This Little Light of Mine - Leading Yourself Through the Fire of Religious Trauma

Christmas survival tips for LGBTQ Christians

This year has been a doozie for so many of us. And if you're anything like me the holiday season usually amplifies any feelings of loneliness, disconnection, or otherness that I may have swirling around in my head.

I know that I'm not alone on this one. For many Queer people of faith, the holiday season can be really hard and really dark. That cheery exterior that we are expected to portray in pictures, at parties, and on social media, that's not the reality for many of us.

Growing up I was constantly reminded that Christmas IS a time of warmth, happiness, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, singing carols at a candlelit Christmas Eve church service, and joyous family celebrations where you lovingly exchange gifts and where you spend time relaxing, connecting, and sharing meals with close family relatives. You know, all those fuzzy warm images and picture-perfect endings we see on the Hallmark Channel, and for some, that is their reality.

But for others, people like me, that's a fantasy and it's a painful reminder of what I'm told I wasn't allowed to be.

I get how hard this time of the year can be. I know how desperately hard so many of us want that perfect Hallmark Christmas fantasy to be our reality. It's not easy NOT being part of what is 'generally accepted' and what 'everyone else may be doing', but that doesn't make you wrong. 

My hope is that these top 7 Christmas survival tips for LGBTQ Christians will help you navigate any choppy waters in the weeks ahead.

No matter what your reality is this holiday season I want you to know something with absolute certainty.

You are loved unconditionally by God who made you exactly as you are.

Merry Christmas

James

www.thislittlelightofmine.ca

Referenced Links:

Glennon Doyle's 'We can do hard things' podcast

What is Religious Trauma Syndrome

Hello and welcome to This Little Light of Mine, my name is James Powell and I'm so glad that you were able to join me for today's story episode entitled Rehab. 

In today's episode, I'm taking you on the road with me to Philadelphia where I'm about to check into the trauma-informed rehab facility where I will be living for the next 30 days. Parts of me are still on a high from making the decision to attend, parts of me are terrified of what's right around the corner, and other parts of me are starting to have doubts that I may have made one of the biggest mistakes of my life in coming here.

James

www.thislittlelightofmine.ca

Hello and Welcome to This Little Light Of Mine, my name is James Powell and I'm really glad that you are able to join me for today's interview episode.

Today I'm joined with David Laskovski who is joining our conversation on mental health and will be helping us delve a little deeper into the topic of suicide. David developed the HELP model, that provides new tools and resources to professionals in Toronto's Emergency Medical Services to intervene and help those who may be suicidal.

Before we jump into today's episode I want to provide two important caveats. The first is a trigger warning. Suicide is an important and uncomfortable topic that touches many of our lives (even if we may not be aware that it does). While this conversation may be uncomfortable I know that it is a conversation that we need to get more comfortable with. That being said, the timing of this conversation may not be for everyone, right now. Please proceed with caution and listen to your body on what you need to be safe in this moment.

The second caveat that I want to share is that David is my boyfriend. David has helped me grow in a number of ways over the past couple of years and I wanted to invite him on to share some of his kindness, wisdom, and love so that it might help others too.

With David's expertise my hope and intention behind this episode is that we can all get a little more comfortable talking about this uncomfortable topic.

James

Episode links:

Kevin Hines - Golden Gate Bridge

Guide: How to talk about suicide

Hello and welcome to This Little Light of Mine, my name is James Powell and I'm so glad that you were able to join me for today's story episode entitled Coming out again.

In today's episode I walk you some of the uncomfortable yet necessary events that followed my big decision to JUMP! from S02E05. I'm putting my decision to attend an in-patient trauma-informed rehab facility into action. It's time for me to get vulnerable, out myself in an entirely new way, and have conversations with my parents and with my employer, to share that I need to take time away to heal.

I have so many thoughts and feelings come up when I think back to that time and space in my life. I was on a constant pendulum swinging back and forth between fear and relief.

What I now know for sure, coming out is not a binary process. When we are growing and evolving, we are in a perpetual process of coming out.

What are some areas of your life that you now feel safe enough to come out of your shell some more?

James.

https://www.thislittlelightofmine.ca

I'm joined with Bonnie Violet. Bonnie is a trans femme genderqueer spiritual drag artist, digital chaplain and host of 'A Queer Chaplin' and 'Splintered Grace' podcasts.  

In today's interview episode Bonnie and I will be talking about the recent Netflix conversation therapy documentary, titled 'Pray Away'. 

We'll be talking what we found, helpful, hurtful, and what we hope for, should a possible part two be in the works.

Bonnie said it best when she said "Don't pray for me not to be trans. Don't pray for me not to be gay. Pray for me to get closer to God."

Imagine what our world could be if we didn't ask people to change. Imagine what our world could be if we honoured the individuality that God designed into each of us.

Imagine what our world could be if we helped and encouraged each other to go deeper within, to discover how beautiful they already are, instead of teaching people to Pray Away.

What are you praying FOR?

James

http://www.thislittlelightofmine.ca

In today's story episode, I'm going to take you Peru where my friend Rob from OUT Adventures helped me to experience my own outer discovery adventure and inner journey for the soul.

