealing with grief, you also have to deal with the underlying trauma that gets created from losing a loved one. If not, then little problems or triggers will keep happening throughout your life.

 

Key Takeaways:

• How did Tanya get started in this work?
• Tanya lost her highschool sweetheart two days after she told him she was pregnant with her second child.
• This is also around the time where Tanya felt psychologically unemployable and wanted to start a business for herself.
• Tanya wasn’t dealing with grief well. She lost her husband at 24 years old. She had to host two funerals for him and had a child she had to protect.
• Tanya felt like it was almost expected of her to be under control and have all the ‘womanly’ duties done. She wonders if men would get the same treatment.
• When people asked her if she was okay, she was honest and just said no.
• People are so occupied by ‘what can I do for you’, but what you need is to just ‘be there’.
• When you lose such a presence in your home, you feel so scared and vulnerable. Having people just ‘be there’ in your home and doing everyday activities with you can be huge.
• How does Tanya help her clients? Some of them were making 6-7 figures and wanted to commit suicide.
• It sounds silly because we’re adults, but there’s something really powerful about someone giving you permission to be a crazy person/sad/wild/whatever you might be feeling.
• Oftentimes, when there’s grief, there is also trauma. When you feel triggered, there is a root cause to that and it’s important to keep diving deeper and deeper until you find it.

 

Resources:

Tanyatenica.com