This Isn’t Therapy

This Isn't Therapy... it's a long overdue convo about the two most essential skills in relationships. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss a statistic about emotional availability: on average, we are only emotionally available for our partners about 9% of the time. With that in mind, they discuss how to get closer to the 9% using the two essential skills of attunement and repair. Throughout the episode, they discuss how to implement these skills through the development of micro-skills.

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Creators & Guests

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about one of the things that robs kids of a care-free childhood: being parentified. When kids are forced to grow up too soon and become adults in childhood, kids can take on adult-like responsibilities and burdens. In this episode, we talk about the difference between healthy responsibility for kids and parentification and talk about the impact of having childhood stolen from us and being burdened before we're developmentally ready.

Article: Were you a ‘parentified child’? What happens when children have to behave like adults By Nivida Chandra

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Creators & Guests

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about parasocial relationships; the one-sided emotional connections we have with casual acquaintances, people we "know" online, characters we watch in television and movies, and people we admire from afar. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about some examples from pop culture, such as Chappell Roan's desire to set boundaries as a celebrity and Sabrina Carpenter's previous relationship. In addition, they pull examples from two articles to answer one curious question: Have we reached Peak Parasocial?

Article 1: In a Celebrity-Obsessed World, Have We Reached Peak Parasocial? By Anna Cafolla

Article 2: What are parasocial relationships doing to our brains? By Allegra Rosenberg

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Creators & Guests

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This isn’t therapy… it’s part three in our series about the war on human connection. In this episode, we talk about how overwhelming people with tragic and distressing information about the world leads to a decline in empathy. Jake and Simon discuss how a decline in rates of empathy affect our ability to practice perspective taking and experience empathic concern.

Article: Empathy Is Dying And So Are We by Rita Jabbour

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Creators & Guests

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a follow up to last week's episode about the attention wars. In this episode, we explore the concept of "agree to disagree" and how there seems to be a war of opinions playing out in our culture. Is it really possible to find common ground when opinions clash? We discuss strategies for navigating disagreements and the key differences between opinion-based and values-based conflicts. Can we respectfully acknowledge opposing views, or does disagreement signal a deeper divide?

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a frank discussion about the "attention economy"—where companies compete to capture our focus to sell us products. We break down the difference between attention, focus, and concentration, and examine how the constant battle for our attention impacts our mental health, productivity, and relationships. We discuss the hidden costs of a world where attention is monetized, and how we can reclaim control in this distraction-driven landscape.

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's our *encore* eppy from our first episode BACKKKK (from last year!!) This week, we're talking about why finding hope can often feel so hopeless in hopeless in times. We peel back the curtain on an article from The New Yorker called "Do you have hope?" which looks at the ways hope can live alongside despair, pain, and grief. We discuss what hope is, how hope can be active or passive, and how to use active forms of hope as a way of coping with challenging times and taking effective action on your goals.

Article: Do you have hope? By Joshua Rothman

Creators & Guests

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a thought-provoking *encore* episode about the growing influence of artificial intelligence in our personal lives. We ask the big question: Can AI truly replace human relationships? From AI companions and virtual therapists to chatbots that promise emotional support, technology is reshaping the way we connect. But what happens when machines become more accessible, predictable, and even more “reliable” than people?Are we building a world where technology enhances relationships—or one where it erodes the need for them altogether?

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Creators & Guests

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy...this is a flirty fab *encore* conversation about loneliness versus being alone. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore feelings around how we can feel lonely even though we're surrounded by people we love. Also, how being alone does not always mean you are lonely.

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Contact: [email protected]

Creators & Guests

This Isn't Therapy...it’s the ENCORE to our episode about emotions and emotionality. Am I overacting? Under-reacting? In this conversation, Jake and Simon chat about the normal, human, everyday emotions that show up in our lives. How do we know if our reactions are within a healthy range? They use the Window of Tolerance model to discuss big and small emotions, how to widen our windows, and what to do when emotions don’t seem to match the situation in front of us.

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Contact: [email protected]

Creators & Guests