"The Three Wise Men should have been like a rap group." Imagine the sheer presence of these three guys pulling up to the manger in slow motion with gold and frankincense while everyone else is just standing around. We talk about the glory of Christmas church bangers and how a perfectly timed crescendo on "O Holy Night" will still make a grown man cry. Plus, we look back at the absolute shame of getting called out in the Instagram comments for wearing fake Jordans back in 2012 and the sheer panic of hiding dip spitters in your high school car.

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00:00 Intro and getting tickies for the Chicago live show
04:30 Buying dupes on the TikTok shop and the origin story of fake Jordans
13:15 The sheer panic of hiding dip spitters from your mom
19:30 Remembering the pure magic of opening a Kohl's box with an NFL jersey inside
26:15 Cheating off your girl's Amazon wish list to win at holiday gifts
30:15 The crushing reality of four tests on a Friday and guessing on scantrons
34:30 Discussing Indie food spots and playing video games at Pizza King
40:40 Hearing wild stories about Peyton Manning sleeping in the St Elmo basement
42:30 Breaking down why Game Boy is AFC and Sega Game Gear is NFC
48:15 Giving advice on working the graveyard shift in local sports radio
54:20 Rating the all-time Christmas church bangers and the Three Wise Men pulling up

"If your life was a museum, what would be in the gift shop on the way out?" We look back at the absolute glory of hunting down late 90s McDonald's Beanie Babies and the pure panic of hiding in a basement from a tornado. We also settle the ultimate debate on why McDonald's is strictly an AFC restaurant while Burger King gives off massive NFC energy. Plus, we talk about the harsh reality of being a Steelers fan right now and the terrible style choices we made in middle school.

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Hit us up on the email line: [email protected]

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https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/these-guys/id1649757408

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00:00 Intro and details for the Chicago live show
02:40 Discussion on the Steelers going out sad and buying fake jerseys
06:15 Hearing about sweating out a fever and wearing thick socks
10:10 Conversations on birds charging on power lines and eagle attacks
15:30 The sheer panic of pulling over in a ditch during a tornado warning
20:10 Remembering the pure magic of McDonald's Happy Meal Beanie Babies
23:45 Breaking down why McDonald's is AFC and Burger King is NFC
28:10 Listening to memories of the elite era of baggy mesh Reebok jerseys
38:30 Answering what would be in the gift shop of your personal museum
42:10 Watching Kevin Love break backboards on Channel One TVs
52:15 Reading emails about all-star weed kids and terrible middle school fits

"You smell like outside." Imagine coming inside after a grueling seven-game series of driveway basketball against your dad and you are just starving for Papa John's. We look back at the absolute glory of lowering the hoop to seven and a half feet to try Vince Carter dunks and the ultimate Heisman moment of your dad walking through the door with three pizzas. Plus, we settle the bracket for the fakest work weeks of the year and figure out which Thanksgiving side dishes compare to NBA legends.

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Hit us up on the email line: [email protected]

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https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/these-guys/id1649757408

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00:00 Intro and wearing a Brett Favre signed Packers hat
04:15 Doing the local sports radio voice for Thanksgiving sides
10:30 Breaking down why the week of Thanksgiving is the fakest work week
18:45 The crushing reality and depression of the Sunday after Thanksgiving
24:20 Remembering grassroots Black Friday at the Nike outlet in baggy sweatpants
32:15 The sheer danger of going out on Blackout Wednesday before seeing family
40:30 Answering emails and comparing Thanksgiving food to NBA players
49:15 Realizing you played against Luke Kuechly in high school
55:40 The absolute danger of taping your own ankles with spats for no reason
01:05:20 Pitching the perfect NFL color-on-color matchups for Easter and Valentine's Day
01:14:10 The pure magic of lowering the driveway hoop to seven and a half feet
01:21:30 The Dad Heisman moment of picking up the Little Caesars pizza

"I guess I pull off all their toenails." That is the kind of absolute nonsense you hear in the back row of a high school football practice while waiting for your reps. We look back at the glory days of pro pads, wearing baggy mesh jerseys over your equipment, and the pure anxiety of calling a girl's home phone only for her dad to pick up. Plus, we break down a massive clubhouse theory about how kids who slept in basement bedrooms were always the ones getting into trouble. 

