THESE GUYS!

What’s the point of buying buffalo wings at the grocery store if they take five hours to cook and shrink down into tiny buffalo bites before you even get to eat them? idk but i’m doin it tonight 🙌JoyJoy is coming off a legendary Purdue win and the ultimate "make-a-wish" Saturday—complete with an accidental date night, an exclamation-point text from his wife, a random bar meetup at Binkley's AND afternoon beers at Tiebreakers in his elastic-ankle sweatpants. Meanwhile, Benny receives a fresh Friday text from Coach P about a Dairy Queen Blizzard run, and the guys unpack why a 3:30 PM to 6:00 PM afternoon hang with the fellas beats staying out until 1:00 AM every single time.

First, Coach P makes his weekly appearance after claiming he personally invented "all dry" no-butter breadsticks at Fazoli's and college baseball walk-up music back in 1975. We revisit the magic of Christmas Eve—from sitting three glasses of red wine deep in a hot living room while a random bowl game plays in the background to realizing people actually go to Ruth's Chris for holiday dinners. Then, we complain about the terrible jersey contrast between Bama and Georgia, leading us into a debate on the hardest teams to watch in college football (lowkey texas) then we wonder why MetLife Stadium is always hit with a monsoon of piss rain

Next, we relive the glory days of Candlestick Park with low scoreboards and pull-out bleachers, and salute Hines Field on a freezing Sunday night with Big Ben wearing a beanie. We mourn the breakup of Mike Tirico and Jon Gruden on Monday Night Football, expose Troy Aikman using the exact same commentary phrases 22 times in one half, and break down why your hardcore Steelers fandom naturally fades into casual watching once you have kids running around. To wrap things up, we map out exact college football parallels to the NFL (Notre Dame as Green Bay, Michigan as Dallas, LSU as Tampa Bay, and Georgia as Philadelphia) Luv u Clubhouse xoxo

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We’re back in the clubhouse today recovering from moving chaos, breaking down sexy fall voice and Joey's interview with our dad Tony Reali

First, Benny recaps his apartment move that ruined his entire life then we relive the weird college hookah phase where guys sat around lamps without lampshades making bubbling water noises😶‍🌫️ after that we try to figure out why every girl named Tori is low-key terrifying. Then we introduce a new segment called Sh*t Our Dads Said

For the mailbag, we debate how much "hunty" is too much on fall Sundays, salute fried biscuits with apple butter at the pumpkin patch, and choose Kentucky as the ultimate free-agent college football program🫡 To wrap things up, we relive the most lit PE classes (floor hockey and human foosball) and remember picking up Bapa John's bizza with your dad while blasting Linkin Park and dreaming of running 70 yards down the sideline in high school

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Is a Snickers bar actually a magic power bar containing healthy fats and essential energy, or did your dad just gas you up at 8 years old so you'd play better in the second game of a Little League double-header? We are back in the clubhouse today making the ultimate case for Snickers as the avocado of candy and admitting that we're both empaths who feel genuinely heartbroken for the unworn shoes in our closets. We recall the tragedy of elite NFL cornerbacks falling off and going to the Steelers for 2 years (Patrick Peterson)  We relive going to your homie's house with an older brother who had all his friends over which felt like hanging out in an All-Star locker room with LeBron, AI, and Carmelo Anthony.

Then we talk cliché post-college jobs—from Enterprise rental car salesmen and cold-calling life insurance reps in an Applebee's to corporate quarter-zip guys and Instagram-verified realtors pitching "two-story ranches" in Carmel. To close things out, we construct our ultimate Death Row high school cafeteria last meal (featuring Wednesday Papa John's, country fried steak with extra gravy, and those legendary unbaked freshman-year chocolate chip cookies in thin plastic bags), we pay homage to Chiller for walking into lunch with zero money and leaving with $100 in cash, and debate the most unforgettable ESPN ticker moments in television history

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"Imagine walking into a seasonal coffee shop where Nick Saban is behind the counter refusing to serve light roast, Pat McAfee is standing on the counter shouting latte orders, and Darren McFadden runs your drink out to your car like a read-option play." That is the exact college game day fever dream we constructed in the clubhouse today while trying to fix Saturday mornings. Why does an NFL game scheduled for 7:30 PM not actually kick off until 7:52 PM while some guy wearing bright orange oven mitts up to his elbows holds the entire stadium hostage for TV commercials? We break down why college football feels like a real holiday every single Saturday, while the NFL feels completely fake until Week 8 when Halloween bonfires hit.

