This Isn’t Therapy

This Isn't Therapy... it's a follow up to last week's episode about the attention wars. In this episode, we explore the concept of "agree to disagree" and how there seems to be a war of opinions playing out in our culture. Is it really possible to find common ground when opinions clash? We discuss strategies for navigating disagreements and the key differences between opinion-based and values-based conflicts. Can we respectfully acknowledge opposing views, or does disagreement signal a deeper divide?

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Creators & Guests

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a frank discussion about the "attention economy"—where companies compete to capture our focus to sell us products. We break down the difference between attention, focus, and concentration, and examine how the constant battle for our attention impacts our mental health, productivity, and relationships. We discuss the hidden costs of a world where attention is monetized, and how we can reclaim control in this distraction-driven landscape.

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Creators & Guests

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This isn't therapy... it's a deeper dive into the topic of loneliness. Through stories submitted by the Loveliest Listeners, Jake and Simon discuss the crisis of loneliness and how to differentiate between feelings of loneliness and being alone. They also talk about the number one protective factor to combat loneliness and share their own reflections about how modern lifestyles shape our experiences of aloneness and loneliness.

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Creators & Guests

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This isn't therapy... and it's not working out, either! In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss what to do when therapy isn't working. Importantly, they talk about how to know if therapy is actually working and what to do when you feel like it's not. This episode is based on a Lovely Listener question: "If I cry in therapy, does that mean it's working?" Strap in!

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Creators & Guests

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's an episode about seeking validation (online). Are we becoming obsessed with our quest for constant reassurance, approval, and external validation? Piggy backing off last week's episode on narcism, Jake and Simon explore the sugar high that comes with too much external affirmation and how this weird, wacky, online world is eroding our sense of self. But is it vain to want a compliment? How can I become a more secure and confident person? Is it bad to want to look to others for approval? Or is that...survival? All this and more on this week's juicy, juicy episode!

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VOX Article: Validate Me, Please! by Allie Volpe

Creators & Guests

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's the long-overdue episode about narcissism. In this episode, we break down what narcissism really is, how it differs from strong self-esteem and healthy narcissism, and why the term is being overused in today’s culture. While true narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a serious condition, many of us display narcissistic traits from time to time—so where do we draw the line? We also explore the consequences of labeling people as narcissists too quickly, how this impacts relationships, and what we might actually be struggling with when we feel hurt by someone’s behaviour.

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Creators & Guests

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a deep dive into the world of “chameleon kids” — children who adapt their personalities, emotions, and behaviours to fit their surroundings and meet the unspoken needs of others. These kids are often labeled as “the good child,” “the helper,” or “the rule-follower,” but beneath the surface lies a complex mix of empathy, self-monitoring, and an innate drive to keep the peace. We’ll explore why chameleon kids shape-shift to gain approval, maintain harmony, and avoid adding stress to their families. We’ll also uncover how these early habits often carry into adulthood, leading to challenges with boundaries, self-expression, and people-pleasing.

Article: Pay Attention To The Chameleon Kids by Jake Ernst

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Creators & Guests

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a frank convo about the ever-changing language we use to describe our relationships. From loud looking to kiss-mets, the way we're seeking and obtaining connections continues to change alongside changes in technology and culture. This week, we discuss how nanoships, or in other words bite-sized relational moments, may be impacting our ability to connect with each other more deeply. We look to a report from Tinder (lol) to dissect how companies incentivize the use of their dating apps, potentially keeping us locked in cycles of social and emotional disconnection. Some are calling it microconnection and we have some thoughts about that.

Article 1: Is Microconnecting The Next Big Dating Trend? By Dr. Bruce Lee
Article 2: Tinder's Year In Swipe 2024

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Creators & Guests

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it’s a juicy convo about the power of regret. In a culture that would prefer us to "get over it" and "forget it" altogether, we unpack the ways that regret and remorse play out across the lifespan. Through listener story submissions, we discuss when it’s best to regret and when it's better to release. This conversation is for those who play the "Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda" game and hang on to prior mistakes, previous wrongdoings, or hold on to the life they could have had if things played out differently.

Creators & Guests

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a thought-provoking episode about the growing influence of artificial intelligence in our personal lives. We ask the big question: Can AI truly replace human relationships? From AI companions and virtual therapists to chatbots that promise emotional support, technology is reshaping the way we connect. But what happens when machines become more accessible, predictable, and even more “reliable” than people?Are we building a world where technology enhances relationships—or one where it erodes the need for them altogether?

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.