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Hit us up on the email line: [email protected]

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https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/these-guys/id1649757408

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🧢 *50% OFF ALL MERCH with code BALD at checkout*
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00:00 Intro and catching calf cramps in high school
03:15 Pitching the Chicago live show and bringing your girl
10:40 Remembering the glory of pro pads and wearing jerseys over your gear
16:20 The absolute chaos of the back row at football practice
21:30 Discussion on injured kids openly texting on the sidelines
27:15 Going back to your high school semi-state game with a semi-truck horn
34:10 Breaking down restaurant nicknames and why dads say Mickey D's
39:45 Reading an elite email about basement bedroom weed kids
46:30 The sheer panic of texting limits and calling girls after seven
52:15 Listening to memories of old cell phone ringtones and LG Envys
56:40 Hearing the news about Sauce Gardner and bringing back horsey sauce shirts

"I'd rather go hungry for four weeks straight than get a borrow slip." Imagine forgetting your lunch ticket in seventh grade and having to admit defeat to the lunch lady just to get a hot lunch. We look back at the absolute glory of the Scholastic Book Fair and the sheer panic of having to use the manual pencil sharpener in the middle of a quiet classroom. Plus we break down the ultimate holiday Hunty bracket to see if pastel Easter Hunty can somehow knock off Valentine's Hunty.

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Hit us up on the email line: [email protected]

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https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/these-guys/id1649757408

🍻 *Follow us on Instagram*
These Guys! https://www.instagram.com/theseguyslol
Benedict Polizzi https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizzi
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🧢 *50% OFF ALL MERCH with code BALD at checkout*
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00:00 Intro and the dad workout of putting up the Christmas tree
05:15 The absolute danger of taking off a starter jacket while driving
09:30 Discussion on the Steelers slaughtering at SoFi and the Big Nut
14:20 Remembering the sheer power of the Washington State flag guy
19:10 Getting the borrow slip at lunch and the Scholastic Book Fair
23:45 The crushing reality of huge football pencil erasers ruining math homework
28:30 Conversations about the 06-07 Nuggets and random college teams we loved
34:15 Breaking down the ultimate holiday Hunty final four bracket
39:50 Faking sick and throwing up during the pledge of allegiance
43:10 The pure anxiety of going to a 20-year high school reunion
47:20 Hearing memories of moms aggressively vacuuming over your ankles
53:40 Getting tossed by refs and St Jude pulling out alternate black jerseys
01:02:15 Listening to the most random high school and college mascots

"Every dad who answered the door just had the whitest, plainest socks and the bluest jeans ever." We look back at the absolute glory of suburban trick-or-treating and the sheer panic of seeing into a neighbor's house for the very first time. We also break down the ultimate bar strategy of taking pace laps versus holding down a booth, and settle the debate on whether AIM is strictly an AFC messenger while MSN gives off massive NFC energy. Plus, we remember the elite era of Thursday night Big East football and discontinued Gatorade flavors.

📬 *SUPPORT THE SHOW*
Hit us up on the email line: [email protected]

🎧 *Listen to the full pod*
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https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/these-guys/id1649757408

🍻 *Follow us on Instagram*
These Guys! https://www.instagram.com/theseguyslol
Benedict Polizzi https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizzi
Joey Mulinaro https://www.instagram.com/joeymulinaro

🧢 *50% OFF ALL MERCH with code BALD at checkout*
https://www.benedictmerch.com

00:00 Intro and pitting out vintage Pacers shirts
03:15 Discussion on going to Monday night NBA games just for the beers
06:40 Pitching the Chicago live show and getting tickets
07:50 Breaking down the strategy of taking laps at a bar versus holding a spot
11:30 Conversations about Halloween in LA and internet costume drama
14:15 Remembering the glory of pitch black trick-or-treating in the suburbs
17:10 The absolute reality of dads wearing white tube socks and blue jeans to hand out candy
23:20 Discussing why AIM is AFC and MSN Messenger is NFC
26:40 Listening to memories of terrible high school budget costumes
29:30 The sheer panic of the apocalyptic line at Spirit Halloween
32:15 Playing the college football groomsmen game and assigning Notre Dame
39:20 The pure nostalgia of Thursday night Big East football games
43:40 Remembering Gatorade X-Factor, Kudos bars, and Cream Savers
49:30 Pitching Halloween-themed football accessories and angry coaches
56:15 The crushing reality of Christmas car commercials taking over Halloween

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🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 https://benedictpolizzi.com/shows/

Sacramento, CA - Dec 4

Phoenix, AZ - Dec 13-14

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🧢 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗯𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗵 https://benedictmerch.com/products/clubhouse-hoodie?variant=44118163914809 

🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 https://benedictpolizzi.com/shows/

Sacramento, CA - Dec 4

Phoenix, AZ - Dec 13-14

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📬 Email the Clubhouse [email protected]
🧢 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗯𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗵 https://benedictmerch.com/products/clubhouse-hoodie?variant=44118163914809 

🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 https://benedictpolizzi.com/shows/
Sacramento, CA - Dec 4
Phoenix, AZ - Dec 13-14

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📬 Email the Clubhouse [email protected]
🧢 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗯𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗵 https://benedictmerch.com/products/clubhouse-hoodie?variant=44118163914809 

🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 https://benedictpolizzi.com/shows/
Sacramento, CA - Dec 4
Phoenix, AZ - Dec 13-14