Then, Mel's Best Available returns from a month-long hiatus for the ELITE brand and team mascots. We establish the official Holy Trinity of culture (Jesus, Santa Claus, and Mickey Mouse), debate why Joe Camel in black Ray-Bans playing pool would steal your girl, and relive eating 1998 KFC Zingers while watching Adam Sandler put on lipstick in Billy Madison. We salute the Icy Bear's baggy jeans and shades, explain why Pizza King's model train delivering breadsticks directly to your booth was pure childhood magic, and crown the Suns Gorilla for dunking off trampolines in a Steve Nash jersey. To close things out, we run through honorable mentions including the Stanford Tree, Boltman, Uga drooling on his spiked doghouse, and why the Nesquik Bunny deserves way more respect than actual human beings

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THEY CAN’T STOP ME EVEN IF THEY STOPPED ME You put on track two of Lil Wayne's The Carter 3 on during a road trip, get instant chills, and feel like you're 17 years old again—only for your wife to break after 22 seconds and ask if we can put on a podcast instead 🤖 ANYTHING FOR U PIDDY 🤖 We're back in the clubhouse today repping fresh Steelers soccer drip, geeking out over Brett Favre chin strap emojis in the Discord, and debating the strict etiquette of watching REDZONE quadbox at a Saturday wedding reception. 

First, we address the brutal reality of hitting the 33-year-old wall at 8:30pm. We break down the horror of walking to your house at 10:15pm, gaslighting yourself into believing a 7 foot clown is right behind you ☹️ Then we salute the generational run of Disney Channel original movies, along with the holy trinity of Cartoon Network weed kids who stayed up drinking Mountain Dew to watch Courage the Cowardly Dog, Robot Chicken, and Ed, Edd n Eddy

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The boys are back in the clubhouse defending the honor of morning talk radio, ranking the absolute elite college football bowl game logos of the 2000s, and exposing BP's family for celebrating Thanksgiving on July 11th like the freaks they are. Benny recaps his 30-minute drive to Pasadena just to buy a used Texas A&M Revo helmet from Play It Again Sports, and we investigate an eBay-acquired Drew Brees Purdue jersey featuring a sketchy limited-edition red Boilermaker logo. Then we settle the ultimate aesthetic debate: is your favorite college football program a daytime team or a night time team? Hint: LSU is the ultimate night game beast, while Ohio State is forever locked into the daytime slot. For the main event, we reveal our 10000% unofficial 2026 College Football Season Preview awards. To wrap things up, the emails brought a brilliant list of clubhouse-friendly curse word substitutes like shouting "Peerless Price" to save your marriage, a debate over why college athletes like JT Barrett and Perry Ellis seem to stay in school for a decade, and a mutual agreement to end it all if we ever see a couple wearing matching "I'm her hunty" and "I'm his pree ladyyyyy" shirts.

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Imagine eating a bowl of salty Kalamata olives at 4am just so you can retain enough water to survive 7 straight hours on national television without a single bathroom break 🫪 That is the legendary level of bladder integrity Scott Hanson brings to the table every single Sunday. SH is a certified machine but he's also apparently a massive gamer who orders Postmates and DoorDash at the exact same time to have them race to his front door. We sit down with the king of the witching hour to talk about his insane 70-inch home penta-box setup, why he drove a Chevy Blazer with a front push bar to smash shopping carts in 1989, and his career bucket-list dream of broadcasting alongside Mike Tirico.
Before SH rolls into the clubhouse we mourn the tragic death of the ESPN ticker 🕊️ call out high school football players doing performative, slow-motion ski mask edits on Instagram and discuss the absolute genius of the fake 49ers player who committed to the bit so hard he pumped gas wearing a full uniform with a visor on.
Then we hit the listener emails and try to figure out why the hottest girls always have a shattered phone screens, we decide vintage 2006 Reebok Steelers sideline hoodies are the tufffest of all time, and why watching the Washington Commanders play on a home turf (that looks like an ugly cow farm) is the most depressing thing on television (not a sports pod)

