Ty & Eric brainstorm ways to exploit Subway’s loyalty program, the idea of free footlong trials, the pains of aging, getting refunded at Subway, Kellogg’s CEO’s controversial statements about dinner, rizzing up your sandwich artist for a discount, buying toilet paper from 7-11, better uses for the grocery store checkout screen, taking a Subway lie detector test, pupil scanning at airports, and what to do when your sandwich artist is a conspiracy theorist.

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Ty & Eric discuss the best place to cram a Subway, getting overcharged for footlongs, Subway’s missing mustard conspiracy, the risks of toaster oven exposure, whether a randomized free footlong is worth the risk, movie theatre meals, Einstein’s sad life, and the invisible energy between you and your sandwich.

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Ty & Eric reflect on their pilgrimage to Subway, devouring 6” sandos, stacking veggie patties like bricks, receiving Prime Energy instead of water at restaurants, getting globbed with sweet onion sauce, visiting a pet psychic, how to improve the modern speakeasy, and when the restaurant ghosts your meal.

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Zach is a writer, comedian, and editor at New York Magazine. He sits down with Ty and Eric to discuss the plight of the teriyaki chicken sandwich, the masculine urge to eat lunch on a steel beam, visiting Subway in New York, fast sandwich competitors, whether Carbone needs a controversy, the death of spontaneous dining, teaching podcasters better manners, their Valentine’s day activations, the Las Vegas dining scene, the thrills of getting rejected from restaurants, and whether NY Mag will ever profile Subway.

instagram.com/zachschiffman

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Ty & Eric discuss the surprise and delight of mezze platters, the similarities between bean dip and Subway cheese, whether Kanye’s Vultures album is good or bad, making a Subway charcuterie, the most chewable footlong, why Spam has a bad reputation, and where ham comes from (spoiler: it’s butt).

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Ty & Eric discuss whether a good Subway sandwich is nature or nurture, Tokyo’s estranged Michelin guide restaurants, Cactus Club’s hostile takeover of fine dining, Subway’s admirable quality despite their scale, microdosing the Panera Bread lemonade, ordering a lettuce wrap at Subway, strategies for formatting the best bite, and trying the cursed Dorito dip.

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Ty & Eric analyze the controversy surrounding Drake’s meat reveal, whether Subway’s perpetual soup is poisonous, getting scammed by Starbucks, Playboi Carti wearing a thong, Subway switching from inches to basis points, ordering a sandwich while wearing the Apple Vison Pro, evidence that Kanye has low self esteem, adding olive oil to beverages, shmoozing your bartender, and the cultural eccentricities of cheese fondue.

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Ty & Eric connect for this bite-sized episode about hitting your Subway sandwich with some blue cheese sauce, the genetic difference between green and black olives, getting freaky with a muffaletta sandwich, literally gaslighting on dates, why they’re jealous of kids' meal plating, and whether films are stupid.

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Ty & Eric discuss the shelf life of Subway chicken strips, the credibility of a gloved-up sandwich artist, the dangers of ordering the double meatball, getting scammed by ‘smart’ sinks, snacking on Subway’s footlong pretzels, iterating on the caesar salad wrap, and charging your oven.

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Ty & Eric get dirty with some industrial district lobster rolls, as well as discuss shredded lettuce vs. whole leaf lettuce, role playing as a soup kitchen patron, airplane caviar, Subway’s SUBS system data leak, why the death of the bookstore gave us tinned fish, 2024 menu trends, turning sub Inches into AirMiles, eliminating graphic design entirely, bad restaurant mission statements, and whether there is a Subway-Epstein connection.

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