Going into this trip, I had everything on the OUTSIDE that I thought should make me happy, but I wasn't. I was in desperate need of an inner transformation. I needed to find a space within myself where I felt safe enough and brave enough to jump.

It was this inner journey with OUT Adventures where I made one of my own life changing decisions to JUMP.

Transformational travel is an incredible set and setting to embrace and experience the fullest expression of your being. And we each have the opportunity to choose to BE that person right now. It's not the travel that creates the opportunity. It's YOU who gives yourself the full permission to be alive while travelling. You can give yourself that full permission with every breath you take.

For more information on OUT Adventures check out Rob at https://www.outadventures.com/ and @outadventures

For explore more about how Liz helps women find joy in their wellness journeys through travel you can meet Liz at @lizbeancrookston and discover The Archer Group at https://www.thearchergroupinc.ca

For pictures and more from today's episode please visit https://www.thislittlelightofmine.ca

James

@the.jamespowell

Hello and welcome to This Little Light Of Mine, my name is James Powell and I'm so glad that you are able to join me for the second part of my conversation with Dr. Mike Rosebush.

If you haven't been introduced to Mike yet, I would encourage you to skip back to S02E03, Honey, I think I'm a homosexual.

In today's episode Mike will share what happened when he came out while working as a VP at Focus on the Family, his role as a conversion therapist, outing himself again on a national ex-gay conference stage, going back into the closet, and what helped him to fully love and embrace all of who God made him to be.

Connecting with Mike affirmed that we were designed to live and be fully alive. We were not created to be dead humans walking. The number one way that we start living, is when we are faithful to how we are each individually designed from love.

Our coming out process is about being faithful, authentic, and loving to ourselves. The more that we do this with ourselves, the more we can share this faithfulness and love with others.

This is our challenge today. What is the truth you want to stand up for and share with our world?

How will you share that your sexuality, no matter the form, can never be broken, wrong, or sinful? How will you love more and share more of yourself with the world around you? How will you help the next generation know that you are needed, you are important, you are wanted, you are included, and you are loved?

We need you now. When you raise your voice, the world will hear your echo for generations to come.

Raise your voice, hear IT echo

You are loved, James

To read more from Dr. Mike Rosebush, check him out on Medium.

Episode theme by Emorie: Raise a voice, hear it echo

Do you have any gay Christian role models or mentors?

On today's episode, I'm joined with Dr. Mike Rosebush who describes himself as somewhat of a gay Christian Yoda.

In this first part of our conversation, Mike will share how his wild journey of his 'most unusual gay Christian life' got started.

In Part 1 of our conversation Mike talks about:

• growing up with 'John Wayne' as a father
• being top of his class in the US Air Force Academy
• speaking life, for the first time, at age 30, to a homosexual person
• Coming out while in the US Air Force
• Coming out to his pregnant wife
• Going into conversation therapy
• Starting as a VP with Focus on the Family

To read more from Dr. Mike Rosebush, check him out on Medium.

James

I never considered that I might be surrounded by help. For most of my life I’ve been afraid to ask for help, because asking for help meant getting hurt. And as a kid I thought I was supposed to avoid getting hurt.

What comes to your mind when the topic of 'asking for help' comes up? 

Is asking for help something that comes easy for you? Is asking for help something that you avoid? Or does asking for help depend on the type of help that you need? Is it okay to ask for help moving a heavy object but not okay when the help you need is more emotional in nature?

I believe that a major part of our healing and recovery journey comes when we learn to ask for help AND accept and appreciate how beautiful, wonderful, and unique God has created each and every one of us... including me. And especially you.

Thanks for joining me today and I look forward to returning in two weeks' time for our first interview episode of S02 where I will be joined with Dr. Mike Rosebush who will share his WILD journey and ‘most unusual gay Christian Life’.

Book reference by Peter A Levine: In an Unspoken Voice - How the body releases trauma and restores goodness

Cover design: creative directed by David Laskovski

By finding the courage to ask for the help I desperately needed I slowly started to understand that I wasn’t broken.  I slowly started to understand that I was not alone.  I slowly started to let go of holding onto the control that I thought was keeping me safe.  I slowly started to understand that childhood trauma doesn’t simply disappear.  Trauma morphs, transforms, and continues to inflict harm until we start to face the root of what harmed us.

I’m excited to have you join me for Season Two where I’ll share parts of my recovery journey after hitting bottom and finding the courage to start asking for help.  Where I thought that I was alone, isolated, and detached from others, I started to understand and experience that I was surrounded by help.  And much of the help that I’ve received came from some of the most unexpected places and people.

Throughout S02 I will also be introducing you to other individuals who will share their experiences of how their world has taken on new meaning, understanding, and purpose when they started to accept who they were created to be, love who they were created to be and had the courage to reach out, connect with others, and ask for the help they needed.

When we start asking for the help we need for ourselves, we stand up for love and start to prioritize mental health, emotional health, and spiritual health in our own lives, and start to give permission for others to do the same.

James