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"Imagine getting completely roasted in front of every hot senior girl in high school because your Old Navy jeans are too long." If that psychological damage doesn't make you want to be homeschooled, nothing will. We're celebrating our 200th episode looking back at the absolute chaos of the OG spress pods. Then we remember Robbie the scary kid in your neighborhood who smoked cigarettes by the creek 🚬 We also salute to your school friends, the low-key funny classmates you never hang out with outside of school, but hold down 3rd period with you bc your day-one homies are 100% never in your class. Next, legendary former NFL quarterback Matt Hasselbeck joins the clubhouse to talk about  what it was like putting gas in Brett Favre's truck before practice, his love for un-frosted strawberry Pop-Tarts (no frills god) and the time Mike Holmgren told him he ran like a giraffe on ice 🦒 To wrap it up, we answer clubhouse emails to debate which NFL season is the most rewatchable, why the Chicago Bears are soooo Old Testament, and how to deal with the scariest situashhhhion of your life: Varsity basketball games

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wUtS tHiS pOdCasT aBoUt? i dOnT gEt iT??? iS iT aBoUt 2 gRoWn mEn pAsSiOnAtEly dEbAtiNg tHe aRcHiTeCtUrAl iNtEgRiTy oF a miD-90s sChOol lUnCh? First the boys get straight into the childhood terror of sleeping over at a new friend's house where they call the TV remote a "clicker." They invent a new clubhouse appetizer called the wedge breaker loaded with melted cheese, mozzarella sticks, and fried pickles. Then the legendary Jerry Ferrara (Turtle from Entourage) rolls into the clubhouse. Jerry breaks down the time he wore his own black Jerome Bettis jersey to his final Entourage network test to look a little wider next to Johnny Drama, he talks about why rocking a Boston Red Sox jersey in a New York hood will get you murdered and his why he raw dogs s'mores Pop-Tarts straight out of the foil (real one). They rank the best school lunches and design a promotional flyer for their fourth-period econ class feat. Mr. Hauser and weed kid in an Elmo hoodie (who's not goin?)

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magine fumbling, crying after your senior season opener, getting back to your locker room at 11:30 p.m. after a brutal three-hour lightning delay, and finding a text from your crush saying they left at halftime to liiiike dRiNk aT sOmE bAsKeTbAll pLaYeR's lAkE hOuSe (Not a reminiscent pod) High school football is officially back, which means you're sleeping for three hours, getting sniped by Chuck Weisenbach at the local McDonald's drive-thru for trying to leave campus during your 15-minute lunch break, and getting threatened by your head fball coach with blank gray helmets all year 😭

The clubhouse opens up the vault on the Pro Football Hall of Fame, which is basically Guy Area51. We lay out why walking into Canton makes you want to host your 10th birthday party at Rascal’s Fun Zone all over again, what it's like to literally slide sideways into Jerome Bettis’ clay leg molds, and the absolute shock of being handed a donut box containing Edgerrin James’ actual chopped-off dreadlocks. Plus, we debate if there is a more NFL game in existence than a late-November matchup between the Giants and Broncos ??

Then, we bring back Mel’s Best Available for the ultimate draft: Necks. We're talking Takeo Spikes looking down in his Buffalo Bills headshot, Paul Posluszny’s Penn State top collar button fighting for its life, and the legend of Jason Werner's neck at Purdue that would cause a medieval guillotine to bounce right off. Finally, we sift through the mailbag to talk about high school broadcasting hot mic disasters, the traumatic memory of watching Ron Artest barrel into the Detroit stands during the Malice at the Palace, and the drippiest numbers for o-linemen💧

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